Disclaimer: I don't own Frozen
Thanks to JE Glass for allowing the cameo of her wonderful OC, Revel Handler.
Pin My Wings
[C130 rollin' down the strip]
.
Anna squirmed in her seat as the C130 Hercules rumbled down the runway. She couldn't squirm much, not in the narrow web seat with her right shoulder mashed against the guy next to her, her main chute on her back and her reserve across her chest, and her knees pressed painfully into those of the soldier across from her. And she'd thought spending three hours in the rigging shed was bad. Three minutes on the aircraft and she was anxious to get off.
She took several deep breaths, fighting the slight claustrophobia caused by her restricted movement. The pungent odor of sweat and anxiety tickled her nostrils. She figured this was the Army's way of ensuring that no one chickened out on a drop. Make the airplane so uncomfortable that the jumpers couldn't wait to get out of it. If she wasn't already the first jumper, Anna thought she would probably climb over the other soldiers to get to the door.
A small privilege, being in the first seat, and the first one she'd asked for in the year since she'd left the castle.
The rumbling ceased, and Anna's stomach dipped as the plane lifted off. The roar of the four turboprops still thundered in her ears, but the bone-deep vibration ceased as soon as the Herc's wheels left the runway. She was relieved to be off the ground, and she wondered if that made her a little crazy.
Of course, Elsa thought she was a lot crazy.
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[Airborne trooper gonna take a little trip]
.
You want to do what?
Joining the military seemed perfectly logical to Anna; she was just the spare, after all. So what if she was technically the Crown Princess and Elsa's heir? She needed to do something to serve Arendelle. Something other than charities, entertaining dignitaries, and very occasionally, representing Elsa abroad. Not that these weren't important, but Anna wanted more.
Besides, she wouldn't be heir forever. Elsa was still young, with plenty of time to find a suitable man, marry, and produce an heir of her own body. Not that she'd shown any inclination to do so, but still.
Anna, why on earth would you want to do that?
I want to do something. There's plenty of precedence. Look at Prince Harry. He was a serving officer for almost ten years.
That's different. He's down to what, fifth in line now?
Don't even go there. William and Frederik both served. So did Victoria, for that matter. We have compulsory service, Elsa. I'm twenty-one years old, I should be doing this already! Why am I exempt?
You know why.
That was a long time ago.
Not long enough.
When, then? When is long enough, Elsa?!
When I say it is!
You can't shelter me forever!
Ice crackled across the floor; snow swirled about Elsa's office, which seemed to be the only room in the castle where Anna saw her anymore. And then only by appointment, Anna thought bitterly. Accusations were thrown about, hurtful words exchanged. Anna stormed out. Elsa couldn't stop her, not legally anyway. Physically, yes, but Anna was willing to bet her sister wouldn't go that far. And she was right.
What she hadn't counted on was the silence in her wake.
.
[Mission unspoken, destination unknown]
.
She figured Elsa would get over it.
Anna bulled ahead with her plan, slogging her way through the Krigsskolen. She was abysmal at some things (room inspections, go figure) and exceptional at others (marksmanship, much to her surprise), but found an odd sort of satisfaction in simply being Cadet Anna Arendelle, rather than Her Royal Highness The Crown Princess Anna, Duchess of Froststal, etc, etc, etc.
She discovered a reservoir of inner toughness that she never knew she had. A well to tap when she was cold or hungry or exhausted. When she faced yet another muddy hillside while teetering under an eighty-pound pack, or stared across the combatives pit at a hulking man more than twice her size.
(She'd won that fight too, and given a gleeful, blow-by-blow account of it to Revel over the phone as she waited for her broken nose to be set.)
The soft, pampered princess that had entered the Krigsskolen had beaten a hasty retreat.
Yet the silence stretched on. Unanswered letters, unacknowledged texts, calls that went straight to voice mail. Oh, Anna wasn't completely cut off - there were always goody boxes from Gerda, encouraging texts from Revel, and letters from Kai filled with the latest castle gossip - but there was nothing from the one person whose acknowledgement she wanted most.
Graduation was bittersweet. Kai and Gerda pinned her second lieutenant bars for her. The media took conspicuous notice of the Queen's absence.
.
[Don't even know if she's ever comin' home]
.
Anna headed off to parachute training school. She buried her pain in the sawdust pits, where she wasn't even Second Lieutenant Arendelle, but roster number Alpha Two-Six; where she and the other 'legs' performed endless numbers of pushups and flutter kicks; where they threw themselves repeatedly to the ground to practice parachute landings, leaped from towers mocked up as aircraft, all under the sadistic oversight of the Black Hats, NCO instructors who showered them with spittle and invectives.
You might be an officer out there, Alpha Two-Six, but in here you're just another dirty leg. Now get in the front leaning rest!
Yes, sergeant! How many, sergeant?
Until I get tired!
Anna spent more time in the front leaning rest position than she did on her feet.
.
[Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door]
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"TEN MINUTES!" the jumpmaster yelled, holding up both hands.
"TEN MINUTES, TEN MINUTES!" the trainees echoed.
Butterflies flapped in Anna's stomach, and her knees bounced in a fidgety dance that earned her a glare from the soldier across from her. What was his name again? Borgman? Bjorgman? She couldn't see his nametag, and honestly, in their fatigues and buzz cuts, all the guys looked alike anyway. Only this one's mass distinguished him from all the others; he looked even more uncomfortable than she felt. She gave him a sheepish smile and stilled her knees, but seconds later, her fingers were drumming along the sides of her reserve chute.
"Get ready!" came the next command.
Moment of truth. I'm getting ready to voluntarily exit an airplane that's still in flight. She didn't have to do it. She could get the jumpmaster's attention, he would move her up to a seat behind the cockpit, and she could leave the plane in a normal manner - that is, when it landed safely back at the airfield.
Then she would do the Duffle Bag Drag, the walk of shame from Paratrooper Training Company to the holding company, home of the failures and dropouts.
Nope, not happening. She was ready.
I was born ready!
"OUTBOARD PERSONNEL, STAND UP!" The jumpmaster gestured upward in a sweeping motion with both arms.
Anna struggled to stand, the bulky equipment and tight leg straps hindering her movement. Just when she'd made it to her feet, the plane bucked, throwing her on top of Borgman (Bjorgman?). Her Kevlar helmet clonked against his, and he scowled. Her face heated up as she tried to get off him. He helped by giving her a big shove, which nearly launched her back into her seat. She finally managed to get herself more or less upright, spreading her feet apart to keep her balance.
"INBOARD PERSONNEL, STAND UP!"
Now all the jumpers crammed in a tight line, and the breathing room she'd enjoyed for a brief second was gone. At least she was in front, with only Borgman (no, it was definitely Bjorgman) mashed up against her back, instead of being pinched in between two other jumpers.
"HOOK UP!" the jump master commanded, holding up both hands with his index and middle fingers crooked.
Anna reached up, trying to get the hook of the narrow yellow static line around the anchor cable over her head. Bouncing and rolling right along with the aircraft, she finally managed to time it right, and felt the static line's snaplink click into place. She gave it a quick tug to make sure it was secure.
"CHECK STATIC LINES!"
Anna ran her hand along the static line from the hook all the way to where it routed over her right shoulder. She would have to trust Bjorgman to check it from there to where it zig-zagged over the back of her chute, ending at the deployment bag that would pull the chute out when she jumped. She looped a four-inch bight into the line and squeezed it in her fist.
"CHECK EQUIPMENT!"
Anna traced her free hand over her helmet chin strap and parachute straps. All okay. Quick release clips all properly fastened. She could feel Bjorgman patting along her chute, checking the back for her. All was correct, as it had been when she donned the equipment hours ago, as it had been when she shuffled aboard the plane.
"SOUND OFF FOR EQUIPMENT CHECK!" the jump master bellowed, cupping his hands behind his ears.
Shouts of 'OK, OK, OK' made their way forward, and when Anna felt Bjorgman's slap on her shoulder and heard his 'OK!' in her ear, she stuck out her left hand and yelled, "ALL OK, JUMPMASTER!" The jumpmaster slapped her hand in acknowledgement.
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[Jump on out and count to four]
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The pitch of the engines changed, and she felt the dip in altitude as they approached the drop zone. The plane continued to pitch and yaw, if anything it was getting worse, as if the paratrooper gods had decided to order up extra turbulence just to torment them. Anna's stomach rolled in rhythm with it. She was surprised no one had gotten -
And then it hit her - the fetid odor of vomit, followed by the retching sounds of sympathetic reactions up and down the plane. There was splash near her feet, and her stomach threatened to rebel. Anna gulped air through her mouth, trying desperately not to add to the mess.
Then the jump door was open, bringing the roar inside the aircraft to an almost deafening pitch. The rushing air swept away the stench, and Anna gripped her static line tighter, the roil of nausea in her stomach quickly replaced by a million hyperactive butterflies as she watched the jump master lean out the open door and look around.
The jump master stepped back and held up his index fingers. "ONE MINUTE!"
"ONE MINUTE!"
Sweat rolled down Anna's back despite the rush of air from the open door. She bounced on the balls of her feet, her heart skipping a beat when the jumpmaster locked eyes with her and commanded, "STAND BY!"
She shuffled forward, handed off her static line to him and pivoted to face the door, placing one foot out on the jump platform. The engines roared, the wind howled, but all Anna could hear was her heart pounding in her ears as she watched the ground rush by, twelve hundred feet below. Then there was a slap on her butt and a shout of 'GO!' in her ear.
Anna leaped.
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[If my main don't open wide, I got a reserve by my side]
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Muscle memory from the previous weeks of repetitive drilling kicked in. Chin on her chest, elbows in tight, feet and knees locked together. She watched the ground below her boots as she counted off, "One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thou - "
WHUMP! The chute filled with air, and Anna felt as though her butt had been jerked up around her shoulders. The world spun crazily, and she saw sky and airplane beyond the toes of her boots. Then she was upright, swinging gently beneath the big round canopy.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…This is amazing!" she crowed, throwing her head back and grinning like an idiot. She lifted her hands and grabbed the parachute's riser straps above her head.
All of Arendelle seemed to be laid out for her viewing. She could see the North Mountain, the edge of the fjord, and squinting, swore she could make out the castle. Suddenly all of the indignities of the last few weeks faded away. The sweat, the aching muscles, the miles of running, the hours spent in the front leaning rest position - all worth it for this one moment, suspended weightless and free. Defying gravity. Despite the other jumpers in the air around her, right here, right now, she felt like the only person in the world.
She wished Elsa could see her.
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[If that one should fail me too, look out below 'cause I'm comin' through]
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The almost meditative peace was broken by an amplified voice: "PREPARE TO LAND, PREPARE TO LAND."
Urgh. There were Black Hats all over the drop zone, shouting commands through bullhorns. Couldn't she at least get on the ground before they started back up?
"You're headed for the trees!" shouted a voice from her left. Anna looked over and saw another jumper pointing.
Shit! She was drifting toward the trees at the edge of the drop zone. She yanked her left side risers, trying to dump air from the chute and slip away from the trees. It wasn't exactly steering, these parachutes didn't do that, but it was better than nothing. Anna looked around for the smoke pot, hoping that the wind wasn't blowing toward the trees.
No such luck.
Anna practically climbed her risers trying to move away from the trees. It was working, but the ground was coming up faster than she thought, and -
Wait, is that a pond? Seriously?! Shitshitshit... She squeezed her feet and knees together and tried to aim for the strip of ground between the trees and the water.
Her feet hit the ground right at the edge of the pond. But instead of the graceful five-point parachute landing fall (feet-calf-thigh-buttock-lat) she'd practiced endlessly, Anna's touchdown was feet, ass, and head.
Her ass and head splashed into the pond, her chute settling into the water behind her.
She pushed up out of the shallow water, spluttering but elated, and popped the quick release buckles on her chute straps. She whooped in delight as she watched other jumpers descend, their exhilarated shouts feeding her own excitement.
"GET TO THE RALLY POINT, CHERRIES. MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"
Cherries. Not legs.
I'm a paratrooper!
Anna danced a little jig as she pulled the folded kit bag from beneath her reserve chute and opened it. She dragged her main chute out of the water and stuffed it in, along with her reserve and her harness, then grabbed the handles to flip the bag into her back.
She could hardly budge it.
Crap. She strained and heaved and finally got the bag slung over her shoulders. Bent almost double, she started toward the rally point at the far side of the drop zone. She tried to trot, but it just wasn't happening. Instead she straggled across the big field, eyes on the ground, water running from her soggy pants into her boots with every step. Jesus, who knew wet silk could be so heavy?
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[If I die on the old drop zone]
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The throaty sound of a diesel engine approached, but Anna couldn't even lift her head to look, not with the two-ton kit bag pressing against the back of her helmet.
"Hey, Alpha Two-Six, are you all right?"
It was the most normal voice anyone had addressed her with in...well, forever, it seemed like, and she turned her head as best she could. There was a Black Hat, her stick's Black Hat, leaning out the passenger window of a mud-spattered Humvee.
"Yes, Sergeant! Just a wet chute, Sergeant."
He jerked his thumb toward the Humvee's cargo bed and said, "Get in the truck, cherry."
Anna almost grinned at the term cherry, but then narrowed her eyes. Was this a trick? Give her a ride back, then put her in the front leaning rest as punishment for taking a favor? Was he trying to embarrass her, single her out, make her look like a pampered princess in front of the other soldiers?
Or worse, did he think she wasn't capable of making it to the rally point on her own?
"No, thank you, Sergeant."
He glared at her. "That wasn't a request."
"I don't need a ride. I can make it myself."
"I didn't say you couldn't, cherry. Now get your ass in the truck!"
Her temper flared. "Fuck you, Sergeant. You're not going to order me to ride back when everyone else is walking, even if I do end up looking like an idiot."
They stared at each other for a minute. Anna's legs quivered. She thought that if she stood here much longer, they might give out on her. Finally he gave her a strange little half-grin and said, "Suit yourself, Lieutenant."
The Humvee roared off across the field. Anna wiggled under her load, trying in vain to get into a more comfortable position, then gave up and trudged on as fast as she could manage.
She had no idea how long it was before she staggered up to the rally point. Sighing with relief, she dumped her kit bag in the pile with the others, and turned to go find the rest of her stick.
What the hell...?
Everyone at the rally point was standing at rigid attention - the trainees, the Black Hats, and the two general officers in Class A uniforms. Her head spinning with fatigue and confusion, Anna wondered if the sergeant had already reported her for cussing him. Still, that was awfully fast to get not one, but two generals all the way out to the drop zone, and it wasn't like they needed a general to punish her, the Black Hats managed that kind of thing just fine on their own, and there were civilian men in dark suits, who had wires curling from their ears down into their jackets, and -
Wait, that looks like...
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[Box me up and ship me home]
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A tall civilian with curly brown hair turned toward her. When he lifted his sunglasses, she saw the piercing green eyes of Revel Handler, the Queen's security chief. He gave her a cocky grin.
It is, it's Revel! What is he doing here? And if he's here, that means -
"Anna!"
There was a gust of arctic air, a flash of blue dress and blonde hair, and Anna was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug, the familiar scent of winter pine and spearmint filling her nose.
"Elsa!"
Another stifling squeeze, and then Elsa had her at arm's length, holding her shoulders, running a critical eye over her body. It was the first time Anna had ever seen her sister in public looking less than perfectly put together. A few wispy tendrils of platinum blonde had escaped Elsa's elegant bun to fall around her flushed face, and mud smudged her cheek and dress from where she had hugged Anna.
Elsa shook her by the shoulders, her blue eyes wide. "Oh my God, Anna, are you crazy?!"
Anna bit her lip and smiled as she unbuckled her chin strap and let her helmet drop to the ground. "Maybe a little."
"I can't believe you just jumped out of a perfectly functional airplane!"
Now Anna grinned. "Yeah, and it was awesome. I landed in a pond, though, which kinda sucked." She gestured at the stains on Elsa's ice-blue dress and grimaced. "I got mud all over you. Sorry."
Elsa waved dismissively, then cradled Anna's face in her cool hands, thumbs stroking along Anna's cheekbones. "I've missed you, Anna," she said softly.
Anna pulled her sister back into a hug. "I've missed you too." Her breath hitched, her chest clenching up as months of concealed hurt and anger threatened to bubble to the surface. She suppressed it savagely. I will not cry, I will not cry now.
When Elsa's hand cupped the back of her head, stroking her hair, every harsh word, every biting comment she had saved for her sister for the last year just….evaporated. All that mattered was that Elsa was here, now. Anna squeezed her eyes shut, unable to keep the tears from seeping out. She took a couple of deep, shuddering breaths, burying her face in Elsa's neck until she was sure she wouldn't break down sobbing.
"Ahem. Your Majesty, Your Highness." They broke apart at the sound of Revel's voice. "The soldiers…"
Anna swiped her hand across her cheeks and looked around at all the soldiers (no, paratroopers) still standing at stiff attention. Oh. She shuffled her feet a bit, then chuckled. Nothing like a family reunion playing out in public. At least there was no press around. "Elsa, they're going to stay at attention until you tell them not too."
"Oh!" Elsa said, her face reddening a bit. She raised her voice and commanded, "Carry on with your duties, please."
The soldiers relaxed. Elsa beckoned to one of the generals, a two-star whom Anna recognized as General Thorssen, the post commander. He hurried over. "General, thank you for the escort. I'm going to take my sister back with me, if you can tell whoever needs to account for her."
"Yes, Your Majesty." He bowed.
"Elsa, I still have four jumps left! I can't go with you now, I have to - "
"Lieutenant Arendelle, a word, please?" General Thorssen said. He stepped away, jerking his head for her to follow.
Anna followed him out of Elsa's earshot and stood at attention. "Yes, sir?"
"At ease, Lieutenant."
Anna moved her feet apart, clasping her hands at the small of her back, and met his steel-gray eyes.
"Go back with Her Majesty. Report to the company at 0700 for tomorrow's jump."
"But sir!" she protested. "I can't! The other soldiers can't, it's not fair, I don't want - "
He held up his hand to cut her off. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Lieutenant," he said, not unkindly. "But no one here will think you're taking a special privilege. Do you really think that the soldiers are going to complain that the heir to the throne didn't ride back in the trucks with them? Look."
Anna followed his gaze, and saw that at least half the soldiers had their phones out and were trying to take surreptitious selfies with Elsa in the background.
Thorssen went on, "No, what they're going to do is call their families and brag all over social media that Queen Elsa was at their first jump."
Anna opened her mouth, then snapped it shut again. She'd never thought of it that way.
"And I suspect that if her sister desired it, Her Majesty might agree to attend the graduation ceremony after the last jump."
She looked up at him, surprised.
He raised his eyebrow and gave her an amused smile. "Think about it, Lieutenant. Dismissed."
"Yes, sir." She came to attention and saluted. He returned it, then walked over to speak to the Black Hats. Anna watched him for a moment, then went back to Elsa, who held out her muddy helmet for her.
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[Pin my wings upon my chest]
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"You Majesty, Your Highness." Revel gestured toward the Royal staff car parked at the edge of the road that ran behind the rally point.
Elsa linked her arm through Anna's and led her toward the car. "We'll go back to my rooms and you can shower, and we'll have some dinner."
"That sounds wonderful," Anna sighed. "Do you have chocolate? Please tell me you have chocolate."
"You really have to ask?"
Revel opened the car door for them, placing his hand on Elsa's lower back. Anna swore she saw Revel's hand slide from her sister's back down over the curve of her hip as Elsa climbed into the car. The two exchanged glances, and Anna quirked an eyebrow at Revel. He gave her an infuriatingly bland look, but his green eyes danced. Anna made a mental note to interrogate Elsa about it later.
Once they were rolling down the road away from the drop zone, Elsa said, "You look different, Anna."
"How different could I look?" Anna gestured haplessly at her filthy uniform. "I spent my entire childhood wet and muddy."
"True," Elsa laughed. "But…I think…it's in the way you carry yourself now. You look more confident, more sure of yourself." She squeezed Anna's arm. "You seem...stronger."
"Well, when you've done as many pushups as I have lately, you can't help but get stronger," Anna mumbled.
"It's a good different," Elsa assured her.
"Elsa, are you going to come out and watch the rest of my jumps?"
Her sister wrung her hands together. "I don't know. I've watched parachute drops before, but I was a nervous wreck this time, knowing that you were one of those paratroopers. I kept picturing everything that might go wrong. It didn't help that the sergeant in charge insisted on telling me everything that could go wrong. In great detail. Then when it took you so long to get back, I almost panicked. I'm just not sure I'm up to watching it again."
"You always expect the worst. You worry too much."
"When it comes to your safety, I'll probably always worry too much." Elsa studied her hands in her lap, where they twisted and squeezed together. "Anna, I'm sor - "
"No," Anna said, reaching over to cover Elsa's hands. "Don't."
Elsa raised one hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Anna's ear. "I'm so proud of you, Anna."
Warmth spread through Anna's body, and she suspected she was blushing from her neck all the way up to the tips of her ears. She grabbed Elsa's hand and threaded their fingers together. "Will you come to graduation? There's a ceremony where we get our jump wings. I'd like for you to be the one who pins my wings."
Elsa squeezed her hand. "I'd be honored, Anna," she said. "But I suspect that no one will ever really be able to pin your wings."
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[And bury me in the leaning rest]
A/N: The phrases in brackets are from a common Army running cadence.