Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I claim no right to it. All the characters/story lines belong JKR.

A/N: This is just come random cbox musing. I do not intend for it to be a great piece of fic. I only wanted to post it because some people may enjoy it.

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-And a hush fell over the crowd-

-Only the pigeons dared stir as Hermione recounted the time the stabbed Ginny-

-Luckily there was a elephant near bye, and using it's super-elephant-powers it saved Ginny from her death-

-Then there was a parade honoring the elephant. It was painted ivory to symbolize everlasting life-

-Then it was realized that the paint was poisonous and the elephant died, leaving the citizens to riot among themselves-

The end!

-Until Ginny came and stabbed her out of revenge-

-Since the elephant was dead, Hermione had to wait for the paramedics to arrive. They took awhile so Hermione slowly slipped into a coma-

-Seeing as Ginny had "The Boy Who Lived" to cover up for her, Ginny got away scott-free-

-So everyone crowded around Hermione for a week or so worrying, but then they got bored and forgot about her, and Hermione lay there for 18 years uncared for-

-Then one day she woke up and -(skipping through boring junk) She walked up to Harry and Ginny's house hoping to be welcomed after her 18 year coma-

-She knocked on the door and jumped on Harry with a big hug when he opened it. Harry proceeded to push Hermione off and ask "Who are you you filthy pervert?!" and then he slammed the door in her face-

-Hermione was thunder-struck and didn't know where to turn, so she went to the one person she cared for above all-

-She found out that Ron had been living in the gutter due to bad investments, so she walked the streets of London hoping to spot a ginger-haired hobo-

-Luckily, Ron had been spotting for crumbs outside a nearby McDonalds, so he was found rather quickly-

-She walked up to him tear streaked and pulled him into a hug. Ron then mirrored Harry and pushed her off with a force-

-Hermione felt even worse than when Harry pushed her away. She had always loved Ron, how could he do this-

Hermione: "What the bloody Hell is wrong with you Ron?"

Ron: "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Leaving me like that for 18 years!"

Hermione: "I WAS IN A COMA DUMBARSE!"

Ron: "Yeah well you should have stayed out of it!"

Hermione: "I WAS STABBED!" HOW IS IT MY FAULT?"

Ron: "I don't know, but it is! Besides, I have a wife now."

-Suddenly a dirty and disheveled Draco comes and presents Ron with some scrap food he found-

Hermione was dumb-struck. Draco+Ron, equals,WHA-HUH!?!?

Draco: "Hey honey," He said as he kissed Ron, "I found us a feast in the Dairy Queen dumpster!"

Ron: "That's my Drakie!" Ron cooed

Ron turned to Hermione again and spit in her face

Ron: "Piss off, mudblood!"

-Ron turned back to Draco and proceeded snogging him-

-So it ended up that Hermione had no family, no friends, no money, and no job. She was determined, however, and got a job at the Quibbler working as a reporter for Luna-

-Eventually Hermione and Luna fell in love, got married, and adopted some African children-

THE END!