Cammie and Bex held each other, sobbing, a note that changed everything lying on the floor.
Cammie couldn't believe it. A lab accident? Liz...dead? It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Her young life was destined for greatness, it shouldn't have... no, couldn't have, just ended, as abruptly and quickly as a cliff. Cammie could prove it.
Every day, she would write a letter and wait. Wait for a reply. Bex didn't have the heart to break the walls of Cammie's fantasy just yet, her reprieve from the pain of their loss. She envied her for it, the denial. Wished it was her. Oh, Bex wished she had no acceptance for the truth. It would numb the pain. The pain of Liz's death. The pain of what her mind imagined she thought she deserved for letting her friend die.
Bex thought it would have been easier to slit her wrists, so she wouldn't have to deal with the overpowering flow of emotion that was drowning her.
Her thoughts of suicide were pushed away because of Cammie. Cammie, who would be the only one left. The girl who would become obsessed with letters, immersing in their false comfort and promise of a reply that would never come. The girl who would shatter into a fraction of who she was. Who would be driven insane when the truth struck its final blow.
She would have to stay strong for Cammie. The one who accused her of not caring because her emotions had become hidden behind an expressionless mask. Bex was her anchor to reality, but also the dagger that would pierce her heart and break it beyond repair by forcing Cammie out of her disbelief.
Bex would deal the final blow and then take it upon herself to save her friend. But their was no saving an unwilling girl.
Cammie distanced herself from Bex, immersing herself deeper into her letters. The bags under her eyes only got deeper from sleepless nights of writing. Her hands were black from ink. Her hand ached from pages of writing.
The letters were for Liz. Liz who couldn't have lost her life. Liz the youngest and the clumsy. Liz the fellow spy.
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Dear Liz,
Tell me you can hear me. Tell me that you're reading this and send me a message. Tell me you're alive, Liz. Tell me you're still here.
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Dear Liz,
Bex is crying her eyes out for you. She never lets me see, but I can hear her sobs at night, as quiet as she's trying to be. Bex is trying to be brave like everyone else. Except for me. I know you're not dead. You can't be gone. Friends never leave without saying goodbye.
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Dear Liz,
Today they had a memorial service for you. I think it's silly. After all, you're not really dead. I know that one day, you'll pop out of the shadows and laugh with me at the joke.
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Dear Liz,
I looked around the remains of 's lab. I found your hair bow. It's a little charred, but I'm keeping it for you. For when you come back. Because you are coming back.
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Dear Liz,
Where are you? You sure picked a good place to hide, 'cause no Gallagher Girl on this earth can find you, not in any country. I bet you're glad you fooled me at first. I really thought you were dead. But I know you're not dead. You can't be dead. You are not dead.
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Dear Liz,
Why don't you reply? I leave the letters on your bed. Every morning, they're gone. But you never write back.
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Dear Liz,
I found your letters underneath Bex's bed. Why hide them there? You should take them with you,wherever you go, so nobody else reads them.
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Dear Liz,
Bex told me you're dead. I laughed. She doesn't know. You're not dead. You're nnot. You can't be dead. You just can't. You never said goodbye.
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Dear Liz,
You're not dead. Not dead. Not dead. Can't be dead. Not. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Why? You never told me you were going to die.
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Dear Liz,
You are dead. But I won't ever believe it. You're not really dead. You're still in my heart. But you are dead. I'll nnever see you again in my life. You never even said goodbye.
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Cammie looked up from her tear-stained paper. She fled from her suite, intent on one thing. Death. She deserved it, the way she laughed about Liz dying. She didn't think about Bex. She didn't remember how good a friend she was. They were pushed farther apart when they needed each other most, letter by letter.
Cammie grabbed a knife from the kitchens. Not caring about security, she ran to the garden and leaned against the brick wall. The wanted to be a part of the world while she did this. The sunset was beautiful, but Cammie didn't notice. She was too busy cutting 'x's onto her wrists. They leaked drops of blood like the tears that ran down her cheeks.
How was she to know that the light of the sun seemed to reach down from above and into her room, and that her stack of letters disappeared into the sky?
Cammie's vision began to blur, and she felt herself becoming lightheaded from blood loss. "See you soon, Liz, "she managed weakly.
Suddenly, she was surrounded by light. The half-dead girl watched with amazement as her cuts healed under the golden glow. She swore she could hear Liz's voice on the breeze. "Thank you for believing, Cammie. Now go live your life. Have kids, be a grandma, do everything that you deserve to do. But spare one moment and sit down with another generation, and tell them about a girl you met at school named Liz. I want to be remembered. Always remember me. I will never die if I live on in your heart."
Cammie was left in the garden as the night fell. She looked up into the stars, where Liz was. She looked down to her heart, where Liz was remembered. She awaited the future, where she would live and pass on Liz's memory. She would live a long and happy life. Liz would want it that way.