I gazed out into the water, standing high above it on the cliff. Blue. Like his eyes. I laughed bitterly but no tears fell. They had all left earlier.

My thoughts turned to the war. The one who had taken everything from me. Stripped me of all I held dear. My family, my name, my innocence, my pride. The one who had finally broken my soul.

My eyes turned once more to the ever-shifting sea. Dangerous, gentle. Safe. Like Heero. My Heero. The one thing who kept me human.

I wasn't Duo Maxwell anymore. I wasn't Shinigami either. Duo Maxwell died when Heero did. Shinigami stayed for a while after that but eventually he left too. It's hard to stay angry. Too hard. Much too hard when your just a numb carcass. Surviving day to day.

My hair, loose (the way he liked it best), flew around me. Trapping me in a circle of chestnut brown. He used to love my hair. He'd brush it for me every night. The only one I let close to it.

I hadn't brushed it in two weeks. It seemed wrong to break the ritual. Heero should be the one to brush out my hair for me.

A dry sob escaped me. Before, I never cried. Heero's the one who showed me it was ok to cry sometimes.

Funny that the one who was considered the most expressionless and heartless of us all would be the one who would know the most about joy and life. Life of which he was now deprived.

I remembered his Prussian blue eyes gazing deeply into mine as I held his hand. The gentle smile that was used just for me. I thought he looked beautiful. Even with blood staining his shirt and spilling from his lips, he was still the most beautiful being I had ever seen.

"Duo", he had said, softly, as if he wanted to preserve the fragile moment and was scared that too much noise might ruing it. I had smiled, loving the way he said my name. It made it sound exotic and beautiful. It made me sound special.

"Duo. I want you to live. Even if you feel as if you can't, live, for me. Promise me you'll live."

I had shaken my head.

"Heero..."

"No!", he interrupted. "Promise me", he clutched my hand feebly. "Promise."

I had promised, tears falling from my eyes. He had smiled at me, relieving my hand of the pressure he had put on it. "Aishiteru baka."

Then he closed his eyes for the last time, my special smile fixed to his lips, and my heart broke at the knowledge that I would never see them glow as he teased me ever again.

Now, as I found myself looking at the churning waters, I once again cursed the war which had taken so much from me.

I had always stuck to one rule I may run and hide but I never tell a lie. It had been my saving grace in the war. That and Heero. But now, even that had been taken from me.

I pushed off the ground and closed my eyes, my arms stretching wide at my sides and my hair flying around me as I let myself fall towards the liquid abyss.

I lied Heero.

-AN/HERE-AN/HERE-AN/HERE-AN/HERE-AN/HERE-AN/HERE-AN/HERE

I was really depressed and desperately looking for an angst fic and when I couldn't find any good ones I decided to write my own but I'm better now. Tell me what you think. Please forgive me if I made any mistakes. I've never watched an episode of Gundam Wing A/C (or Gundam Wing period) in my life and I despise all kinds of Manga (i love anime though).

Everything I know, I learned from fanfics so forgive me if there are any blatant mistakes and feel free to correct me.