Disclaimer: Don't Own Them And Not Making Any Money

Leaving

"Babe," he said.

I ignored him. I refused to acknowledge his presence. It wasn't right. Not at all. Not here. Not now. Not when I was at the funeral. There is no reason for Ranger to be here. He shouldn't be here. But he was. And it looked like he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm sorry, Babe," he tried again and put his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"Just leave," I whispered. "Go away. Why cant you just leave me alone. You shouldn't be here. Its not right. Isn't this bad enough? Why are you making this worse for me? I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear you. I don't want you touching me. Go. Just go. Give me some peace and leave. Why do you have to make this so hard for me? If you ever cared about me, at all, you would leave and never come back. I cant stand the sight of you. I hate your voice. I hate when you try and touch me. Just leave me be, and let me get through this funeral in one piece."

"Babe, please. You know I love you. You have to know that. I want to help you get through this. I hate seeing you like this. I..."

I stopped listening. I couldn't anymore. I hurt too much already. The tears I always held back were gathering in my eyes. They are no longer the bright, shining, sapphire that conveyed all my feelings. Now they are hollow and lifeless now. Just like the rest of me. Feeling the tears was a new experience. I hadn't cried when I found out what happened. Not even one tear. I already knew. I knew before anyone could tell me that...that he was gone. I felt him go. He didn't even fight. He left. He accepted his fate and left.

My sadness was replaced by anger. Pure hatred of him. He left me. God damn it he left me. He promised he would never leave me. Then when he could have fought...he didn't. He just left. So much for our happily ever after. Was every word out of his mouth a lie? Was I not worth fight for? Why couldn't he hold on? I loved him so much. Love. I love him so much. I guess I was a fool to think he felt the same. He played me and I let him. How pathetic was I?

"Denial has always been your best friend, Babe. But this is taking it a little to far. You know what happened out there. There was no way to stop it. Everyone knows that. Its time you realized that yourself. I wish I could change things. You shouldn't have to go through this."

But I am. My hands were clutching the seat so hard I thought it was going to break. All I wanted to do was leave. God how I wanted to leave. But I had to be here. I had to witness his mothers constant sobbing. See the tears in his fathers eyes while he was trying to comfort his wife. I had to witness all his brother and sister surrounding his parents lending them support when they could barely keep it together themselves. It was too painful to see them like this. I quickly looked at the ground to avoid seeing anyone else.

I should be there with them. Crying and offering my own support to them. Had he lived they would have been my family too. But here I was off to the side in my own little world. One minute I hate him, the next I want to join him where ever he is. But I couldn't. I wish I could take my life away and be with him. I would too. But it wouldn't just be my life. I would be taking away the life of our baby boy too. I'm only a month or two along but I can feel in my soul that its a boy.

"Stephanie...Oh god. I didn't know you were pregnant. I...Im...Babe." He reached out for me again but I moved before he could. His hand dropped back to his side.

Of course he didn't know. No one knows. Not even Mary Lou. I didn't get the chance to tell anyone. I wanted it to be a surprise when I told him. I had the whole thing planned out too. I was going to wait for fathers day to come. I already bought the card and "signed" it for the baby. I knew he would be surprised. Hopefully a happy surprised.

He'll never get the chance to see him, hold him in his arms, play with him. Not the way he should be able to.

"I'll always be here for you and him, Babe. Don't ever doubt that. I just wish I could do more."

"But you cant Ranger. No one can help me this time. Not the way I need it anyways. Ill live for my child but I don't know if I'll ever truly be alive again." My voice sounded dead and flat even to me.

"This baby will bring everyone hope again. He will give you the strength Stephanie. Let him. Let him help you and everyone else. Make him apart of their lives."

"I will," I promised quietly. "I'll make sure he knows who his father is." I finally looked up from the ground and into Rangers sad eyes. "He'll know all about you Ranger. I promise."

"I know he will, Babe. I know." His voice cracked a little at the end.

It was then I noticed everyone was gone. What time was it? How long have I been here?

"Its been about an hour Babe. But your not alone. Tank and the rest of the guys are watching out for you. Always know they are and I will too. But Steph...I have to... I..."

"Your going for real this time, aren't you?" To my surprise tears freely started to fall from my eyes.

"Yeah Babe. You were right. I need to let you go on like normal. I cant keep doing this to you. You wont see or hear me but I'll always be around you. Don't ever doubt that. I'll be with you, just a little less obvious this time around." He said the last part with a sad smile.

A sob ripped out of my throat as I stood up hugged him to me. "I'm sorry Ranger. I didn't mean it. Please don't go. Don't leave me again. I love you! Please stay with me. I need you! Our son needs you! Please, Ranger."

"I know Babe. I know. I'll love you and our son forever. Don't ever doubt that. God, I'm going to miss holding you in my arms." He whispered into my ear. "I have to go now, Babe."

"No." I held him even tighter. "I wont let you. I wont let you leave me. I - I cant let you leave me alone." I could barely even get out those small sentences out because I was sobbing so hard.

"We don't have a choice, but you wont be alone. The guys will always be there, I will be there, and the baby inside you, our baby, will always be there for you."

Slowly, as all the pent up tears and sobs racked through my body, I felt myself being lowered onto the ground til I was lying on my side. Strong arms were wrapped around my body, once hand curling protectively around my stomach. Soothing Spanish words were whispered in my ear. I could barely hear them, let alone understand them.

God, I begged. Please God give him back to me. Don't let him leave. I need him. Our baby needs him. You cant take him away.

"I love you Stephanie Michelle Plum. I will continue to love you and our child with every inch of my heart. Goodbye, Babe, " floated to my ears and deep into my broken heart. A soft kiss against my lips, was the last touch I felt.

Then...I was alone.

I don't know how long I stayed on the ground crying and I didn't care. I needed to cry. I needed to let it all out once and for all. I finally excepted the truth. Ranger loved me. He was going to marry me. We created a child together. But now...he was gone.

As the final shudders passed through my body I sat up and stared at the sky. It was almost night and rain clouds were gathering in the sky. As I got up to leave I turned around and took a last look at his grave. Only the dates he lived were imprinted on the headstone right under his name. I name I will give my child. Our child.

Ricardo Carlos Manoso
August 12, 1978 - April 7, 2008

Rain started to fall as I slowly made my way to the guys. They were all there. Tank, Lester, Bobby, Zero, Manny, Hal, Cal, Hector and everyone else were gathered at the gates waiting for me. Tank stepped forward and brought me into his arms and coat, shielding me from the rain. Giving me the strength and support I needed.

No words were spoken between us. They weren't needed. I looked around into all their faces. The faces of my friends and my child's uncles. Sorrow filled their eyes. But so did love and support.

I took a deep breathe and placed my hands over my stomach. Don't worry little Ric, I said to myself and my baby. We're not alone. Your uncles will look after and love us forever. I promise.

A gentle wind blew across my face, and I closed my eyes. Quieter than a whisper, a soft Babe carried across me.

And so will Daddy, I added.

And so will Daddy.

A/N: It didn't exactly come out the way I hoped but I think its alright. Criticism, both good and bad, is always appreciated.

For now it is a one shot but I might continue.

Sky