HARRY POTTER and the HARRY POTTER
(Weird title, eh? But you are interested, aren't you? Don't lie ;))
Chapter One (I'm excited!): VOLDEMORT'S PLAN
Voldemort, (you know, that evil guy with the ugly head, the red eyes, and the slits for nose …) plonked himself down on his 'throne' and clicked his fingers. A snake suddenly appeared at his side.
'Hello, Nagini,' Voldemort hissed, 'feeling hungry?'
Nagini nodded, hissing.
'Right. I'll feed you now then. Nungina!' he cried. A human head appeared out of nowhere right in front of the awaiting snake. Hissing in delight, Nagini dug right into its meal.
Voldemort sniggered in approval.
'WORMTAIL!' Voldemort then cried.
A second later, the door to the room opened and a chubby nervous man with a steel fist waddled into the room.
'Y-yes sir?' he murmured, bending down on his knee, and then getting up again.
'I feel annoyed,' Voldemort replied.
'D-don't we all, sir!' answered Wormtail.
The evil dark lord nodded. 'And do you know why I'm annoyed?'
'P-please tell me, master.'
'Because, Wormtail, a certain scarred child escaped from me a year ago, when I had him in my grip. And that annoys me, so very, very much.'
'M-me too, master.'
'And I don't want that little *beep* to live much longer. Every day I live, I hate Harry Potter more and more, every moment of the days that go by.'
Wormtail nodded.
'And so, to get rid of this annoying, everyday gritting feeling, knowing that the boy who thwarted me still lives, I have conducted a plan. A plan to capture Harry Potter, torture him, and then eventually kill him, in front of all his friends.'
'Goodie!' Wormtail muttered. 'What's the plan?'
'The plan, my dear servant, is simple enough. And here it is –'
Voldemort whispered Wormtail the plan.
'What's that sir?' asked Wormtail. 'Sorry – I didn't hear you.'
Voldemort sighed. 'Basically, I'm going to disguise myself as a teacher, and teach at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for DATDA. (Defence Against The Dark Arts.) And then, after a while, I shall …' BOM, BOM BOOOOM '…take over the school!'
Wormtail clapped and cheered. 'Marvellous plan, mas-master.'
'Isn't it,' grinned Voldemort, his red eyes flashing. 'I shall have to get to work at once. Put an ad in the paper. Dumbledore will read the ad, and then hire me. And then I will go to Hogwarts on the school train, along with the other children. I will find Harry Potter, and, and get to know him … befriend him. So he wouldn't suspect that I would be the one taking over the school! Mwahahahahahahahahahah!'
'Ingenious,' Wormtail sighed. 'Wish I thought of that.'
Voldemort stood up. 'Wormtail, this is a great day for all evil. Now, let's get to work. I don't want Harry Potter to live to be 17!
(Weird title, eh? But you are interested, aren't you? Don't lie ;))
Chapter One (I'm excited!): VOLDEMORT'S PLAN
Voldemort, (you know, that evil guy with the ugly head, the red eyes, and the slits for nose …) plonked himself down on his 'throne' and clicked his fingers. A snake suddenly appeared at his side.
'Hello, Nagini,' Voldemort hissed, 'feeling hungry?'
Nagini nodded, hissing.
'Right. I'll feed you now then. Nungina!' he cried. A human head appeared out of nowhere right in front of the awaiting snake. Hissing in delight, Nagini dug right into its meal.
Voldemort sniggered in approval.
'WORMTAIL!' Voldemort then cried.
A second later, the door to the room opened and a chubby nervous man with a steel fist waddled into the room.
'Y-yes sir?' he murmured, bending down on his knee, and then getting up again.
'I feel annoyed,' Voldemort replied.
'D-don't we all, sir!' answered Wormtail.
The evil dark lord nodded. 'And do you know why I'm annoyed?'
'P-please tell me, master.'
'Because, Wormtail, a certain scarred child escaped from me a year ago, when I had him in my grip. And that annoys me, so very, very much.'
'M-me too, master.'
'And I don't want that little *beep* to live much longer. Every day I live, I hate Harry Potter more and more, every moment of the days that go by.'
Wormtail nodded.
'And so, to get rid of this annoying, everyday gritting feeling, knowing that the boy who thwarted me still lives, I have conducted a plan. A plan to capture Harry Potter, torture him, and then eventually kill him, in front of all his friends.'
'Goodie!' Wormtail muttered. 'What's the plan?'
'The plan, my dear servant, is simple enough. And here it is –'
Voldemort whispered Wormtail the plan.
'What's that sir?' asked Wormtail. 'Sorry – I didn't hear you.'
Voldemort sighed. 'Basically, I'm going to disguise myself as a teacher, and teach at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for DATDA. (Defence Against The Dark Arts.) And then, after a while, I shall …' BOM, BOM BOOOOM '…take over the school!'
Wormtail clapped and cheered. 'Marvellous plan, mas-master.'
'Isn't it,' grinned Voldemort, his red eyes flashing. 'I shall have to get to work at once. Put an ad in the paper. Dumbledore will read the ad, and then hire me. And then I will go to Hogwarts on the school train, along with the other children. I will find Harry Potter, and, and get to know him … befriend him. So he wouldn't suspect that I would be the one taking over the school! Mwahahahahahahahahahah!'
'Ingenious,' Wormtail sighed. 'Wish I thought of that.'
Voldemort stood up. 'Wormtail, this is a great day for all evil. Now, let's get to work. I don't want Harry Potter to live to be 17!