AN: After I finished Eclipse I just about threw my book on the ground screaming "noooo it can't end like that." I know where Edward and Bella's story will eventually take them but what was going to happen to Jacob? I know his fan club might not be as big as Edward's but I love him just the same. This is my first attempt at fanfiction so be gentle with me. I want to give a biiiig thanks to my beta, Kate Pedroso, for being so wonderful to a first-timer. (If you haven't read them then go check out her stories "The Half-Breed Diaries".) I hope you enjoy this and I'll be looking forward to reviews, good or bad. I have quite a few chapters written but if no one likes them I won't post more. Enjoy!!

I've noticed there have been a lot of hits for the first chapter and from there it dwindles...don't just read the first, continue reading. I know the first couple chapters are on the sad, contemplative side but I'm having a lot of fun with the wolves and their characters in following chapters. Keep reading, trust me, you'll enjoy it.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight Series. Stephenie, I hope I do Jacob justice.

Jacob Black

The Escape

I swore I was never going back. All I wanted to do was run, run as far away as possible to escape everyone and everything. I knew it would be difficult considering our range of communication was well over three hundred miles, but what else could I do?

I tried to concentrate on my movements, the pull of muscle, the pumping of my blood, the feel of the soft earth beneath my feet. I tried to keep my thoughts clear as the wind rushed through my shaggy fur. But just the thought of my fur reminded me of her and the night she asked my about the length. Was that really only days ago, I wondered to myself. It had been the best night of my life, hands down, as long as you excluded the fact that her leech of a boyfriend was included in the memory; but I blocked him out at the momentThe feeling of her small body beside mine, her cool, smooth skin, her soft breathing, her silky hair as I ran my fingers through it, the full lips that tasted as good as they looked… I howled as my body convulsed. It was a sound of pain, the worst kind of agony. Everything reminds me of her! I knew my running away was just a form of denial. I am going to lose her and there is nothing I can do to change that.

That single thought broke my concentration and brought me skidding to a stop, almost crashing into a large redwood right in front of me. I lay down on the damp earth, the world's largest tears running freely from my eyes. Even in my wolf form I found I was able to curl into a ball. I knew I was too upset to phase back at the moment; and even if I could, I wasn't completely sure I wanted to. I felt like I was falling to pieces. I wonder if this is what Bella felt like….I trailed off at the thought, not wanting to go any further. I couldn't stop the image running through my head though; Bella, like a ghost of her former self, clutching her arms around herself to keep from falling apart. I'd seen her like that so often and all it made me want to do was be the glue that held her together, to hold her close in my arms and make it all go away. My body seemed to convulse as the pain coursed through me. I did what I could, I tried to remind myself, willing this hurt to go away. I had put myself out there and even though I did not regret professing my love to her, and receiving hers in return, it didn't make the sharp stab of rejection disappear. Not even close.

I don't know how long I lay there wallowing in my own misery. Eventually my tears dried. I didn't know one person could shed so many tears, but I knew this wouldn't be the last time they would run. I'd cried myself into a calm, coma like state and was able to phase back. My naked human body was lying in the mud created by my river of tears. I honestly didn't care.

I finally looked up from the ground and stared at the ceiling of foliage above me. I was still in a forest but it was different than the one around home. The trees were much, much bigger and the canopy above me seemed never ending. It was so thick that I couldn't tell the time of day. I had no idea where I was at this point or where I wanted to go. I'd been running blindly for over a day, covering more ground in a shorter amount of time than any of us ever had in the past. All I knew was that I couldn't stay where I was. Just laying here would eventually risk exposure. Besides, I felt exhausted and hungry. Part of me wanted to let the ache in my belly grow, to see if it could overpower the ache in my heart.

HA! Who am I kidding, I asked myself. Nothing would ever or could ever match this. I shook my head at the thought, trying to deny the inevitable. I tried concentrating on scolding myself. Part of me did feel like an idiot for not thinking of my physical needs when I first ran. I left the house so quickly that I was now without money, without any tools, without any clothes. I'd thrown off everything I wore without a thought to the leather band around my leg.

Remembering the last time I was home brought flashes of memories. The wolves, my brothers…I can't just leave them behind. Sam must have believed the area was safe, at least for the time being, because neither he nor the others had phased during my run. I was amazingly grateful for that. I didn't know what was worse, the pity from most of them or the ridicule from the few. It was bad enough that I had to manage my own wild thoughts and feelings; adding theirs to the mix made it almost impossible to breathe.

The next thought made me return to reality. Billy. I had to go back; I didn't really have a choice. I knew my wolf brothers would never let anything happen to him, but he was still my father and I had responsibilities. I'd been taking care of him for as long as I could remember and I couldn't just leave him like this. I knew he would understand my selfishness but that didn't mean it was acceptable.

I pushed aside my physical need for rest and food. I have the rest of my life to sleep and food can wait. I pushed myself up off the ground and moved along the trail my own scent had left behind. My quick strides turned into a sprint and I flung myself into the air as the wolf inside me ripped itself out. I was going back. I told myself it wasn't for me, that it was for those I'd left behind…Billy and my Quileute brothers. A smaller, more insistent voice told me I was a liar; I was going back for her.