Title: Tell No Lies
Summary: Shawn and Hunter suffer in silence after their HIAC PPV match.
Notes: Kinda kayfabe.
Pairings: Shawn/Hunter
He opened the door and was greeted with darkness.
It was a welcome greeting.
He closed and locked the door behind him. Saw the door between him and the next room, Hunter's room, and went and locked that too. Wasn't sure he could face any conversation with him. Paced the room.
Loose ends had kept Hunter busy backstage after the match, and after visiting the trainer he left. No goodbye.. nothing. He needed to get away.
Didn't want to have to face Hunter and all those feeling it bought out, because he knew he'd sit next to him and ask him if he was okay.
And could he tell him the truth?
Tell him that realising that he had left him during the match made him doubt if he'd ever come back.
He knew he shouldn't doubt him, they were friends, close. But that feeling was still there. And he knew what it was even if he didn't like to admit it, always pushed those feelings back because he had no reason to think it any more.
But not tonight.
For the first time in years, tonight he hadn't trusted Hunter.
And in itself, it was complicated because of course he could trust him.
He knew that. Knew that despite their past troubles they'd moved on. But he'd left him and despite the fact it was so he could save him, the idea of him not coming back had been there. And he couldn't be okay with him. Knew that much. Knew that when he was alone with him, he'd look at him, sincere and concerned and ask if he was okay, and he wouldn't be able to just say that he was fine as a veiled lie because Hunter would see through it and pushed, he'd tell him the truth. And he could imagine Hunter's reaction. He'd be hurt. For both of them, because he always carried that extra burden with him.
So he had no choices. Lie to Hunter, or tell the truth and destroy him. There was no easy solution, no right answer.
He froze from pacing when he heard a gentle knock at the door, the one between their rooms.
Didn't dare move a muscle, held his breath because he didn't want to get caught out in this lie either. He tapped again, still gentle. Just in case. Didn't want to wake him...
And Shawn stayed silent.
Because saying nothing was better.
**
He sighed as he stepped away from the door.
He'd listened, waited for an answer to come. Realistically knew Shawn wouldn't have got back and to sleep so fast.
He could be in the shower. Couldn't hear the water, but that didn't mean he wasn't there. Liked that idea better than the alternative.
He just wanted to talk. To see if he was okay, because he knew what he'd done.
He knew that exactly how Shawn felt. Dissapointed.
Because he hadn't been able to get to him, hadn't thought things through, hadn't acted quick enough. And Shawn had been punished for it. The minute he saw that door locked, he should have turned and ran to the back, but he didn't. Hesistated. Too long. The price Shawn paid was too high, he was physically spent. When they'd got to the back he could see it in Shawn's face, the way he walked. Everything about how he was told him he was in pain. Told him he needed rest, time... to heal.
He turned from the door, another door seperating them, keeping them apart. Looked at his own room. Nothing without Shawn there. No light, no life. Wanted more than anything to get through this door as much as he'd wanted to get from the metal one that had kept them seperated earlier. This door would be harder to get through.
With little else to do, Hunter went over to the TV, switched it on and let the sounds and pictures occupy him. It could only work for so long before his mind went back to Shawn.
Where his thoughts seemed to be more often than not. Tonight would be another one where thoughts would have to be enough.
For now, he had nothing more.
**
His eyes flew open, went straight to the door, their door.
What was seperating them.
Woken by a dream. One of helplessness and desperation, all from Hunter. And he'd shut the door on him, locked it. Kept them apart. Horrible dream that he feared was true, crazy as it seemed.
Feeling the desperation himself, he pulled himself from his bed. His back felt stiff, didn't want to move, his knees throbbed when they were forced to be used, preferring the rest, yet he pushed himself onwards. Unlocked the door and in one smooth motion pulled it open- just needed to see Hunter there safe and sound. Sleeping on his bed. But he wasn't there.
By the door was a chair, Hunter slumped in it. Had been asleep but the noise woke him and he was tiredly looking upwards towards Shawn.
He went to say something, wasn't sure what he could say. Words failed him.
Hunter stood up, locked eyes.
Those eyes that seemed to know everything. Could read his mind as easily as a book, see into his soul and know the truth, knew the real him even before he did.
But he said nothing.
Asked no questions, was told no lies as he simply pulled Shawn towards him, embraced him. Shawn relaxed into it.
Everything ached a little less now. His pains, the burden he felt lifted because he was where he should be.
He couldn't let a moments doubt spoil what they had. Wouldn't.
They were better than that. Stronger.
So he'd keep it to himself, would bury it forever in his mind.
Because letting it out would be so much worse.
The end of them.
Of him.