The characters within do not belong to me. They are property of Don
Johnson, Carlton Cuse, CBS, etc. Please read and review.
LOST
Chapter One
Alexa began handling cases for Bridges and Dominguez and in a few weeks their output had almost doubled. She worked full time on cases that Joe and Nash would normally only be able to spend a few off duty hours on. She had moved into a loft apartment only a block from the agency. Her time was well spent and the profits from the detective agency began to rise. As for a personal life, well, Alex had little time. And she knew what she wanted. Until it was available, there was nothing else. Nash and Alex hadn't seen much of each other due to their busy work schedules. They talked on the phone, but mostly about cases for the agency. After their holidays at the ski lodge, Alex wasn't sure Nash was really ready at all, or that she was even going to be able to get any closer to him at all. But they had agreed to see one another, when there was time. And Alex had figured it was about time. It was after six on a Friday evening. Nash was getting ready to leave the SIU barge. It was quiet. He was hoping for a relaxing evening after a long tough week. Just as he turned off his desk lamp, his phone rang. He debated answering, but relented to his conscious. "Nash." "Hi Nash." It was Alex. Nash's face brightened. "Well hey there. What's up?" "Oh, I'm just finishing up here and I was, uh, wondering if you had any plans for the evening?"
Nash grinned. "Well not really. What'd you have in mind?" "Maybe dinner, wine, a few candles.and maybe dessert?" Nash's grin widened. "What's for dessert?" he asked coyly. He could almost hear her smile over the phone. "Me," she said and then laughed a little. "Now that sounds like a meal I could really get into, sister. Why don't I pick you up at the office?" "I'll be waiting."
Nash walked into the detective agency. Alex had added some female touches and rearranged the furniture. It was pleasing to the eye. Especially once he entered the inner office, where just a lamp was lit, and Alex sat on the desk, legs crossed, reading the paper. She looked stunning in a white blouse, black skirt, black hose and black heels. She looked as if she'd been wearing her hair up all day and just taken it down and shaken it loose. She looked up and smiled. "Hi ya' good lookin'," Nash greeted with a smile. "Hi yourself." "I like what you've done with the place," he said, stopping to look around a moment. "Thanks. It's FengShui. Good for business." "That's no lie." He laughed. He came and stood directly in front of Alex. "You hungry?" Alex very slowly and deliberately licked her lips. "Very." She grabbed the lapels of his tan sport jacket and pulled him to her. "But not for food." She kissed him then, very passionately. Nash willingly returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around her back, placing one hand in her hair to draw her even closer. After a few moments, he broke. "Maybe we should get some food for strength?" he suggested, already a little weak in the knees from that kiss. Alex laughed. "Okay." They locked up the agency and then went to a little Italian place called Papa Joe's. All through the veal scaloppini they acted like teen agers in lust. At one point, Alex slipped off her shoe and began running her bare foot seductively over Nash's leg, working her way up. Her stocking foot caressed his thigh and finally came to rest in his lap. She immediately felt her reward for her efforts. Across the table, Nash grinned wickedly. "Careful sister," he cautioned softly. "I don't feel like being careful tonight," she said. "I feel like being very dangerous." Nash sipped his wine. "And I've got a feeling you're very good at it." They left soon after. In the Cuda, on the way back to Nash's apartment, Alex kept her word. As Nash drove, she reached over and unzipped his fly. "Good Lord, woman," Nash said, but only half seriously. Alex just smiled and before he knew it, her head was in his lap, her mouth and tongue doing marvelous things. Nash made it into his parking garage even as Alex's ministrations were making him almost delirious. They remained in the Cuda, as Alex was determined to finish what she'd started. Nash moaned in pleasure as he felt his abandoned release. Alex had a Cheshire cat grin when she finally sat up. Nash was trying to catch his breath, his heart still racing. "Damn, sister!" he exclaimed in surprise and delight. "I have rules in my car. No eating, drinking or hanky panky," he joked. "But Nash," she said coyly. "I'd never spill anything in your car."
They rode the elevator up to Nash's. They kissed and groped each other all the way. Alex was pressed up against the cage wall as Nash kissed her neck while his hand reached down and lifted her skirt. His hand caressed her bare hip. He discovered she wore a thong and garter belt under her conservative dress. When the elevator stopped, Alex made a motion to straighten herself, knowing Nick was probably up. "Don't worry," Nash said, opening the gate. "Nick has ballroom dance class on Fridays." They got off the elevator and Nash lifted Alexa up to the pool table. He sat her there and stood between her thighs. His mouth explored hers while he unbuttoned her blouse. He unclasped her lacy white bra. Both her blouse and bra got discarded on the pool table. Alex wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and this way, Nash carried her to his bedroom. Her shoes fell off somewhere in between.
Later, Nick came in from his class. He got off the elevator. There was a woman's white silk shirt and a lacy brassiere on the pool table. Nick raised an eyebrow. He went down the steps into the living room. He saw a black high heeled shoe in the living room and another one near Nash's closed bedroom door. Nick grinned. "You go, son," he said softly. At least someone around here was getting some female companionship.
Very much later Nash lay exhausted by an equally exhausted Alexa. She was tucked into his shoulder. "You have no idea how much I needed that," Nash told her. She smiled. "You an me both." He was a little uneasy about the twists and turns their 'relationship' was taking. "Are we, uh, still." he began, but didn't know what words to use. "If you're asking has anything changed? No. Like I told you that night Nash, I'm not looking for commitments or long term relationships. I can be as much or as little as you need." "It just sounds a little too easy." "It's not easy. It's just simpler. Right now. We're just good friends. And friends ought to be able to take care of each other, right?" Nash considered all this. "Alex?" "Yeah?"
"You're a hell of a friend." She smiled.
CHAPTER TWO
TWO WEEKS LATER It was late. Nash was soundly sleeping after another long day. He'd read a chapter in his latest Tom Clancy novel over a glass of port and then clicked off his bed side lamp. He'd fallen asleep almost immediately. The ringing phone woke him. The bright green glow of the clock showed 1:52 AM. Nash fumbled for the phone. "Nash," he answered wearily. A sob choked on the line. Nash began to come awake. "Hello?" he tried again "Nash." "Alex? Is that you?" Adrenaline began to rush to his extremities. "Nash.help me..help me." she begged, her voice catching and breaking off between sobs. Nash came out of bed. "Alex, what's wrong? Where are you?"
"I.I'm at home.I think he's gone." Nash cussed. "I'm on my way. Hang up. Call 911. I'll be right there!" He was already pulling on jeans and running shoes. He left on the sweatshirt he'd fallen asleep in. He grabbed a jacket and his holster.
Nash called for backup on his way to Alexa's place. He had a good idea what had happened by the way that she sounded. He was first on scene. He used his key to let himself into her apartment. He held his gun ready. In the living room, a lamp was toppled and a chair overturned. He made his way inside, looking for anyone, including Alex. "Alex?" he called. He made his way toward the bedroom. A broken picture lay on the hall floor from where it had fallen off the wall. He stepped around the broken glass. The bedroom door was half-open and the wood splintered around the knob, like it had been kicked open. "Alex?" he called again. "It's Nash." He went in. Alexa was on the floor beside her bed. A sheet was wrapped around her. Blood was dried on her lower lip and the left side of her face was swollen. The phone was in her hand. Nash cursed again and stuck his gun into his shoulder holster. He went to her and knelt down. Her eyes were vacant. She looked right through him. "How long has he been gone?" A tear rolled down her cheek. "M.maybe half an hour." "Do you know him?" Alex nodded. She looked past Nash, at the wall. "We went to dinner. He said he wanted to thank me. Afterwards, he wanted to come up. I said no." she choked back a sob. "About ten minutes later, he knocked on the door.said he'd had car trouble.his cell phone was dead, could he use the phone?" her voice, flat, broke as her tears fell. "He came inside and.he just attacked me like an animal." Nash took her protectively in his arms as she began to sob uncontrollably. He could hear sirens nearing. "Who was it Alex?" "Phillip Endicott." Nash was shocked. Endicott was a very prominent defense attorney. He was a shady guy, but what lawyers weren't? Nash figured. But this? He was furious.
Nash went with Alex to the hospital. He'd called Dr Berry and woken her up as well. But he wanted the best for Alex and he wanted the best evidence to be able to prosecute the slime that had done this. He paced outside the ED while Dr Berry made an initial evaluation. She came out to speak with him. A female officer was also standing by. "I have a specialist, a nurse coming in. She specializes in taking the rape kit," Dr Berry told him. "It will be a while." Nash nodded. "Call me when you're done. I'll come pick her up." "I hope you're going to get the bastard that did this," Dr Berry told him, uncharacteristically. She was passionate about helping other women. Nash nodded. "I am. And Doc? Take care of her. She's really special." Dr Berry nodded and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I will."
Endicott had been picked up from his Westgate estate and was not happy sitting in the interrogation area at the SIU at 5:30 am. He wore grey sweats and his hair was mussed, unusual for Nash to see; he'd only dealt with Endecott when he was defending some perp Nash had busted and Endecott, in three piece suit and slicked back hair, played defense attorney. "Captain Bridges, I demand to know what charges you pacing on me!" he expounded as soon as he saw Nash. "Simmer down," Nash warned. "I'll be filling you in shortly." He turned to Ronnie, who'd just come on shift. "See if anything's come back from the crime scene tech.yet." Ronnie, who hadn't even had his first cup of coffee, nodded and left the room. Nash went and sat down across from Endicott. He was incredibly calm. "Where were you last night at about eleven thirty?" "Well, obviously, since I'm here, you think you already know." "The uniformed officer read you your rights?" "He did." "And he said you've waived your right to counsel." "I'm a dammed defense attorney. I think I can handle it. Besides, I've done nothing that I need to get a lawyer for." Nash was doing a slow burn. "Most people wouldn't feel that way about assault and rape charges."
"And who the hell am I supposed to have raped? I was home." "So you didn't have dinner at Willows with Alexa Taylor?" Endicott frowned. "Yeah, I did. The maitre'd will confirm that. We left at around eleven. I dropped her off at her place. End of story. I went home." "Alone I suppose. Not a great alibi." "Look, Bridges. We may have our differences of how we make our living, but I can guarantee you one thing: I'm not a rapist." "I have a statement, not to mention a battered victim that say different." Endicott fidgeted in his seat. "Look, I.I didn't touch her. I swear! I just dropped her off. She was fine." He might have been sweating. Nash had to frown. Endicott had something in his eyes that made Nash wonder, just a little. "Bridges, this thing, how far is it gonna go? I mean, I have a career, a reputation." Nash stood up abruptly. "And Alex Taylor has a life! And a damn big part of it has been f---ed up! And I'm gonna make sure it gets back on track!" Endicott sighed and remained silent. Nash was too frustrated to go on now. He left Endicott in the custody of the uniformed officer. He went to find day shift, which was just coming on. Antwon was in early, as was his habit. "Bossman," he greeted. "You're in early." Nash sighed. "Yeah, not for good reason. I've been here half the night." "What's up?" "Alex was raped." The big black man shook his head. "Damn. I'm sorry Nash. She okay?" "She's still at the ER. I've got the suspect upstairs. It's Phillip Endicott. And he's not being real cooperative." Antewon raised his eyebrows. "Endicott? Wow. He's a big shot." "Yeah, but not to big to nail to the wall though." About that time, one of the crime scene techs came over with her reports. "We got these as soon as we could Captain." "Thanks Yvonne. Give me the highlights." "Well, we got some good prints off the bedroom door. We also got nail scrapings from the vic. Your suspect should have some claw marks on his neck or chest according to her. The rape kit is being processed." Nash looked over the file. "Alright, run Endicott's prints against these and get me a match." "Will do."
Dr Berry called Nash to let him know he could pick up Alex. Understandably, he didn't want to take her back to her apartment so instead he drove her to his place. He had brought clean clothes to the hospital for her, as hers had been taken for evidence. The ride was silent. Nash didn't know what to say. There was nothing, he knew, that he could say to make it any better. As they arrived, Alex finally spoke. "If I could have just gotten to my gun." she said wearily. "I would have killed him." Nash looked at the bruised side of her face. She would not look at him. "I know," he told her. They rode the elevator up to Nash's. Alex remembered just two weeks ago when their ride had been incredible. How things could change. Nash remembered too. Again guilt washed over him. He kept thinking perhaps had their relationship been something more, had he been more serious, this might not have happened. They walked down the steps. "Why don't you go get settled in Cassidy's old room." Neither of them had gotten any sleep. Nash wanted to get back to the SIU, but he knew Alex had been through enough. "I think everything you might need should be in the bathroom. I'll get you some pajamas." Nash got a pair of pajama bottoms and an old SFPD tee shirt from his dresser. Alex was sitting on the couch when he returned with the sleepwear. He sat beside her, although not to close, in the morning light. Finally he spoke. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly, feeling her pain and anger. She finally looked him in the eye. It was the first time since the attack. "Why did I open the door? Why didn't I have my gun? Why did I go to dinner with him? Why did I trust him?" She barraged the questions, not really expecting an answer. Her voice broke and her tears started then. She had held it together well up until then and now she could contain it no longer. She began weeping, putting her head in her hands. Nash gathered her in his arms and held her as she was wracked with sobs. He knew she had to let it all out. As the crying began to subside, Nash began to reassure her. "It wasn't your fault. This was not your fault. You're not the guilty one here." She had cried herself into exhaustion and finally laid her head on Nash's chest. He just sat, holding her, stroking her hair, until her breathing became even and he knew she was asleep. He gently gathered her up into his arms and carried her to the spare room. He put her in bed and pulled the comforter up around her. She didn't stir. He stared at her battered but still beautiful face for a few moments. He knew she blamed herself, but he blamed himself. He should have offered her more. She needed something from him and he had not been there for her. He hoped it wasn't too late.
Later after Nash had showered and changed into clean clothes, he went back to the SIU. Joe and Antewon were examining reports and staring at the computer screen. "But that doesn't make sense," Joe was saying. "What doesn't, Bubba?" Nash asked, striding over. He looked a little better, if only somewhat tired from having no sleep. "The prints at Alex's," Joe told him. "They're not Phillip Endicott's. Not a print there matches his. But the blood type is the same. And we pulled the tape from the surveillance camera in Alexa's building lobby. It shows Endecott entering the lobby at 11:41 pm. And there was skin under Alex's nails. She scratched her attacker. Phillip Endicott doesn't have a mark on him." Nash made a face as he read over the latest evidence. "Is he talking yet?" Antewon shook his head. "He's lawyered up and not speaking." "No ID at all on the prints?" "No," Antewon said. "No NCIC or AFIS records at all." Antewon drew Nash's attention to something else in Endicott's personal file. "I think Endicott's being so tight lipped because he does have one secret he's trying to keep." Antewon pulled out some photos that had been confiscated from Endicott's car. Nash looked. They were pictures of Phillip Endicott and another man, young and blond. They looked like they were on a vacation and were, in many poses, arm in arm. "Phillip Endicott's gay?" Antewon shrugged. "It sure looks that way." Nash paced with his hands behind his back. On a hunch, he snapped his fingers. "Does Endecott have any siblings?" Antewon pulled up the computer screen with Endicott's background. "Very Bingo," he answered. "Phillip Endicott has a twin brother, William. He hasn't been in the Bay area for over ten years. In fact, after high school, he appears to have dropped off the map." Antewon hit more keys on the computer keyboard. "Nothing else." "Looks like William Endicott might be back," Joe said. "Let's go talk to Endicott number one," Nash said.
Chapter Three Later..
Endicott had dismissed his lawyer while he and Nash and Joe spoke again. They told him they knew about William. Phillip shrugged. "I haven't seen my brother in maybe 15 years. I didn't want to bring him up until I found out where he was. My lawyer says he was released from Seattle Mental Facility." "And you didn't want to try and clear yourself?"
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to drag my personal life, any of it, through all this." "You mean the fact that you're gay?" Nash laid on him. Endicott looked defeated and sighed. He realized he'd left his photos in his car. "You found out about Mark." "Look, if your brother is the guilty one, and he's trying to set you up, then we're going to concentrate our efforts of putting him away, not dragging out your personal life on the six o'clock news." Phillip Endicott looked relieved. "Now, we just have to find your brother."
Nash went home to check on Alex later in the afternoon. He was functioning at about half power himself. Nick greeted his son. His companion from the Agency, Greg, was just leaving for the day. He took Nick shopping and helped out during the day while Nash was gone. "Hi Greg," Nash greeted the younger man. "Nick behave himself?" Greg laughed. He enjoyed his job and the friends he'd made of his elderly clients. "He's great Nash. You know we never get into trouble."
"Sure, Bubba. You coming tomorrow?" "Yeah, Nick wants to see a movie, so I'll be by around 2." "Thanks, Greg. See you later." Nick was browsing the paper. He glanced up at his son. "You look tired." "Didn't get much sleep last night." "Everything okay?" Nash shook his head. He told his father about Alex. "Oh, that poor woman. Is there anything I can do?" "Stay with her when I go back out," Nash told him. Nick nodded. He had grown to care about Alex, just like he did with most of Nash's other female friends. And Nick had loved Nicole like a daughter. Alexa was her sister, so he had met her already knowing he'd like her. Nash went t Cassidy's room to check on Alex and she stirred and looked up when he opened the door. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," he said, coming in. She sat up in bed. "It's okay. I've slept all day I guess," she glanced at the bedside clock which read three thirty. "You needed it." "Did you get any rest?" she asked now, concerned that because of her problems, Nash hadn't gotten any sleep. "Aw, I'm fine." He gestured to the foot of the bed. "Can I sit? I need to go over some things with you." She nodded. He sat and told her about the developments in the case, Endicott's twin and the possibilities of them finding him. Alex was stunned. "I.I would have never known, but now that you mention it, when he came up to the apartment, the sweater he was wearing might have been a little different." She thought about it for a moment. It was then that Nash's cell phone rang. "Nash." "Hey," It was Joe. "We tracked him. We have William Endecott located in a boarding house in the Haight. You want us to pick him up?" "No chances," Nash told him. "Call back up and wait for me. I'll be right there. What's the address?" Joe gave it to him. "They found him," Nash told Alex after he hung up. He got up. "Nick will stay with you. I'll be back as soon as I can." He quickly kissed her forehead.
Nash and crew had the apt. surrounded, including two uniformed officers out back in case he decided to dive out the third story window. Antewon kicked in the door. They went in, weapons drawn. Endicott seemed like he was surrendering easily, hands up, as if he'd expected them. Joe went to place him in cuffs. Suddenly, William Endicott broke away, pushing Joe and dodging Antewon. He dived for the sofa. He had a concealed handgun in the cushions. He pulled it and fired blindly. The SIU officers dived for cover and returned fire. It was all over in a matter of moments. With his wild volley, Endicott was only hoping to take out a few officers with him. His exit was quick from SIU gunfire. Endicott lay motionless, riddled with bullets. Joe took the lead and went to the body, kicking the gun from his lifeless hand. Now he looked around at his team. One of the other uniformed officers had been hit in the leg. His partner was applying pressure. Antewon was already on the radio calling for an ambulance and a coroner. Joe looked for Nash. He had thought Nash ducked around the corner into the kitchen when the gunfire started to get a line of fire on the suspect.
"Where's Nash?" he was already heading for the kitchen. Nash lay on the dirty linoleum floor, his gun still in his hand, blood pooling on the floor under his left side. "No!" Joe dropped to his knees. He felt for a pulse at Nash's neck. He found it immediately but it was irregular. "Here! Get that ambulance!" Joe pulled off his jacket and covered his friend and partner of more than 24 years. He grabbed a kitchen towel and applied it to the wound. "Come on man, hang in there," Joe told Nash. The paramedics arrived and rushed into the kitchen.
Nash was immediately taken to surgery. Joe, who'd gone with Nash as far as he could, to the OR doors made his way a little unsteadily to the waiting area. He paid no attention to the fact that his hands still had Nash's blood on them and his pants were stained as well. He used his cell phone to place the calls he had always dreaded. First he called Inger for moral support. He needed to hear her voice. "Hi honey," he said, sounding despondent and she knew immediately. "What's wrong Joe?" she asked, full of concern. "It's Nash. He's been shot." "Oh No!" she cried. "How bad is it?" "We don't know. He's in surgery." "Is there anything I can do?" Joe sighed. "Pray." After he'd hung up with his wife, he dialed Nash's home number. Nick answered. "Nick, its Joe. Is Alex there?" "Sure Joe. Hang on." Joe just couldn't bear to tell Nick, and he wanted to make sure that he would be able to get to the hospital safely. Alex got the phone. "Hello?" "Alex, its Joe. I have a patrol car on its way over. There's been a shooting. Nash is hurt." "Oh God! How bad?" "He's still in surgery. Can you make sure Nick gets here okay? I just couldn't tell him." Joe's voice was uncharacteristically weak. "It's okay Joe. We'll be there. I hear the elevator now." She hung up. Joe had to consult his small address book for Lisa's number in Paris. He dialed the international number. "Hello?" the voice sounded foggy. Of course it was like 4 am there. "Lisa?" "No, it's Cassidy. Joe is that you?"
"Yeah Cassidy. Listen; there's been an accident-" "Oh my God! It's Dad! Is he okay?" "We don't know anything yet," Joe repeated for the third time, feeling so damn helpless saying the words. "He's in surgery." "Joe, please," Cassidy begged wearily. "Be straight with me. What happened to my dad?" "He was shot. They took him right to surgery. I don't know anything else. Really." Cassidy tried to compose herself. "Ok. Okay. I'll get Mom. We'll be on the next flight I'll call you from the airport." "Be careful sweetie," Joe begged. The last thing he needed was another 'accident' on his hands. "Your dad needs you both in one piece." "We will. And Joe?" "Yeah?" "If you see him first, tell him I love him, okay?" "Of course. But you can tell him yourself when you get here," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "I will." She hung up. Joe sank into a chair. He felt weak and his hands were shaking now. He knew that all he could do as well was pray. But that didn't help.
Nash found himself walking on a beach. He wasn't sure where he was or how he got there, but the sound of the waves and the warm sand on his feet felt real enough. It seemed there was no one for miles. He kept walking, wondering. He approached a rock formation and he could hear faint music. An oldies station-playing tunes from the late 60's. "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay." The closer he got to the rocks, the louder it got. He could now make out someone sitting on one of the large rocks. He kept walking and saw it was a young man. He had a fishing pole held out over the water in a calm pool and an old radio on beside him was playing the tunes. Nash could only see his back, but he looked like a teenager in a blue and white-striped shirt and cut off jeans. Nash approached and the young man seemed to sense his presence. He put down his pole and turned, resting his hands on his knees. Nash strained to see better. It looked like.No! It couldn't be! It was impossible! It looked like Bobby! Nash suddenly remembered. The summer of his 16th year.1970. Bobby was leaving for Vietnam in two weeks. He and Nash had gone dishing on a deserted beach up the coast. They'd driven there in Bobby's car. The Cuda. It was the last real time they'd spent together. Nash had a picture at home in a book of Bobby in a blue and white striped shirt and cut off jeans holding a line of fish they'd caught. "Who." Nash began, reaching the rocks. "Who are you?" he asked the figure he now believed to be a hallucination or apparition. The teen grinned. It was that Bridges grin. His dark blond hair blew in the breeze. "I think you know Nash." "Bobby? But it's impossible.unless." he vaguely remembered the shooting, the apartment.it seemed like so long ago. "Am I dead?" "You're not dead," the Bobby-figure said, smiling. "But you're not really alive either. You're somewhere in between. You haven't made up your mind yet." Nash came as close as he dared. The Bobby figure looked real enough. The Beach Boy's song "Don't Worry Baby" playing on the old radio now sounded real enough. Nash could remember all this like it was yesterday. Nash sat on a rock near.Bobby. "Why are you here?" he asked. "To help you make your decision. And to let you know you're not alone." "Are.are you real Bobby?"
"I'm as real as you want me to be." "Am I going to die?" "That's not up to me." Nash gazed out over the ocean. "Is this what Heaven's like?" Bobby smiled. "It's much better. Better than your wildest dreams. But where you are now, you may visit some of your memories, see some old friends. It's all to help you make your choice." Nash pondered this. He realized the fishing trip with Bobby was one of his best memories of his brother. "Where's Mom?" Nash asked, almost expecting her to appear. "She's around. You may see her, you may not. She always sends her love." Nash was confused about all this, but unafraid. "Nash, use this time wisely," Bobby advised. "Not everyone gets a chance like yours. Some are just taken." "Why do I have a choice? I thought when your number was up, that was just it." "Well, some are just lucky I guess. Everyone always said you were born under a lucky star. And I think your guardian angel put in a good word. That always helps." "My.what? You mean.Angel?" Nash thought of the shabby man in fluffy wings with a heavy southern accent. Bobby smiled and nodded. "The Lord works in mysterious ways." "I'll say." Nash thought about all this. It was a lot to think about.
Harvey and Antewon arrived at the hospital at almost the same time as Nick and Alex. Nick looked ashen. Joe didn't have any more information to give to them at all. Joe hadn't seen Alex since the attack. Her face was black and blue. And he saw something else there that he hadn't seen before: she was very obviously in love with Nash. Her face revealed that to him when she asked for news. Joe couldn't give her any. They all sat to wait. And pray. And hope.
Nash found himself walking again, but this time he didn't recognize the surroundings at all. He was on a magnolia lined street with brick sidewalks and antebellum style homes. He could vaguely hear music in the distance and it sounded like.Elvis? He kept walking and saw the big gates that one would recognize anywhere having lived in the United States during the 60s and 70s. The gates to Graceland. He was in Memphis? A man stood in front of the gates, his back to Nash. He had straight leg black pants and a blue jacket, styled like the 50s. His hair was a jet black pompadour. For a moment, Nash wondered what Elvis was doing outside his own gates, but then the young man turned. "Evan?" Nash couldn't believe his eyes. Evan Cortez smiled. "It's been a while Nashman." Nash could almost remember that Evan had been killed several years ago. Shot. Killed. "Evan, am I.?" "Dead? No. But you're walking a mighty thin line my man." "Why are you here? Better yet, why am I here? I've never been to Memphis." Evan smiled again. "This is where I spend a lot of my time." "So, you're dead. And you can choose to be anywhere? Can you see people, from before, I mean? Do you remember them?" Evan and Nash began to walk into the opened gates of Graceland. "It's different Nash. I mean, I remember them, but feelings are kind of different here. I don't miss them like you think you will. You can't everything is so wonderful. There's no sadness, no wrong.its paradise." "So if I stay, everything will be fine." Evan looked at his old friend. "But do you want to stay Nash? You get to choose. I didn't. That's probably why I stay here mostly." "What do you mean? If I choose to stay, what happens?" "Nash, if you don't have anything unresolved in your life, you'll be blissfully happy. If you do, have something left undone I mean, well, you'll still be happy, but sometimes we just wander around a lot. I'm not sure where I want to be, so here I am." Nash was still confused. "So if I stay, I'll be in Heaven, right?" "As long as you know you've completed your life. If you have doubts, well, Heaven's a few miles down the road." Nash could plainly hear Elvis Presley singing "Amazing grace". "Well, what could I possibly have left to do?" Nash asked Evan. "I've raised my daughter, had a great career, I'm happy about the way most everything's turned out." "Just think about it long and hard Nash. Once you're here, there's no going back." "Are you happy Evan? Would you go back if you could? For Cassidy?" "Like I said Nash, feelings are different here. I can't really remember the feelings I had for Cassidy. I see her all the time. I talk to her. But I can't remember why. They keep telling me if I can just get out of Memphis, I can move on." Evan stared up at the great mansion of Elvis'. "But I just can't leave yet. I don't know why."
Dr Berry emerged from the surgery suite. She had heard about her friend and immediately gone up to the OR to see what was happening. Nash had one of the best surgeons the City had to offer and she knew they were doing everything they could. She knew Nash's family and friends would be waiting for information. And she had to be the one to give it to them. Joe met the Dr as she stepped into the waiting area, which was filling up. Inger had come now to join her husband and offer support. "Well?" Joe asked anxiously. Dr Berry looked at the weary faces. "He made it through the surgery," she said. Alex looked at her and knew that was the best new she would have to offer. "He has damage to the lung and the pericardium, which is the protective covering around the heart. We lost him twice on the table." Nick clutched at Alex and she held onto his arm tightly. "But he's out of the OR. His condition is critical. The next few hours will be touch and go." Joe didn't feel any more relieved than he had been moments ago. He knew his best friend's life still hung in the balance.
Nash wasn't in Memphis any longer. He found himself in a lush green field. Maybe a park. There was a pong with ducks in the distance. There was a huge oak tree in the center. He could see someone sitting under it. He tried to get there as fast as he could. Maybe he'd get some real answers. But try as he might, he could only move slowly. He tried to run, but was unable. It was like a dream where you tried to run fast but things seemed to go in slow motion. As he got closer, he could see it was a woman in a white dress. She had blond hair. His heart began to race. No! How could they do this to him! He drew closer; he saw she held a baby in her arms. Nash's hear began not only to race now but to hurt. Nicole. He drew close. It was her. So beautiful. So peaceful. "Nicole," he thought he barely whispered, but she heard and smiled. "I wasn't expecting you Nash," she said. "I.I wasn't expecting to be here.where am I anyway? Am I dead?" She shook her head. "No. Not yet. I don't think it's your time Nash." The scene before him seemed to be playing out like a movie. The baby she had been holding was now a toddler in overalls, walking unsteadily around the tree. It was a boy with sandy hair and blue eyes. "But I am here," he pointed out. "And you're here and that." he pointed. "That's our son." She nodded. "Nash, you've been given this time to choose. To choose life or death. We aren't all given this choice and you should think carefully." "Nicki, I still love you. If I die, I can be with you again. I miss you so much, it hurts." "What about the people you'll leave behind?" she waved her hand and suddenly, like another screen, Nash saw Joe, who looked sad and tired. And he saw his father, who looked distraught and older than Nash remembered him to look. Nash saw Cassidy, more beautiful than ever with her arms around her mother, Lisa, who was crying. That wasn't like Lisa. She was so strong. Why were they all so sad, he wondered? "They don't know how to believe you're not going to be with them if you stay here." Nash saw Alexa. She looked totally heartbroken. He couldn't seem to understand before the way she'd looked at him. As tears rolled down her face, he realized something he should have seen before. "Nash, you've been given one last chance for happiness. She's in love with you. As much as I was." Nash looked at Nicole and saw again the similarities between Alex and her sister. The toddler had become a boy of maybe 9 playing catch with a ball and baseball mitt on his hand. The boy looked so much like his brother Bobby had when he was that age. "I never even knew my son," Nash said to Nicole, who continued to sit under the tree, her hair blowing slightly in a cool breeze. She looked at the boy. "No. He was never born so you can visualize him any way here." "So if I stay, I can be with you both?"
"Yes. In a way. Nash, once you cross, you won't feel the same. Your love for me, for Evan, and for Jake Moss will all be equal." She spoke of a friend from college whom had been Nash's best friend who'd died in a car accident more than 25 years ago. "There is no way you can have the chances here that you have right now with your family. Your father needs you." "I have to face the facts; Nick will be here soon enough." "Cassidy needs you. She'll need you to walk her down the aisle. She'll need you to lift her veil. She'll need to hold you first born grandchild. Your partner needs you to save him from a painful and untimely death. The woman you love needs you to save her from herself. Here, we can't need you." "Do you still love me?" "Of course I do. I always will. But Nash, I love you enough to let you go. You have to be able to do the same." "So I should go back?" "It's not your time." Nash looked again at the child, who was again a baby, maybe six months old. He played on a blanket by Nicole. "Will you be here when it is my time?" "Yes Nash. We all will." Nash looked over his shoulder. He'd felt movement. The winged specter he'd come to know as Angel was standing a little behind him with a faint smile on his face. "Angel?" Nash said in surprise. "You're not dead." "No. But this is my domain. And I've come to lead you back if you choose to go." He spoke in a deep South accent Nash had come to know and love. Nash sighed. He turned again to his wife. "I miss you Nicole." "And you will. Until you let go. It becomes and changes into something more.something better every day. Wait and see." She slowly began to fade, as did the park.
"Can we see him?" Cassidy asked the doctor, who'd come out to report on Nash's condition. The doctor, knowing the outcome was grim, nodded. He led Cassidy first back into the ICU. She saw her father, the first time in months, and maybe the last time and burst into tears. She went to his side and found his hand which was not connected to IV lines. "Daddy, please don't leave me. I'm not ready for this. I still need you so much. I'm gonna need you for so many years. Daddy, I didn't even get a chance to tell you how much I love you.you've always been there for me. I took that for granted. I just.I want you back so bad." she sobbed on the rail of the bed. She knew she had to give the rest of them in the waiting room a chance to see him. She tried to pull herself together as she stood up. "I'm coming back Dad. And you better be awake." She placed a light kiss on his forehead like he'd done to her for so many years when he tucked her in bed at night. Nick came in after Cassidy had gone. He shuffled like it hurt to walk. He sat in the spot Cassidy had been. "Aw son," he sighed. He ran a hand though his hair. "It just ain't fair for a father to see his sons go before him. I lost a son. Then I lost a wife. How much more can I take before I throw in the towel? Nash, I've been damn stubborn. I know some of me is in you. Please fight son. Come back. We still need you son." Nash could see all this, as if seated on a high beam above the room. Angel sat by him. "They're hurting Nash," Angel told him in his cotton growing Southern accent. Nash nodded. "I know. But I'm so tired of fighting. It seems like life is one big battle. Why do we fight so hard Angel? Sometimes it's easier to give up." Nash was almost surprised to see Lisa come in. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She stood at the bedside and looked at the man who'd shared most of her adult life in one way or another. "Nash," she finally said. "I've lived with you for so long, I don't think I know how to live without you." She caressed his hand lightly with her fingertip. "This world would be such a boring place without you in it. You know I'll always care for you. Maybe we can't live together, but dammit Nash; I can't picture never seeing you again." Tears overwhelmed her and Lisa left the room in a rush. Nash smiled from his perch. "We have a better divorce than we had a marriage," he told Angel. Joe entered now. He came slowly and his hands clenched nervously. "Buddy," he said. He didn't speak anymore, but Nash could somehow hear what he was thinking. You've been there for me so many times. I should have been there for you. You're my best friend in the world. I can't do this alone. And Nash saw his friend wipe at the tears that were in his eyes. He just sat by Nash's bedside for awhile.
It was much later that Alex came in after Joe had left. She took Nash's hand. "I.I can't let you go right now," she said, a single tear escaping her eye. "I.there's something I haven't told you. I didn't think you were ready to hear it. Nash, I'm in love with you. I have been since the day I met you. I hope that Nicole can forgive me, but I knew even then that some day we could be together. I would have never expected it this way. God knows I loved my sister. But Nash, I have to tell you that I love you. I hope you can hear me. I don't want this to be the last time I tell you. I want you to hear it. Really hear it. Tell me." Nash looked at Angel. "I.I didn't expect that," he said, swallowing. "There are many surprises in this life," Angel told him. "And you'll only be there for them if you go back now." Nash slowly nodded. Nicole, Evan and Bobby were slowly fading back into his subconscious. All he could see and hear was Alexa, professing her love to him and crying at his bedside. Suddenly, Nash found himself back in his body, which didn't seem to be working right. When he managed to open his eyes, he saw Alex there, whispering softly to him. He found he could not speak, but he moved his fingers under her hand. Alex looked up. She saw Nash's eyes open.
Once as my heart remembers All the stars were fallen embers Once when night seemed forever I was with you.
Once when the day was dawning I was with you.
Stars shining through the darkness.
Once as the night was leaving It to us our dreams were weaving Once all dreams were worth keeping I was with you Once when our hearts were singing I was with you.
ENYA Fallen Embers
LOST
Chapter One
Alexa began handling cases for Bridges and Dominguez and in a few weeks their output had almost doubled. She worked full time on cases that Joe and Nash would normally only be able to spend a few off duty hours on. She had moved into a loft apartment only a block from the agency. Her time was well spent and the profits from the detective agency began to rise. As for a personal life, well, Alex had little time. And she knew what she wanted. Until it was available, there was nothing else. Nash and Alex hadn't seen much of each other due to their busy work schedules. They talked on the phone, but mostly about cases for the agency. After their holidays at the ski lodge, Alex wasn't sure Nash was really ready at all, or that she was even going to be able to get any closer to him at all. But they had agreed to see one another, when there was time. And Alex had figured it was about time. It was after six on a Friday evening. Nash was getting ready to leave the SIU barge. It was quiet. He was hoping for a relaxing evening after a long tough week. Just as he turned off his desk lamp, his phone rang. He debated answering, but relented to his conscious. "Nash." "Hi Nash." It was Alex. Nash's face brightened. "Well hey there. What's up?" "Oh, I'm just finishing up here and I was, uh, wondering if you had any plans for the evening?"
Nash grinned. "Well not really. What'd you have in mind?" "Maybe dinner, wine, a few candles.and maybe dessert?" Nash's grin widened. "What's for dessert?" he asked coyly. He could almost hear her smile over the phone. "Me," she said and then laughed a little. "Now that sounds like a meal I could really get into, sister. Why don't I pick you up at the office?" "I'll be waiting."
Nash walked into the detective agency. Alex had added some female touches and rearranged the furniture. It was pleasing to the eye. Especially once he entered the inner office, where just a lamp was lit, and Alex sat on the desk, legs crossed, reading the paper. She looked stunning in a white blouse, black skirt, black hose and black heels. She looked as if she'd been wearing her hair up all day and just taken it down and shaken it loose. She looked up and smiled. "Hi ya' good lookin'," Nash greeted with a smile. "Hi yourself." "I like what you've done with the place," he said, stopping to look around a moment. "Thanks. It's FengShui. Good for business." "That's no lie." He laughed. He came and stood directly in front of Alex. "You hungry?" Alex very slowly and deliberately licked her lips. "Very." She grabbed the lapels of his tan sport jacket and pulled him to her. "But not for food." She kissed him then, very passionately. Nash willingly returned the kiss and wrapped his arms around her back, placing one hand in her hair to draw her even closer. After a few moments, he broke. "Maybe we should get some food for strength?" he suggested, already a little weak in the knees from that kiss. Alex laughed. "Okay." They locked up the agency and then went to a little Italian place called Papa Joe's. All through the veal scaloppini they acted like teen agers in lust. At one point, Alex slipped off her shoe and began running her bare foot seductively over Nash's leg, working her way up. Her stocking foot caressed his thigh and finally came to rest in his lap. She immediately felt her reward for her efforts. Across the table, Nash grinned wickedly. "Careful sister," he cautioned softly. "I don't feel like being careful tonight," she said. "I feel like being very dangerous." Nash sipped his wine. "And I've got a feeling you're very good at it." They left soon after. In the Cuda, on the way back to Nash's apartment, Alex kept her word. As Nash drove, she reached over and unzipped his fly. "Good Lord, woman," Nash said, but only half seriously. Alex just smiled and before he knew it, her head was in his lap, her mouth and tongue doing marvelous things. Nash made it into his parking garage even as Alex's ministrations were making him almost delirious. They remained in the Cuda, as Alex was determined to finish what she'd started. Nash moaned in pleasure as he felt his abandoned release. Alex had a Cheshire cat grin when she finally sat up. Nash was trying to catch his breath, his heart still racing. "Damn, sister!" he exclaimed in surprise and delight. "I have rules in my car. No eating, drinking or hanky panky," he joked. "But Nash," she said coyly. "I'd never spill anything in your car."
They rode the elevator up to Nash's. They kissed and groped each other all the way. Alex was pressed up against the cage wall as Nash kissed her neck while his hand reached down and lifted her skirt. His hand caressed her bare hip. He discovered she wore a thong and garter belt under her conservative dress. When the elevator stopped, Alex made a motion to straighten herself, knowing Nick was probably up. "Don't worry," Nash said, opening the gate. "Nick has ballroom dance class on Fridays." They got off the elevator and Nash lifted Alexa up to the pool table. He sat her there and stood between her thighs. His mouth explored hers while he unbuttoned her blouse. He unclasped her lacy white bra. Both her blouse and bra got discarded on the pool table. Alex wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and this way, Nash carried her to his bedroom. Her shoes fell off somewhere in between.
Later, Nick came in from his class. He got off the elevator. There was a woman's white silk shirt and a lacy brassiere on the pool table. Nick raised an eyebrow. He went down the steps into the living room. He saw a black high heeled shoe in the living room and another one near Nash's closed bedroom door. Nick grinned. "You go, son," he said softly. At least someone around here was getting some female companionship.
Very much later Nash lay exhausted by an equally exhausted Alexa. She was tucked into his shoulder. "You have no idea how much I needed that," Nash told her. She smiled. "You an me both." He was a little uneasy about the twists and turns their 'relationship' was taking. "Are we, uh, still." he began, but didn't know what words to use. "If you're asking has anything changed? No. Like I told you that night Nash, I'm not looking for commitments or long term relationships. I can be as much or as little as you need." "It just sounds a little too easy." "It's not easy. It's just simpler. Right now. We're just good friends. And friends ought to be able to take care of each other, right?" Nash considered all this. "Alex?" "Yeah?"
"You're a hell of a friend." She smiled.
CHAPTER TWO
TWO WEEKS LATER It was late. Nash was soundly sleeping after another long day. He'd read a chapter in his latest Tom Clancy novel over a glass of port and then clicked off his bed side lamp. He'd fallen asleep almost immediately. The ringing phone woke him. The bright green glow of the clock showed 1:52 AM. Nash fumbled for the phone. "Nash," he answered wearily. A sob choked on the line. Nash began to come awake. "Hello?" he tried again "Nash." "Alex? Is that you?" Adrenaline began to rush to his extremities. "Nash.help me..help me." she begged, her voice catching and breaking off between sobs. Nash came out of bed. "Alex, what's wrong? Where are you?"
"I.I'm at home.I think he's gone." Nash cussed. "I'm on my way. Hang up. Call 911. I'll be right there!" He was already pulling on jeans and running shoes. He left on the sweatshirt he'd fallen asleep in. He grabbed a jacket and his holster.
Nash called for backup on his way to Alexa's place. He had a good idea what had happened by the way that she sounded. He was first on scene. He used his key to let himself into her apartment. He held his gun ready. In the living room, a lamp was toppled and a chair overturned. He made his way inside, looking for anyone, including Alex. "Alex?" he called. He made his way toward the bedroom. A broken picture lay on the hall floor from where it had fallen off the wall. He stepped around the broken glass. The bedroom door was half-open and the wood splintered around the knob, like it had been kicked open. "Alex?" he called again. "It's Nash." He went in. Alexa was on the floor beside her bed. A sheet was wrapped around her. Blood was dried on her lower lip and the left side of her face was swollen. The phone was in her hand. Nash cursed again and stuck his gun into his shoulder holster. He went to her and knelt down. Her eyes were vacant. She looked right through him. "How long has he been gone?" A tear rolled down her cheek. "M.maybe half an hour." "Do you know him?" Alex nodded. She looked past Nash, at the wall. "We went to dinner. He said he wanted to thank me. Afterwards, he wanted to come up. I said no." she choked back a sob. "About ten minutes later, he knocked on the door.said he'd had car trouble.his cell phone was dead, could he use the phone?" her voice, flat, broke as her tears fell. "He came inside and.he just attacked me like an animal." Nash took her protectively in his arms as she began to sob uncontrollably. He could hear sirens nearing. "Who was it Alex?" "Phillip Endicott." Nash was shocked. Endicott was a very prominent defense attorney. He was a shady guy, but what lawyers weren't? Nash figured. But this? He was furious.
Nash went with Alex to the hospital. He'd called Dr Berry and woken her up as well. But he wanted the best for Alex and he wanted the best evidence to be able to prosecute the slime that had done this. He paced outside the ED while Dr Berry made an initial evaluation. She came out to speak with him. A female officer was also standing by. "I have a specialist, a nurse coming in. She specializes in taking the rape kit," Dr Berry told him. "It will be a while." Nash nodded. "Call me when you're done. I'll come pick her up." "I hope you're going to get the bastard that did this," Dr Berry told him, uncharacteristically. She was passionate about helping other women. Nash nodded. "I am. And Doc? Take care of her. She's really special." Dr Berry nodded and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I will."
Endicott had been picked up from his Westgate estate and was not happy sitting in the interrogation area at the SIU at 5:30 am. He wore grey sweats and his hair was mussed, unusual for Nash to see; he'd only dealt with Endecott when he was defending some perp Nash had busted and Endecott, in three piece suit and slicked back hair, played defense attorney. "Captain Bridges, I demand to know what charges you pacing on me!" he expounded as soon as he saw Nash. "Simmer down," Nash warned. "I'll be filling you in shortly." He turned to Ronnie, who'd just come on shift. "See if anything's come back from the crime scene tech.yet." Ronnie, who hadn't even had his first cup of coffee, nodded and left the room. Nash went and sat down across from Endicott. He was incredibly calm. "Where were you last night at about eleven thirty?" "Well, obviously, since I'm here, you think you already know." "The uniformed officer read you your rights?" "He did." "And he said you've waived your right to counsel." "I'm a dammed defense attorney. I think I can handle it. Besides, I've done nothing that I need to get a lawyer for." Nash was doing a slow burn. "Most people wouldn't feel that way about assault and rape charges."
"And who the hell am I supposed to have raped? I was home." "So you didn't have dinner at Willows with Alexa Taylor?" Endicott frowned. "Yeah, I did. The maitre'd will confirm that. We left at around eleven. I dropped her off at her place. End of story. I went home." "Alone I suppose. Not a great alibi." "Look, Bridges. We may have our differences of how we make our living, but I can guarantee you one thing: I'm not a rapist." "I have a statement, not to mention a battered victim that say different." Endicott fidgeted in his seat. "Look, I.I didn't touch her. I swear! I just dropped her off. She was fine." He might have been sweating. Nash had to frown. Endicott had something in his eyes that made Nash wonder, just a little. "Bridges, this thing, how far is it gonna go? I mean, I have a career, a reputation." Nash stood up abruptly. "And Alex Taylor has a life! And a damn big part of it has been f---ed up! And I'm gonna make sure it gets back on track!" Endicott sighed and remained silent. Nash was too frustrated to go on now. He left Endicott in the custody of the uniformed officer. He went to find day shift, which was just coming on. Antwon was in early, as was his habit. "Bossman," he greeted. "You're in early." Nash sighed. "Yeah, not for good reason. I've been here half the night." "What's up?" "Alex was raped." The big black man shook his head. "Damn. I'm sorry Nash. She okay?" "She's still at the ER. I've got the suspect upstairs. It's Phillip Endicott. And he's not being real cooperative." Antewon raised his eyebrows. "Endicott? Wow. He's a big shot." "Yeah, but not to big to nail to the wall though." About that time, one of the crime scene techs came over with her reports. "We got these as soon as we could Captain." "Thanks Yvonne. Give me the highlights." "Well, we got some good prints off the bedroom door. We also got nail scrapings from the vic. Your suspect should have some claw marks on his neck or chest according to her. The rape kit is being processed." Nash looked over the file. "Alright, run Endicott's prints against these and get me a match." "Will do."
Dr Berry called Nash to let him know he could pick up Alex. Understandably, he didn't want to take her back to her apartment so instead he drove her to his place. He had brought clean clothes to the hospital for her, as hers had been taken for evidence. The ride was silent. Nash didn't know what to say. There was nothing, he knew, that he could say to make it any better. As they arrived, Alex finally spoke. "If I could have just gotten to my gun." she said wearily. "I would have killed him." Nash looked at the bruised side of her face. She would not look at him. "I know," he told her. They rode the elevator up to Nash's. Alex remembered just two weeks ago when their ride had been incredible. How things could change. Nash remembered too. Again guilt washed over him. He kept thinking perhaps had their relationship been something more, had he been more serious, this might not have happened. They walked down the steps. "Why don't you go get settled in Cassidy's old room." Neither of them had gotten any sleep. Nash wanted to get back to the SIU, but he knew Alex had been through enough. "I think everything you might need should be in the bathroom. I'll get you some pajamas." Nash got a pair of pajama bottoms and an old SFPD tee shirt from his dresser. Alex was sitting on the couch when he returned with the sleepwear. He sat beside her, although not to close, in the morning light. Finally he spoke. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly, feeling her pain and anger. She finally looked him in the eye. It was the first time since the attack. "Why did I open the door? Why didn't I have my gun? Why did I go to dinner with him? Why did I trust him?" She barraged the questions, not really expecting an answer. Her voice broke and her tears started then. She had held it together well up until then and now she could contain it no longer. She began weeping, putting her head in her hands. Nash gathered her in his arms and held her as she was wracked with sobs. He knew she had to let it all out. As the crying began to subside, Nash began to reassure her. "It wasn't your fault. This was not your fault. You're not the guilty one here." She had cried herself into exhaustion and finally laid her head on Nash's chest. He just sat, holding her, stroking her hair, until her breathing became even and he knew she was asleep. He gently gathered her up into his arms and carried her to the spare room. He put her in bed and pulled the comforter up around her. She didn't stir. He stared at her battered but still beautiful face for a few moments. He knew she blamed herself, but he blamed himself. He should have offered her more. She needed something from him and he had not been there for her. He hoped it wasn't too late.
Later after Nash had showered and changed into clean clothes, he went back to the SIU. Joe and Antewon were examining reports and staring at the computer screen. "But that doesn't make sense," Joe was saying. "What doesn't, Bubba?" Nash asked, striding over. He looked a little better, if only somewhat tired from having no sleep. "The prints at Alex's," Joe told him. "They're not Phillip Endicott's. Not a print there matches his. But the blood type is the same. And we pulled the tape from the surveillance camera in Alexa's building lobby. It shows Endecott entering the lobby at 11:41 pm. And there was skin under Alex's nails. She scratched her attacker. Phillip Endicott doesn't have a mark on him." Nash made a face as he read over the latest evidence. "Is he talking yet?" Antewon shook his head. "He's lawyered up and not speaking." "No ID at all on the prints?" "No," Antewon said. "No NCIC or AFIS records at all." Antewon drew Nash's attention to something else in Endicott's personal file. "I think Endicott's being so tight lipped because he does have one secret he's trying to keep." Antewon pulled out some photos that had been confiscated from Endicott's car. Nash looked. They were pictures of Phillip Endicott and another man, young and blond. They looked like they were on a vacation and were, in many poses, arm in arm. "Phillip Endicott's gay?" Antewon shrugged. "It sure looks that way." Nash paced with his hands behind his back. On a hunch, he snapped his fingers. "Does Endecott have any siblings?" Antewon pulled up the computer screen with Endicott's background. "Very Bingo," he answered. "Phillip Endicott has a twin brother, William. He hasn't been in the Bay area for over ten years. In fact, after high school, he appears to have dropped off the map." Antewon hit more keys on the computer keyboard. "Nothing else." "Looks like William Endicott might be back," Joe said. "Let's go talk to Endicott number one," Nash said.
Chapter Three Later..
Endicott had dismissed his lawyer while he and Nash and Joe spoke again. They told him they knew about William. Phillip shrugged. "I haven't seen my brother in maybe 15 years. I didn't want to bring him up until I found out where he was. My lawyer says he was released from Seattle Mental Facility." "And you didn't want to try and clear yourself?"
"I was hoping I wouldn't have to drag my personal life, any of it, through all this." "You mean the fact that you're gay?" Nash laid on him. Endicott looked defeated and sighed. He realized he'd left his photos in his car. "You found out about Mark." "Look, if your brother is the guilty one, and he's trying to set you up, then we're going to concentrate our efforts of putting him away, not dragging out your personal life on the six o'clock news." Phillip Endicott looked relieved. "Now, we just have to find your brother."
Nash went home to check on Alex later in the afternoon. He was functioning at about half power himself. Nick greeted his son. His companion from the Agency, Greg, was just leaving for the day. He took Nick shopping and helped out during the day while Nash was gone. "Hi Greg," Nash greeted the younger man. "Nick behave himself?" Greg laughed. He enjoyed his job and the friends he'd made of his elderly clients. "He's great Nash. You know we never get into trouble."
"Sure, Bubba. You coming tomorrow?" "Yeah, Nick wants to see a movie, so I'll be by around 2." "Thanks, Greg. See you later." Nick was browsing the paper. He glanced up at his son. "You look tired." "Didn't get much sleep last night." "Everything okay?" Nash shook his head. He told his father about Alex. "Oh, that poor woman. Is there anything I can do?" "Stay with her when I go back out," Nash told him. Nick nodded. He had grown to care about Alex, just like he did with most of Nash's other female friends. And Nick had loved Nicole like a daughter. Alexa was her sister, so he had met her already knowing he'd like her. Nash went t Cassidy's room to check on Alex and she stirred and looked up when he opened the door. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," he said, coming in. She sat up in bed. "It's okay. I've slept all day I guess," she glanced at the bedside clock which read three thirty. "You needed it." "Did you get any rest?" she asked now, concerned that because of her problems, Nash hadn't gotten any sleep. "Aw, I'm fine." He gestured to the foot of the bed. "Can I sit? I need to go over some things with you." She nodded. He sat and told her about the developments in the case, Endicott's twin and the possibilities of them finding him. Alex was stunned. "I.I would have never known, but now that you mention it, when he came up to the apartment, the sweater he was wearing might have been a little different." She thought about it for a moment. It was then that Nash's cell phone rang. "Nash." "Hey," It was Joe. "We tracked him. We have William Endecott located in a boarding house in the Haight. You want us to pick him up?" "No chances," Nash told him. "Call back up and wait for me. I'll be right there. What's the address?" Joe gave it to him. "They found him," Nash told Alex after he hung up. He got up. "Nick will stay with you. I'll be back as soon as I can." He quickly kissed her forehead.
Nash and crew had the apt. surrounded, including two uniformed officers out back in case he decided to dive out the third story window. Antewon kicked in the door. They went in, weapons drawn. Endicott seemed like he was surrendering easily, hands up, as if he'd expected them. Joe went to place him in cuffs. Suddenly, William Endicott broke away, pushing Joe and dodging Antewon. He dived for the sofa. He had a concealed handgun in the cushions. He pulled it and fired blindly. The SIU officers dived for cover and returned fire. It was all over in a matter of moments. With his wild volley, Endicott was only hoping to take out a few officers with him. His exit was quick from SIU gunfire. Endicott lay motionless, riddled with bullets. Joe took the lead and went to the body, kicking the gun from his lifeless hand. Now he looked around at his team. One of the other uniformed officers had been hit in the leg. His partner was applying pressure. Antewon was already on the radio calling for an ambulance and a coroner. Joe looked for Nash. He had thought Nash ducked around the corner into the kitchen when the gunfire started to get a line of fire on the suspect.
"Where's Nash?" he was already heading for the kitchen. Nash lay on the dirty linoleum floor, his gun still in his hand, blood pooling on the floor under his left side. "No!" Joe dropped to his knees. He felt for a pulse at Nash's neck. He found it immediately but it was irregular. "Here! Get that ambulance!" Joe pulled off his jacket and covered his friend and partner of more than 24 years. He grabbed a kitchen towel and applied it to the wound. "Come on man, hang in there," Joe told Nash. The paramedics arrived and rushed into the kitchen.
Nash was immediately taken to surgery. Joe, who'd gone with Nash as far as he could, to the OR doors made his way a little unsteadily to the waiting area. He paid no attention to the fact that his hands still had Nash's blood on them and his pants were stained as well. He used his cell phone to place the calls he had always dreaded. First he called Inger for moral support. He needed to hear her voice. "Hi honey," he said, sounding despondent and she knew immediately. "What's wrong Joe?" she asked, full of concern. "It's Nash. He's been shot." "Oh No!" she cried. "How bad is it?" "We don't know. He's in surgery." "Is there anything I can do?" Joe sighed. "Pray." After he'd hung up with his wife, he dialed Nash's home number. Nick answered. "Nick, its Joe. Is Alex there?" "Sure Joe. Hang on." Joe just couldn't bear to tell Nick, and he wanted to make sure that he would be able to get to the hospital safely. Alex got the phone. "Hello?" "Alex, its Joe. I have a patrol car on its way over. There's been a shooting. Nash is hurt." "Oh God! How bad?" "He's still in surgery. Can you make sure Nick gets here okay? I just couldn't tell him." Joe's voice was uncharacteristically weak. "It's okay Joe. We'll be there. I hear the elevator now." She hung up. Joe had to consult his small address book for Lisa's number in Paris. He dialed the international number. "Hello?" the voice sounded foggy. Of course it was like 4 am there. "Lisa?" "No, it's Cassidy. Joe is that you?"
"Yeah Cassidy. Listen; there's been an accident-" "Oh my God! It's Dad! Is he okay?" "We don't know anything yet," Joe repeated for the third time, feeling so damn helpless saying the words. "He's in surgery." "Joe, please," Cassidy begged wearily. "Be straight with me. What happened to my dad?" "He was shot. They took him right to surgery. I don't know anything else. Really." Cassidy tried to compose herself. "Ok. Okay. I'll get Mom. We'll be on the next flight I'll call you from the airport." "Be careful sweetie," Joe begged. The last thing he needed was another 'accident' on his hands. "Your dad needs you both in one piece." "We will. And Joe?" "Yeah?" "If you see him first, tell him I love him, okay?" "Of course. But you can tell him yourself when you get here," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "I will." She hung up. Joe sank into a chair. He felt weak and his hands were shaking now. He knew that all he could do as well was pray. But that didn't help.
Nash found himself walking on a beach. He wasn't sure where he was or how he got there, but the sound of the waves and the warm sand on his feet felt real enough. It seemed there was no one for miles. He kept walking, wondering. He approached a rock formation and he could hear faint music. An oldies station-playing tunes from the late 60's. "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay." The closer he got to the rocks, the louder it got. He could now make out someone sitting on one of the large rocks. He kept walking and saw it was a young man. He had a fishing pole held out over the water in a calm pool and an old radio on beside him was playing the tunes. Nash could only see his back, but he looked like a teenager in a blue and white-striped shirt and cut off jeans. Nash approached and the young man seemed to sense his presence. He put down his pole and turned, resting his hands on his knees. Nash strained to see better. It looked like.No! It couldn't be! It was impossible! It looked like Bobby! Nash suddenly remembered. The summer of his 16th year.1970. Bobby was leaving for Vietnam in two weeks. He and Nash had gone dishing on a deserted beach up the coast. They'd driven there in Bobby's car. The Cuda. It was the last real time they'd spent together. Nash had a picture at home in a book of Bobby in a blue and white striped shirt and cut off jeans holding a line of fish they'd caught. "Who." Nash began, reaching the rocks. "Who are you?" he asked the figure he now believed to be a hallucination or apparition. The teen grinned. It was that Bridges grin. His dark blond hair blew in the breeze. "I think you know Nash." "Bobby? But it's impossible.unless." he vaguely remembered the shooting, the apartment.it seemed like so long ago. "Am I dead?" "You're not dead," the Bobby-figure said, smiling. "But you're not really alive either. You're somewhere in between. You haven't made up your mind yet." Nash came as close as he dared. The Bobby figure looked real enough. The Beach Boy's song "Don't Worry Baby" playing on the old radio now sounded real enough. Nash could remember all this like it was yesterday. Nash sat on a rock near.Bobby. "Why are you here?" he asked. "To help you make your decision. And to let you know you're not alone." "Are.are you real Bobby?"
"I'm as real as you want me to be." "Am I going to die?" "That's not up to me." Nash gazed out over the ocean. "Is this what Heaven's like?" Bobby smiled. "It's much better. Better than your wildest dreams. But where you are now, you may visit some of your memories, see some old friends. It's all to help you make your choice." Nash pondered this. He realized the fishing trip with Bobby was one of his best memories of his brother. "Where's Mom?" Nash asked, almost expecting her to appear. "She's around. You may see her, you may not. She always sends her love." Nash was confused about all this, but unafraid. "Nash, use this time wisely," Bobby advised. "Not everyone gets a chance like yours. Some are just taken." "Why do I have a choice? I thought when your number was up, that was just it." "Well, some are just lucky I guess. Everyone always said you were born under a lucky star. And I think your guardian angel put in a good word. That always helps." "My.what? You mean.Angel?" Nash thought of the shabby man in fluffy wings with a heavy southern accent. Bobby smiled and nodded. "The Lord works in mysterious ways." "I'll say." Nash thought about all this. It was a lot to think about.
Harvey and Antewon arrived at the hospital at almost the same time as Nick and Alex. Nick looked ashen. Joe didn't have any more information to give to them at all. Joe hadn't seen Alex since the attack. Her face was black and blue. And he saw something else there that he hadn't seen before: she was very obviously in love with Nash. Her face revealed that to him when she asked for news. Joe couldn't give her any. They all sat to wait. And pray. And hope.
Nash found himself walking again, but this time he didn't recognize the surroundings at all. He was on a magnolia lined street with brick sidewalks and antebellum style homes. He could vaguely hear music in the distance and it sounded like.Elvis? He kept walking and saw the big gates that one would recognize anywhere having lived in the United States during the 60s and 70s. The gates to Graceland. He was in Memphis? A man stood in front of the gates, his back to Nash. He had straight leg black pants and a blue jacket, styled like the 50s. His hair was a jet black pompadour. For a moment, Nash wondered what Elvis was doing outside his own gates, but then the young man turned. "Evan?" Nash couldn't believe his eyes. Evan Cortez smiled. "It's been a while Nashman." Nash could almost remember that Evan had been killed several years ago. Shot. Killed. "Evan, am I.?" "Dead? No. But you're walking a mighty thin line my man." "Why are you here? Better yet, why am I here? I've never been to Memphis." Evan smiled again. "This is where I spend a lot of my time." "So, you're dead. And you can choose to be anywhere? Can you see people, from before, I mean? Do you remember them?" Evan and Nash began to walk into the opened gates of Graceland. "It's different Nash. I mean, I remember them, but feelings are kind of different here. I don't miss them like you think you will. You can't everything is so wonderful. There's no sadness, no wrong.its paradise." "So if I stay, everything will be fine." Evan looked at his old friend. "But do you want to stay Nash? You get to choose. I didn't. That's probably why I stay here mostly." "What do you mean? If I choose to stay, what happens?" "Nash, if you don't have anything unresolved in your life, you'll be blissfully happy. If you do, have something left undone I mean, well, you'll still be happy, but sometimes we just wander around a lot. I'm not sure where I want to be, so here I am." Nash was still confused. "So if I stay, I'll be in Heaven, right?" "As long as you know you've completed your life. If you have doubts, well, Heaven's a few miles down the road." Nash could plainly hear Elvis Presley singing "Amazing grace". "Well, what could I possibly have left to do?" Nash asked Evan. "I've raised my daughter, had a great career, I'm happy about the way most everything's turned out." "Just think about it long and hard Nash. Once you're here, there's no going back." "Are you happy Evan? Would you go back if you could? For Cassidy?" "Like I said Nash, feelings are different here. I can't really remember the feelings I had for Cassidy. I see her all the time. I talk to her. But I can't remember why. They keep telling me if I can just get out of Memphis, I can move on." Evan stared up at the great mansion of Elvis'. "But I just can't leave yet. I don't know why."
Dr Berry emerged from the surgery suite. She had heard about her friend and immediately gone up to the OR to see what was happening. Nash had one of the best surgeons the City had to offer and she knew they were doing everything they could. She knew Nash's family and friends would be waiting for information. And she had to be the one to give it to them. Joe met the Dr as she stepped into the waiting area, which was filling up. Inger had come now to join her husband and offer support. "Well?" Joe asked anxiously. Dr Berry looked at the weary faces. "He made it through the surgery," she said. Alex looked at her and knew that was the best new she would have to offer. "He has damage to the lung and the pericardium, which is the protective covering around the heart. We lost him twice on the table." Nick clutched at Alex and she held onto his arm tightly. "But he's out of the OR. His condition is critical. The next few hours will be touch and go." Joe didn't feel any more relieved than he had been moments ago. He knew his best friend's life still hung in the balance.
Nash wasn't in Memphis any longer. He found himself in a lush green field. Maybe a park. There was a pong with ducks in the distance. There was a huge oak tree in the center. He could see someone sitting under it. He tried to get there as fast as he could. Maybe he'd get some real answers. But try as he might, he could only move slowly. He tried to run, but was unable. It was like a dream where you tried to run fast but things seemed to go in slow motion. As he got closer, he could see it was a woman in a white dress. She had blond hair. His heart began to race. No! How could they do this to him! He drew closer; he saw she held a baby in her arms. Nash's hear began not only to race now but to hurt. Nicole. He drew close. It was her. So beautiful. So peaceful. "Nicole," he thought he barely whispered, but she heard and smiled. "I wasn't expecting you Nash," she said. "I.I wasn't expecting to be here.where am I anyway? Am I dead?" She shook her head. "No. Not yet. I don't think it's your time Nash." The scene before him seemed to be playing out like a movie. The baby she had been holding was now a toddler in overalls, walking unsteadily around the tree. It was a boy with sandy hair and blue eyes. "But I am here," he pointed out. "And you're here and that." he pointed. "That's our son." She nodded. "Nash, you've been given this time to choose. To choose life or death. We aren't all given this choice and you should think carefully." "Nicki, I still love you. If I die, I can be with you again. I miss you so much, it hurts." "What about the people you'll leave behind?" she waved her hand and suddenly, like another screen, Nash saw Joe, who looked sad and tired. And he saw his father, who looked distraught and older than Nash remembered him to look. Nash saw Cassidy, more beautiful than ever with her arms around her mother, Lisa, who was crying. That wasn't like Lisa. She was so strong. Why were they all so sad, he wondered? "They don't know how to believe you're not going to be with them if you stay here." Nash saw Alexa. She looked totally heartbroken. He couldn't seem to understand before the way she'd looked at him. As tears rolled down her face, he realized something he should have seen before. "Nash, you've been given one last chance for happiness. She's in love with you. As much as I was." Nash looked at Nicole and saw again the similarities between Alex and her sister. The toddler had become a boy of maybe 9 playing catch with a ball and baseball mitt on his hand. The boy looked so much like his brother Bobby had when he was that age. "I never even knew my son," Nash said to Nicole, who continued to sit under the tree, her hair blowing slightly in a cool breeze. She looked at the boy. "No. He was never born so you can visualize him any way here." "So if I stay, I can be with you both?"
"Yes. In a way. Nash, once you cross, you won't feel the same. Your love for me, for Evan, and for Jake Moss will all be equal." She spoke of a friend from college whom had been Nash's best friend who'd died in a car accident more than 25 years ago. "There is no way you can have the chances here that you have right now with your family. Your father needs you." "I have to face the facts; Nick will be here soon enough." "Cassidy needs you. She'll need you to walk her down the aisle. She'll need you to lift her veil. She'll need to hold you first born grandchild. Your partner needs you to save him from a painful and untimely death. The woman you love needs you to save her from herself. Here, we can't need you." "Do you still love me?" "Of course I do. I always will. But Nash, I love you enough to let you go. You have to be able to do the same." "So I should go back?" "It's not your time." Nash looked again at the child, who was again a baby, maybe six months old. He played on a blanket by Nicole. "Will you be here when it is my time?" "Yes Nash. We all will." Nash looked over his shoulder. He'd felt movement. The winged specter he'd come to know as Angel was standing a little behind him with a faint smile on his face. "Angel?" Nash said in surprise. "You're not dead." "No. But this is my domain. And I've come to lead you back if you choose to go." He spoke in a deep South accent Nash had come to know and love. Nash sighed. He turned again to his wife. "I miss you Nicole." "And you will. Until you let go. It becomes and changes into something more.something better every day. Wait and see." She slowly began to fade, as did the park.
"Can we see him?" Cassidy asked the doctor, who'd come out to report on Nash's condition. The doctor, knowing the outcome was grim, nodded. He led Cassidy first back into the ICU. She saw her father, the first time in months, and maybe the last time and burst into tears. She went to his side and found his hand which was not connected to IV lines. "Daddy, please don't leave me. I'm not ready for this. I still need you so much. I'm gonna need you for so many years. Daddy, I didn't even get a chance to tell you how much I love you.you've always been there for me. I took that for granted. I just.I want you back so bad." she sobbed on the rail of the bed. She knew she had to give the rest of them in the waiting room a chance to see him. She tried to pull herself together as she stood up. "I'm coming back Dad. And you better be awake." She placed a light kiss on his forehead like he'd done to her for so many years when he tucked her in bed at night. Nick came in after Cassidy had gone. He shuffled like it hurt to walk. He sat in the spot Cassidy had been. "Aw son," he sighed. He ran a hand though his hair. "It just ain't fair for a father to see his sons go before him. I lost a son. Then I lost a wife. How much more can I take before I throw in the towel? Nash, I've been damn stubborn. I know some of me is in you. Please fight son. Come back. We still need you son." Nash could see all this, as if seated on a high beam above the room. Angel sat by him. "They're hurting Nash," Angel told him in his cotton growing Southern accent. Nash nodded. "I know. But I'm so tired of fighting. It seems like life is one big battle. Why do we fight so hard Angel? Sometimes it's easier to give up." Nash was almost surprised to see Lisa come in. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She stood at the bedside and looked at the man who'd shared most of her adult life in one way or another. "Nash," she finally said. "I've lived with you for so long, I don't think I know how to live without you." She caressed his hand lightly with her fingertip. "This world would be such a boring place without you in it. You know I'll always care for you. Maybe we can't live together, but dammit Nash; I can't picture never seeing you again." Tears overwhelmed her and Lisa left the room in a rush. Nash smiled from his perch. "We have a better divorce than we had a marriage," he told Angel. Joe entered now. He came slowly and his hands clenched nervously. "Buddy," he said. He didn't speak anymore, but Nash could somehow hear what he was thinking. You've been there for me so many times. I should have been there for you. You're my best friend in the world. I can't do this alone. And Nash saw his friend wipe at the tears that were in his eyes. He just sat by Nash's bedside for awhile.
It was much later that Alex came in after Joe had left. She took Nash's hand. "I.I can't let you go right now," she said, a single tear escaping her eye. "I.there's something I haven't told you. I didn't think you were ready to hear it. Nash, I'm in love with you. I have been since the day I met you. I hope that Nicole can forgive me, but I knew even then that some day we could be together. I would have never expected it this way. God knows I loved my sister. But Nash, I have to tell you that I love you. I hope you can hear me. I don't want this to be the last time I tell you. I want you to hear it. Really hear it. Tell me." Nash looked at Angel. "I.I didn't expect that," he said, swallowing. "There are many surprises in this life," Angel told him. "And you'll only be there for them if you go back now." Nash slowly nodded. Nicole, Evan and Bobby were slowly fading back into his subconscious. All he could see and hear was Alexa, professing her love to him and crying at his bedside. Suddenly, Nash found himself back in his body, which didn't seem to be working right. When he managed to open his eyes, he saw Alex there, whispering softly to him. He found he could not speak, but he moved his fingers under her hand. Alex looked up. She saw Nash's eyes open.
Once as my heart remembers All the stars were fallen embers Once when night seemed forever I was with you.
Once when the day was dawning I was with you.
Stars shining through the darkness.
Once as the night was leaving It to us our dreams were weaving Once all dreams were worth keeping I was with you Once when our hearts were singing I was with you.
ENYA Fallen Embers