Grumpy Old Mechs
By Ranie
::AN: This my 1st TF fic tis meant to be pointless and funny I DO NOT Own TF I DO Own Typo and Bumblebug :) PLZ RnR::
He hated it here. He hadn't come willingly of course, no not at all. In fact being dragged in kicking a screaming was more like it. They even took his weapons away! He'll get them back.
He was going to get them back for this. 'You need a rest' they said 'your getting to old for this' they said. We will see who's too OLD when I stick my fusion cannon in their face!
Megatron glared at the opposite wall as he sat down with his arms crossed over his chest. He pouted and glared harder at the wall in hopes it would blow up into tiny bits so he could make his escape.
"I WANT MY ENERGON!" He screamed waving his arms in the air casing the rocking chair to shuffle along the floor a little.
"AH shut yer yap!" His roommate yelled.
"SOME of us are TRYING to sleep!!" the other person of their shared room bitched.
Megatron had been dragged to the Transformers old folks home. It had been the seekers and that DAMNED Bug who had brought him here. It was Starscream and Typo's idea mainly but the others agreed. If they didn't get Megatron to take a rest he would have over worked them all to the brink of insanity.
After their last mission Megs had gone a little fruitier then normal.
Soon a femme walked over to him. She wasn't a bot or a con she was that infernal engineer in training for the Autobots. She looked nervous as she carried a bowl of mushy Energon towards Megatron.
"Its about time Auto Brat!" He hissed.
"Just cuz I work for the bots don't mean I am one. And how are you this morning?" She asked.
"HUNGRY! I could have starved to death waiting for you to get me my food!" He stamped his foot on the ground.
"Shame the power to your mouth didn't run out" Bumblebug mumbled under her breath.
Bumblebug put a tray on his lap and placed the bowl on top of it with the spoon already in the mush.
"This isn't' what I asked for!" He snapped.
"If you were hungry then you'd eat it" The femme mentally counted to 10.
Her pager bleeped and she sighed with relief. 'Some up there DOES love me' she smiled to herself and turned to leave when.
SLOP
Megatron had hurled his bowl of mush at the femme and it had hit the back of her head and started to drip down. Megatron burst into evil laughter while Bumblebug clenched her fists together.
"THAT'S IT!" She yelled turning and stomping back to the Decepticon leader.
"Hey Bumble I paged you like ages.. Ago." Wheeljack walked in and saw what was unfolding.
'Autobots WOULD have to be here wouldn't they? Always doing good and blah, yak, blah.' Megatron grumbled.
Wheeljack sighed and grabbed Bumblebug by her arm and started to drag the femme away.
"Come now! We have work to do!" His ears flashed blue as Bumblebug pouted allowing herself to be dragged away.
"Why does that thought scare me?" She mumbled.
"Oh yeah! Every time we 'have work to do' we both end up getting blown up or something just as bad" Bumblebug sighed loudly.
"Awww don't you have faith in me?" He let her go and the two walked down the halls.
"Well... As much as I love you...no"
V^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^
"THIS is what we had to rush off to work on?" Bumblebug's left optic twitched as she watched Wheeljack.
"Well uh yes! But ain't they cute!"
Wheeljack was holding a rabbit witch had been feed something to make it grew TF sized. His ears flashed as he talked and Bumblebug just stared.
"Remember what happened LAST time? Wheeljack Hun?"
** FLASHBACK **
"HAY GUYS WE HAVE A SITUATION!" Bumblebug yelled.
Ratchet and Wheeljack walked into the room witch was over crowded with many, MANY rabbits.
"WHEELJACK!" The medic turned to Wheeljack.
"Hay how was I supposed to know they'd breed this fast?"
"Just DO something!" Bumblebug shook Wheeljack by the shoulders.
:: END FLASH BACK ::
"Hehehe oh... That" He looked down at the floor and shuffled one foot slightly.
"And plus one of the beloved old people tried to eat them!" She said arms raised above her head.
"Oh yeah what ever happened to him? He was such a nice old guy wasn't he?"
~~~~~~~~~~~ LATER ~~~~~~~~~~
"Ok mess hall time" Ratchet said walking into Megatron's room.
"Don't wanna!" Megs stamped his foot.
"Are you 4 million and 45 or are you 4 million and 2, young man?" Ratchet but his hands on his hips and glared.
Ratchet clicked his fingers and out came Grimlock and Slag who dragged Megatron out to the mess hall kicking and screaming. Soon Megatron found himself sitting at a table with a chessboard in front of him and Kup the other side. He glared at the board and then glared at Kup.
"Your turn" Kup said after moving a pawn.
Megatron grinned then slammed the board shut and stood up.
"I WON!" He jumped onto the table and danced till he saw Kup along with every one looking at him oddly.
Ratchet, Wheeljack and Bumblebug stood there gaping at the scene in front of them. Wheeljack turned to Bumblebug.
"I guess it's a bad time to ask about letting the rabbits out?"
Bumblebug raised her hands and pounced on Wheeljack knocking them both to the floor. Ratchet whispered to Grimlock.
"Bring me a tranquillizer for Megs and. two for them..." he glanced down at the two and sighed.
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^
Megs yawned and looked around the room and felt a pain in his shoulder where the doc had zapped him. He grumbled as he saw he was out on the porch on his rocking chair. He looked to his left and saw a banjo.
"Hmm how to turn this innocent um... Thing into a weapon of mass destruction MWAHAHA" He rocked in his chair and laughed.
"YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE SCHEMING IN THERE!!" Ratchet yelled.
"Epp. No." Megs then narrowed his eyes and whispered.
"Heheheheh"
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
"Ok I understand about the having to knock us out but... why did you let GRIMLOCK do it. I feel Violated" Bumblebug whined as she sat up rubbed her head.
"At least yours wasn't put where the sun don't shine" Wheeljack shook his head.
"Ok thanks for sharing kids now back to duties" Ratchet left the two.
Wheeljack turned slowly to Bumblebug and was bout to speak.
"Say one word and you've had it"
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Megatron shuffled down the halls of the old folk's home his back to the wall. He peeked past every corner. He smiled as he looked past another and it was clear.
"Hey where are YOU going?"
Megatron turned round and saw Kup.
"I'm planning to get out of this place not that it has any thing to do with you" Megs snapped.
"I want to get out of here as much as you! I say we have a truce till we get out of here. If I have ONE more whipper snapper force a simmer frame upon me I'll go nuts!"
The leader of all evil looked at the Autobot and nodded.
"Yes, and with this!" He pulled the Banjo out from behind him.
"I can be sure you can't double cross me!"
"Fine..."
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^
"So over lord to the evil that is giant rabbits what do we do now?" Bumblebug asked steeping over the giant rabbits.
"Add that title to my resume?" Wheeljack asked looking around the room.
He had forgotten to separate the boys from the girls and well 2 soon became 20.
"Where are the Dinobots when you need them to come to an all you can eat rabbit feast?"
"My guess is that Ratchet has attached wings to them all minus Swoop, dressed them in bell boy outfits and pushed them out the window yelling 'Fly my pretties'" Wheeljack nodded in satisfaction to his own theory.
"Yes. and then they climbed a giant bean stalk and went to kill the giant yes right?" She asked.
"No that's just plain silly. Leave the thinking to me Hun"
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Megatron and Kup in a newly formed alliance crept down the dark halls looking out for the couple, Ratchet and the Dinobots. Kup stopped Megatron when they got to the kitchen. Kup dashed off and came back with two buckets of mush.
"What's that for?" He asked.
"Ammo"
"Yes with THAT and THIS thing-a-de-do we shall escape" Megs smiled.
"I LOVE your technical terms..."
"Why than. hay was that an in-"
"Shh I think I hear Grimlock"
The two Snuck around the corners and dashed down the hall.
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Wheeljack and Bumblebug where huddled into a corner shaking and holding on to each other for dear life. The most horrifying thing they could thing of was just about the attack.
"I LEAVE FOR ONE MINUET AND YOU TWO LEFT TWO OF MY PATIENTS ESCAPE!" Ratchet growled and aimed a gun at the two.
"B...B.But." Wheeljack stuttered his ears flashing meekly.
"You WILL get them back and you'll do it before 4PM!"
"What's on at 4?" Bumblebug meekly asked.
"Well my soap opera of course I can't cancel that again"
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^
"This HAS to be one of the BEST weapons I have EVER made!" Megatron cackled and stepped back to get a better view of his 'weapon'
This 'super' weapon was in fact the Banjo with two of the four strings missing and a tub of mush ready to be catapulted away from the banjo at an enemy.
"We're about...one hall away from the exit!" Kup grinned and looked around. Soon they would be free.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Ok let me get this straight. Your plan is to use the giant bunnies to hunt down Megs and Kup, yes? And they'll do that how?" Bumblebug asked pacing up and down.
"The rabbits will track them down using their keen sense of smell" Wheeljack mentally grinned.
He had attached a lead and collar to two huge rabbits he held one lead in his hand and was handing the other too Bumblebug who took it from him.
"So how do we get the full balls to eh move?"
"Just say-" he whispered into her ears.
"Rabbit stew?"
And with that the rabbits soon zoomed into action catching the engineers off guard and dragging them down the halls of the old folk's home. They passed Sludge at top speed.
"Me not sure me Sludge wanna know"
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Ratchet sighed and sat down in an armchair in the TV room and began to channel surf till he heard yelling outside the window. He turned his head and saw two huge rabbits dragging his staff along behind them.
"Better them then me"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"I can feel the freedom!" Megatron said hugged his 'weapon' to his chest.
"Soon I will be free! To rule the world mwahaha"
"Careful there sunny your ego might get stuck in the door way" Kup muttered as the walked along the last hall and the door was in site.
Soon they heard screams and the sound of giant paws running down the metal hall and with a gulp they ran to the door but it was locked.
"DARN IT!" Megatron screamed and banged his fists on the door.
"SO CLOSE" He whimpered.
"Hay Megs give me the Banjo!" Kup put his hand out.
"Why? What's the use? We are DOMED to stay here! And play Bingo!"
"Hay don't you be dissing my past time"
Megs handed Kup the thin and Kup took aim and blasted a tub of Energon mush at the door. There was a cloud of smoke then the door burnt. A huge hole appeared.
"No wonder the stuff goes right threw me" Kup mused and the two jumped out the hole.
Followed by Bumblebug and Wheeljack, who had been dragged by the rabbits. The two dropped the leads and fell with a clank on their rear ends.
Megatron took a look at his freedom and saw...
"Starscream? Skywarp? What are YOU three doing here?" He glared at them.
"We're here to pick you of course" Starscream snapped.
"So how was it 'mighty' leader," Skywarp taunted.
Megatron growled and marched up to the two and picked them up one in each hand.
"OK you took ME to the old folk's home I'm taking YOU to nursery school!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" The seekers yelled as Megs dragged them away.
"Alls well that ends well" Kup smiled.
Wheeljack and Bumblebug sat back to back and sighed.
"Who knew old people had so much. energy?" She asked.
"I don't know. But I need sleep..."
~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~
By Ranie
::AN: This my 1st TF fic tis meant to be pointless and funny I DO NOT Own TF I DO Own Typo and Bumblebug :) PLZ RnR::
He hated it here. He hadn't come willingly of course, no not at all. In fact being dragged in kicking a screaming was more like it. They even took his weapons away! He'll get them back.
He was going to get them back for this. 'You need a rest' they said 'your getting to old for this' they said. We will see who's too OLD when I stick my fusion cannon in their face!
Megatron glared at the opposite wall as he sat down with his arms crossed over his chest. He pouted and glared harder at the wall in hopes it would blow up into tiny bits so he could make his escape.
"I WANT MY ENERGON!" He screamed waving his arms in the air casing the rocking chair to shuffle along the floor a little.
"AH shut yer yap!" His roommate yelled.
"SOME of us are TRYING to sleep!!" the other person of their shared room bitched.
Megatron had been dragged to the Transformers old folks home. It had been the seekers and that DAMNED Bug who had brought him here. It was Starscream and Typo's idea mainly but the others agreed. If they didn't get Megatron to take a rest he would have over worked them all to the brink of insanity.
After their last mission Megs had gone a little fruitier then normal.
Soon a femme walked over to him. She wasn't a bot or a con she was that infernal engineer in training for the Autobots. She looked nervous as she carried a bowl of mushy Energon towards Megatron.
"Its about time Auto Brat!" He hissed.
"Just cuz I work for the bots don't mean I am one. And how are you this morning?" She asked.
"HUNGRY! I could have starved to death waiting for you to get me my food!" He stamped his foot on the ground.
"Shame the power to your mouth didn't run out" Bumblebug mumbled under her breath.
Bumblebug put a tray on his lap and placed the bowl on top of it with the spoon already in the mush.
"This isn't' what I asked for!" He snapped.
"If you were hungry then you'd eat it" The femme mentally counted to 10.
Her pager bleeped and she sighed with relief. 'Some up there DOES love me' she smiled to herself and turned to leave when.
SLOP
Megatron had hurled his bowl of mush at the femme and it had hit the back of her head and started to drip down. Megatron burst into evil laughter while Bumblebug clenched her fists together.
"THAT'S IT!" She yelled turning and stomping back to the Decepticon leader.
"Hey Bumble I paged you like ages.. Ago." Wheeljack walked in and saw what was unfolding.
'Autobots WOULD have to be here wouldn't they? Always doing good and blah, yak, blah.' Megatron grumbled.
Wheeljack sighed and grabbed Bumblebug by her arm and started to drag the femme away.
"Come now! We have work to do!" His ears flashed blue as Bumblebug pouted allowing herself to be dragged away.
"Why does that thought scare me?" She mumbled.
"Oh yeah! Every time we 'have work to do' we both end up getting blown up or something just as bad" Bumblebug sighed loudly.
"Awww don't you have faith in me?" He let her go and the two walked down the halls.
"Well... As much as I love you...no"
V^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^
"THIS is what we had to rush off to work on?" Bumblebug's left optic twitched as she watched Wheeljack.
"Well uh yes! But ain't they cute!"
Wheeljack was holding a rabbit witch had been feed something to make it grew TF sized. His ears flashed as he talked and Bumblebug just stared.
"Remember what happened LAST time? Wheeljack Hun?"
** FLASHBACK **
"HAY GUYS WE HAVE A SITUATION!" Bumblebug yelled.
Ratchet and Wheeljack walked into the room witch was over crowded with many, MANY rabbits.
"WHEELJACK!" The medic turned to Wheeljack.
"Hay how was I supposed to know they'd breed this fast?"
"Just DO something!" Bumblebug shook Wheeljack by the shoulders.
:: END FLASH BACK ::
"Hehehe oh... That" He looked down at the floor and shuffled one foot slightly.
"And plus one of the beloved old people tried to eat them!" She said arms raised above her head.
"Oh yeah what ever happened to him? He was such a nice old guy wasn't he?"
~~~~~~~~~~~ LATER ~~~~~~~~~~
"Ok mess hall time" Ratchet said walking into Megatron's room.
"Don't wanna!" Megs stamped his foot.
"Are you 4 million and 45 or are you 4 million and 2, young man?" Ratchet but his hands on his hips and glared.
Ratchet clicked his fingers and out came Grimlock and Slag who dragged Megatron out to the mess hall kicking and screaming. Soon Megatron found himself sitting at a table with a chessboard in front of him and Kup the other side. He glared at the board and then glared at Kup.
"Your turn" Kup said after moving a pawn.
Megatron grinned then slammed the board shut and stood up.
"I WON!" He jumped onto the table and danced till he saw Kup along with every one looking at him oddly.
Ratchet, Wheeljack and Bumblebug stood there gaping at the scene in front of them. Wheeljack turned to Bumblebug.
"I guess it's a bad time to ask about letting the rabbits out?"
Bumblebug raised her hands and pounced on Wheeljack knocking them both to the floor. Ratchet whispered to Grimlock.
"Bring me a tranquillizer for Megs and. two for them..." he glanced down at the two and sighed.
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^
Megs yawned and looked around the room and felt a pain in his shoulder where the doc had zapped him. He grumbled as he saw he was out on the porch on his rocking chair. He looked to his left and saw a banjo.
"Hmm how to turn this innocent um... Thing into a weapon of mass destruction MWAHAHA" He rocked in his chair and laughed.
"YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE SCHEMING IN THERE!!" Ratchet yelled.
"Epp. No." Megs then narrowed his eyes and whispered.
"Heheheheh"
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
"Ok I understand about the having to knock us out but... why did you let GRIMLOCK do it. I feel Violated" Bumblebug whined as she sat up rubbed her head.
"At least yours wasn't put where the sun don't shine" Wheeljack shook his head.
"Ok thanks for sharing kids now back to duties" Ratchet left the two.
Wheeljack turned slowly to Bumblebug and was bout to speak.
"Say one word and you've had it"
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Megatron shuffled down the halls of the old folk's home his back to the wall. He peeked past every corner. He smiled as he looked past another and it was clear.
"Hey where are YOU going?"
Megatron turned round and saw Kup.
"I'm planning to get out of this place not that it has any thing to do with you" Megs snapped.
"I want to get out of here as much as you! I say we have a truce till we get out of here. If I have ONE more whipper snapper force a simmer frame upon me I'll go nuts!"
The leader of all evil looked at the Autobot and nodded.
"Yes, and with this!" He pulled the Banjo out from behind him.
"I can be sure you can't double cross me!"
"Fine..."
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^
"So over lord to the evil that is giant rabbits what do we do now?" Bumblebug asked steeping over the giant rabbits.
"Add that title to my resume?" Wheeljack asked looking around the room.
He had forgotten to separate the boys from the girls and well 2 soon became 20.
"Where are the Dinobots when you need them to come to an all you can eat rabbit feast?"
"My guess is that Ratchet has attached wings to them all minus Swoop, dressed them in bell boy outfits and pushed them out the window yelling 'Fly my pretties'" Wheeljack nodded in satisfaction to his own theory.
"Yes. and then they climbed a giant bean stalk and went to kill the giant yes right?" She asked.
"No that's just plain silly. Leave the thinking to me Hun"
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Megatron and Kup in a newly formed alliance crept down the dark halls looking out for the couple, Ratchet and the Dinobots. Kup stopped Megatron when they got to the kitchen. Kup dashed off and came back with two buckets of mush.
"What's that for?" He asked.
"Ammo"
"Yes with THAT and THIS thing-a-de-do we shall escape" Megs smiled.
"I LOVE your technical terms..."
"Why than. hay was that an in-"
"Shh I think I hear Grimlock"
The two Snuck around the corners and dashed down the hall.
^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Wheeljack and Bumblebug where huddled into a corner shaking and holding on to each other for dear life. The most horrifying thing they could thing of was just about the attack.
"I LEAVE FOR ONE MINUET AND YOU TWO LEFT TWO OF MY PATIENTS ESCAPE!" Ratchet growled and aimed a gun at the two.
"B...B.But." Wheeljack stuttered his ears flashing meekly.
"You WILL get them back and you'll do it before 4PM!"
"What's on at 4?" Bumblebug meekly asked.
"Well my soap opera of course I can't cancel that again"
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^
"This HAS to be one of the BEST weapons I have EVER made!" Megatron cackled and stepped back to get a better view of his 'weapon'
This 'super' weapon was in fact the Banjo with two of the four strings missing and a tub of mush ready to be catapulted away from the banjo at an enemy.
"We're about...one hall away from the exit!" Kup grinned and looked around. Soon they would be free.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Ok let me get this straight. Your plan is to use the giant bunnies to hunt down Megs and Kup, yes? And they'll do that how?" Bumblebug asked pacing up and down.
"The rabbits will track them down using their keen sense of smell" Wheeljack mentally grinned.
He had attached a lead and collar to two huge rabbits he held one lead in his hand and was handing the other too Bumblebug who took it from him.
"So how do we get the full balls to eh move?"
"Just say-" he whispered into her ears.
"Rabbit stew?"
And with that the rabbits soon zoomed into action catching the engineers off guard and dragging them down the halls of the old folk's home. They passed Sludge at top speed.
"Me not sure me Sludge wanna know"
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Ratchet sighed and sat down in an armchair in the TV room and began to channel surf till he heard yelling outside the window. He turned his head and saw two huge rabbits dragging his staff along behind them.
"Better them then me"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"I can feel the freedom!" Megatron said hugged his 'weapon' to his chest.
"Soon I will be free! To rule the world mwahaha"
"Careful there sunny your ego might get stuck in the door way" Kup muttered as the walked along the last hall and the door was in site.
Soon they heard screams and the sound of giant paws running down the metal hall and with a gulp they ran to the door but it was locked.
"DARN IT!" Megatron screamed and banged his fists on the door.
"SO CLOSE" He whimpered.
"Hay Megs give me the Banjo!" Kup put his hand out.
"Why? What's the use? We are DOMED to stay here! And play Bingo!"
"Hay don't you be dissing my past time"
Megs handed Kup the thin and Kup took aim and blasted a tub of Energon mush at the door. There was a cloud of smoke then the door burnt. A huge hole appeared.
"No wonder the stuff goes right threw me" Kup mused and the two jumped out the hole.
Followed by Bumblebug and Wheeljack, who had been dragged by the rabbits. The two dropped the leads and fell with a clank on their rear ends.
Megatron took a look at his freedom and saw...
"Starscream? Skywarp? What are YOU three doing here?" He glared at them.
"We're here to pick you of course" Starscream snapped.
"So how was it 'mighty' leader," Skywarp taunted.
Megatron growled and marched up to the two and picked them up one in each hand.
"OK you took ME to the old folk's home I'm taking YOU to nursery school!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" The seekers yelled as Megs dragged them away.
"Alls well that ends well" Kup smiled.
Wheeljack and Bumblebug sat back to back and sighed.
"Who knew old people had so much. energy?" She asked.
"I don't know. But I need sleep..."
~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~