Ryan got home from work at around 11:30. He finally got into bed after his shower at almost midnight. It was exhausting Ryan's life, but definitely better than what it was just a few short moths ago.
Yeah a few months ago I had to worry about whether or not I was going to survive the night with my barely conscious mother chain smoking on a polyester couch, and her angry drunk boyfriend stomping around bitching trying to figure out what he should do: pass out or hit me. Now All I got to worry about is staying out of trouble, keeping my probation, doing well in a school that was unimaginable to me back in Chino and maintaining my relationship with the two most demanding people I've ever meet Marissa and Seth.
It's not that he didn't love the two of them, because he did, but they were what was really getting to him; not the physical or the intellectual strain but the emotional strain. Back in Chino he didn't have to deal with this. All this talking and forming connections and maintaining relationships kept him stretched as far as his little body would let him go.
Hell its better to be safe and over committed than be in danger and isolated.
Sure he had loved his mother and his brother but when it came to maintaining the relationships with them that was a joke. He was there, they were there it wasn't a relationship built on common interests and mutual respect it was a relationship built on blood and location.
Ryan felt guilty even thinking like this, if it wasn't for Marissa and Seth he'd be closed off, emotionally constipated, living in a group home or foster care somewhere.
Ugh I have to stop this whole train of thought now before I drive myself into an alcoholic downward spiral.
Ryan settled back against his big down pillows covered in Egyptian cotton sheets and pulled his silk/cashmere blend comforter up around his head and decided he was lucky no matter what new growing pains he was feeling.
I'm extremely lucky!
When the door to the pool house opened it stirred Ryan from his sleep. Moving his blanket down from over his eyes discretely he looked at the time. The clock next to his bed read in big red neon lights 1:52. Without moving any more Ryan contemplated what exactly was going on.
It's Wednesday, last night was the animea marathon on the Cartoon Network, so there is the possibility that who ever the fuck is sneaking into my room is a insomniac Seth looking for the latest Legion comic which is sitting on the table next to the couch . . .or . . .or its some freak sneaking into my room to rape and pillage me before cutting my throat and throwing my lifeless body into the pool, just to see what shade of pink I can turn the water. Stop it . . . don't think like that you have nothing to pillage and if you survived Juvie without meeting Bubba you can survive Newport Beach.
Before he could think anything else he smelt something odd, sugar and Vanilla.
SO the thief was baking or Ryan's been hanging out with the stoners and stopped by Mrs. Fields on the way home from the bong bash.
Ryan then felt the blankets being pulled up and someone sliding into the bed on the opposite side. Maybe it was the years spend huddled in a ball on a twin mattress that kept him clearly on one side of the giant king bed he didn't know but none the less it was a habit. That also meant that who ever was crawling in to bed with him had to slide all the way over so now was the time to act.
Before he could get his still sleepy body to move he heard a gentle whisper break the silence.
"Ryan are you awake." The now paused form said from the opposite side if his bed.
He knew that voice. He'd know it anywhere.
Marissa on a Wednesday she should be clear across town with her dad. What's wrong? She only comes to me on the weekends when she's with her mother.
"Ryan I hope you don't mind I . . .I couldn't sleep" Marissa said scooting up beside Ryan and spooning him.
Ryan laid back flat on the bed and Marissa fell right in to step scooting back to allow this.
"Of course I don't mind. Are you okay?" He asked concern and exhaustion lacing his voice.
"Yeah yeah I'm fine I just, I just wanted, I guess I was lonely." She finally finished cuddling into Ryan's arms.
Marissa loved how familiar this felt. Resting her head on Ryan's chest tangling a leg up between his, having his arms wrapped protectively, lovingly around her. Truth be told Ryan wasn't unhappy about the situation either. He always seemed to sleep sounder knowing she was there with him.
Maybe my constant worrying doesn't help me rest either.
"I get lonely too." Ryan confided pulling her closer tighter into his embrace.
I should just say it, say I love her I might feel better than, maybe than I'd feel less stress about everything. Yeah right I couldn't even tell my mother I loved her as I watched her abandon me for the second time.
Intertwined and as peaceful as they were capable of being Ryan and Marissa fell into a deep sleep. Neither of them dreamed, neither of them moved, they just recouped and repaired themselves from the day they were leaving behind and prepared them selves for the day ahead.