Veigar the Master of Evil in Business
Chapter 1- Working for E.V.I.L
Deep within the institute of war, a great evil lurked in the shadows. The evil being watched the other champions and summoners as they walked by in the busy hallways, never noticing him of his evil presence due to his height. For months, he has waited. For years, he has climbed the latter within the Institute of War. He became the most feared, and most destructive evil being there is known to man… And when he saw the world roar with poverty and destruction, he took it upon himself to become the ruler of all of Runeterra! Ruling with an iron fist, crushing all those who stood before him!
The earth roared with burning flames, the skies were dark and smothered in dark gray smoke. There wasn't even a small speck of light to be seen in this damned world! There was no light, no hope to save anyone now…
As far as the eyes can see, a wave of slaves carried explosives towards a single point that was known as Noxus, or WAS known as Noxus. Now it is called, "The Pit of Purple Hell Where Noxians Can Die". Also known as TPPHWNCD… The master of evil was never good at naming things…
"That's right my slaves! Keep working till your backs can work no more!" The purple man of evil yelled.
The evil yordle took out his whip and slapped it against another yordle's back. The blue colored yordle fell to her knees as she dropped her basket of explosives all over the burning ground.
"No slacking off!" The evil being yelled, "Or your Teemo gets it!"
"No!" The blue skinned yordle named Tristana cried, "Not my little Teemo!"
"TOO LATE, I ALREADY KILLED HIM WITH HIS OWN SHROOMS!"
Tristana cried, and cried till she was nothing more but a small heap of flesh crawling on the ground like a worm.
The evil purple man of evil roared with laughter. But soon, he got bored. And proceeded to pick up Tristana and send her back to work with no pay for the next week. It was her job after all!
"Job… Pay…" The purple man of evil thought out loud.
The purple man of evil, also known as Veigar, stared off into the smoke filled sky and squinted, suddenly thinking very, very hard.
"I feel like I'm forgetting something…"
"What's the matter Veigar?"
Veigar jerked in surprise and stared at the yordle who called his name. But to his annoyance, he saw Lulu standing before him…
"L-Lulu!" Veigar screamed, "What are you doing here!?"
Lulu was a short, purple skinned yordle that wore a big velvet like hat and wore a dress that matched. She held a large wooden staff that was about her height and had a little pink fairy that followed her around everywhere. Veigar was known to label her as "insane" or "purple midget that you can't stay the hell away from", and hell knows he tried to stay away from her. But for some reason, she always appeared everywhere he went. Even now here she is, standing in front of the ruler of Runeterra; talking to him casually like the day was sunny and nice with a field without Teemo shrooms.
"I came here to see what you're up to silly!"
"Well as you can see I'm kind of busy! And how the hell did you get past all my minion guards without getting yourself killed!?"
Lulu giggled and twirled her hair, "This is a dream! I just came here to tell you to get up! You have a job to do, and if you keep sleeping like this I'm gonna have to get you fired~!" She said with a tease.
The master of evil stared blankly at Lulu, "… What?"
Suddenly, a distant sound of a telephone rang off in the distance. And as Veigar stared at the smoke filled sky, his suspicions grew bigger and bigger. Ever so big that he started to panic.
"W-What's going-"
Suddenly, a huge telephone came down from the sky like a meteorite coming straight for Veigar.
He began to scream in fear, and turned to Lulu for help; his eyes pleading. But she was gone from his sight, nowhere to be found.
"NO!" Veigar yelled, jerking his head off of his desk.
He stared blankly at the grey wall of his cubical, and blinked. Staring at the ceiling and looking all around himself, he was assured that nothing was out to kill him.
That and the world wasn't on fire… On top of that, Veigar realized he wasn't the ruler of the world anymore.
"It was only a dream..." Veigar muttered disappointedly.
Veigar sighed deeply, and returned to typing on his computer which was customized to fit his size. His chair and table were adjusted to fit his height which made his cubical a bit smaller than the other employees.
Currently Veigar worked for "The Future of E.V.I.L" where E.V.I.L stood for 'Electronic Vendors and Institution of Logistics." This meant that the company sold electronics such as laundry machines, cell phones, and the works. Like any other company, the workers would pick up calls and orders from the customers and then deliver the items to them. Veigar here works as the salesmen of the company, as well as customer service.
When Veigar heard about his job position, he was happy! So happy, he placed ten pieces of paper in his 'murder box' with Teemo's face on it. However, all he drew that night was a blank piece of paper.
The atmosphere was intense as everyone was making quick phone calls to pitch sales and answering calls from interested customers. The light bulbs above shined like that of the sun and the smell of old coffee and donuts wafted in the air. In the distance, a water machine let out a loud BLUB as it refilled itself and let out an air bubble.
Veigar moaned and muttered curses under his breath as he resumed his work on typing a paper for his boss on the statistics of this week's sales.
That is, until he suddenly got a phone call.
Ring… Ring… Ring….
For a few seconds Veigar ignored the phone and continued to type vigorously…
Rinnnggg…. Rinnnnggg…. Rinnnngg... Riiinnngg… Riiiiiinnnnggg
Veigar's temper was starting to diminish and he began to smash his keyboard…
Riinnnngg…. Riiinnnng…. Riiiiiiinnnnnggg…. Riiiiiiiiinnngg….
As if the phone were taunting him, the ringing became louder, and louder.
Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnggg….. Riiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggg…. Riiiiiiinnnnnnnngggg
Veigar slammed his palm against the phone and picked it up screaming, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!?"
The person on the other line gasped in surprise, and then chuckled; ignoring the rude greeting. "Well I guess the company really is evil! Ha, and I thought the advertisements were just for jokes!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever, just cut to the chase will ya!?"
"Well you see, I've watched your commercial about the Extra Evil Blender and I was wondering if what the commercial said was true! Does it really blend Evil!?"
Veigar sighed at the stupidity of his question. Veigar felt that with every new generation, the people became stupider and stupider (another reason why Veigar wanted to take over the world.) Veigar swallowed a curse down his throat and answered, "Yes… It can blend twice the evil of an orange, a cabbage, and another other vegetable… Which you are-"
"I'm sorry?"
"Umm nothing!" Veigar stuttered, "A-And as I said, it can blend twice the evil out of anything! Fruits, vegetables, you name it!"
"Mhmm…" There was a pause… "But will it blend?"
A vein popped in Veigar's head and he whispered, "Look you little s***, I don't got time for your f****** games. So do you want to order an evil blender or not? Cause if you say yes, I swear against my dead mom that I will find you, and kill you along with your family!"
The man on the other line just chuckled, "Man! You guys truly are evil! Ya almost got me there! Well, I changed my mind; I'm going to get a regular blender. Thanks for your time!"
"****!" Veigar yelled as he slammed his phone against the dial pad.
There was a knock against his cubical wall and Veigar turned his head with steam billowing out of his ears. But he relaxed a little as he realized that it was his co-worker and friend, Yasuo, who was standing by the entrance of his cubicle with a blank expression on his face.
"Tough customer again?" Yasuo asked moving closer to Veigar.
Veigar sighed and nodded, "Yep, another retarted customer. I swear, every single day people get dumber and dumber!"
Yasuo grunted in agreement while he pulled out two donuts and gave one to Veigar. "Yeah… You know, sometimes I wish we could get back to fighting in the Rift you know?"
Veigar nibbled on his donut and nodded in agreement.
"Yeah," Yasuo said with a sigh, "It really sucks that the Institution of War went bankrupt after they implemented the new version of the Summoners Rift."
"Yeah totally! Like holy Teemo's shrooms, how much money did they spend on making that place? 500 million? A billion-"
"10 Trillion gold pieces went into that project. It literally screwed up the country. With the high taxes and all gathered from all the city states; it created a friggen up-roar! Country went broke, the League went broke, got us kicked out. It's only thanks to Piltover's inventions that saved us… That's why everyone in the League has a job here… Real f***ing boring though…"
"Mhm… Sometimes I just wish I can blast a hole in the wall and escape from this hell."
Yasuo finished his donut and whipped his hands against his suit, "You're not the only one. I still can't believe- Uh wait, excuse me a second."
Yasuo's phone rang in his pocket and he answered gingerly with his masculine voice, "Hello! You have reached the Institution of E.V.I.L where we, the minions, are happy to bring you the most EVIL types of appliances right to your doorstep!"
Yasuo looked at Veigar and Veigar shooed him away to get back to his business. After a nod of thanks from Yasuo, Veigar was once again left alone in his cubical to stare aimlessly at the blinking mouse cruiser.
With the League gone, he had nowhere to go. He had no funds to fund his evil schemes, and this was the best he can do till he can reach the top where he will rule the world.
That is, if he can endure the annoyance of all the former champions working here now…
Veigar's head felt heavy as he slammed his face against the keyboard and fell asleep out of pure boredom.
Thus begins Veigar's journey of pain and suffering in E.V.I.L…