Authors note: I have not finished the other story I'm working on, but it will be finished.. I have even already begun working on it, but this pairing has been at the top of my mind and I feel I must contribute to this growing pairing. I do not own. In fact I don't own so much, that it'd be easier to list the things I do own… nothing. Enjoy my ducklings.
This sucks. Not entirely. But enough. I hate school. And I hate doing school things outside of school. But at least I'm in good enough company. He's a dork, but it's been growing on me.
"Double Dork, can't we do this tomorrow."
"Never put off till tomorrow what can be done today Kevin." His gap smile annoys me, but I also kind of like it.
"But it's nearly eight." He pauses.
"Perhaps you should leave." He gets up swiftly. It's not often I see him moving fast. "We will continue tomorrow. At your house."
"Why can't we meet here." I don't mind him coming over, but my room is a mess, and I know the entire time he will be nagging me about cleaning and repeating filthy filthy filthy. Although it is cute when he says that little mantra.
"My mother will be off tomorrow. And she will be home soon, I must begin preparing her dinner."
"I want to meet her." His tiny hands push against my back. It's ineffective in making me leave his labeled room.
"Absolutely not. Ed and Eddy haven't even met her. I would prefer no one ever meet her."
"And whys that?" It's cute how unsure he looks.
"My reasons for being teased have always outweighed my qualities that merit approval from my peers."
"So, you're mom's like weird or something."
"On the contrary.."
"Eddward sweetums, I got off a little early that way we could spend time together before you go to sleep." He looks at the direction the voice came in. Then at me.
"I suppose you will be meeting mother." He looks defeated. I hate seeing him like this. About a year ago I learned that I wasn't interested in girls, about the same time I learned I was also not interested in males. About the same time I learned that the only person that could turn me on was a certain sock headed double dork. Since I learned these things, I've been trying to transition from his bully to, well at least his friend. Someone he can rely on. I shake my head slightly to wake myself up and I follow him down the stairs.
"Awe, you haven't cooked yet, and I was really hoping for some of you delicious food." The woman standing in Edd's kitchen is beautiful. Almost to a terrifying level. She looks at me and she blushes slightly before grabbing me into a hug.
"Eddward, who is this adorable friend of yours." She looks like Double Dee on a large level. She has a tiny gap between her front two teeth that remind me of him. She's not so much tall as long. Her eyes match his. It almost feels like I'm hugging him. I've never touched him intimately, and my body can't help but to react to the idea of him against me. She had pulled away some time ago to hug her son before rushing off to change her shoes into the mandatory house slippers.
"She's beautiful isn't see." His words are bitter. "She's modeled before." My body is still warm in areas that I do not need to be warm. Especially here. I hang my arms in front of me. I have nothing to hide my body behind. He looks at me. Like he's looking through me.
"You look a lot like her." He looks at me and his normal docile look turns into a glare.
"I do not need your mockery Kevin. I realize that compared to her.. compared to anyone I am nerdy and unattractive."
"Woo. Why the hostility. Chill dude."
"Maybe you should 'chill' you're the one who became aroused by hugging my mother." He looks at me and sighs going back to himself. "I apologize Kevin. My mother has always been a sore spot."
"It wasn't your mom." What the hell am I saying.
"Pardon?" He didn't hear. He didn't understand leave it at that.
"It wasn't your mom that you know. Gave me a hard on." He blushes at my words. I grab his arm and half drag, half carry him to his room. What am I doing.
I've always prided myself on staying detached from others. In the many relationships I've had, I never expressed true affection for any of them. But here I am. Standing in the middle of an organized hell, trying to hide my boner from the dork that gave it to me. This sucks. I don't know what to say in this situation.
"You're better with words than I am." He casually sits on the edge of his bed. Completely relaxed. His bout of anger seems to have drained him.
"I read dictionaries in order to be articulate. Pardon my rudeness, but your point?"
"You know what to say in any situation. Even if you're uncomfortable you know what to say."
"Not true Kevin. However, I see your point, please continue." I sit down beside him an arm's length away.
"I feel vulnerable. And when I feel vulnerable, the only thing that makes me comfortable again is for others to feel vulnerable also." My hands shake. "Take off your hat."
"No. I will not remove my hat."
"Then fuck. Do something. I can't talk to you."
"Language Kevin. There are plenty of words in the English language that will allow you to get your point across without vulgarity."
"How am I supposed to talk to you Edd." He freezes slightly at the use of his name and his body is stiff. I really don't use his name often.
"It depends on what you wish to tell me."
"Tomorrow we are out of school. Let's hang out. I know we have to do that school junk, but after that. Or before that. Let's hang out."
"Why?" He pauses. I know he plans to say more and is forming his thoughts. "We are not friends. As I recall, you were more than reluctant to even work with me on our project." I was. That much is true. The thought of spending time just me and him has always both made me anxious and excite me. In more ways than I care to admit. "Mother will become suspicious of you." He sighs to himself. "And bluntly, spending the day being insulted and or bullied is not an exciting endeavor." He's counting off on his fingers. "Plus, ed and eddy will wish to do scams." Another finger. "And my chores must be complete." I grab his hand to stop him, and the fire that had died down stirs again. I rip my hand away.
"Yea. I get it. Tomorrow my place, we can finish the project." Everything hurts. It hurts to move. It hurts to breath. Him. Why him. Why not someone that wasn't able to hurt me. My eyes are sore. But I will not cry. I'm in high school. I can't cry. I'm a man. "I should be getting home."
His mom comes rushing up the stairs.
"There you boys are. I whipped up a quick meal, Kevin dear will you stay and have it with us. I prepared you a plate as well." I go to object, but she pulls me down stairs and sits me at the table. "I am so glad to see Eddward has friends. He's claimed before that he does, but I've not met a single one. He's my baby you know." I nibble at the food and don't look up.
"And I have heard so much about you from little Eddward." I look up. Double Dee is quietly eating his food. He doesn't look embarrassed. "You are dating that neighborhood girl am I right? What did you say her name was again dear?"
"Naz."
"That's right." She exclaims.
"No, um we are just close friends."
"Well surely you have someone. You're tall, athletic, popular from what Eddward has told me."
"I don't really ya know, have someone." Why is she making me feel uncomfortable. It's like she is planning this.
"You have to like someone." I feel like I can't lie to her.
"There is no girl that I'm in to." That'll stop her. She smiles knowingly. Her smirk scares me, but she stops asking me questions.
"Eddward, I forgot to mention. Your father is also coming home tomorrow, he'll be on another business trip for a few weeks after that." He looks up as if contemplating something.
"Oh goodness, what a shame, I had made previous plans to stay with Kevin this weekend. We need to finish the project we are working on soon." He looks at me. Silently begging.
"Yea Double Dee, you can't back out, we have to get it done."
"Oh, I apologize, I should have told you earlier. That is perfectly fine sweetums, however at least the last night he is here, I would like you to be home, he doesn't come home to often."
"Yes mother." She smiles.
"But to make up for it, you are welcome to stay at his house tonight as well, if his parents are okay with it."
"They won't mind. Yea Double Dee, let's go get your bag and head over." He nods as his mother gathers up the dishes. As soon as we are back in his room I grab his arm and force him to sit down.
"Spill."
"I just do not get along with my father is all."
"To the point you would rather stay at my house. There has to be more than that."
"Your name is just the first I could think of, if you would prefer, I can stay at Ed's. That is what I did last time he came home." He looks down. "I prefer not to speak of him."
"Stay with me." He looks at me confused and I search for words to ease what I said. "We need to finish the project anyways. He nods, grabs a bag already packed full of clothes.
"I always keep a bag of enough clothes to last me five days. I like being prepared." All I hear is his mother telling us to lock the door on the way out.
My house is dark. Dad and mom both work evenings and then sometimes mornings as well. I don't know how they manage to find time to sleep. He follows me down the hall to my room. And I suddenly realize that I am alone with my crush. Just him and me. Only us.
"You're room is cleaner than I suspected it to be."
"Um, thanks I guess." This is really awkward. What the hell am I supposed to do.
"Kevin, where am I going to sleep?"
"Um, my bed. We can share, it's big enough where we won't be on top of each other or nothing." Calm down inner Kevin. Do not imagine him under you. Do not imagine him on top of you. Just stop thinking about him. He looks unsure.
"I will go shower now if you do not mind, where may I find the lavatory."
"Next door." He nods and takes a handful of items and nods to me as he leaves. My body instantly relaxes.
I sit still for a moment until I hear the water rushing. And for a moment, I just let my mind wonder to areas that I should not be in under the circumstances.
Him bathing. His head bare of that dorky cap, I wonder what's under there. Eyes closed in contentment. His body is still so frail, I bet he's really slender. Tiny nipples. Lean stomach traveling further down.
But now's not the time for these thoughts. I glance at his bag. I know when we were all younger he wore those dorky tidy whiteys, I wonder if he still wears that kind. I shake the thought away and get into my own night clothes. Just some simple boxers. I don't like wearing shirts when I sleep.
It's comfortable under the sheets. My hand moves over the front of my boxers. It'd feel so good right now, but I can't. I 'accidently' rub my hand over that spot again. I want to touch him. I let out a content sigh when I finally allow myself to grasp my hard on. He can never know about this. He can never know how he affects me.
I hear the water shut off and I shamefully pull my hand back. What the hell was I doing. With him in the other room is not the time to daydream about him.
After about five minutes he comes in wearing house shoes, long blue cotton sleep pants, and a black long sleeved shirt. On his head where his normal sock thing is, he instead has a sleep cap.
"You always keep your head covered." He puts his various shampoos into a baggy and back into his bag. "I've never seen you without it." He says nothing. "How long have you worn it."
"Since I was about four or five." He sits on the bed. "You are not wearing a shirt." He looks away.
"Yea, no big deal, nothing you haven't seen. We are both guys after all."
"I have not seen anything even similar." He pokes his muscle less arms. But then lays down quietly on top of the covers. I flip the light out. I don't know what else to do. It's still only about 9:30. I do not know how long the quiet goes before I hear his quiet whispered voice. "Kevin. What were you saying earlier."
"What do you mean."
"I am unsure, you would not continue because I was not vulnerable." He pauses. "Right now I am in the bed of a man who use to harm me in order to avoid being around one who still does. I am vulnerable. Please continue."
"I would like for us to be friends."
"Is that all?"
"No. But it's a start."
"How do you plan to be my friend."
"By making sure you rely on me."
"I do not understand what you wish of me."
"Everything." I feel him turn to look at me.
"Pardon."
"I'm not ready yet Edd."
"For?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Alright then, tomorrow it is. Good night Kevin and thank you for letting me stay with you." After twenty minutes he is asleep. At some point he had climbed under the covers and I can feel his warmth. This is why I prefer only wearing boxers to sleep. I love being cold, so I can seek out warmth.
Slowly as to not startle him I scoot closer to him until his clothed back is against my bare chest. My arm is allowed to hang over his slender waist and on to his abdomen. My face finds comfort in the back on his neck.
I just need to wake up before him. Before that thought is even registered in my mind, my body drifts off.