Title: Angel of the Morning
Author: imaginary_witness
Pairings: Eruri
Characters: Erwin Smith, Levi
Ratings: T
Warnings: None
Genre: Alt. Universe, Comfort, Romance, Songfic,
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story: living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
Author's Notes: This was originally an idea half-written years ago for a different pairing. Edited and completed, I changed the pairing to one that I adore and felt fits the story better. Alt universe in which Erwin and Levi reside in a Catholic orphanage. Hinted that Levi is malnourished, but it isn't focused on. Reviews are always welcome.
Prelude:
'So perfect he lay, his breathing perfect and even. His chest rises and falls in such a slow, rhythmic flow, up, down, up, then down again. His hair is splayed out behind him, jet black and choppy, and his silver eyes were closed. I can't take my eyes off him. His lashes curved skywards, just as his lips. He's happy, and I'm happy that he is. I knew from that look at dinner, when he got my note under his plate, that I had found the way into his heart. Long after I'd been in his eyes.' - Erwin
Somewhere a clock tolls midnight but neither of the young men move, save only the rise and fall of the smaller man's chest. The blonde gazes up and down his slender body. Small flashes of his skin are exposed, pale where his clothing parted. But in another significant way, they're both completely exposed now after their affair. They both are. Vulnerable.
"Somehow, you've made a man of me in more ways than one." The blonde breathed in a soft voice that cut through the crisp night air. "Beneath the altar, with his Holiness gazing down on us, I am free to love you. I hope God would judge me correctly for this act, calling you here and mixing together - in ways two boys, no men, shouldn't. But I no longer fear the penalties. Being expelled or shipped off, would mean being free to go wherever, whenever with you. I hope that's one of the reasons you're smiling, I just am because you are."
The blonde traces the smaller man's face from temple to jaw, noticing how he blushes. His existence of manhood twitches slightly, though spent, and his breathing misses a note. The dark-haired man says nothing. He moves to tilt his face so that his cheek fits into the curve of his lover's palm. His silver eyes are open now, bright and full of warmth, as he listens to the blonde.
"You are my angel, only God's grace could have sent you to me. I would be committing treason and deceit if I were to hold back my feelings for you. And my angel, so peaceful before the Lord's table, must open his wings and once more, dance for me, until the morn."
The darkness in the Sanctuary creates a different, more personal mood. This building no longer feels public or dutiful. The morning's light resembles the glow of the candles, which accent every curve of the dark-haired man's lithe body.
In a few hours, this space would be full of the other boys and Catholic leaders. Very soon their most intimate and cherished moment will have been chased away with the rise of the sun and the invasion of their congregation.
The smaller man sighs softly, his thin lips parting. He moves, his arm coming up stretch above his head, his slender fingers mixing with his charcoal hair. "A man lying with another, I no longer feel is a sin. No guilt, remorse, punishment, or lecture they attempt will sway me. You've showed me, allowed me experiences that cause the greatest happiness in my life. No God would have given me urges like those only to label them as sins."
"There is no redemption I seek for the feelings I've had." His lover replied, "The purest pleasure of your lips, so smooth against mine. The way you exhaled into my mouth, your tightness and innocence. The heat and the chill, the darkness and the light. I wanted it then, moments ago, as much as I do now."
He moved closer, wrapping the smaller man in his arms and gathering him against his chest. He lay on his side, his sea-blue eyes full of adoration for the young man in his arms. The smaller man place a hand against his lover's bare chest, running his fingers through the wispy, fine hairs on his chest and feeling his warmth.
"'No sin befell us, no sinners are we.'" He quoted from one of their lectures, twisting the pastor's words so that they were fitting to their situation. "There was no temptation - only the purest love. The teachings of the light have their own shadows, to which I will no longer be blinded by."
The blonde's lips twisted up at his lover's words. "Levi." he softly spoke his name, his arms instinctively tightening around him, holding him closely. In the silver light that filtered through the stain-glass windows around them, bathing them in rainbows, the two men held each other close in ways that they had only dared to dream before tonight.
The smaller man closed his eyes, pressing himself closer against the blonde's chest. "Say it again." he whispered. "My name."
"Levi." the blonde complied, delighted by Levi's reaction. His eyes widened and his cheeks heated as he heard Levi whisper his name in return, a breathless moan.
"Erwin."
The wind outside blew gently, swaying the tree branches and causing twisted shadows to fall across the young men's' bodies. Levi sighed softly again, his breathing heavy and purposeful. He twisted in Erwin's arms, moving to sit up. His shirt parted as he moved, falling from his shoulders onto the floor. The slip of material made a soft rustling sound, unveiling Levi's naked skin. Pallid flesh with fair nipples, devoid of hair, his ribs were faintly visible under his flesh. He reached up and caressed Erwin's cheek, feeling the scratch of his dusting of stubble.
Erwin turned his face, the tip of his nose caressing Levi's fingertips in return. He closed his eyes, his golden eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks, and exhaled shakily. His breath teased Levi's palm, before his lips followed, pressing a soft kiss in the center of his hand. His hand came up to circle around Levi's wrist, gently guiding him to raise his arm so that he could kiss down his forearm.
Levi blushed in return, a soft, shaky moan escaping his lips. His body flushed with heat, desire stirring in his entire body. He brought his left arm to drape over Erwin's shoulder, his hanging just behind his back.
Erwin reached forward, wrapping his other arm around Levi's waist and smoothly pulling him closer, so that the smaller man sat in his lap. The young man's clothes were left discarded on the floor behind him, the only material parting their bodies being the trousers the older man wore. He released Levi's arm, circling his waist with both arms instead. He tilted his head back, looking up into his lover's bright eyes, before capturing his lips in a soft, slow kiss.
Levi's arms encircled Erwin's neck, his left hand coming up to thread through Erwin's soft blonde locks. The only sound in the room was their soft breaths and their virgin kisses. They held each other softly, tentatively, exploring their bodies patiently, just as they had moments earlier.
Erwin broke their kiss first, pulling away and then held Levi close, hugging him against his chest. He kissed Levi's temple, before reaching forwards and bringing his shirt to cover his naked back from the cold. He rubbed his back, enjoying the feel of Levi's slender body and the warmth of his flesh. He had been so careful when he held him tonight, afraid to redden his pale skin, terrified of leaving marks on his body. Levi's condition made him easy to bruise. But he couldn't deny there had been a temptation.
"You can mark me if you want." Levi whispered, as if he had read Erwin's mind. It was obvious in the way Erwin was looking at Levi's body, the way his hands traced over his skin, checking for any evidence of their coupling.
"I want to." Erwin admitted softly, unable to lie to Levi. "But I can't leave any evidence."
Levi smiled softly, understanding Erwin's reasoning and admiring his restraint.
Erwin kept an arm around Levi's shoulders, holding him close, and reached up with his right hand to hold the cross pendant that hung around his own neck. Levi had taken his off when they began coupling. Erwin tugged at his, tempted to snap the chain and let it fall from his neck. Every boy in the congregation had one; it would be too obvious if his were to go missing. He sat with his back to the alter, and to the cross, and for a moment of silence hidden from God he debated his words. He couldn't snap off the necklace, not yet. But in time.
"I had to confess my feelings for you tonight because I was afraid I would lose my chance otherwise." he admitted.
Levi nodded once to let Erwin know he was listening. He wasn't sure how to respond so he waited for him to continue.
Erwin's only response was to sigh heavily, then hug Levi. He let his forehead touch Levi's, resting against him and looking down. It was as if he feared losing him.
"What is it, my love?" Levi questioned, his eyebrows drawing together as he read the tension in Erwin's frame. They were closer, so much close than they had been hours ago. He pulled away, caressing his face from temple to jaw, then lifted his chin so that he could look into his eyes.
Erwin was quiet, his sharp blue eyes calculating. There was an endless ocean of emotions in his gaze; Levi caught love, happiness, devotion, and fear. He licked his lips, tasting Levi on his skin, then drew in a breath.
"It's October seventh." Erwin sighed. "I'll be eighteen this time next week."
Levi looked down, his mouth set in a determined line. He was not a man to cry. His fingers curled, his nails pressing into his palms. When he looked up again, his eyes were darkened with anger and he looked past Erwin, up at the image of their idol above them, hanging on the wall. Seeing the image of their Father, the accusation left Levi's eyes and he turned his softened gaze back to Erwin. "I'm leaving with you." he declared.
"Levi," Erwin sighed. The younger man still had a few years left before he would be dismissed from the orphanage. He had a choice, he didn't have to leave where he was provided for.
"I'm coming with you." Levi whispered, a fierce determination in his voice. There was a fire in his eyes that kept Erwin from protesting.
Erwin surrendered, holding Levi close. He was powerless to denying his angel. It would be agony to leave him behind as the sun rose and pretend that the events of tonight didn't happen. It would be next to impossible to leave him behind. He placed a hand on the back of Levi's head, guiding him to rest his chin on his shoulder again, and closing his own eyes. It was comforting to know that Levi would be with him, and he was hopeful to start their new lives together.
"Alright." he whispered, glancing upwards and out one of the large windows towards the endless sky outside. It was still dark out, and he despite his childhood fear of the shadows at night, he found he was grateful for the darkness. He caressed Levi's hair, holding him gently in his arms and feeling baptized in his presence. He pressed kisses to his shoulder, enjoying the feel of Levi's fingers along his own bare skin. He sighed softly, holding his angel in his arms. "We'll leave together."