I don't own Overwatch. I also do not have any claim towards the demigod, Requis.
It was just a normal day at Watchpoint: Gibraltar. Nothing out of the ordinary. Winston conducting science experiments. Genji meditating. cutting her wrists because she overdosed on Starcraft. Mei being a cunt. Everything was fine until some brolic black dude named fucking REQUIS, came in and pulled bed sheets over everyone's head, and proceeded to SKULL FUCK THEM.
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The "event" happened at around 4:30 PM.
Pharah and Mercy were alone in there room playing Call of Duty: Squid Warfare. They were having a good time, but Mercy was having an issue with flashbangs. She would get flashed about every 23 seconds. Mercy tried flashing other players in retaliation, but her flashes would not hit. After being flashed for times in a row, and getting a Squid Tentacle shoved through the back of her skull, Mercy had had enough.
"Waz Zum Teufel! Why is it that when I flash someone, it's like I slapped them across the face with a napkin from a little kids birthday party. But when I get fucking flashed, it's like some brolic black dude named fucking REQUIS! Came in and pulled bed sheets over around my head, and than proceeded, to SKULL FUCK ME-!"
Suddenly, Mercy was cut off and there was a loud bang. The closed door, which sat 5 feet away from Pharah and Mercy suddenly burst open. In it's place, and gigantic, 6'6 African American man with a big black beard stood, towering over the two women.
"DID SOMEONE SAY REQUIS?"
The two women sat there, both at a complete lost for words. There was a awkward silence that lasted for about 30 seconds.
Pharah was the first one to speak up.
"I am sorry, how the hell did you get passed security-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP PHARAH, NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR CRUSTY ASS."
Requis than grabbed Pharah, pulled a bedsheet over her head, turned her around, and shoved his massive 14 inch member right through Pharah's head, making her brains spill out of her head and on to the floor in front of Mercy.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL? HOW DOES IT FEEL MERCY? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WATCH ME SHOVE MY MASSIVE DICK, RIGHT THROUGH YOUR LOVER'S FACE?"
Requis than proceeded to slap his cock across Mercy's face, spreading bits of brain all over her face.
"NOW, YOU HAVE TO DO ONE MORE THING."
Mercy, who was balling her eyes out, slowly choked out. "Wha-What?"
"SLAP INTO A SLIM JIM!"
Requis than vaporized into an infinite amount of slim jims that buried the entire earth, killing every other life force on the planet. Except Mike Tyson. He was fine. He also had wild monkey sex with Winston, who also survived. Cause he is a monkey.
"I'm not a monkey. I'm a Monkey."
"It's Gorod Time."