Chapter 1

Not enough people walk anymore. We rely too much on cars, and buses, and taxi-cabs, and other forms of transport to get us from one place to another. I watch tourists in London everyday on my morning commute on the underground, as they frantically scan their guide books and locate the nearest tube station to the landmark they want to see. They jump on at one stop and jump off at the next, never realising just how close they already were to their destination, nor the fantastic walk they've just missed out on.

I recite this over and over in my head as I meander along the South Bank, trying to convince myself that this is the real reason for my impromptu evening stroll. I should have just gone straight home from work, and yet here I am, miles away from both.

'I am enjoying the May evening sunshine,' I repeat to myself out loud. A passing German couple give me a strange look. I sigh. It's all lies anyway. I know exactly why I have taken this detour this evening and it has absolutely nothing to do with the weather.

He is here.

It's been two years since I've seen Christian Grey and over a year since I've even been in the same country, and yet it feels like I can sense his very presence since he arrived this morning. It was Kate who had given me a heads up last week. She has very little to do with Christian, but as she is still dating his brother, she does have a small insight into his schedule. I decide to call her now just to check he hadn't cancelled his 'business' trip to London at the last minute.

'Katherine Kavanagh,' she answers briskly.

'Morning Kate,' I sigh.

'Evening London,' she says more sympathetically.

'Well…'

'He arrived this morning,' she confirms. I slump down onto a bench overlooking the river. 'Where are you?' she asks softly. 'It sounds like your outside.'

'Beside the river. South Bank," I say quietly.

'Very nice.' A brief pause. 'It's going to be ok you know.'

I don't reply.

'It will Ana,' she insists. 'Remember Steele by name –'

'Steel by nature,' I complete the mantra. 'It has to happen doesn't it?'

'Yes,' she says as kindly as she can. 'And you knew it would eventually. It just took him a bit longer than both of us thought.'

'Yea,' I reply, taking a deep breath and trying to mentally push away the memory of Christian not turning up at the hospital. Not here. Not now. 'He definitely knows I'm in London then?'

'Yes,' Kate assures me for the umpteenth time.

'But what if-'

'Ana I've mentioned it in front him,' she cuts me off. 'Multiple times.'

'Ok,' I concede. 'And he's never mentioned-'

'No Ana never,' Kate interrupts me again. I can't blame her. We have had this conversation several times. 'The family have no idea.'

'Won't Elliot be upset you never told him?'

'That's between Elliot and Christian,' she answers dismissively. I can tell that this is something that worries her, although she'll never admit it.

'Thanks Kate,' I tell her for the millionth time. She really has been the most loyal friend I could ever ask for, and much more than I have ever deserved.

'You should go home Ana,' she says after a long pause.

'I… I'm worried he might be waiting for me,' I finally admit. If Christian has made it as far as London he will definitely already know my home address and where I work.

Kate begins to laugh. And laugh. She laughs for so long I begin to become annoyed at her.

'What?' I snap eventually, demanding to be let in on the joke.

'Oh Ana, is that why you've gone so far out of your usual route?' Kate asks, trying to compose herself.

'Yes,' I reply indignantly. 'Why is that so funny?'

'Oh come on Steele,' Kate goads me.

Suddenly it hits me.

He's tracking the phone.

'I've got to go,' I all but squeak.

'Ok Steele, talk soon,' Kate replies, finally collected.

I quickly hang up. How did I forget about him tracking my phone?

I look around me frantically. He's not here. Nobody but the usual assortment of tourists and workers on their way home. I relax and give myself a quick shake and a reality check. Of course he's not tracking my phone. He's probably not even going to try and contact me while he's here. It probably is a legitimate business trip. I mean, he hasn't tried to contact me even once in the past two years. Not even when… I shake myself again and jump up quickly from the bench.

I need to get home now. I set off at double quick time, heading past the London Eye, towards Westminster and the tube station. I am striding so determinedly that I am almost halfway across the bridge before I even realise there is a large town car crawling along the curb beside me. It has darkened windows but I already know who's inside. I halt my step and it comes to a smooth stop beside me. I find myself walking towards it even before the rear passenger window rolls down.

'Need a lift?'

I can hear his smirk in his voice. Oh that voice.

I say nothing, open the back passenger door and slide onto the back seat.

'It's wonderful to see you Anastasia.'

I remain mute, and stare resolutely ahead. I can't even bring myself to look at him.

'Are you speaking Miss Steele?' he asks quietly and for the first time since I got into the car I sense a small trace of unease.

'Well uneasy you well may be Mr Grey,' I think uncharitably. No. That's not right. This isn't all his fault remember. You played your hand as well.

I take a deep breath and turn towards him.

'Hello Christian.'

Grey eyes burn into mine. A myriad of emotions sweep through me and my face betrays each one of them. Christian looks like a few of them might have flooded his mind but overall he seems genuinely pleased to see me.

'It's been a long time,' he says, as his eyes run over me from head to foot. 'You look well.'

I have just finished an eight hour work day in a stuffy office, and then taken a spontaneous two mile hike in my heels – I know what I look like. Unthinkingly I roll my eyes. He smiles at me, his eyes glinting. I can't help myself, as a familiar but long forgotten argument starts to stir in my head, it brings with it other memories and I begin to smile too.

'Thank you Christian, so do you.' And it's the truth. Christian must be nearly thirty now but there seems to be no obvious changes to his appearance from when I saw him last, aside from the fact he now seems to wear his hair a little longer. Suddenly the memory of the last time I saw Christian flashes into my mind. The bite of the belt. My whole demeanour changes and he senses it.

'Where to?' he asks still not taking his eyes from me. I glare at him.

'Where to?' he repeats.

'Christian you never did suit innocent. Do you really expect me to believe you don't already know where I live?' I say bluntly. Blunt is good. Blunt will get us through this quicker. Although Fifty never did like to do things quickly.

'I don't like to be doubted Anastasia,' he says with a chill in his voice.

'Fine,' I reply, deliberately rolling my eyes. I lean forward and tell the driver my address.

'That's very far from here,' Christian muses as the car accelerates smoothly.

'Zone six,' I concur.

'Why are you so far from home?'

'Christian,' I say as a warning. 'I don't want to play.'

He holds his hands up in defeat.

'Ok I tracked your phone,' he admits. 'But I honestly don't know your address.'

It seems to be the truth. Huh. So he hasn't been tracking my every move then. How very… un-Fifty. I feel a deep sinking feeling in my stomach. These few years I had held on to the hope that maybe he was just too hurt to contact me but now… Maybe he truly doesn't care at all. So why is he here now then?

'I wanted to see you Anastasia,' he answers my unspoken question. 'It's been too long.'

'Something we can both agree on,' I say coolly.

He seems taken aback by reaction.

'Ana I... If I've offended you I apologize. I had hoped when we…' For a moment he looks lost, and for a brief instant I reconsider my current frosty behaviour. This can't be easy for him. Even for Mr Control Freak Grey this must be a situation he never contemplated. Hell because he's Mr Control Freak Grey this would never have been a situation he would even consider. Until he met me. And I changed the whole game.

I soften my body language and he is instantly in control again.

'We need to talk. Properly. Have dinner with me tomorrow night.'

It doesn't sound like a request.

'Ok,' I say quietly and turn to stare out of the window at the passing London scenery. The first time I saw him was always going to be like this. There has been so much hurt and it seems to have only built over the years. Tomorrow I'll be more willing to listen to him, whatever ever he proposes, whatever his excuse is…

We sit in silence for the rest of the journey, both staring resolutely out opposite windows. We're nearly at my apartment before I begin to feel it. There it is. Under all of my pain, my guilt, my grief, it is still there. The electricity.

He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. I can feel my body begin to betray me.

'Can you stop here?' I say loud enough for the driver to hear me, looking directly at Christian. The car pulls over and Christian lets go of my hand.

'This isn't your place,' he observes.

'I have to pick something up,' I say pointedly.

'We'll take you –'

'No Christian,' I say firmly. 'I will meet you tomorrow. We will talk then.'

'I'll send a car.' I can tell he's angry but at least he doesn't try to force me to stay.

'Tomorrow,' I promise as I step out of the car.

'Tomorrow.'

I stand and watch as the car pulls off, drives straight down the street and turns right. I can't afford for him to follow me right now. He cannot have this part of my life. Not yet. I set off in the opposite direction and walk past the next three streets before I reach my destination.

As I enter the brightly coloured doorway I notice that the building is almost empty.

'I am so sorry,' I say to the sole nursery worker left. 'I got caught up at the office,' I lie.

'No problem, Miss Steele,' she says with a weary smile. 'He's been an angel all day but I think he's starting to get tired.'

She gestures toward a large mat in the middle of the room where my sleepy soldier is starting to get a bit teary.

'Awh sweetheart.'

He clocks me and begins to cry in earnest. I rush to him and sweep him up in my arms.

'It's ok sweetie, it's ok, mommy's here,' I reassure him, and he begins to settle. I stare down at my copper haired baby boy and for the first time in his live I realise I can tell him- 'Daddy's here.'