A/N: Just a simple little one-shot with Cassidy (Carla) Cade on Johnny's wedding day. Her thoughts and memories from the past with him in her POV as she thinks of certain songs, which I do NOT own, but some others I just make up! (Italic is the songs and BOLD is the flashbacks/memories!). I hope you like this because this is my first ever one-shot, and please be kind about it! Also, please read my other stories, which are also based on "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton! Alright, so that's it then! Enjoy my first ever one-shot and please read my other stories, along with reviews, pretty please! Thank you all!
There I was in the church, sitting still in my ocean blue; sparkly; knee-length gown with my brunette hair neatly and silkily curled and make-up neatly done, just like my lighter blue nails were painted, and my perfume smelt so sweet. Dang, I hated how much I looked like a Soc, though!
It was a warm spring day in the month of March, and I seriously can't believe how many years have gone by…not with me, though…but with my older brother, Jonathan Alexander Cade, or the Greasers gang, who are our best friends since childhood, and myself, just call him Johnny for short, or Johnnycake for a friendly pet nickname.
Ponyboy, Darry, Soda, Two-bit, Steve, Dallas, Kitten, and Jocelyn were all either sitting on the floor or in some of the other plush chairs, or they were standing and leaning themselves against the wall in the same room with me. They were all dressed fancy and high-class, too…considering that it was Johnny's wedding day. He was getting married to this pretty and golden hearted Soc girl named Amelia, who I liked very much, but when she came over to my house two months before and told me that Johnny had asked her for her hand and she showed me the engagement ring on her finger, I must admit that my heart had started breaking…
Just once upon the yesterday, you held me in your arms…you were so young and small…and different from what young man you are today…
I remember that day, believe it or not…I was warmly and comfortably wrapped up in a little lavender blanket, and my eyes were squinted open a bit as I squirmed and cried, whimpering like all newborns do when the nurse carried me into the room where my mother was fast asleep after actually using up all of her energy to get me out of her body, and my father had left to the hospitals cafeteria to fetch something to eat. I continued crying and crying, whimpering more as the nurse quietly shushed me and stroked my very short brunette strands of hair with her fingertips. The nurse didn't know what to do with me then, considering that both of my parents were doing other things at the moment…but then…a small voice piped up, and the nurse looked to realize my older brother, Johnnycake, pop his head out shyly from the other side of our mothers hospital bed. He was only four years old at the time, his jet-black hair still the length it was to this very day, and his tan skin still dark, while his pair of black eyes were remaining will absolute innocence.
I remember how small and young Johnny was that day, him looking more like two other then four, considering that he was short for his age, but nobody ever brings up that fact for two reasons. One, Johnny already knew it, and two, he just hated the fact that he always looked two years younger from his actual age. Nevertheless, that little four-year-old boys face lit up as his eyes sparked with joy, and he quietly started clapping his hands and giggling when he noticed that the nurse was holding me in her arms. That's when the nurse smiled, realizing that Johnny was my older brother, and being very quiet and careful so she wouldn't wake Johnny's and my mom up from her exhausting sleep, the nurse tiptoed over to Johnny, right before she gently took a hold of one of his hands with her now free hand, her other arm holding me close to her chest, and she guided Johnny over to the plush windowsill, sitting him down there on the patting as she sat down next to him…and then…she pulled the blanket a bit back to expose my face a little bit better.
"Johnny Cade…" the pretty and extremely kind and loving nurse spoke to my older brother, who was already lost in me, smiling brightly and joyfully.
I've honestly never seen him smile so much in his whole life, until he met Amelia many years later.
"…Meet your new baby sister. Congratulations…you're now officially an older brother to this baby girl." the nurse told Johnny, and my newborn self witnessed his eyes glow with even more happiness and excitement. I watched, surprisingly no longer crying or whimpering, as Johnnycake extended his little arms out towards me, opening and closing his tiny fists over and over again.
"You want to hold her?" the nurse asked, and Johnny instantly nodded his head, his adorable and golden grin sparkling up more and more with every exciting moment to this very day of April. The beautiful nurse chuckled a bit at how excited and joyful Johnnycake was acting, and she told him to climb onto her lap, which he did, and after that…I remember looking up at him, gazing into his black eyes as he stared back into my dark, dark hazel ones…and he greatly smiled…still giggling a bit from being so joyful of my birth, and him now being an older brother.
Believe it or not…that was my first ever time that I actually smiled…the exact day that I was born…and then held in Johnny's arms.
"Johnnycake!" Dally called out, kicking back on the wall with a cancer-sticks end glowing as its opposite end hanged inside his mouth. "You almost finished behind that changing stand? Carla and Jocelyn have to walk you down the aisle not long from now!"
"I'm almost finished! I just need to fix on my tie and get my shoes on, including my jacket!" Johnny reported from being the changing stand right there in the groom room of the church.
Considering that Johnny's, Jocelyn's, and my folks were alcoholics and drug-addicts who beat us up and neglected us for our entire lives, Johnny didn't want to invite our mother to his wedding, as if she'd come anyway if she even got an invitation, but Johnnycake could actually care less, just like Jocelyn and myself. Our father, Fredrick, on the other hand…he, however, past away from taking so many pills of all kinds of different choices when he "bought" new drugs from this guy in this weird looking van. I still remember the funeral…
It was seven months back…it was chilly and rainy, dark and gloomy with so many gray clouds in the sky…and there Jocelyn, Johnny, and myself stood besides our abusive mother, all of us, including plenty of other people, mainly our fathers bar buddies and ex-wives, dressed in black. Even though our father hated us and never wanted us to be born, that didn't stop Johnnycake, Joce, and I to go to his funeral. I mean, sure he drank and took many drugs with our mom, abused the three of us for no reasons at all, and he said that we were mistakes, but still…we were and still are his children, whether anybody liked it or not.
Jocelyn had just stood there, her hands jammed in her black skirts pockets and a disappointed expression on her face as she stared down at our fathers tombstone. I'm the emotional bawl baby in our family, meaning that I had clearly broken down in tears, as if our dad was actually a loving and caring one who always put us before himself no matter what. Johnny was crying a little bit himself, having his arm around my shoulder as he gently and caringly pushed my head down onto his black jackets fabric that was over his shoulder.
"Shush…shush, shush, my little sister…don't cry…I'm here for you…and I promise I will protect you and Jocelyn both until I die and go into the golden and white rays of Heaven myself…where our father will hopefully be, now back to the originally kind and generous fella he was before any of us were born…" Johnny sighed into my ear, while he placed his other hand on Jocelyn's shoulder and gently squeezed it, right before Jocelyn wrapped her arms around him and Johnnycake held us both close…promising us that he'd always be there to keep us together…safe…and loved.
Since Johnny's that type of person who always wanted to try to do something new every day in life, he had came up with the idea to have Jocelyn and I walk him down under the alter of the church before the bride, as known as Amelia, would walk down with her father, whom will give her away about twenty or so seconds later. Heck, that's my brother for ya, and I'm proud to call him my guardian, just like Jocelyn isn't ashamed to do either, just like how none of us, nor the rest of the Greasers gang, is ashamed to say that Jesus Christ was and always would be our savior.
I still sort of cringe to myself every time I remember that in only a few minutes, Jocelyn and I would be walking our older brother down the aisle with everybody's eyes and smiles on us. It was just a good thing that I was wearing waterproof make-up.
He's the old pair of worn out tennis shoes, the tattered pair of jeans, he looks great in cheap sunglasses, he looks great in anything…he has his jet-black hair flowing, his innocent black eyes shimmering, and his sweet smile showing…he loves taking me to movies, and teaching me how to defend myself…he's the curser on Monday mornings, and the long, hot showers on Tuesday nights…he's driving me to cheer practice on Wednesday afternoons, and then heading off to football practice himself on Thursdays, with rumbles happening pretty much every Friday at dusk…and on Saturday, we're hittin' it out of town with the rest of our gang, being church people next on Sunday morning…and then we do it all again…I remember when…
Johnny's never the person you could ever be bored around, nor could you feel ever uncomfortable or unsafe. Heck, Johnny's a golden protector, and I know that he'll be the perfect husband to Amelia in only a couple more minutes. All I can say is, she better get ready for a whole lot, because each day of the week is something new, not one single second being a waste of time or ridiculous when you're spending your life with mine and Jocelyn's brother.
"You almost done yet, Johnny?" Two-bit asked, cleaning some dirt out from underneath his fingernails with his black-handled switchblade.
"Almost!" Johnnycake replied.
Man, was I stressing out. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to put up with giving the best brother away in the whole universe. However, I know that I must do it, considering that Amelia is the other half of Johnny's heart, which will soon be mended and sewed together with his. Amelia might've been golden and sweet, but I still think Johnnycake can do way better. To be honest, no matter how many girls Johnny introduced to me and Jocelyn in the past, because let's face it, I got to admit that Johnny's one heck of a catch, but every date he went on seemed to be more like a job interview. Seriously, this one girl named Kendra had come over to our house the year before to pick Johnny up for their date, but the minute she laid her eyes on me and Jocelyn, she gasped and instantly turned around, running away and not taking a single glance back. My point is though, no matter how many girls Johnnycake attracts, including Amelia…none of them will ever be good enough for him in my opinion, and I can tell that Jocelyn agrees, even though she doesn't say anything about it.
I still remember the time two months back, when Amelia knocked at the front door of my house, and right after hearing the knocks, I instantly opened up the door and greeted Amelia with a friendly hello and my pretty smile. I realized then that she looked both nervous and joyful, so I let her in, and she took a seat down on the couch in my living room.
"Carla…I got some great news!" Amelia told me, smoothing her skirt out as she properly crossed her legs and formed a small grin at me. Her cheeks stained bright pink and I confusedly cocked an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest, as I sat down in the armed-chair.
"What is it?" I asked, cautiously.
"It's about Johnny! He asked me to marry him!" Amelia cheered joyfully and excitedly, as some tears of happiness began forming and coming out of her light, light blue eyes, and she extended out her right hand. Their on her finger, my eyes widened a bit to notice a golden ring with one heck of a dazzling diamond shimmering off on it.
You had popped the question…and I just stood there, motionless…I don't want you to leave me, I don't want you to leave my life…I need you…I need you, I need you, I need you forever-ever-ever…pl-ea-se…please don't leave me…
"He…asked you for your hand in-" I gulped a secret gulp to take down a lump in my throat before I could finish asking my question, but that didn't matter because after Amelia's smile grew bigger and even more gorgeous on her white face, I instantly knew that she understood my question.
"Marriage? Yes! He asked me to marry him! He proposed to me over dinner, getting down on one knee in front of everybody! Oh, it was so romantic!" Amelia swooned. I guess she wanted me to respond somehow, but I was too shocked after hearing the news that I didn't know how I actually was supposed to react. Was I supposed to actually say it was great like how I always pictured Johnny getting married at some point in his life would be? Or should I have thrown something out the window like the actors and actresses did in the movies? I don't know. I like Amelia, but I don't believe that there's anybody good enough in the world for Johnny.
"Carla," Amelia instructed as she then stood back up from the couch, still grinning at me. "I'd like you to be there, of course. I mean, Johnny's your brother! Jocelyn's coming, I know for sure, because Johnny already called her at college. The rest of the gang is thrilled and is coming, too. So, what do you say?"
"…Of course I'll come! You're right! Johnny is my brother!" I said "…but remember, Amelia…I loved him first…I held him first…and a piece of my heart will always be his…ever sense the first breath he took in front of me, from when he first smiled at me…so, be careful when you hold my brother!"
Okay, I admit that I could've played that better, because my brother really loved this girl with his whole heart, and I could tell that she fully loved him back, but I believe that no girl would love Johnnycake more then Jocelyn and I.
I still remember the days when I would be laying there in my bed with my teddy bear close to my side, trying to fall asleep as I listen to the soft breeze whistle outside my window under the moonlight and starlight of the dark nighttime…but then I hear Johnny's voice whisper to me from the doorway where the door was cracked open a little…his soft and gentle, loving voice saying to me, "I love you and always will, Carla Cade.", and just as I hear his footsteps softly start walking away from my door, I smile tiredly and whisper back, "Johnny Cade, I love you more and always will.", usually before I'm out like a light for the night.
I fiddled around with my light blue painted nails that were resting on my lap, and my eyes started showing off my tense sorrow and pain from knowing the fact that it's almost time, the clock ticking and getting closer and closer for Johnnycake to be given away. I seriously never imagined myself and Jocelyn walking Johnny down the aisle on his wedding day, but hey, some day Johnny would have to do the same for both of us. Hey, just thinking of that makes me remember the memory of how Jocelyn was born…
I know I wasn't ready to be an older sibling. I was used to being the youngest to Johnnycake, but as I waited there in the waiting room in the hospital with Johnny sitting there next to me, and our father gone at God knows where in the hospital, I understood that I'd have to get used to being the middle child. Whatever this baby was like, I know that I'm blood-related to it, and I was going to be having it to say it's a part of my family and life in the future.
Johnny must've noticed how nervous I looked because I was just trembling in my chair, not being able to sit still from being so nervous in my entire life, not even when our dads getting ready to beat us or when our moms about to snap at us once more.
"Don't worry, Carla," Johnny grinned at me as he started stroking my back, tickling me a bit and making me giggle a little from the gentle and feather-like touches of his fingers stringing along up and down my back. "You'll love being an older sibling! I promise you, it's worth it! I mean, I was excited when you were born."
"Yeah, but you're you, Johnnycake. I know absolutely nothing about being an older sibling to a little baby!" I objected, burying my face behind my locked hands. I didn't need to look at Johnny to know that he was now pouting, while his black eyes shimmered off plead for me to hear him out.
"Shucks," Johnny snickered, and I peaked through my fingers a little to surprisingly realize that he was actually grinning at me again. "You don't actually believe that I understood anything about being older to you, don't you? I mean, I know it's different and it's a little rougher, but it turns out to be one of the best things in human life."
"But…" I sighed, quieting my tone so nobody else would hear what I was about to say. "…Mama and Daddy beat us and makes us feel uncomfortable, Johnny."
I got out of my chair and climbed up on Johnny's lap, holding myself close to him as I shuttered at the terrible memories of our folks treating us like crumbled up pieces of trash on the street that were just kicked around over and over again on the sidewalk. I heard Johnny take in and let out a deep, but soft breath, and I instantly knew that he was pouting again. He started stroking my hair with one of his hands, his other staying around my waist to keep me from sliding off from him or anything like that.
"I know, Carla, I know," Johnnycake sighed "but trust me, we're going to protect this little newborn baby brother/sister of ours, and we'll give her/him our love and trust that we usually give to each other all the time and share it with him/her, okay?"
I placed my right hand on my left shoulder, and then my left hand on my right side, snuggling up closer to Johnny's chest from still remaining so nervous about being an older sibling while our parents were abusive drinkers, smokers, gamblers, and whatnot. "But, Johnny…"
He gave me a family kiss on my forehead, which really helped me cheer up, and he smiled at me once again, our eyes now meeting. I couldn't help myself to grin then, and I instantly knew that Johnny never steered me in the wrong decision before, and he wasn't ever going to start. So, I understood that having a little sibling would be a whole lot different, but it was going to end up being worth it
…And it was. Jocelyn was worth a little sibling. She's amazing and bright, talented and smart, loving everybody for who they are and understands everyone's differences and flaws without any issues. I still love the warm feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when Johnny and I both rushed into our mothers hospital room to see her sleeping once again, and there stood a male nurse holding the new little bundle to the world, warmly and comfortably wrapped up in a little dark purple blanket. That's when Johnny and I both instantly knew that it was a girl, and boy were we thrilled!
"Alright, guys," came Johnny's voice, and everybody, including myself, instantly turned our full, undivided attention up to gaze at the changing stand. We all listened carefully and quietly, as Johnny took in then released a deep, but very happy sigh that everyone could hear throughout the small/medium-sized groom room.
"You ready, Johnny?" Ponyboy asked, smiling greatly and excitedly, thrilled to see his best, best friend get married after all of these years with the two of them sharing secrets and chatting about what they wanted their future wives and lives to be like after getting married and having children, including their actual wedding ceremonies and the after parties.
"Yep…here I come…" Johnny spoke, and all of the Greasers who were sitting down, including me once again, stood up onto their feet and smiled widely. I had to force myself to get at least a tiny grin to spread across my face because this was my brothers wedding day and I wanted him to be happy. Not long after standing back up and waiting, Johnny slowly came out from behind the changing stand, showing off how handsome he looked in his tux with his white tie around his neck, and this red rose pinned into the black fabric that was over his chest, while his jet-black hair was neatly brushed and combed with its usual style and heavily greased, but nobody would care to mind that, considering that it was Johnny's wedding day and he was a Greaser.
Ponyboy, Sodapop, Darry, Kitten, Steve, Dally, and Two-bit all instantly exchanged big and golden smiles that were spread across each of their faces with all of their eyes glimmering and shimmering with pure happiness and joy.
"..Oh my god.." Jocelyn sighed softly, tucking one of her naturally bouncy; silky; black curls behind her ear pierced ears, right before she walked up to Johnny and wrapped her arms around him for about five seconds, taking in how handsome he looked in his tux on his wedding day.
"..Johnnycake.." I then sighed, extra soft and even more loving. I seriously could've sworn I felt some tears already coming on, but I was holding them all back, not wanting to cry when the wedding didn't even start yet.
Johnny's smile instantly flashed across his face as his black eyes met my dark, dark hazel ones, just like what happened on the day I was born.
"I know!" he chuckled "how do I look?"
It seems like only yesterday, I hugged you for the first time…you grew into a little boy, with lovely childhood charm. But now it seems like I've only turned around, and now I see you getting ready to stand by a special girls side. Oh, I can't believe my eyes today, my brother…is a groom…
Two-bit shot Johnny two thumbs up while he continued grinning his big, goofy smile. "You look A-Okay, Johnnycake!" he snickered at his own joke, but he truly thought that Johnny looked amazingly tuff.
"Amazing, Johnny." Jocelyn bowed her head, and Kitten nodded her head with full agreement, while she fixed the hot pink bow that was being worn around her waist of her sparkly black dress a little bit.
"Awesome, Johnnycake." Ponyboy reported, and Soda's and Darry's smiles was all that Johnny needed to witness to know what they were thinking. Same thing for Dallas.
Johnny then turned his attention back to me, his and my eyes meeting once again, and I secretly took down a bump in my throat that was now starting to feel a bit sore from holding back the tears.
"Well, Carla," Johnny shrugged his shoulders as he stuffed his hands into his jackets pockets. "What do you think?"
All the laughter and the teardrops, the sunshine and the rain, I would relieve every moment if I could bring them all back again…but now, my love, the time has come to send you on your way, so I wish you every happiness and the blessings of this day. And I hope the love I've giving you will forever be your guide. Oh, I can't believe my eyes today, my brother…is a groom…
I took in a secret deep breath and let it out, being careful not to seem suspicious as I hesitated with his simple question. "..You look handsome, Johnny…"
Johnny's smile instantly grew brighter and even more golden, right before he threw his arms around me and held me close to him, just like we always did to hug when we were younger, and that's when I started tearing up a bit, thinking to myself that I was going to have to let Johnnycake go.
Gotta hold on easy as I let you go…gonna tell you how much I love you, don't you think I already know…go on and take on this old world, but to me you'll always be…my older bro…
"..I love you, Johnny." I whispered into Johnny's ear, just like he used to do to me all the time when we were children and teenagers. "…I'll always love you."
"Aw, Carla," Johnny said "I love you and always will love you, too."
Not long at all after that, the door of the groom room opened up, and Johnny and I released each other from our hug to turn around along with the rest of the gang to see that Tim and Curly were both there, standing in the doorway with big smiles plastered on their faces with their hair neatly brushed and both of them wearing their own tuxes.
"Alright, Johnny. You need to get out here and walk down the aisle with your sisters giving you away." Curly instructed the eldest Cade.
"It's show time!" Tim cheerfully howled, right before he and Curly left the doorway to go find their seats. Johnny smiled at me and Jocelyn, right before he gave the two of us kisses on top of our heads, then hugged us.
"Walk me down the aisle, girls. It's time." Johnny instructed the two of us, and the rest of the gang quickly fled out of the room to go gather up in the chapel to find their seats. Finally at that moment, I started allowing the tears to fall a bit as I took a hold of one of Johnny's arms and Jocelyn took the other, feeling close to our older brother as he held us close to his sides.
The music started, and everybody rose from the pews to watch as Johnny was guided down the long white carpet by Jocelyn and I. Everyone was smiling, their eyes sparkling at the loving scene of Johnny being given away by his two little sisters on his wedding day.
Here goes my life…here goes my future…my everything…I love you…Johnny, your girl will change her name today…I love you, Johnny…Johnnycake, good-bye…
The whole wedding ceremony was beautiful, but I just couldn't stop crying the entire time as I watched Amelia look so beautiful like a model in her wedding gown, vale, and tiara, and seeing Johnny look so happy…I must admit that I was happy, too…but I was certainly going to miss having him around a lot more like in the past.
On the bright side though…I know for a fact that…Jocelyn and I were going to be aunts…because Johnny promised us that.
A/N: Once again, this was my first ever one-shot, so sorry if it sucked, but I hope it didn't. Please read my other "The Outsiders" fanfics and please review! Thank you all so much! :D :D :D :D