The Leia Impersonation
Chapter One
A/N My first attempt at a multi chapter fic, though it won't be excessively long. It will be a trilogy in keeping in theme with the episode it is written around. This story takes place during and following the events of "The Proton Transmogrification". I own nothing of the Big Bang or Star Wars universes. Please don't sue me Mr. Lucas or Lorre, all you'll get is my beat up car and some naughty cats.
The festivities for May the fourth were winding down for the ladies in apartment 4A. As much as they loved their men, there was only so much Star Wars that any normal person could handle at one time. They had watched the first one and then there was a heated hour long discussion of how bad it was. The name Jar Jar was repeated in a disgusted way, over and over again. During this time, the women huddled in the kitchen, talking and sipping wine. Then they watched the one with all the clones in it followed by the one where we see how Darth Vader came to be, but it was late and they were so done. Each one of the girls had nodded off at least once during the last movie. Amy awoke with her head on Sheldon's warm, comfortable shoulder. She was surprised she was not scolded for this. When she sheepishly looked up into his face, she was rewarded with a small smile.
Penny rose and stretched as the credits rolled, then turned to Leonard. "I'm going to bed Sweetie; you're not planning on watching the other three movies tonight are you?"
Leonard opened his mouth to answer, when Sheldon interjected. "Of course we're watching them all! It's May the fourth, that's what we do on May the fourth!" He sat forward on his spot and looked around to his friends. "Just because we started a little later this year doesn't mean we stop because it's past our bedtime." His declaration was met with less than enthusiastic replies.
"Raj and I did already watch A New Hope and Empire already." Howard reminded him. Raj nodded. "Yeah, Dude we are two movies ahead of you, I say we watch Jedi and call it a night."
Leonard looked wistfully in Penny's direction. "It is getting pretty late…" Leonard was torn between cuddling in bed with Penny and guilt over wanting to spend time with Sheldon. Sheldon would never admit it, but Leonard knew it was an emotionally draining day for him. He had looked up to Professor Proton since he was a small child. He kind of wanted to keep an eye on Sheldon to make sure he was doing alright.
Sheldon looked disappointed. "Every year we watch the entire Star Wars movie franchise in its entirety, even the tedious Phantom Menace, and you are telling me that just because we started a little late this year, you want to throw in the towel! This is highly unacceptable!" Sheldon pouted and stomped off to the kitchen and opened the fridge.
Raj, Howard and Leonard looked at one another and sighed. "I'll finish them up with you, Buddy" Leonard called over to him.
"Might as well." agreed Raj. "Do we still have some of those one hundred calorie snack packs left?" There was a quick eye roll from Howard and a nod from Leonard. All eyes turned to Howard.
"If Amy doesn't mind giving Bernie a ride home I'll stay. I don't want to be the one who ruined Star Wars Day." grumbled Howard.
If Sheldon hadn't just lost his childhood hero, he would have been out of there faster than you could say "Tatooine".
Sheldon gave the small smile he reserved for when he would get his way, which was as he told everyone repeatedly, was the right way. "Now that's more like it! Let's take a ten minute break and then we start episode four!" He grinned excitedly, set his water down by his spot and headed for the bathroom.
"I don't mind dropping Bernie off. Thank you, guys. It will mean a lot to Sheldon." Amy smiled thankfully.
Bernadette beamed at her pint sized husband. "Oh, Howie. Thanks for being a good friend to Sheldon in his time of need. He's been going through a tough time the last couple of days. You know," she gave Howard a sly, secret smile; "good deeds should be rewarded."
Howard grinned back. "Well you know in keeping with the theme of tonight I have a little request…" He stood up and leaned over to his wife's ear and whispered.
Bernadette had a small frown on her face. "Dress up like Princess Leia? Isn't that a little demeaning?" she asked.
"Bernie if I wanted everyone to know what I was asking you, I wouldn't have whispered." said a slightly embarrassed Howard.
All eyes except for the absent Sheldon's were focused on the married couple. "Well, she's really hot!" said Howard in a small voice. "Most fan boys have fantasized about her at one time or another." His eyes got a far off look in them. "She has gotten me through a lot of long lonely nights in the past."
Penny cocked her head at Leonard and Raj and asked, "Do you two feel the same as Howard?" They sheepishly nodded with grins on their faces. The girls looked at each other with slight frowns. "I feel as a woman that she was objectified by that outfit. This to me is along the same lines as that French maid outfit I wouldn't wear!" Bernadette huffed. She thought of the other outfit Howard enjoyed, the school girl one. She wasn't too crazy about that one either, but at least it wasn't a maid or slave girl costume. She liked pleasing her man, but had some standards.
Amy felt confused by what Bernadette had said. She didn't think the outfit was demeaning or objectifying. Huh, and Penny said that she dressed like "Forever 63".
"Bernie I tell ya, she has a huge following in the nerd universe, I bet even Sheldon has fantasized about her a time or two, and he has the sexual interest of algae." Howard said. Amy shot Howard a dirty look. It seemed to be the running joke around here that her boyfriend was as sexless as, well, algae. She knew that was not the case and that there were improvements, small as they were. The whole gang talking about their sex life or lack thereof was getting really old.
"I have not fantasized about Amy!" Sheldon had returned from the bathroom and heard the end of Howard's sentence. He immediately looked over to Amy with panic and wide eyes, that were slightly twitching, cheeks flushing, then strode over to Leonard and said in a low hiss, "I told you that in confidence! As a person sworn to the covenant of secret keeper, you have broken any and all trust I have in you!" Amy's eyes widened and her heart went into overdrive as her gaze snapped to her boyfriends face. Did he just admit that he had fantasized about her!
Leonard looked up at Sheldon and stated in a quiet, even voice. "We weren't talking about that, Sheldon; we were talking about fantasizing about Princess Leia."
Sheldon froze, trying to think of a way to gain back his composure. Every one had heard what had just happened and reactions ranged from a giggle covered by a hand from Penny, to a dirty smirk from Howard.
"Ah." Sheldon said followed by a hard swallow. "Princess Leia." Amy felt flushed and wanted to question Sheldon further, but not in front of everyone. Algae indeed! Take that Wolowitz! A few seconds of awkward silence passed by when Howard, in a rare moment of kindness, offered Sheldon an out instead of the ribbing he normally would.
"We were talking about how most red blooded, science fiction loving males have at one time or another had fantasies of Princess Leia. I said you probably even have."
Sheldon looked thoughtful, his embarrassment slowly fading as he considered the question. "I have always admired Leia." He started. "She is highly intelligent and very brave. She can use a blaster better than anyone, even Han. Plus she did kill Jabba the Hutt single handedly without a conventional weapon. Plus, for being a Princess, she is pretty humble and works along side the common rebel folk."
Amy watched Sheldon's eyes gleam as he waxed poetic about Leia. She wished he would have that same look when he talked about her one day. These boys and their cheap science fiction! As she thought about that, her thoughts were interrupted by Sheldon clapping his hands together and stating, "Alright five minutes before we start 'A New Hope', tick tock!"
Howard leaned over and kissed Bernadette. "Think about it." he said softly. "It would be a real turn-on." She gave him a sideways look.
Leonard hopped up and smooched Penny and said goodnight. Amy grabbed her purse and turned to Sheldon on his spot. "Goodnight Sheldon."
"Goodnight Amy. Thank you for the Death Star cake." He said with a slight smile.
His eyes flicked to hers briefly, but he was still a bit embarrassed from a few minutes before, so she could not hold his gaze.
"You're welcome Sheldon." She said with her own slight smile. "I'll Skype you tomorrow." She filed out of the apartment with the other girls.
When they closed the door, Bernie turned to the others. "Can you believe Howie wants me to dress up like that?"
"Uh… yeah! Have you met your husband?" Penny said. "That pretty much sounds like the Howard I'm used to." Penny continued speaking thoughtfully. "You know, Carrie Fisher had a rockin' bod and really owned that outfit. I'm not surprised the boys liked her." Penny finished with a far off look in her eye.
Amy frowned slightly. "Even Sheldon kind of had the hots for her."
"Well maybe you should dress up like Leia for Sheldon. It may give him more things to fantasize about!" Bernadette grinned.
Amy grew red again. Penny nodded. "He did seem to get excited talking about her. He also made her seem like more than just a sex object. Who knows maybe that will be just the thing to activate his lightsaber."
Penny and Bernadette giggled, while Amy looked embarrassed and doubtful. "He didn't respond at all to the Snow White outfit I wore. Or the school girl outfit."
"Well I know it works great on Howard. Didn't Leonard like Sleeping Beauty?" Bernadette looked at Penny who confirmed with a nod.
"I do recall that a certain Star Trek nurse's outfit was a big success." Penny said slyly. "This would be along the same lines as that."
"You know, I forgot how much fun it was when we dressed up as princesses last time." Bernadette reminisced in a quiet voice. The three of them all stood there thinking for a moment. "Well, goodnight!" Penny broke the silence. "Goodnight!" Amy and Bernadette replied, and then they turned and walked down the stairs very deep in thought.