*The Silence in the Night*
By Kelly
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I don't claim to and I don't make money.
Feedback is always welcome and very appreciated- dougandcarol@hotmail.com
Just a short Luby story set around Christmas of season 8.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He could feel the spirits of everyone he'd seen that afternoon in his own bones. They were all so happy, all looking forward to the holiday that he was dreading as each minute slowly passed. They would playfully giggle as they pranced along the sidewalk, all carrying large bags full of gifts that would bring happiness to others. They would bring the items to their warm homes that contained their families and wrap them in shiny paper with large bows on top. The gifts would then be placed under the decorated Christmas tree where they would wait until Christmas morning, and then be torn open as everyone in the family watched and laughed. The shock and surprise as the gifts were opened and the looks they would bring to the faces of everyone only saddened him more. It would be another year where he wasn't going to experience any of that.
It was already December 20th and he had no tree. There was no sign of Christmas in the entire apartment, except for the single strand of lights he had hung in his window. He passed a tree lot every morning on his way to work, but he'd never bothered to stop and buy one. What was the purpose of having a tree if you had no one to share it with? He would be spending Christmas alone again. There would be no one in the bed next to him when he woke up on December 25th to wrap his arms around and whisper "Good morning" or "Merry Christmas". There would be no gifts under the tree because there would be no tree, nor gifts. He wouldn't have a special dinner with all the fixings like so many of his colleagues would be having. In all honesty, he would probably end up with some form of take out for dinner.
Dropping back into the soft cushions of the couch, he allowed himself to close his eyes and rest for a moment. Peeling his shoes off with his own feet, he pulled them up to the coffee table that sat in front of him and listened to the silence that echoed around him. But the silence didn't last very long. He soon began to hear Christmas music permeating softly through the apartment walls. The First Noel played softly in his ears as he sat, knowing that next door to him lived a small family. They had moved in shortly after he had and they had a small boy that was about 3. Luka had seen him only the morning before and played a short game of who can hit the elevator button first when he'd met the family in the elevator on his way to work.
Grabbing the TV remote, he couldn't stand hearing the music any longer. Pressing the television on, he began flipping aimlessly through channels in an attempt to find something to occupy his mind. An infomercial about a pan that claimed to cook anything without it sitting on the stove, a talking hand puppet wearing a Santa suit, a movie starring Harrison Ford. Nothing looked even remotely interesting as he continued flipping and left it on a black and white film. Staring at the screen, he had no idea what he was watching until the movie went to commercial break. He knew he didn't want to watch this anymore.
It's a Wonderful Life. Of all the Christmas movies they could be running on TV, they had to run that one, and he had to sit and watch it. He didn't want to sit and watch as George and his guardian angel ran all over town; trying to see what it would be like if he'd never been born. He didn't want to see George's daughter tell him that her teacher had said, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings." But those weren't the main reasons he didn't want to watch. His main reason? It's a Wonderful Life was Abby's favorite Christmas program.
His mind went back to last year's Thanksgiving where after work, Abby had cooked dinner and then they'd both settled down on her couch and watched this movie. But that was last year, when he could wrap his arms around her, when he could smell the shampoo scent left behind in her hair. He could still remember Maggie pacing back and forth in the guest room, appearing every so often to get something from somewhere in the apartment. That was when he had someone to be with. He didn't have that anymore.
"I'm alive! I'm alive!" George screamed from the TV screen.
Luka was alive, but he didn't feel it.
He was lonely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Her shift was finally over. Pulling her locker open, Abby grabbed her black jacket from the rung and pulled it around her body, closing it tight. From her locker, she also grabbed her bag before slamming it shut and walking back into the ER. Standing still for a minute, she looked at the brightly lit Christmas lights that hung all over the place, covering the admit area, the hallways, and the Christmas tree that sat nearby. It seemed everyone around her had the Christmas spirit, that was of course, everyone but herself.
Christmas had never been her holiday, but she'd never felt so out of it as she did this year. For as long as she could remember, she'd at least felt a small twinge of excitement when Christmastime had rolled around. She would some what enjoy herself while shopping for gifts, or decorating her tree. But this year was different for some reason. Shopping hadn't been fun at all, she'd just gone and bought what she felt her friends and family would like. A scarf for Maggie, a new tool set she knew Eric wanted, some books for Chuny, and the list went on. Decorating the tree had seemed more like a chore than anything else. Her body had dragged as she strung the lights around it, and hanging ornaments felt as if it had taken years instead of only minutes.
Stepping out into the cold Chicago night, she pulled her jacket tighter around her body, and hurried up to the El station where she waiting for her train. Around her stood a large group of people; many carrying gift bags and wearing excited grins on their faces. Five days to Christmas, five days to what she felt would be hell. Everyone around her was so happy and overjoyed. They bounced happily in the cold as they chatted loudly with each other, all eager to get home and wrap the treasures they'd found during the day at various stores.
Maybe it was her mood that day she thought to herself. It hadn't been the greatest day at work. She'd watched two small girls die that afternoon; both hit head on by a truck as they played in the street near their house. She'd been the nurse who'd been left to comfort their grieving parents as their knees buckled and they fell to the floor in a fit of hysterics after hearing their daughters were dead. She'd been the shoulder an Alzheimer patient had cried on when he was so confused he had no idea who he was or where he was.
It seemed like decades but finally the El train arrived and she climbed on, regretting that she hadn't driven to work that day. She wanted to get home and curl up in her pajamas. Maybe there'd be a movie on she could watch, or she'd put a CD in the player and listen to it as she read a book. Anything seemed better than pondering that there were only 5 days left until Christmas, and she'd be spending it alone. Alone. She knew she was destined to spend the rest of her life alone. She felt she needed to get used to the fact that not only would she be alone this Christmas, but for every Christmas left to come.
"Mommy, when does Santa come?" a small boy called loudly to his mother who sat next to Abby.
"In 4 more nights." She replied, pulling him into her lap.
Those were the day's Abby use to like Christmas. Back when she was only 6 or 7 and believed that Santa came to her house and delivered presents. The days when she was too young to worry about ever being alone.
But now she was 33, and alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He couldn't watch that movie; he couldn't even watch the TV anymore. Shutting it off, Luka got up off the couch and looked around the apartment with a feeling of defeat. Christmas had beaten him, it had taken all of his energy, and he wasn't even celebrating it. Walking into the kitchen, he found the stack of mail he'd dropped there earlier and took it into his hands.
Phone bill, credit card bill, "You may already be a winner" scam, and a red envelope addressed to him. Looking curiously at it, he noticed it had no return address on it. He had no idea who it was from, he wasn't used to getting real mail in the mail. Pulling the envelope open, he took the card from it and looked at the front cover.
A large green Christmas tree was on the front, along with a small message of Merry Christmas. Opening it up, he read the message and his held his breath as he read whom it was from.
Dear Luka,
I know you weren't expecting this, neither was I really. But I saw this card and it made me think of you, I don't know why. I know the last few months have been hard for you, but if you do ever need to talk, I'll be here. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, I'll see you at work.
Abby
Holding the envelope in his hand, Luka only looked on it for a moment before breaking from his daze and setting it down on the counter. He looked away, but the sheer idea that Abby had cared enough to send him a Christmas card make his stomachache a little. But it wasn't so much a pain as a feeling of happiness. He wasn't expecting anything from her; he didn't really feel he deserved anything from her. The way he had been treating her when Nicole was around he knew wasn't right at all, but he'd been too caught up in Nicole to even take notice.
Looking back to the card, he could feel a small smile creep across his face as he reached for his coat, which he'd thrown on the counter and pulled it on. Taking the card with him, he placed it in his jacket pocket and grabbed his keys.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
God it was freezing outside. Stepping up the steps into her apartment building, Abby took hold of her bag and opened the front door, stepping into the dimly light hallway. Shaking the few flakes of snow from her hair as she stood for a moment, she looked up and saw a tall figure over near the mailboxes. His back was to her and she could barely see him, though she already knew who it was.
"Luka?" she called, moving closer to the mailboxes as he turned around. "What are you doing here?"
Turning around quickly, Luka looked down at Abby with a sheepish smile and held out a red envelope to her.
"I.." he stammered, attempting to find the right words. "This is for you." He replied, as she took the envelope into her gloved hand.
"You didn't have to get me a card." She replied, holding the envelope.
"Yes I did. You got me one." He said, pulling the card from his pocket. "Thank you."
"Your welcome." She mumbled, pulling the red envelope. "It just made me think of you.." she continued as her voice trailed off as she opened the card.
They both grew silent as she pulled the card open and began to read the message inside. Watching her nervously, Luka stuck his hands deep into his pockets as he waited for her response, whatever it may be.
"Luka.." she whispered, as she finished reading the message.
Dear Abby,
I know I haven't been treating you the way I should the past few months and I hope you'll forgive me. I should have listened to you in the first place when you warned me about Nicole, and I'm sorry about everything I said to you. You are pretty and you're very special. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do, but maybe we could have another chance at being together? I've loved you for a long time and I still do, I don't know why I never told you.
Merry Christmas,
Luka
"You don't have to say yes if you don't want to." He said, looking down at her. "But I want another chance Abby. I know we could make it work if we try."
Nodding her head slowly, Abby began chewing on her lip as one of the other tenants of the apartment building shuffled by quickly. She could hear Luka's voice breaking as he spoke to her, only cueing her in on how nervous he was.
"I want to try again." She replied, looking up at him. "Only this time we need to make it work."
"We will." he assured her, wrapping his arms around her. "We won't give up this time."
And for the first Christmas in a long time, neither of them would be alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
12/12/01
By Kelly
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I don't claim to and I don't make money.
Feedback is always welcome and very appreciated- dougandcarol@hotmail.com
Just a short Luby story set around Christmas of season 8.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He could feel the spirits of everyone he'd seen that afternoon in his own bones. They were all so happy, all looking forward to the holiday that he was dreading as each minute slowly passed. They would playfully giggle as they pranced along the sidewalk, all carrying large bags full of gifts that would bring happiness to others. They would bring the items to their warm homes that contained their families and wrap them in shiny paper with large bows on top. The gifts would then be placed under the decorated Christmas tree where they would wait until Christmas morning, and then be torn open as everyone in the family watched and laughed. The shock and surprise as the gifts were opened and the looks they would bring to the faces of everyone only saddened him more. It would be another year where he wasn't going to experience any of that.
It was already December 20th and he had no tree. There was no sign of Christmas in the entire apartment, except for the single strand of lights he had hung in his window. He passed a tree lot every morning on his way to work, but he'd never bothered to stop and buy one. What was the purpose of having a tree if you had no one to share it with? He would be spending Christmas alone again. There would be no one in the bed next to him when he woke up on December 25th to wrap his arms around and whisper "Good morning" or "Merry Christmas". There would be no gifts under the tree because there would be no tree, nor gifts. He wouldn't have a special dinner with all the fixings like so many of his colleagues would be having. In all honesty, he would probably end up with some form of take out for dinner.
Dropping back into the soft cushions of the couch, he allowed himself to close his eyes and rest for a moment. Peeling his shoes off with his own feet, he pulled them up to the coffee table that sat in front of him and listened to the silence that echoed around him. But the silence didn't last very long. He soon began to hear Christmas music permeating softly through the apartment walls. The First Noel played softly in his ears as he sat, knowing that next door to him lived a small family. They had moved in shortly after he had and they had a small boy that was about 3. Luka had seen him only the morning before and played a short game of who can hit the elevator button first when he'd met the family in the elevator on his way to work.
Grabbing the TV remote, he couldn't stand hearing the music any longer. Pressing the television on, he began flipping aimlessly through channels in an attempt to find something to occupy his mind. An infomercial about a pan that claimed to cook anything without it sitting on the stove, a talking hand puppet wearing a Santa suit, a movie starring Harrison Ford. Nothing looked even remotely interesting as he continued flipping and left it on a black and white film. Staring at the screen, he had no idea what he was watching until the movie went to commercial break. He knew he didn't want to watch this anymore.
It's a Wonderful Life. Of all the Christmas movies they could be running on TV, they had to run that one, and he had to sit and watch it. He didn't want to sit and watch as George and his guardian angel ran all over town; trying to see what it would be like if he'd never been born. He didn't want to see George's daughter tell him that her teacher had said, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings." But those weren't the main reasons he didn't want to watch. His main reason? It's a Wonderful Life was Abby's favorite Christmas program.
His mind went back to last year's Thanksgiving where after work, Abby had cooked dinner and then they'd both settled down on her couch and watched this movie. But that was last year, when he could wrap his arms around her, when he could smell the shampoo scent left behind in her hair. He could still remember Maggie pacing back and forth in the guest room, appearing every so often to get something from somewhere in the apartment. That was when he had someone to be with. He didn't have that anymore.
"I'm alive! I'm alive!" George screamed from the TV screen.
Luka was alive, but he didn't feel it.
He was lonely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Her shift was finally over. Pulling her locker open, Abby grabbed her black jacket from the rung and pulled it around her body, closing it tight. From her locker, she also grabbed her bag before slamming it shut and walking back into the ER. Standing still for a minute, she looked at the brightly lit Christmas lights that hung all over the place, covering the admit area, the hallways, and the Christmas tree that sat nearby. It seemed everyone around her had the Christmas spirit, that was of course, everyone but herself.
Christmas had never been her holiday, but she'd never felt so out of it as she did this year. For as long as she could remember, she'd at least felt a small twinge of excitement when Christmastime had rolled around. She would some what enjoy herself while shopping for gifts, or decorating her tree. But this year was different for some reason. Shopping hadn't been fun at all, she'd just gone and bought what she felt her friends and family would like. A scarf for Maggie, a new tool set she knew Eric wanted, some books for Chuny, and the list went on. Decorating the tree had seemed more like a chore than anything else. Her body had dragged as she strung the lights around it, and hanging ornaments felt as if it had taken years instead of only minutes.
Stepping out into the cold Chicago night, she pulled her jacket tighter around her body, and hurried up to the El station where she waiting for her train. Around her stood a large group of people; many carrying gift bags and wearing excited grins on their faces. Five days to Christmas, five days to what she felt would be hell. Everyone around her was so happy and overjoyed. They bounced happily in the cold as they chatted loudly with each other, all eager to get home and wrap the treasures they'd found during the day at various stores.
Maybe it was her mood that day she thought to herself. It hadn't been the greatest day at work. She'd watched two small girls die that afternoon; both hit head on by a truck as they played in the street near their house. She'd been the nurse who'd been left to comfort their grieving parents as their knees buckled and they fell to the floor in a fit of hysterics after hearing their daughters were dead. She'd been the shoulder an Alzheimer patient had cried on when he was so confused he had no idea who he was or where he was.
It seemed like decades but finally the El train arrived and she climbed on, regretting that she hadn't driven to work that day. She wanted to get home and curl up in her pajamas. Maybe there'd be a movie on she could watch, or she'd put a CD in the player and listen to it as she read a book. Anything seemed better than pondering that there were only 5 days left until Christmas, and she'd be spending it alone. Alone. She knew she was destined to spend the rest of her life alone. She felt she needed to get used to the fact that not only would she be alone this Christmas, but for every Christmas left to come.
"Mommy, when does Santa come?" a small boy called loudly to his mother who sat next to Abby.
"In 4 more nights." She replied, pulling him into her lap.
Those were the day's Abby use to like Christmas. Back when she was only 6 or 7 and believed that Santa came to her house and delivered presents. The days when she was too young to worry about ever being alone.
But now she was 33, and alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He couldn't watch that movie; he couldn't even watch the TV anymore. Shutting it off, Luka got up off the couch and looked around the apartment with a feeling of defeat. Christmas had beaten him, it had taken all of his energy, and he wasn't even celebrating it. Walking into the kitchen, he found the stack of mail he'd dropped there earlier and took it into his hands.
Phone bill, credit card bill, "You may already be a winner" scam, and a red envelope addressed to him. Looking curiously at it, he noticed it had no return address on it. He had no idea who it was from, he wasn't used to getting real mail in the mail. Pulling the envelope open, he took the card from it and looked at the front cover.
A large green Christmas tree was on the front, along with a small message of Merry Christmas. Opening it up, he read the message and his held his breath as he read whom it was from.
Dear Luka,
I know you weren't expecting this, neither was I really. But I saw this card and it made me think of you, I don't know why. I know the last few months have been hard for you, but if you do ever need to talk, I'll be here. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, I'll see you at work.
Abby
Holding the envelope in his hand, Luka only looked on it for a moment before breaking from his daze and setting it down on the counter. He looked away, but the sheer idea that Abby had cared enough to send him a Christmas card make his stomachache a little. But it wasn't so much a pain as a feeling of happiness. He wasn't expecting anything from her; he didn't really feel he deserved anything from her. The way he had been treating her when Nicole was around he knew wasn't right at all, but he'd been too caught up in Nicole to even take notice.
Looking back to the card, he could feel a small smile creep across his face as he reached for his coat, which he'd thrown on the counter and pulled it on. Taking the card with him, he placed it in his jacket pocket and grabbed his keys.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
God it was freezing outside. Stepping up the steps into her apartment building, Abby took hold of her bag and opened the front door, stepping into the dimly light hallway. Shaking the few flakes of snow from her hair as she stood for a moment, she looked up and saw a tall figure over near the mailboxes. His back was to her and she could barely see him, though she already knew who it was.
"Luka?" she called, moving closer to the mailboxes as he turned around. "What are you doing here?"
Turning around quickly, Luka looked down at Abby with a sheepish smile and held out a red envelope to her.
"I.." he stammered, attempting to find the right words. "This is for you." He replied, as she took the envelope into her gloved hand.
"You didn't have to get me a card." She replied, holding the envelope.
"Yes I did. You got me one." He said, pulling the card from his pocket. "Thank you."
"Your welcome." She mumbled, pulling the red envelope. "It just made me think of you.." she continued as her voice trailed off as she opened the card.
They both grew silent as she pulled the card open and began to read the message inside. Watching her nervously, Luka stuck his hands deep into his pockets as he waited for her response, whatever it may be.
"Luka.." she whispered, as she finished reading the message.
Dear Abby,
I know I haven't been treating you the way I should the past few months and I hope you'll forgive me. I should have listened to you in the first place when you warned me about Nicole, and I'm sorry about everything I said to you. You are pretty and you're very special. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do, but maybe we could have another chance at being together? I've loved you for a long time and I still do, I don't know why I never told you.
Merry Christmas,
Luka
"You don't have to say yes if you don't want to." He said, looking down at her. "But I want another chance Abby. I know we could make it work if we try."
Nodding her head slowly, Abby began chewing on her lip as one of the other tenants of the apartment building shuffled by quickly. She could hear Luka's voice breaking as he spoke to her, only cueing her in on how nervous he was.
"I want to try again." She replied, looking up at him. "Only this time we need to make it work."
"We will." he assured her, wrapping his arms around her. "We won't give up this time."
And for the first Christmas in a long time, neither of them would be alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
12/12/01