I was struck with this retarded idea as I was watching YuGiOh Abridged. MarikXMai is total crack. There is no way in a million years that it will ever happen. But I wanted to write it because there was one line I really wanted to use. I'm not sure what I should rate this. I'm going with T but if you think it should be bumped to M let me know. Oh, and pretty much all of Mai's line's in the first half I stole from the song "Lola Wants" from the musical "Damn Yankees." Just so you know.
The large breasted woman stood in her classic purple miniskirt smiling seductively at the man who happened to be wearing just as much purple as she was. Probably more. "I always get what I aim for, and Marik, you're heart and soul is what I came for," she whispered to him.
Though he was aroused and wanted nothing more than to get under that teeny tiny, ridiculously short skirt, he refrained. "Mai, ah…listen. As much as I would love to do this right now, I don't think now is the best time. I really need to get to bed."
She ran her fingers along his arm. "Any particular place?" She pressed her form against his body. He shook violently, trying to not give in to his hormones. Mai smirked up at him. "Silly Marik, don't you know that I always get what I want. You're no exception to the rule, I'm irresistible you fool. Just give in."
She pushed her leg against his nether region, and he flushed. And he gave in. He wrapped his hands around her back and pulled her to his mouth. Mai smirked as he kissed her neck and jaw line. She'd won again. She always did.
When he woke up later, he glanced over to the form sleeping next to him. His feelings for her were complex. On one hand, he thought himself fortunate to be loved (and get laid) by the blonde vixen. But some part of him found it disturbing that she'd had such a voracious sex drive.
He shook his head. "You know Marik; I think we should take a ride." Mai suggested. Marik agreed. They both climbed out of the bed and put some suitable clothes for riding motorcycles on (b/c they both ride motorcycles). They walked out of Mai's apartment and climbed on their respective motorcycles. Mai took the lead, and Marik followed her.
Eventually, they got to the beach. They parked and hopped off. Mai grabbed Marik's hand, and the two of them walked in the dark for awhile. "Mai," Marik said, "you're beautiful. I'm sorry for what my evil self did to you back during the Battle City finals."
Mai raised an eyebrow. "You mean the time when your evil alter ego mind-raped me, thus resulting in me going all emo."
"Yep, that would be the time."
"Well, I know full well that that side of you got destroyed. And you're too cute to not do." Even though he couldn't see it, he knew she was smirking. But he also knew that anytime Mai made a sexual reference, he would be getting some, whether he wanted it or not. And it was not too long before the proceeded to do it on the beach.
Covered in sand and completely naked, the two of them got up, deciding that they would never have sex on a beach without a towel or something underneath of them ever again. It was too scratchy, the sand ended up in unpleasant places, and it gave Mai nothing to grasp (and Mai always needed something to grasp). They climbed in the water to rinse themselves off, and then put their clothes back on.
When they got back to Mai's apartment, Mai saw that she had five missed calls. Of course, they were all from Wheeler, the stupid idiot that had been too dense to realize how she felt for him, when she had, and now that he knew that she had, he wanted her. Too bad he was far too late. She ignored the calls and grabbed on to Marik's arm. "I love you," she whispered to him.
Nodded and said, "The feeling's mutual." He kissed her, and they continued into the house.
This story was stupid, short, and totally unsatisfying. But I think it's at least a little bit funny. Crack pairings are awesome. You should try one.