Disclaimer: I own nothing.
FANART
The meeting had been scheduled in a hurry, such a hurry that Vegeta barely had the time to get out of the pod before being ushered into a surgically white meeting room. As he sat himself at the far end of the table that occupied most of the available space, taking one of the few chairs still free, he took notice of the other attendees: Zarbon, Dodoria, Ginyu. This looked promising. The pattering of running feet could be heard down the corridor and a few seconds later the door popped open, revealing a panting Cui. Upon sighting his superior and fellow junior officers, the purple alien immediately straightened up and marched to the chair close to Vegeta's, sitting down in as dignified a manner as possible. No one spoke for a few minutes, each exchanging both curious and threatening looks. As the silence stretched on, they started fidgeting on their chair until Ginyu, the most enthusiastic fidgeter, opened his mouth to wonder: "Are we…"
"…all here?", a cold voice immediately interjected. "Yes, so we can begin." Captain Ginyu's mouth snapped shut as the deceptively unimposing form of Freeza, Emperor of the Northern Galaxy, made its way into the room and unto the seat of honour. At a snap of his fingers, servants materialised apparently out of nowhere and started putting a small book before each bewildered officer. Vegeta immediately picked it up, studying its exterior attentively: it was obviously meant to be a pocket book, small and light; its cover was unassuming, of an off-white colour with the words "To My Muse" printed in dark blue ink in the centre; the paper felt cheap and the whole ensemble gave off a self-produced vibe. As the Saiyan was about to open the book, Freeza loudly cleared his throat and, upon meeting Vegeta's gaze, let his red eyes wander to the receding servants. The message was clear: not until they've left. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, the Prince put the small tome down again, waiting impatiently for the help to shut the door behind themselves. When they were finally alone again, the Emperor spoke up. "The books before you have been confiscated from foot-soldiers across a number of regiments and those found in possession of said tome were swiftly executed once the content became clear."
Hearing such words, Vegeta slouched boredly on his chair. Probably another silly revolutionary book, then. A new one appeared every few years, causing a stir for some weeks and then promptly disappearing along with its author and unfortunate readers. Zarbon looked way more relaxed as well, his demeanour calm and professional. "Is this volume full of repulsive concepts targeting the Empire, my Lord?", he wondered, obviously already wondering how to curb another rebellion wannabe. The small, cutting smile that Freeza gave them took everyone by surprise. "It does indeed spread repulsive content, but not of the kind we are used to, I am afraid. This book calls you a traitor, my dear Zarbon."
A heavy curtain of silence fell upon the room as everyone held their breath; Zarbon had turned pale, eyes wide and unblinking, while Freeza's lips were still tugged by that mysterious little smile. "Allow me to explain", the Emperor said airily. "It appears poor Zarbon has been devoured by an insane passion all these years, unbeknownst to anyone on this ship. From the moment he laid eyes upon young Prince Vegeta, he became tormented with desire. Unable to cope with knowing Vegeta could never be fully his as long as I was in the picture, he has been carefully planning a way to destroy me, take my Empire and rule it forever with the Saiyan Prince by his side." By the end of the Arcosian's speech, Zarbon had turned positively green and was struggling to gulp in air. In a gesture of sympathy that went against everything he'd just said, Freeza bent towards his Senior Officer and intoned in a consoling voice: "I had the servants put a waste bag under the seats, in case you are feeling ill." Zarbon wordlessly nodded his thanks, grabbed the bag and promptly heaved into it. Vegeta, jaw still slack and almost touching his neck, startled a little when another bag was pushed under his nose; he growled at Cui, who waved his fury away with his free hand. "You do look a little pale", he explained, tone hinting he was only half-joking. Finally, Zarbon seemed to feel well enough to speak and immediately started to beg for his life. "My Lord, I… I have no… There is no way I… With Vegeta! I'd never… I am utterly loyal! I…"
"Do not fret", Freeza interrupted him smoothly. "I am perfectly aware that there is nothing true in the story I have just narrated. However, our troops might be more… impressionable and the vehicle the mysterious author chose does drive the point home." As if one person, all the officers flipped the book open and stared baffedly at the images it revealed. "Is this some kind of illustration book?", Ginyu wondered aloud, as he flicked through the pages. Freeza nodded. "Correct, Captain. It appears to be divided in short stories. The protagonists and situations always differ but there is one constant: the main character, every time one of the PTO's most prominent members, feels a morbid attraction towards Prince Vegeta and acts upon it." Once again, a heavy silence coated the room, only to be broken by said Prince's furious shout of "You've gotta be kidding me!" The Emperor bowed his head gravely. "I wish I was, my dear, I wish I was. I understand how distressing this must be for you…"
"For him?" an incensed Dodoria roared, lifting his face from the book he'd buried himself into. "And what about us!? You try to drive me crazy on purpose, don't you? Always moving so gracefully, parading yourself in the corridors, seducing me with your eyes… This is fucked up! I would never say something like that!"
"He does move rather gracefully, though", Ginyu offered non-committally, still flipping through the pages. "I can see why people would be smitte… Whoa! Oi, Vegeta, can you really bend like this?" Vegeta desperately choked at the picture the Captain was indicating enthusiastically. "That would make for some neat poses! Wait, is this Guldo?"
Freeza sighed. "I am sorry to say there are indeed more people included in those stories than the ones I invited to this meeting, but I did not want this situation to escalate further." Vegeta shook his head, still in shock. "Guldo hates me", he finally remarked, trying to find some sense in the nightmare he'd been plunged into. "It's all a way to hide his real feelings", Cui remarked drily as he read, disgust written all over his face. "It's a terrible case of unrequired love, he wants you, he hates he wants you and hates himself 'cause he wants you." He paused before a picture of a child version of himself gazing dreamily at a pint-sized Prince. "This is disturbing. I am officially disturbed." Zarbon was holding the book so tightly the pages started to tear. "Whoever did this needs to die, My Lord", he stated, a stony seriousness marring the normally soft face. The Emperor nodded. "According to the experts who analysed the volume, there might be more than one hand behind this."
Vegeta raised his head from the tome, picturing a lewd image of himself arching into Reekom's embrace and glared daggers at Freeza. "I don't care how many they are", he murmured in a deadly tone. "I will find each of them, torture them and only allow them to die when they have gone crazy with pain." Murmurs of agreement slithered across the table. The Emperor stood. "Very well. The authors are being pursued as we speak. If any of you notices more copies of this book, please act swiftly to ensure this disease is exterminated. I will see you later." As silently as he came, the Arcosian left. As the officers stood up to leave as well, shaken and furious, an anxious whisper from Dodoria stopped them. "He said we all got a chapter. Do you think he also…?" Ginyu wordlessly picked up the cursed book once again and flipped through the chapters, till he reached one named "Cold Obsession".
It was me who murdered your father, my dear. I stared into his ugly face – do you like that, pet? Spread your legs a little further – as I pierced his heart and told him that one day I would have his precious little Prince warming my bed. Are you comfy, darling? I want our first time to be just perfect…
Zarbon run out, slamming the door open, closely followed by a gagging Dodoria. Ginyu slowly put the book down, tipped his head in what might have been a parting gesture and walked away. Cui stood there, visibly shaking and cursing. "You know what? I'm going to get drunk! Coming?"
The Saiyan was still looking at the pictures, a haunted look on his face. Cui snapped a finger in his face, waking him from his reverie and grabbed the shoulder-plate of his armour, dragging him out of the room. "Hey, don't get too hyped", he sniggered at the Prince, internally exulting when the Saiyan growled at him. "You're not nearly pretty enough for that!"
Thank you very much for reading. I also want to thank all the people who have been following my stories and left a review (especially Rosa94, thank you for the continued support).