It was Thursday morning and Max stood in the bathroom
gazing into the mirror. He examined his face
thoroughly, noting every line and the grey by his
temples. It wasn't too dramatic a change for a man
that just turned fifty years old the other day. He
rubbed his face and figured there was no turning back
the clock, just going forward. A loud knock on the
door snapped Max to reality.
"What?" Max yelled over his shoulder toward the door.
"I gotta go Dad, hurry up in there," a young boy's voice announced.
Max sighed. He couldn't even have a few moments of private time for himself lately without getting disturbed. Max opened the door to find his son, Zach, bouncing up and down, shifting from foot to foot. Zach pushed his way past Max to get in.
"You realize there is another bathroom downstairs by your room," Max noted.
"But I was already up here," Zach said.
Max couldn't argue with an 11-year-old's logic. Zach pushed him out with the door. Standing in the hall, Max turned to almost run into his daughter, Maxine. Not moving or speaking, she looked up to her towering father. Max waited for her to make the first move but did nothing.
"Yes? You want something?" Max inquired, as he looked down to her.
Maxine held up her portable radio. "You promised to fix this two days ago."
"I've been busy," Max responded.
"Too busy for your only daughter?"
Max squinted at Maxine for the smart remark, "Just like your mother, aren't you?"
Maxine shoved the radio toward Max. "Just fix it."
". Please," Max corrected her.
Maxine gave an exaggerated smile, "Pleeeaaaasssseeeee."
Max looked over the radio. He was never very good with mechanical things. "So, what's wrong with it?" Max asked, as he checked it over.
"It doesn't play," Maxine said, deadpan.
"I know that. What I want to know is . oh, never mind."
Max shook it and banged it with the side of his hand. Still nothing. 99 walked by with a laundry basket, putting away clothes. She stopped and looked at Max's plight. Leaning in, she whispered to Max, "Did you check for batteries?" Max opened the back and found only three batteries instead of the required four.
Max chortled. "I found the problem. You need another battery."
Maxine smiled and looked over to 99, "Thanks, Mom."
Max opened his mouth to say 'your welcome' when he realized the thanks was not for him. He glanced over to 99 as she shrugged and moved on.
"99, can we talk?" Max asked, as he followed 99 down the stairs.
"I need to get breakfast started for the kids. You can talk to me in the kitchen."
Max followed her to the kitchen. He stood in the middle as she worked her way around him getting things ready for pancakes.
"99, do you think I'm too old?" Max queried.
99 grabbed the milk from the fridge and rolled her eyes. She had heard this question before from Max over the past week.
"Would you get the plates down? " 99 asked as she opened the pancake box.
Max wanted her full attention. "99, .."
99 was getting annoyed with him. "Max, you have asked that same question over and over this past week. You asked it before you turned 50, and you asked it after you turned 50. I keep telling you 'no, you're not old'. What more do you want me to say?"
Max grabbed for the plates and started to feel like a pest.
"It's not easy to turn this age and not feel old."
"Max, with the kind of work you do, you're lucky you've made it to 50."
Just as Max was ready to say something, Zach burst through the kitchen door, "Is breakfast ready?"
"Just about. Now go get Maxine and Jimmy," 99 said, as she poured the batter into the pancake maker.
Zach yelled at the top of his lungs, "MAXINE! JIMMY! BREAKFAST!"
Max cringed at his high-pitched voice. "Your mother told you to get them, not holler for them."
"Sorry, Dad," Zack said, as he ploughed through the kitchen doors.
Max sat and shook his head. "99, I haven't seen Max all morning."
"I thought we agreed there were too many Max's in this house and that we would call Max Jr. by his middle name, so not to confuse the issue."
Max felt like his mother was scolding him.
"I know, 99. Then why didn't we just make his first name James?"
"Cause you told me if we had another boy, you'd like to call him Maxwell James Smart, Jr."
"So why don't we call him Max?"
99 was getting frustrated. "Because, your name is Max, your daughter's name is Maxine, who now likes to be called Max while she is in her tomboy stage, and Max Jr. There are too many Max's around here. It drives me crazy."
"Oh, ok. Then, getting back to what we were talking about, ."
99 mumbled under her breath, "Not again."
Suddenly it sounded like a locomotive roaring through the living room as three very active children came through the kitchen door.
"I win!" announced Zach, coming through the door first.
99 waved her finger at Zach, "What have I told you about racing to the kitchen? Someone could fall and get hurt! Now sit down, and I'll get your pancakes."
Max felt at a loss. "99, can we talk this weekend?"
"It's gonna have to wait till Sunday night, Love."
"Why?"
99 sighed, "I told you this yesterday. I am going on a campout this weekend with Maxine and her Girl Scout troop."
"Oh, so it's just us bachelors?" Max smiled at the boys.
"Nope, Dad. Jimmy and me are staying at Ryan Black's house this weekend."
"How come you don't want to stay with me?"
"Ryan's got a pool, .we don't," Zach said in a matter of fact tone.
"Max, I'll make you up some dishes that you can reheat for this weekend. Anyway, it looks to me like you could use the break from all of us." Max gave a half-hearted smile and ate his breakfast.
Later that night Max was already in bed as 99 came out of the bathroom.
"What a day," 99 said as she flopped herself into bed. "Boy, am I exhausted. Those three kids of ours are a handful."
99 turned off the light and leaned over and gave Max a peck on the cheek. "Goodnight, Max."
Max slid himself over to 99, and started to caress her shoulder. "99, ."
"Oh, Max, not tonight. I'm so beat." She could see the disappointment on his face. "Tomorrow morning, ok?"
Max nodded and gently kissed 99 goodnight. Max rolled over and went to sleep.
The next morning 99 woke up refreshed. She stretched and looked over to Max while he was still in a state of slumber. Her finger lightly traced the outline of his ear. She leaned her body over his as he awoke to find her face to face with him. Max smiled and quickly got in the mood. He kissed her lips with gentle pecks as his arms reached around and pulled her closer to him. Max rolled 99 onto her back but before anything got started, a knock at the bedroom door disrupted their special time.
99 yelled out, "Whose at the door and what do you want?" A girl's voice called back, "It's Max and I thought you might like to know that Jimmy tried to get his own cereal and spilled it all over the kitchen floor."
Max called out, "Help him clean it up!"
"Why me? I didn't make the mess. Can I come in?"
Both Max and 99 yelled in unison, "NO!"
"I'll be there in a minute. Go downstairs and make sure he doesn't spill anything else," 99 quickly added.
Max looked down at 99, as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Max."
Max rolled over so she could get up, "It's ok, 99."
99 knew it wasn't ok, but that's the way it was with kids. She put her robe on and walked out of the room as Max lay back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Max started to feel a mid-life crisis coming on.
"I gotta go Dad, hurry up in there," a young boy's voice announced.
Max sighed. He couldn't even have a few moments of private time for himself lately without getting disturbed. Max opened the door to find his son, Zach, bouncing up and down, shifting from foot to foot. Zach pushed his way past Max to get in.
"You realize there is another bathroom downstairs by your room," Max noted.
"But I was already up here," Zach said.
Max couldn't argue with an 11-year-old's logic. Zach pushed him out with the door. Standing in the hall, Max turned to almost run into his daughter, Maxine. Not moving or speaking, she looked up to her towering father. Max waited for her to make the first move but did nothing.
"Yes? You want something?" Max inquired, as he looked down to her.
Maxine held up her portable radio. "You promised to fix this two days ago."
"I've been busy," Max responded.
"Too busy for your only daughter?"
Max squinted at Maxine for the smart remark, "Just like your mother, aren't you?"
Maxine shoved the radio toward Max. "Just fix it."
". Please," Max corrected her.
Maxine gave an exaggerated smile, "Pleeeaaaasssseeeee."
Max looked over the radio. He was never very good with mechanical things. "So, what's wrong with it?" Max asked, as he checked it over.
"It doesn't play," Maxine said, deadpan.
"I know that. What I want to know is . oh, never mind."
Max shook it and banged it with the side of his hand. Still nothing. 99 walked by with a laundry basket, putting away clothes. She stopped and looked at Max's plight. Leaning in, she whispered to Max, "Did you check for batteries?" Max opened the back and found only three batteries instead of the required four.
Max chortled. "I found the problem. You need another battery."
Maxine smiled and looked over to 99, "Thanks, Mom."
Max opened his mouth to say 'your welcome' when he realized the thanks was not for him. He glanced over to 99 as she shrugged and moved on.
"99, can we talk?" Max asked, as he followed 99 down the stairs.
"I need to get breakfast started for the kids. You can talk to me in the kitchen."
Max followed her to the kitchen. He stood in the middle as she worked her way around him getting things ready for pancakes.
"99, do you think I'm too old?" Max queried.
99 grabbed the milk from the fridge and rolled her eyes. She had heard this question before from Max over the past week.
"Would you get the plates down? " 99 asked as she opened the pancake box.
Max wanted her full attention. "99, .."
99 was getting annoyed with him. "Max, you have asked that same question over and over this past week. You asked it before you turned 50, and you asked it after you turned 50. I keep telling you 'no, you're not old'. What more do you want me to say?"
Max grabbed for the plates and started to feel like a pest.
"It's not easy to turn this age and not feel old."
"Max, with the kind of work you do, you're lucky you've made it to 50."
Just as Max was ready to say something, Zach burst through the kitchen door, "Is breakfast ready?"
"Just about. Now go get Maxine and Jimmy," 99 said, as she poured the batter into the pancake maker.
Zach yelled at the top of his lungs, "MAXINE! JIMMY! BREAKFAST!"
Max cringed at his high-pitched voice. "Your mother told you to get them, not holler for them."
"Sorry, Dad," Zack said, as he ploughed through the kitchen doors.
Max sat and shook his head. "99, I haven't seen Max all morning."
"I thought we agreed there were too many Max's in this house and that we would call Max Jr. by his middle name, so not to confuse the issue."
Max felt like his mother was scolding him.
"I know, 99. Then why didn't we just make his first name James?"
"Cause you told me if we had another boy, you'd like to call him Maxwell James Smart, Jr."
"So why don't we call him Max?"
99 was getting frustrated. "Because, your name is Max, your daughter's name is Maxine, who now likes to be called Max while she is in her tomboy stage, and Max Jr. There are too many Max's around here. It drives me crazy."
"Oh, ok. Then, getting back to what we were talking about, ."
99 mumbled under her breath, "Not again."
Suddenly it sounded like a locomotive roaring through the living room as three very active children came through the kitchen door.
"I win!" announced Zach, coming through the door first.
99 waved her finger at Zach, "What have I told you about racing to the kitchen? Someone could fall and get hurt! Now sit down, and I'll get your pancakes."
Max felt at a loss. "99, can we talk this weekend?"
"It's gonna have to wait till Sunday night, Love."
"Why?"
99 sighed, "I told you this yesterday. I am going on a campout this weekend with Maxine and her Girl Scout troop."
"Oh, so it's just us bachelors?" Max smiled at the boys.
"Nope, Dad. Jimmy and me are staying at Ryan Black's house this weekend."
"How come you don't want to stay with me?"
"Ryan's got a pool, .we don't," Zach said in a matter of fact tone.
"Max, I'll make you up some dishes that you can reheat for this weekend. Anyway, it looks to me like you could use the break from all of us." Max gave a half-hearted smile and ate his breakfast.
Later that night Max was already in bed as 99 came out of the bathroom.
"What a day," 99 said as she flopped herself into bed. "Boy, am I exhausted. Those three kids of ours are a handful."
99 turned off the light and leaned over and gave Max a peck on the cheek. "Goodnight, Max."
Max slid himself over to 99, and started to caress her shoulder. "99, ."
"Oh, Max, not tonight. I'm so beat." She could see the disappointment on his face. "Tomorrow morning, ok?"
Max nodded and gently kissed 99 goodnight. Max rolled over and went to sleep.
The next morning 99 woke up refreshed. She stretched and looked over to Max while he was still in a state of slumber. Her finger lightly traced the outline of his ear. She leaned her body over his as he awoke to find her face to face with him. Max smiled and quickly got in the mood. He kissed her lips with gentle pecks as his arms reached around and pulled her closer to him. Max rolled 99 onto her back but before anything got started, a knock at the bedroom door disrupted their special time.
99 yelled out, "Whose at the door and what do you want?" A girl's voice called back, "It's Max and I thought you might like to know that Jimmy tried to get his own cereal and spilled it all over the kitchen floor."
Max called out, "Help him clean it up!"
"Why me? I didn't make the mess. Can I come in?"
Both Max and 99 yelled in unison, "NO!"
"I'll be there in a minute. Go downstairs and make sure he doesn't spill anything else," 99 quickly added.
Max looked down at 99, as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Max."
Max rolled over so she could get up, "It's ok, 99."
99 knew it wasn't ok, but that's the way it was with kids. She put her robe on and walked out of the room as Max lay back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Max started to feel a mid-life crisis coming on.