It had been years since the order had met for the last time. Actually, it hadn't been necessary until some weeks ago, until poor Cedric Diggory was murdered by the dark Lord. Albus Dumbledore, principal of Hogwarts and greatest wizard of his time, saw this as sign to call back together the so called Order of the Phoenix - a group of people who had committed themselves to bring an end to Lord Voldemort's cruel reign.
One of them was Remus Lupin, a werewolf. He owned Dumbledore a lot, because, even if werewolves weren't exactly welcome in society, the old wizard had given Remus one chance after the other. He had made it possible for him to have a home in Hogwarts, twice even, had given him the chance to teach kids about dark arts. Then, after the school year, he had helped him to find a new job. As an unofficial auror and undercover spy, he was working for the Order now.
And the werewolf had never thought that, one day, he would be totally smitten.
Completely enchanted by a woman.
Madly in love with a young witch.
And that was how it started.
It was a rainy day as the Order was convened again, this time in Sirius Black's house. Last time it had been the basement of the Longbottoms, which, of course, was impossible now, so Sirius had offered the old house as an accommodation.
The members of the Order, not even half as much as last time, sat around the table, already thinking of a plan to make the dark Lord fall, as a loud crash reached their ears and Sirius' mother behind the curtain started scolding and nagging as they had heard her several times before.
"So sorry, I'm so super sorry," called a female voice, on which Mad-Eye Moody rose his eyebrows.
"Is that - Miss Tonks, is that you?"
And only seconds later a young woman stood in the door frame, grinning widely. Her face was framed by pink hair and built a perfect but surreal contrast to her brown eyes. Also her dark eyebrows showed that her natural hair colour couldn't be pink.
She fascinated Remus from the very beginning, not only because she looked like a younger, nicer and more beautiful version of Bellatrix Lestrange.
And her mischievous smile fascinated him even more.
"Hello together. My name is Tonks and I'm new here."
"Tonks!" Mad-Eye growled and pulled the young woman into a short and not very Moody-like hug. "You made it?"
"Totally, Sir! Without your help I wouldn't have, though. I owe you big." She smiled into the round, causing Remus to swallow. "I wasn't old enough last time I applied. But now I'm 21 and allowed to join. I'm pretty clumsy but I can pull myself together when it comes to observing, which I can do very well, by the way. Ask Mad-Eye!"
"Its true," the auror answered. "The part that she's clumsy."
"Hey!" Tonks complained and crossed her arms.
Everyone besides Remus laughed (and Snape, who, of course never laughed).
"Enough now," the auror scolded. "Tonks, take a seat next to Molly Weasley. That's the redhead over there."
Remus followed Tonks with his eyes, how she crossed the table and sat down next to Molly.
Why was his heart beating so fast?
Why was he breathing quicker than usual?
Why were his hands sweaty?
Remus didn't know.
He thought of it for days and weeks, the reason why his breath got caught whenever Tonks was close. Why he couldn't talk when she was next to him. And why he couldn't look at her ... Why he feared her looking at him. What did she think of him? Did she like him? Did she think he was old and ugly, just as everyone else?
He caught her looking at him sometimes.
He wondered why but didn't dare to ask.
One day he was the first one to enter the headquarter - besides Sirius of course.
Sirius left the room though, as the next person entered the hall.
Because it was no one else than Nymphadora Tonks.
And because Sirius had noticed the looks they gave each other.
"Hi!" Tonks called as she entered. "How are you, guys - where are you going, Sirius?"
"Checking on Kreacher," Sirius replied with a grin and closed the door behind him.
"Well then," Tonks said. "It's only us two for the beginning."
Remus nodded, his eyes fixing the door.
"You know," Tonks continued and sat down. "I've wanted to talk to you for a while already." She waited for Remus to look at her but didn't wait for an answer. "I'm curious about your story."
"Which story?" Remus asked without thinking and Tonks rose an eyebrow at him.
"Uh - the story of how you became a werewolf!"
"Oh." Remus looked down. "I ... I didn't know that you knew ..."
"Who doesn't know?" Tonks said. She didn't sound pitiful, like others usually sounded whenever they started talking about his werewolf being. "But forgive me my curiosity. I know I shouldn't have asked you like that, it's impolite. I'm not only clumsy when it comes to my surroundings, I'm also clumsy with people."
"I'm sure that's not true," Remus said with a smile.
"No, it's true. People think I'm good with people but I'm not. I just talk a lot and most of those times I simply can't control what I'm saying, so I'm blabbing and blabbing until someone finally shuts me up."
Remus had to smile. "I like it when you're blabbing."
"Really?" Tonks looked at him in surprise. "Wow, a first. Even my mother tells me it would be better not to talk sometimes."
"You're just talkative. That's not a crime," Remus said and his heart almost stopped as Tonks sat down next to him. She always sat next to Molly, while he always sat between Sirius and Arthur. What was she up to?
"Talkative. Could be. Or I'm just blabbing when I'm nervous. Or unsure." She smiled.
"You have no reason to be nervous or unsure," Remus insisted and caught her cheeks blushing immediately. His heart jumped. "You are ... a great witch and -"
And exactly that time the door opened and Molly and Arthur came in, causing Tonks to stand up and sit down on her usual chair, leaving back a strange feeling of emptiness inside Remus.
Tonks was curious. She was - what?
A great witch and what else?
She was sitting on pins and needles, trying to catch his gaze during the meeting all the time.
But he didn't look at her for a single time.
Not even as she talked, nothing.
She grew impatient and scared. Didn't he like her? But why would he say that she was a great witch (and something else)?
As soon as the meeting ended she had decided to stand up and walk up to him, asking him for a word. But when it was time, he was faster.
"I need to leave," she heard him say to Arthur.
"Oh, pity. Will you come for dinner tonight?" Arthur asked. "Molly always makes way too much since Percy ... you know."
"May I?" Remus replied, sounding touched.
"Of course!" Arthur replied. "We'll be waiting."
As Remus had left, Tonks turned to Molly. "That will sound really strange now, but could I -" she started, got interrupted by Molly though.
"Join dinner tonight? Of course. I'm always cooking too much."
"Great, thank you. I owe you, Molly. I'd like to invite you for dinner too one day but I really can't cook."
"Oh, dear," Molly laughed. "If you want to, you can come earlier and help me."
"Uhh, not a good idea. You know how clumsy I am. But I'd like to try."
Said, done. Tonks arrived earlier, really trying to help Molly. But after breaking two plates, Molly kindly asked her just to stir the soup.
"Who else is coming tonight?" Tonks asked after counting six plates.
"Remus," Molly answered. "Arthur invited him because the days before full moon he rarely eats. We kind of started looking after him a bit."
"Oh ... he doesn't have a wife to do so?" Tonks asked without looking at the ginger witch.
"No. He thinks he's not worth it ... and that no one could ever love him. Because of his ... problem." Molly sighed. "If he could only see himself the way others do ..."
"I agree. He's a wonderful person," Tonks answered and Molly smiled at her.
"He is indeed. He helped Harry, Ron and Hermione through their third year. Poor them ... I've heard their teacher this year would be someone of the ministry. Arthur sounded not too pleased as he told me."
"Wow, now I really want to know who it might be," Tonks sighed. "So tonight it's you, me, Arthur and Remus -"
"And Ginny and Ron of course. Fred and George now rarely come for dinner and Percy ..." she went quiet.
"I know," Tonks mumbled.
She didn't know what happened between Molly, Arthur and their son but she knew that no one talked about it.
Remus Lupin stopped dead in his tracks as he entered and immediately spotted her.
She wasn't hard to overlook, her pink hair really stood out.
All of a sudden he felt unwell, even more than usual. Why was she here?
"Hey, Remus!" she called and waved. "Sit down over here!"
Remus didn't know why but he followed her call, sitting down next to her.
"I can't cook, so Molly invited me," she explained in a cheerful tone. "And you? Can't you cook either?"
Remus laughed. "I can cook, actually. But I - uhm - I always eat here the days before full moon. I don't have any strength during that time."
"Oh. That time of the month, eh? I know that," Tonks joked.
"I don't think so," Remus replied immediately. "You don't have to go through my pain."
"Oh, you don't have to go through my pain, so let's not fight about that."
Remus chuckled. Why was it so easy to discuss with her? Easy to talk to her? Yes, he felt unwell whenever he looked at her, but as soon as they started to talk ... all was well. And he even forgot about his problem for a while.
At least, when talking to her, he didn't mind about his problem that much anymore.
After the main dish, Remus stood up. "Molly, Arthur, thanks a lot for the food. I gotta go now."
"Aren't you staying for dessert?" Molly asked. "I made chocolate fudge cake, I thought you loved that!"
"I do," Remus replied with a smile. "But I'm totally stuffed."
"Okay, then I'll spare a piece and bring it to you tomorrow," Molly replied. Her eyes went wide as Tonks stood up as well.
"Do the same for me, please. I really need to return home now, too. Thanks for the food." She looked at Ginny. "See ya tomorrow, Gin!"
"See ya!" Ginny called back. She and Tonks had grown to be best friends during the last weeks.
And Tonks followed Remus outside. "Wait for me!"
"Why are you leaving too, Nymphadora?" he asked as they left the house.
"Because I wanted to talk to you. And don't ever call me Nymphadora," Tonks said strictly and Remus laughed.
"You're quite direct ..."
"Other than you," Tonks replied. "What did you want to say this afternoon? I'm a great witch - and?"
"Charming," Remus said without looking at her. "And funny and really, really beautiful."
"Wow," Tonks whispered and now looked away as well as she felt her cheeks turn dark red. She was so taken aback that she didn't even hear Remus disapparate. "Remus ... I really like you. You are so much more than you think you are, shy but so loving ... And I'd like to know you better." Now she looked up, just to see that he was gone. "Damn," she mumbled.
Remus Lupin sat on his sofa.
His heart was racing and his hands were shaking.
Had he just really told Nymphadora Tonks, who was thirteen years younger than him, beautiful and definitely deserved someone better than him, that she was charming, funny and beautiful?
Was he out of his mind?