AN: I did this without beta and without a real plan, so I'm just going to sort of...go with it, I guess. I've written all of Hana's posts, so I'll be posting those weekly. Please review! ^ ^

The Fault in Our Stories- The Story of Hazel and Augustus from an Outsider's Perspective

Part 1/3

Hana Inakawa Schmidt

The first thing I thought when I set eyes on Augustus Waters was something along the lines of 'if that isn't the most attractive person on Earth-.' I don't know how I would have finished that sentence because at that moment, he opened his mouth and revealed himself to be friends with Isaac, whom I sort of despise. Good thing, too, since he turned out to be the most pretentious asshole to ever walk the Earth. Honestly, the whole bunch of them: Hazel, Isaac and Augustus- they're all really, really annoying people.

I first met Isaac at one of the cancer support meetings. Or, not really cancer, but life-threatening-illness support meetings. I have a form of hydrocephalus. He, for the most part, looked disease-free, but that didn't say a lot. If I weren't in a wheelchair, I too would look able. I had learned not to judge based on appearances early.

But Isaac seemed approachable at first. He seemed bored. Just like the rest of us. Really, until Hazel showed up, he was just one of us. Bored, terminally ill, and quiet.

And then Hazel Grace Lancaster shows up. The rest of us, we're dressed in sweats, a hoodie, whatever's comfortable. No judgements here- why not be comfortable, if we may or may not die at any given time? She shows up in, like, clothing. An outfit with matching colors. Makeup. So, okay. She dresses a little too nice, but, okay. She came from college (or so she said). Good for her! Of course she would want to look nice for classes.

In her autobiography (honestly, it's a how-I-met-Augustus-ography, to be more honest) The Fault in Our Stars she talks a lot about how the preacher was boring as hell.

I would like to take a moment to confirm this.

I would also like to take a moment to say that I'm an atheist so the only reason I'm even attending the support group meetings is so I won't die of embarrassment every time either stares, or averts their eyes, or talks to my mother instead of me, etc. Because here, we understood, even if we didn't talk to each other, that we were people.

And then the eye-rolling and the sighs start.

I don't know who it was that initiated it, but my bet is that it was Hazel. Every time the preacher would say something ridiculous, or talk about his own struggles with cancer (god, I hate that. Disease isn't a battle. You just sit there and take it- there isn't a lot you do. Just to clear it up) Hazel would roll her eyes. Or sigh. Loudly.

In her book, she describes it as being a discreet code or whatever- "sigh ever so slightly".

That's a lie. Every time they would roll their eyes at each other, I felt like throwing up. More than I usually do, I mean. Ever since a surgery I had when I was 12, I've only been able to go a couple days without vomiting. Yay.

I swear, the preacher guy knew. Hell, I bet they could hear their secret little sighs in the Arctic. The penguins probably were sick of Hazel Grace Lancaster. One has to sigh pretty loudly to be heard from the other side of the circle, after all.

Hazel was, by the way, extremely pretty. Despite hamster-cheeks, or however she said it, she was very attractive. She had a good figure and if she wasn't prone to death, she would be the sort of person I would date. That would be based solely on appearance. I would never go out with anyone with that sort of personality. Jesus.

And then Isaac's girlfriend, Monique, or whatever-her-name-is would show up and they would eat each other's faces off while Hazel would kind of glare at them. She had no need to be so judgmental. But being Hazel, she was.

I think she was jealous of able people. Jealous that they could run, and jump, and join sports teams or debate teams or clubs and flirt and do whatever they wanted while she would have sit out on the bleachers making sure she didn't drown herself in fluid. So am I. Who isn't?

But Hazel was a very selfish person, and she gave -1 thoughts about how literally everyone in the same room felt the same way. Honestly, I think she looked down on us for reminding her that she, too, was disabled.

So I sort of felt sorry for her, in a way.