Stiles and His Jeep - A Sex Story
It was a cold and dark and rainy and cloudy and cold and dreary and cold, dark night. Stiles was on his way to College University after he had just said "Bye-bye" to Scott at the end of season 6-A. But something was different about this cold, dark, rainy, cloudy, hot, wet night. Stiles was finally back in his Jeep after dumping Scott off unconscious in the middle of the woods and he was so horny.
"Did you miss me, Roscoe?" Stiles asked his Jeep. "I sure missed you." Stiles gently passed his hand over the well-worn steering wheel. His hand grasp the firm wheel tighter and gently squeezed. The Jeep let out a erotic moan. "That's right, baby," Stiles said erotically. You like that don't you?" Stiles' fingers, gliding gently over the sexy black wheel, caused the Jeep to suddenly swerve off the road with pleasure. "Woah, there hot cakes! We haven't even gotten started yet. Stiles' hand slowly moved down to the air conditioning knob. He traced the outline of the plastic, turning it on. Soon the condensation of the AC made the car so wet. Feeling the Jeep was ready for more hot action Stiles grasp the gear shift with his strong, manly hands. Up and down Stiles caressed the gear shift - faster, slower, faster, faster, faster… The Jeep began to shiver with ecstasy. This woke up Malia who was sleeping in the back seat. She popped her head up and said, "Anybody care if I join this party?" Stiles screamed at her, "Get out! We broke UUUP! Deal with it!" A disappointed Malia transformed into a coyote and leapt from the Jeep as Stiles screamed after her, "Stydia forever!"
It was time to get down to business, so Stiles pulled off to the side of the road so he could take care of business. Stiles stared into the dashboard as his head lowered towards the gear shift and his mouth opened. His tongue circled the tip of the sexy black plastic or vinyl or whatever before engulfing the whole thing down his throat. He pleasured the Jeep for what seemed like a wet, hot eternity. While his mouth moved up and down the gear shift, Stiles' hand reached below and started playing with the keys dangling just underneath. Pleasure rocked throughout the vehicle. Finally, when it couldn't take any more, the hood of the jeep flew open and transmission fluid spurted out of it like a volcano. Then the Jeep laid perfectly still, it's primal urges finally abated.
Stiles, however, wasn't finished yet. This happened to be the anniversary of when he first got the Jeep. It was 18 years, 2 months, and 8 days since he had first set his newborn baby eyes on this sexy beast at Carson's Cars and Sons in Beacon Hills, the setting of the popular TV show, Teen Wolf. Tonight, the Jeep was finally going to allow him to do something he'd been dreaming about for years. Stiles slipped out the door and made his way to the back of the Jeep. The Jeep tensed up a bit as Stiles undid his fly. The teenage heartthrob firmly grasp the side of the Jeep as he entered the exhaust shaft. Taking the Jeep from behind, Stiles pounded harder and harder while the cold, rusty metal tore into his flesh. The exhaust shaft was so much tighter, but felt so much better. Within seconds Stiles had finished and he and the Jeep just cuddled on the side of the road standing in wet, unhardened concrete. Stiles moved his head closer to his beloved and quietly whispered, "I love you, Lydia."
Finally satisfied, the Jeep trasmorphigated back into Lydia. Stiles and Lydia kissed with the passion of a thousand alien moons. "Lydia," Stiles began. "I'm so glad one of your banshee powers is the ability to be a transformer. I wonder why we didn't use that totally canon power these past few years."
"Speaking of canons," Lydia said ripping open her shirt, "How do you like these canons!?"
Stiles stared at them longingly. "There not as nice as Derek's, but there okay."
Off in the distance Derek stood behind a tree - watching… waiting…
Then out of nowhere, Michael Keaton jumped out of the woods! Stiles pulled out his gun and was all like Blam! Blam! Blam! Then he took Lydia in his arms, spun her around and kissed her. Then he looked up and said, "American Assassin!" Lydia was so turned on that she gave Stiles the greatest high-five the world had ever seen.