A Vacation to Springfield

By Shadowgate

…...

Rigby's brother sent him and Mordecai two tickets to Springfield Illinois since Springfield is a hell of a town.

When they went to the airport people were surprised to see both a talking raccoon and a talking bluejay.

When they arrived in Springfield and drove from the airport into town they tried to enter Moe's Tavern because they wanted beer after a stressful flight.

Moe wouldn't let them in because he said only dogs for the blind were allowed in. Rigby flipped him off.

They checked into their motel room and then went for a walk. They stumbled upon a kid with blond hair.

Rigby said "hey kid I'm Rigby and this is Mordecai

The kid answered "I'm Bart Simpson and I think talking animals are great."

Rigby and Mordecai met their first friend in Springfield. Bart led them to his house and they entered right at dinner time. Marge was making fried chicken along with vegetables and rolls.

When Bart introduced them Marge was surprised and Homer flipped out a little.

"I don't think I want talking animals in my house."

Bart said "well they talk and they have jobs right now they're on vacation."

Homer replied "oh those animals have jobs."

Mordecai said "we work at an a city park."

Homer replied "oh sure and I work for the CIA and I kill people for a living."

Bart said "no you work for a power plant and most of the time your boss Mister Burns makes you his bitch."

Marge snapped "BART" and Homer yelled "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Bart took his dinner up to his room and Marge made extra for his two friends.

When Rigby and Mordecai got up to Bart's room they looked at his music collection.

He had Gwar, Asking Alexandria, Slayer, and Alice Cooper.

Rigby said "oh good just the music I like."

Rigby said "put on Hail Genocide."

All three of them start thrashing around to Gwar.

After that Rigby said "we do appreciate the hospitality. We went to a Moe's Tavern and he wouldn't serve us. Shit we're old enough to drink."

Bart replied "I prank call that tavern all the time. He's so stupid he falls for it."

Bart got his cellphone out and dialed Moe's.

Moe said "Moe's Tavern this is Moe speaking."

Bart answered "hello is Mister Penile-Erection there."

Moe said "oh like I'm really going to fall for that one you little shit."

Bart said "you fall for all of them."

Rigby asked for the phone and Bart gave it to him.

"Hello I'm the raccoon you threw out earlier and I am calling to let you know I have fantasies of your mother sucking my cock."

All three start laughing and Moe gets really pissed off.

"If I see your coon ass in the street you'll be Goddamn roadkill!"

Homer came upstairs and asked "what the hell are you three laughing at? I hear music and laughing and you're supposed to be in the middle of a punishment."

Bart said "we were listening to Gwar."

Homer said "oh Gwar is one wild rock band he he he, oh wait a minute like I said before you're in the middle of a punishment."

Bart said "yes dad but like you said Gwar is one wild rock band."

Homer said "yes they are" and as Homer turned to leave he turned back around and said "wait a minute you're in the middle of a punishment so you can't listen to music. You tried to trick me Bart."

Bart said "oh you can't trust me to not try and trick you."

Rigby said "yeah and you definitely can't trust him not to fart in your coffee in the morning."

Homer yelled "BART HAVE YOU BEEN FARTING IN MY COFFEE?"

Bart said "no but Rigby just gave me a good idea by suggesting that."

Homer yelled "DOH!"

Mordecai said "let's play Gwar."

Bart puts on a Gwar's This Toilet Earth and they all start thrashing.

Rigby yelled "SPRINGFIELD IT'S A HELL OF A TOWN!"

THE END