Dead Inside

by Therm

They almost died getting there, now they just have to learn to live again. Sequel to 'They Have No Name'. Shawn/Hunter.

Title: Dead Inside
Summary: They almost died getting there, now they just have to learn to live again.
Notes: Sequel to 'They Have No Name'. You really need to read that first.
Thanks to Audrey for helping with ideas and being my personal memory stick. ;)
Pairings: Shawn/Hunter

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.....'

Shawn closed the book and looked at the cover. 'A Tale of two Cities'. He frowned. It didn't sound very exciting.
Sitting cross legged on the floor in Vince's study he glanced at the rows of books, pulling out another and opening it to the first page and reading those first few printed words of the story.

'You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings.'

He cast aside the other book, feeling that this had the tone he wanted. He looked at the cover. 'Frankenstein'. Books about monsters seemed to be slightly sick for him to be reading but it captured his mood better.

Vince's study had become Shawn's personal space while staying with the McMahon family. He was the outsider here. Everyone else fit in, he didn't.

He wasn't wanted here, was only here because of Hunter not that he saw much of him any more. The rest of them acted like the proper little family, 'The Family'. Shawn was like a hobo turning up at the church on your wedding day.

But the study was his sanctuary, his world, his everything.
The quietness of it drew him in to start with. It was far away from the other community rooms that 'the family' hung out in so he got peace from them. Didn't have to listen to Hunter's damn kids as they played.

There wasn't much too the room but all that he needed. One wall was lined with bookcases and filled completely with books. Shawn had never been a reader but when there was nothing else for him to do, it seemed to be somewhere for him to go, something for him to do. Gave him an excuse to get away from 'the family'. In one corner was a desk and chair. There was a lamp that was plugged in and a computer that wasn't.

The only other piece or furniture was a leather chair. Room for two and perfectly comfortable if he laid with his legs over the arm. Vince didn't look too amused when he saw him for the first time laid across it like that. Shawn was certain he's say something, but he just looked at him silently and carried on.

Vince seemed to realise he'd lost this room to Shawn and never came any more. Hunter was the only one who came here. Usually twice a day. Firstly at dinner because he'd failed to get Shawn to have breakfast but he'd insist he eat dinner with everyone. It was always awkward, Shawn refused to be engaged in conversation with them and the tension always seemed unbearable. At the end of that, he was eager to get back to his safe room. Hunter would come back later on in the night, tell Shawn he was going to bed.
Sometimes Shawn went with him, sometimes he stayed and read. A couple of times he'd slept there but he tried not to seeing as Hunter was always really mad with him the next day. He couldn't figure out why though.

Shawn grabbed one of the throw pillows from the chair and pulled it onto the ground so he could lay and read the book he'd picked. Shawn felt sleep start to grab hold of him, wanted his body to give in and rest. He knew he only had to fight it for a little while before the feeling passed. He sat back up again, not wanting to fall asleep.

He didn't want to sleep.
Sleep bought with it dreams and nightmares and the scariest part about them was he'd already lived them.

**

In body, he was there with his girls as they played, more joyful now their father had returned to them, yet his mind was elsewhere.

In fact, his mind was in Vince's study. Longing to be with the man he'd been through hell with yet not knowing how he could help heal him.

There was some concern about Shawn's mental stability and Hunter had defended him every time it was bought up. He understood the concern they had, but after what Shawn had been through he'd be more worried if he acted normally.

Vince hadn't been happy when Shawn had set up camp in his study and surprisingly, it was Steph who defended him and told her father to leave him alone if it kept him happy. Hunter saw the annoyance in Vince's features after he'd been in there and Shawn had emptied a whole shelf of books on the floor in an attempt to find something he wanted to read. Hunter had gone in and cleaned up after Shawn, told him not to make a mess as they were guests. Hunter still felt the sting of Shawn's words when he'd said that he was the guest, not Hunter and it didn't matter what Hunter had said to him, he still felt like that.

He tried.
Everyday he tried to get Shawn to spend time with them but he could only get him to eat one meal a day as it was and he never finished off that. Hunter knew he was close to being back to good health since the condition they were in when they got here left a lot to be desired but Shawn had made little progress. He'd put some weight back on and his moods had steadied rather than being up and down as they were before, but that was about it. His physical scars were healed and besides the terrible scar left on his arm due to the severity of the injury, he looked pretty normal.

He wished he could stop Shawn's torment though. They'd been through a bad enough time as it were until that damn train and seeing Rebecca. On the nights Hunter had lured Shawn to bed with him and the older man had got some sleep he'd been hounded by dreams- nightmares- and Hunter would be woken by Shawn pitifully calling for his children. He always woke him softly, tenderly, kissed him and held him while Shawn's eyes shed tears yet he never seemed to acknowledge it, like he cried but it never released any anguish from his tortured soul.

The loss of his children to a fate he couldn't accept was Shawn's burden and he carried it with him every second of everyday and it wore him down. He couldn't do anything to lessen the load. His own heart was heavy with the strain of grieving with Shawn, he could only imagine how much more intolerable it was for Shawn to take.

The fact that Hunter knew that there was a slim chance Shawn's kids could still be alive tore him apart. He hated that he was keeping such a secret from Shawn. But he couldn't tell him. The chance that they'd survived this while living in the heart of the outbreak seemed slim and he knew telling Shawn might save him from his current tortured state, yet would finish him off if they weren't alive.

Hunter had no choice. For now he'd have to keep everything how it was and keep Shawn in the dark.

**

The clouds were heavy as the rain poured down and low rumbles of thunder could he heard in the distance.

There was no better place to view a thunderstorm in the house than where he sat. He was drawn from the weather by the news.

".... as we've seen the clear up operation taking place across the country is a huge task. The virus originally started in Texas and spread quickly from state to state. The clear up is working in reverse so that the last area reached is Texas. The death toll there is expected to be the highest, with millions in that state alone reported missing. However, experts say that there is less risk of the virus surviving there as it would only survive as long as it's host did. Once the victim of the virus died, the virus would only survive for an hour. Most of the virus victims died between 3 to 5 days due to dehydration."

Everyone was quiet, watching. The news was starting to be good again. Something hopeful. Hunter passed his youngest daughter across to her mother as he went to where Shawn was sat. Taking the seat next to him, he spoke in hushed tones for Shawn to hear only. "You hear that?" He asked, not sure if Shawn had been listening to the TV. His attention had turned back to the outside world.

"What?" Shawn asked blankly.

"About the clear up. They'll be at Texas before you know it. We could go back."

"For what?"

"Someone could have survived." Hunter tried to reassure.

"Who? My parents? My kids? The old and the young don't have a good chance, I've heard that on the reports before. They'll be no one left. There's no reason to go back."

"It's gotta be worth trying, hasn't it?" He reached for Shawn's hand. And like every time he touched him, Shawn froze. Besides from the nights when he woke him, they barely touched. And not at all intimately.
Shawn didn't want to be touched at all. By anyone, in anyway. "Sorry." He removed his hand.

Shawn looked outside again. The rain was falling heavier now. "Can we go outside?"

"What for?" Hunter asked.

Shawn shrugged. "It looks nice out there." When Hunter didn't answer, Shawn looked to him. "I wanna go out."

"We'll go then."

**

There was something peaceful about being out there.

No sound except the rain hitting the ground and watching it puddle around them. Shawn looked peaceful out here, at ease even if all he seemed to do was stand in the rain. It might seem like that was all Hunter did too, but there was more to it. He was watching over Shawn. Making sure he stayed safe.

It seemed to be all he did. Watching for signs that he wasn't coping, something to say that he was cracking under the strain.

"I don't wanna be inside. Not when it's like this out here." Shawn said.

"It's cold and wet out here. We can't stay out for long."

Shawn looked at Hunter as though he hadn't expected him to answer. Hunter sat on the steps as Shawn walked around a little. He kicked at the gravel path until he spotted something on the grass and walked over to it. Hunter watched him like a hawk, realised it wasn't anything on the grass he'd spotted, it was the grass.

And when he got to it, he lay down in the wet, muddy ground.

Hunter cringed a little. Hoped no one in the house was watching, thinking Shawn was too dangerous to be around. But he didn't stop him, didn't try to move him.
After a little while, he went over to him. They'd been outside in the rain for almost twenty minutes.

"We should go inside." Hunter said.

"I like it out here."

"You might like it in there too if you spent some time with people."

Shawn seemed to go as dark and miserable as the weather. "I just want to be alone."

"It's not good to spend so much time alone."

"I might as well get used to it. Once the clear up is finished, I'll be on my own."

"Why? What's happening to me?" Hunter asked. He crouched down nearer to Shawn now.

"You'll stay here. With your family. You won't leave your kids behind."

"And where are you going then? You said there was no point going back home."

"There are other places. They'll be a place for me out there somewhere."

Anger surged as he grabbed Shawn's arm, hoisted him up into a sitting position. "You're place is with me. You're my family."

"Get off!" Shawn yelled back, pulled his arms free. He let his body fall back to the ground, kept his arms in a defensive position.

Hunter stood back up and walked towards the door. But he didn't go in.
How could he abandon Shawn, to go inside where it was warm and safe. After going through all they'd been through together, he wasn't about to let a little rain come between them.

Turning back from the cover the steps gave he went back to Shawn and laid next to him on the grass. They didn't look at one another, neither spoke a word, but Hunter felt Shawn's soaked through, cold hand work it's way into his.

And Hunter never held on as tightly as he did then.

**

Shawn shivered as they stepped through the doors into the house.

Hunter guided him in, locking the doors behind them. With the doors locked, he lead Shawn through to the room they'd all been in earlier. Only Stephanie remained in there.
She looked up from her book to see their soaking wet appearance, but didn't seem phased at all.

"I put a couple of towels on the table. You should put the fire on, you'll freeze to death otherwise."

"Thanks." Hunter said.

She watched as they went over to the where the towels were. Hunter wrapped Shawn in one, before using the other to wrap over Shawn's head. Even where she sat, she could see he looked perished. She watched as Hunter flapped over him, tried to get his wet clothes off. Sighing, she got up and put the fire on. "I'll get you some more towels." She offered.

"You don't look well." Hunter said as he wiped the rain from Shawn's face. He mentally kicked himself for not insisting Shawn came in earlier.

"I feel better though." Shawn said. Hunter knew he wasn't talking about the possibility of catching a cold. Hunter took one of the towels away and unfastened Shawn's jeans and slipped them down his legs. Legs that were once so tanned but had faded with time. A paleness to his skin that he hadn't seen in years. Jeans discarded he wrapped the towel round Shawn's slender waist before removing the other towel from around Shawn and pulling the t-shirt off. He went to cover Shawn up, but Shawn stopped him, grabbing the towel and drying Hunter's face with it. He leant in and whispered "Who looks after you?"

Hunter smiled at Shawn. The rain truly seemed to wash away some of Shawn's problems that had burdened him since they arrived. "You always take care of me." Hunter said.

He almost dared to lean in for a kiss, felt Shawn might react well, but he could hear someone coming and decided against it.

Stephanie returned with towels in her arms and handing them over, she went away again. The room felt like theirs. Hunter grabbed a fresh towel and wrapped that around Shawn's upper body

"You feel better now?"

"Drier." Shawn said, letting Hunter rub him dry. He closed his eyes and leant against Hunter, his body still soaked in wet clothes. Shawn didn't seem to care or notice.

He finished drying Shawn but held him close. "Where do you wanna go now?" he asked. Shawn had enjoyed watching the rain and Hunter expected him to want to stay in this room, seeing as Vince's study had no windows. When Shawn said their room, he felt elated. As happy as he had been when he held his daughters in his arms for the first time in months.

Hunter turned the fire off before they left the room. His own fire was burning inside of him. And it was hot enough for two.

**

He couldn't remember the last time he woke up this way.

A feeling of contentment settled as the sun shone through the window, bathing everything with a golden tone. A complete contrast to how yesterday's weather had been. Maybe the storm had passed.

In his arms, Shawn slept peacefully. They usually slept separated until the sobbing woke him up and he'd spend the rest of the night comforting Shawn who, by daybreak, would have pushed all his feelings away as though they didn't exist if he tried not to acknowledge them.

Today was different. Today would be glorious.

His kids could start to get to know their real Uncle Shawn. The man who needed to heal from his own loss, and what better way than to let two little girls into his life?
They were never allowed to see them both before. Whenever Steph let him see the girls, she preferred it if it was only Hunter. She didn't want them confused.
Occasionally, Shawn had seen them, but they never really interacted with him. Murphy was intimidated by him. Shawn didn't always come across warm and friendly, but Aurora, being that bit older seemed to be interested in him. She'd seen the tattoo's on his wrist and was fascinated by it.

Hunter so wanted them to have a relationship with Shawn. They could be a family. A unique and weird family, but it could work.

He slipped his arm out from underneath Shawn's head. He saw Shawn's eyelids flutter open for the briefest of moments before he seemed to relax back into sleep again. He made his way down towards the kitchen felt the need to make a coffee to wake himself up fully. He made Shawn a drink too, although made his decaf. When he turned to take the coffee, he was surprised to see Shawn stood behind him.

"Hey." Hunter said, smiling. "I made you coffee." He said holding out the cup a little. Shawn didn't take it. "Are you okay?" Hunter asked, hoping to get a response from him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked.

"No reason." Hunter replied. His hope for a change faded at the terse responses coming from Shawn. "It's a beautiful day, we could go outside again."

Shawn frowned as he looked at the window and shook his head. "Why'd we wanna go out there?"

Hunter smiled, bitterly. "I guess we wouldn't. You had a good sleep though, right?" Hunter asked. He put Shawn's drink down as he sipped his own.

Shawn shook his head again. "I thought we had a good night. I haven't slept so well since we got here."

"That's you, not me. I couldn't sleep... and then you woke me up when I did get to sleep."

"I'm sorry." Hunter said. "Why don't you go back to bed. I'll make sure I stay away."

"It's too late now. I'm up."

"You could go lay in bed and I'll make you some breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."
Hunter didn't say anything to that. He waited. Because he knew what was coming next.

"I'm gonna go." Shawn said, turning back round.

"I'm coming back now. We can go together."

"I'm not going back there with you. I'm gonna go read for a while."

"Shawn, wait." Hunter said, as Shawn turned to go. He reached out for him, but hesitated at touching him. He locked eyes with him, but he was unreadable again. Untouchable. Lost to him. "Why don't you bring it back to the bedroom, huh? Just, lay in bed with me and read. Doesn't that sound better?" It was desperate and needy, but he didn't care. He wanted to try to hang onto anything good from the night before.

"I'd rather be alone."

**

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes." Steph said, standing at the door to what was Shawn and Hunter's bedroom.

"Thanks." He said distractedly.

She didn't leave. Instead she watched him as he sorted out the clothes into a pile. Shawn's clothes for tomorrow. When he turned round and saw her still watching he looked almost embarrassed to be caught.

"What?" He asked, defensively.

"I was wondering if you think Shawn might want to sit with us today. You know, after dinner."

"I doubt it."

"It might do him some good."

"I'm sure it would but he's not in a real social mood these last few weeks."

"He was okay yesterday."

"That was yesterday." Hunter replied.

"You haven't spent that much time with him, you know."

"I'm trying to make up for lost time with my daughters."

"At his expense."

"When have you ever known anything about mine and Shawn's relationship?"

"I know you loved him enough to leave me and your daughter's for." Steph shot back. "And now you're nowhere to be seen."

"You don't think I want to be with him? He doesn't want to be with anyone right now."

"He was with you yesterday. Maybe he's sending you the signals that he needs you there and you're too narrow-minded to see them. Or maybe you're just not trying hard enough." She said before turning on her heels and leaving.

Hunter's anger simmered as he paced around the room, giving her time to have gone before he went to see Shawn. He couldn't believe that she was questioning his relationship with Shawn. He stopped pacing when he realised why. She was trying to cause cracks between them. Guilt him into smothering Shawn when he needed space.

He knew he wouldn't fall into her trap. He headed down to the study. To Shawn.

**

Shawn let the book fall shut as he heard the floorboards creak outside his door.

He watched as the handle turned slowly and the door opened, but instead of Hunter, his eldest daughter stood there. He'd always been amazed how much the little girl looked like her parents, but whenever he saw her eyes, he always thought of Hunter.

"Hello." She said as she stepped into the room. Just one step. She was curious but not sure about the man, even though she's seen Shawn many times before.

"Hi." Shawn said.

"Why are you always in here?" She asked as she looked curiously at the book on the floor in front of him. He wondered if she'd even been allowed to be in here seeing as it was Vince's study- no place for little girls.

"I just like reading."

"I have books you can read." She said. She took another few steps in the room, looking around at what was in it and going over to the chair. She looked down at him as he sat on the floor, the book closed in front of him. Curious but cautiously she sat down next to him. He smiled at her meekly, mostly due to her resemblance to Hunter. He liked to be reminded of him, even if he didn't want to see him all the time.

Carefully, she reached forward. Towards the book. Wanted to see what it was. But she reached the book and kept going. Didn't stop until her little fingers brushed against the skin on his left wrist. Over the bracelet style tattoo's that bore his children's names. "What does it say?" She asked.

He jerked his hand away from her touch, saw her startle at his sudden movement, her face start to scrunch up.

"Don't...... don't touch me." he said.

His tone harsh, the little girl began to cry.

She ran to the door crying just as Hunter got there.

**

Hunter hushed his daughter as she sobbed in his arms, outside the closed door of the study.

"...he told me off....." She cried.

"It's okay, baby." He soothed.

"What's wrong?" Stephanie asked as she approached the door, her concern clear.

"She went in with Shawn and he told her off or something." Hunter said, not being able to get the story out of the hysterical child very clearly.

"Oh that's great!" Stephanie said as she held her arms out and took her daughter.

"It's not his fault..." Hunter said, defending Shawn.

"No, it's not, it's yours. Your child, your boyfriend." Stephanie said. She kissed her daughters head. "You need to sort him out." Stephanie said, words harsh as her anger boiled over.

"It's not as simple as just walking in there and making everything better." Hunter defended.

"You haven't even made a start! He's as bad now as he was the first day you two got here."

"I haven't got time to stand here with you, I'll go somewhere I'm needed."

"He doesn't need you, he needs a damn shrink."

"Bitch." Hunter spat back before opening the door and going into the study with Shawn. He made sure he slammed the door shut after, and leant with his back against it.

"I'm sorry." Shawn whispered from where he still sat in the floor. His right hand held onto his left wrist, covered the tattoo's he didn't want to see. Didn't want to remind him.

Hunter crouched down so he was closer to Shawn's eye level. Not that he was looking at him. Shawn's gaze was fixed on the ground in front of him. "Shawn?" He waited for the haunted gaze of Shawn's too look up to him.

"Come with me?" He asked, holding out his hand for Shawn to take. He didn't expect it. But Shawn took it.

And Hunter lead him back to their room. To Hunter's safe place.

**

He could hear the heated discussion taking place before he even got into the room.

He'd spent hours calming Shawn, left him sleeping in their room while he came to speak with the others about 'the situation'. He knew there was unrest now. Aurora had stopped crying hours ago, the whole thing forgotten about by her. He couldn't say the same about Shawn.
He'd tried to stop himself getting engulfed by his memories of his children, but it was too much. His loss, Hunter daughter being right there- he couldn't cope with it. He didn't cope with it.

It was the first time Shawn seemed to consciously grieve for his loss. Hunter hoped it would end up being a good thing, even if holding him while he went through it was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

And now, he had to leave him alone and come here and discuss it with people who wanted them out. He knew it. He could feel the argument before he even opened the door.

The silence as he opened the door was unwelcoming and he didn't intend on staying long. He stood by the door, his body language defensive, his eyes never met with anyone else's

"I want you two out." Vince blurted out, his face red with anger.

Hunter looked up at him, his own anger at boiling point. His surprised when Stephanie steps in.

"Dad!" She warns.

"I'm not having that nut case near my Grandchildren." He threatens. "In my own home!"

"Don't call him that." Hunter threatens, tone low and dangerous. Linda puts her hand on her husbands arm, trying to calm him.

"Why? It's true? He can't be trusted around anyone."

"I'd trust him a hell of a lot more than I'd ever trust you." Hunter warns.

"Of course you would. You cheated on my daughter to be with him. You have no reason to trust me. I hate you for what you did to my girl."

Hunter looks at Stephanie. Her head was down. It still hurt her. He never thought about it from her side. Why would he? He did what he had to do. "You know, I'll be happy to go. I'd rather take my chances with that virus than with you. You're more destructive." Hunter said, turning to leave.

"Fine." Stephanie said. "So which one of you is going to tell my daughters that their father has left again?"

"Stephanie..." Vince started towards her.

"Don't! Don't tell me that you want to protect them when you're not, you're going to hurt them by doing what you want." She took a breath, tried to calm herself, but a tear escaped nonetheless. She turned to her father. "You're just scared. We all are, Dad." She sniffed and looked to Hunter. "If you really think leaving is the best for you both...."

"I don't know what the hell is for the best." Hunter said. Shaking his head. "You think I'm doing a bad job here, because you know, I'll take any pointers you have. I'm serious, I have no clue." He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back. He looked at Vince again. His own anger had been drained. "You think Shawn's not stable? You're probably right. He saw Rebecca as one of those... things. Saw her dead body. And then add to that his kids should have been with her. How could he be the same? He just..." His voice strained, threatened to crack. He swallowed hard, willed himself to sound strong. "He's just..." Cracked. He sounded weak.

But Stephanie came over. Rubbed his arm. "You're not going anywhere." She said. Turning to her father, he just nodded. His own anger had gone. "Just go be with him. Take care of him." She said.

He didn't need to be told again. He left.

**

The day was bright and sunny.

Not a cloud in the sky as the sun gently warmed his skin. He walked down the path, Hunter ahead of him. Looking at the ground below, he watched the dust as it was kicked up by his movements. He stopped walking when he saw two paths. Straight ahead was Hunter. He'd stopped. Was waiting for Shawn. And beyond Hunter was the McMahon family.

He looked down the other path. No one was waiting for him down there. But he could see Rebecca, his children. They were walking away. The sound of his children laughing carried by the wind, sounded so distant as they moved further away.

If they kept going, soon they'd be out of sight. He'd lose them forever.

He had to choose.

He woke with a start.

Words wanted to come out but died on his lips as he realised where he was. Hunter was asleep next to him. Looked exhausted. Surprised he didn't wake him, Shawn slipped out of bed at the distant sound of a siren. He went to the window, looked out. He could see nothing but the drive leading to the house, the rest protected by dense woods. There was a road out there somewhere, the one they'd travelled down to get here but he could spot it.

The siren faded into the distance and there was nothing left but the sounds of the night. A gentle breeze stirred some of the trees and he watched them sway gently.

The light from the full moon cast enough light for him to see clearly. His eye caught his bracelet tattoo's on his wrist. Cameron and Cheyenne looked back at him. He covered it with his hand but realised the futility of his action. It was still there. They were still gone.

He heard another siren as he left the window. He moved towards the door but stopped before leaving to look at Hunter. Still sleeping.

He walked the hallways searching.

Wasn't sure what he was looking for, not until he saw the sign.

Aurora's bedroom door was left open, the night-light shone in the room.

He leant against the door-frame looking at the sleeping child. He only vaguely recalled him talking to her the other night, but knew he upset her. Couldn't think how, but that didn't matter. He didn't mean to, things just happen like that. He sighed, frustrated with himself, for his own issues. He knew he had some problems, wanted to work through them. Just that first hurdle seemed to high to ever get over. Because he didn't want to do it. Not what he needed to do to get over the pain.
He needed to give up all hope of ever finding his kids. And he wasn't ready to do that. He might seem hopeless to everyone else, but he was protecting that one last hope, so deeply sometimes even he forgot it was there, inside him still.

He still had faith that maybe his children would have been spared. They were innocent, after all.

If he found out they were dead, to everyone else, there might be no difference. He'd truly be that walking shell they'd come to know him as. But he knew that deep inside, he kept the faith alive. Even if he was the only one to know of it. Hunter accepted him like this. Still tried to coax him back to a somewhat functioning person, but what good would that do if he reverted again. If he was delivered that final, devastating blow, and Hunter lost him again.

It wasn't fair on Hunter or him.

His thoughts were disturbed by the sound of a child crying.

He looked to Aurora, terrified she's woken and seen him and his mere presence had started her enough to cry. Yet the little girl was still sleeping. As soundly as her father.

He followed the cries down the hall until he found the room they came from.

He got there as Stephanie sat beside her daughters bed. She wiped the tears from her eyes, brushed her hair back and spoke quiet, soothing words as the little girl gently was lulled back into sleep.

She sat there a while longer, making sure she was truly asleep before she got up to leave. She startled at his presence. Covered her mouth to hush her self as she walked towards him.

He looked to her eyes, looked for a fear that sane people used on crazy people all the time. He didn't see it.

"Did she wake you?" Stephanie asked, tone hushed as she pulled the door too.

"No, I was awake."

An awkward silence came, only broken when Stephanie eventually thought of something else to say. "Can I get you anything?"

Shawn was distant again. Deep in thought, or lost in his own world, she couldn't tell. But when he looked at her, his eyes looked clear, he was as lucid as any of them. "I'd never hurt them, you know."

"I didn't think you would." She replied.

He looked at her. Unbelieving. "I best go back to bed. I don't want...." He stopped himself.

She knew. "Hunter to worry?" She finished for him. Hurt in her eyes, in her words.

"He'd have been better off if he'd stuck with you though." Shawn said before turning and walking back towards his room. Felt relief as he shut the door. As if he were safe fro the outside world again. He closed his eyes.

He heard another siren.

**

"Hunter!"

Stephanie was at the door sounded frantic. The urgency in her voice woke him immediately. Shawn was bolt upright too, both sets of eyes upon her worriedly.

She didn't say anything as she left the room and dashed down to the lounge.

Shawn and Hunter followed behind her. The sound of the TV could be heard as they approached. They got in the room to see live pictures from a helicopter, reporting from a small town very near to where they lived. Maybe no more than a 10 minute drive from the very house they were watching in.

The flash at the bottom of the screen was reporting victims of the virus at that town.

Vince and Linda watched on one of the couches, faces etched with fear at what was happening. Shawn passed the TV and went to the window. The same one he sat at the other day when it rained. Hunter and Stephanie stayed standing, his eyes watching what Shawn did until he saw him settle, her eyes watching Hunter.

The reporter at the studio gave some details of a family who were attacked after returning home.

"Oh my God, what if it gets here?" Stephanie asked. It was close enough that it would be easy to. Hunter offered her some consolation in the form of a hand on hers. She smiled worriedly at him. "The girls..." She said, terrified at what could happen to them.

"It'll be okay. It's probably an isolated incident."

"No, they've had reports all morning." Linda interjected. "That's the closest to us, but they're still happening. They say it's being dealt with and to stay inside."

"That's what they said in Texas." Hunter reminded. He looked across to Shawn. Although he wasn't watching the TV, he was listening. Reacted to Hunter's words but said nothing.

"So we should leave?" Stephanie asked. "But where would we go?"

"I could get the jet to take us somewhere, if we could find a pilot." Vince said.

"Maybe we could get a boat." Linda suggested.

Hunter left Steph's side and went over to Shawn. He still stared out the window, but he was shaking his head. He sat beside him before he spoke. "What's wrong?"

"We shouldn't leave." Shawn said, his voice a strange tone to it.

"What?"

Shawn turned and looked at Hunter. "What did they say in Texas, Hunter? What did they say?" He demanded.

"To.. to stay." Hunter repeated.

"Why didn't we stay? Why did we leave?"

"You remember the report, it said get out of your homes. It wasn't safe."

Shawn shook his head. "I bet more people died listening to that than staying in. Everyone we saw was hiding somewhere else, running to somewhere safer. And they nearly all died. We nearly died getting here. What's the chances that all those people who stayed where they were are actually safe at home still."

"We don't know what."

"But we don't know it's not true. We tried running. Maybe this time we should try staying."

"Hunter, the girls." Stephanie pleaded.

"We gotta put them first, Shawn." Hunter said.

"You think... you think they'll be better out there?" He yelled.

"Shawn, look...."

"No, no, they're you're kids... you know best. I- I don't have kids... it's not the same."

"Shawn..."

Shawn moved away from Hunter. "Do what you like. You always do." He moved towards the door where they'd come from but stopped short of leaving. "But how do you know?"

"How do I know what?"

"How do you know that it wasn't us that bought it here."

"Shawn, wait." Vince said hopelessly as the Texan vanished.

Hunter took a deep breath, he could deal with Shawn later. "What do you guys think we should do?"

"He does have a point, you know." Vince reasoned.

"I know." Hunter admitted.

"Maybe it's worth waiting and seeing what happens. Maybe it's on a small scale." Linda added.

"We could move everything to the second floor and make things more protected for us there. We'd at least have a good view of everything." Stephanie mused.

A strange beep cut through the momentary silence. "What was that? Hunter asked.

They all looked to one another before Steph clicked. "I charged one of your phones." She said. Moving over to where it was plugged in. "I have one of those adapters that fits all the phones, more or less." Unplugging it, she handed it to Hunter.

"Ah, that's... Rebecca's." He said, reluctant to take it.

"Oh." Stephanie said. "Sorry, I.... thought I was helping."

"It's okay, I'll take it. Thanks." He said, holding out his hand for it. She passed it across to him. Smiled. They were close, her parents out of ear shot. "Some of those messages make interesting reading."

"You read them?" Hunter said, angry.

"I thought it was your phone at first. Thought there was a lot of girls on there. Seems that maybe Shawn doesn't know about them. I especially enjoyed the one from his parents saying they'd look after his kids. And from what he's said, he obviously knows that, right?"

"What do you want?"

She smiled. "I want to make you as miserable as you made me. Welcome to my world of hurt, bitch." She spat, as she went out the same door as Shawn had left moments ago.

**

"You don't trust me." Shawn yelled the minute Hunter entered the room.

He was pacing, agitated. Maybe it was from the notion that the creatures could come here and until then, it had been safe, had seemed safe. The idea that all that security would be gone was scary.

"Shawn, I do..."

"No. You don't. You think I'm crazy."

Hunter was stumped with what to say to that. He didn't think Shawn was completely crazy, but he wasn't exactly grounded either. "What can I do to prove it to you? You wanna stay here, you think that's the safest thing? Then we'll go tell them, make them stay."

"No." Shawn said, angry. "That's not it." He paced more, looked more restless. "Those girls, Hunter. They'll be so scared.... running from place to place, never knowing if they'll be safe." He shook his head. "I can't cope with it.... they're just little children. How can they?"

"Everything okay?" Stephanie asked. The door was left opened and she had obviously been listening. Hunter tensed on her arrival.

"We're fine." Hunter said.

Ignoring him, she walked over to Shawn, blocked his path as he tried to pace. She grabbed his hands. "We're doing what you say." She said. "I have faith in you, and what you think. So we're gonna stay. We're going to shift whatever we can upstairs, make it secure, and we're staying. Because of you."

Hunter silently scoffed at her speech. If Shawn had been in his right mind, he was certain he'd have seen through the shallow ploy. But he wasn't, and he didn't.

She went to leave, to start moving.

"What if it's the wrong choice." He said, scared of the implications.

She halted at the door. "It won't be. No one will do more to save my two little children than someone who lost his own."

Hunter watched her exit, her cruel final blow landed as she was now she'd left the disaster area. He felt himself feel with anger, barely contained as he looked at Shawn. That haunted look on his face as he was no doubt caught up in memories of his own children.

He tried to swallow his rage at Stephanie's actions. Her manipulation of Shawn.

There was one way out of it. If he told Shawn the truth there was nothing that she could hold over him. But the fear holding him back was if it would destroy Shawn. Looking at Shawn he saw that uncertainty. His pacing had come down to uncertain movements. Not sure where to go. Direction-less

"Shawn." Hunter said. Shawn's eye sought him until they locked. He moved over to him and even though he felt the timing wasn't right, that it wasn't the right thing to do, he leant forward, kissed Shawn. The kiss that was supposed to say everything he couldn't It would be okay, they'd get through it all if they stayed together, that he loved him.

When they broke apart, he was sure Shawn looked a little more content than before. A little more at peace.

"Stay here. Don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be right back."

Before he even turned round, Shawn stopped him.

"Don't leave me." And in his eyes, he could see that Shawn got everything he wanted him to in that kiss.

Hunter moved back, grabbed Shawn's hand. "We go together."

The faintest smile touched Shawn's face.

**

The day was bright and sunny.

He walked down the path, Hunter ahead of him. Looking at the ground below. He stopped walking when he saw two paths.
Straight ahead was Hunter.
He looked down the other path, Rebecca and his kids. The sound of his children laughing, so distant, a memory.
Everyone carried on while he froze. Unable to move. Unable to choose a path.
He'd lose them all forever.
He had to choose.

He woke slowly this time. The dream familiar to him, even if details changed.
Everyone moving along despite him. No one was waiting any more. He wondered if it was some kind of message. A way of telling him that none of them would wait forever for him to stop moping, that he had to pull himself together despite his tragedy.

Shawn freed himself from Hunters embrace, an arm slung over him as Hunter slept soundly, and made his way to the window. He looked to the trees, for movement. For anything that said that they were coming.
Nothing seemed to stir beyond the wind blown movements of the branches.

He left the room, made his way to the lounge. He flicked the TV on and watched the news. Seemed as though things were getting sorted. That the reported outbreak had been contained, managed. It hadn't spiralled like before.
He felt a sense of relief, but there was still the anxiety he could never shake, would never shake until he knew his children's fate.

He sensed someone behind him and turned. Saw Stephanie standing by the doorway, watching him.

"Did I wake you?" Shawn asked, not even sure of the time.

"I was awake." She answered.

He paused briefly, not sure whether to turn back to the TV or to speak to her more. "Is there something I can do for you?"

She looked thoughtful for a minute. "I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt you, you know that right?"

"I know." He replied. Felt uncomfortable. "Maybe I should go." He stood up.

"There's something you need to know."

"Maybe in the morning." He said, as he went to pass her. She grabbed his arm to stop him.

"It can't wait 'til morning."

"It can't be that important."

"Judge for yourself. Rebecca's phone...."

"What about it?" He snapped, defensive at the mention of her name.

"Hunter has it. You need to read the messages on it. You need to know what we already know."

"We?" Shawn queried, confused.

"Hunter and myself."

"Wh- Why are you two reading Rebecca's messages. I don't understand..."

"Just go, read them." She pleaded. Wanted him to find out. Know Hunter's betrayal. But she saw it. In his eyes. A fear of what he'd find.
And whatever shred of stability he'd clung too, now snapped. He grabbed her arm, twisted it round, his other hand grabbing her hair. He had control of her.

"You can show me." He whispered in her ear.

And for the first time since Shawn and Hunter had arrived, she felt a real fear for her safety, her children's and her parents. Even Hunter's.

And far too late she realised the danger of playing games with people who only wanted to play by their own rules.

**

Vince could hear the TV before he even got into the room.

He saw Shawn sat there, watching the news.
"Think you could turn the sound down a little?" He asked.

Shawn turned to look at Vince. "No." he said, voice flat and hollow.

"Fair enough." Vince said. Shawn continued to stare, so Vince ignored him, went and sat down as far from Shawn as possible.
From where he sat, he could see Shawn had a phone in his hand. He was typing continuously on it. He was curious, but felt that he'd rather not engage Shawn in any more conversations.

The TV was reporting that there were only a few minor cases of the virus in the area and any sightings should be reported to the authorities immediately.
Vince stayed a while longer, getting updated before deciding to share the news with Linda.

As he got up he noticed blood on Shawn's right hand.

"You're bleeding." Vince said. "Do you want me to get you a bandage?"

Shawn briefly stopped his continued typing to look at his hand. "It's not mine." He said.

"So how did it get on your hand?" Vince asked.

If Shawn heard him, he ignored it. Back to messaging someone. Vince got up and made his way past Shawn, slowly. He stopped and looked at the phone, to see what he was doing. He saw Shawn typing the message "Where are you?". Sent it. To his parents phone. He typed the same message again straight after. Sent that one to his parents as well.
As he typed it out a third time, Vince already knew who would receive it.

Shawn paused, started to turn, but Vince left before he had to lock eyes with him. Knew that if he looked, Shawn would see his fear.

**

Vince was surprised to see Linda in their bedroom, holding Murphy in her arms.

On Vince's confused look, Linda explained. "She was crying and no one was going to her. Where's Stephanie?"

"I don't know, but I think we should maybe go. I just...."

"Shawn?" Linda said, looking past her husband to the hallway.

Vince turned. Could see Shawn walking towards the room. Something terribly disturbing about him. And aura about him.
"Get in the bathroom and lock the door." Vince said.

"What?"

"Go now." Vince said.

Linda didn't hesitate again, recognising the seriousness in her husbands voice.

"I want something." Shawn said as he entered the room.

"What?"

"Car keys."

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Keys." he repeated.

"By the front door. There's a key box." Shawn turned, started to leave.

"Why are you leaving?" Vince asked.

Shawn paused, turned slightly. His eyes met Vince's and there was nothing there. He looked as hollow as he'd sounded earlier. "There's nothing here for me." Shawn said.

"Hunter?"

Before Shawn answered, the man in question threw himself at Shawn, knocking him to the ground, and didn't stop landing blows on him until Shawn didn't move any more.

**

Hunter stepped into the room, already it felt different. Lonely.

It had only been a few hours ago that he'd woke to find Stephanie next to him on the bed. At first he thought it was one of her games. Until he saw Shawn. And then he realised Steph was crying.

He'd been glaring down at the pair of them. Something so wrong about him.

"Shawn?"

"He knows about Rebecca's phone." Stephanie blurted.

"You know about it?" Shawn asked, directed to Hunter.

"I've got it." Hunter said.

"So... tell me. What's the big secret?"

Hunter couldn't speak. How could he find the words to explain this to Shawn? He'd never understand. Not now.

Shawn looked to Steph. "You tell me." He demanded of her.

Stephanie seemed to cry harder. Hunter never thought she'd be able to get the words out. But somehow, she managed it. The choked sobs breaking apart the words, but she told him. And he watched Shawn process it. The idea that his children weren't with Rebecca. That if they had stayed with his parents they could still be alive.

The silence stretched to breaking point.

"You knew?" Shawn asked, his eyes fixed on Hunter. He'd never seen anyone look so hurt before.

" We couldn't go back, Shawn."

When Shawn had turned to leave, Hunter scrambled for him, grabbed him, stopped him.

Shawn hurt turned to anger. Hunter tried to stop him, but he fought him off, fought him with the rage he felt inside. But Hunter fought just as hard for him. And he was stronger. Shawn knew that. He grabbed for the closest thing to him, a glass on the table, half filled with water and hit him with it.

Shards of glass fell to the ground, water splashed off the floor. Hunter arm glistened with water and glass. Blood quickly seeped through.

Shawn anger didn't subside at the hurt he caused. He pushed Hunter away, felt the wetness on his hand as he watched the bigger man lose his balance and stumble across the bed.

Gave Shawn the chance to slip out the door. The key was in the lock. It took one quick turn before Hunter had been sealed in with Stephanie.

And now he was here. Alone.

Vince had been crazed, wanted Shawn out. He said he didn't care what happened to him.

Hunter knew he had to save him. Had to keep him here somehow.

Eventually he'd got Vince to agree to let him stay in the study. Vince's condition's were harsh. Door locked at all times except for when Hunter got to take some food and water to him. There was at least a small en suite bathroom which Hunter was grateful for.

He lay down on the bed. Wished Shawn was with him.

Wondered what he'd do in that room. Knew he was already a wreck. Knew he'd end up withdrawing further
He knew it was his fault too. Knew if he'd had the guts to be honest, this would never have happened. Shawn should have known when he still had a chance to go back.

And now, for Shawn there was no going back.

**

The lock clicked and then silence.

It was late into the night. Food had been and gone hours ago. The tray that was bought in remained where it was. Untouched.

He saw a little light as the door was opened.

"Shawn, it's Hunter. I'm turning the lamp on, okay. I just wanna talk." Hunter turned the light on, illuminating the room with a dim light which was soft and warming.

Shawn sat on the floor, eyes on Hunter. He came all the way in, shut the door behind him and then sat on the floor. He didn't sit close to Shawn.

"You mind if I talk?" Hunter asked. He got no answer, just Shawn's glare. "I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry."

Shawn looked away. Looked uninterested.

"I guess you probably expected me to say something like that, huh? It's really true though. I....I guess I was trying to stop this from happening. Because I didn't want you to get hurt, and well... obviously I suck at that."

Hunter got no reaction. Not that he expected one.

"You know, all night I've been laying in bed thinking about you. Since I saw you earlier and I was trying to find the words to make things better and it was so stupid because I knew there weren't any. I can't make this better with an apology or telling you how bad I feel. I... I can't make you better. And I hate myself because I've done this to you." For the briefest moment, Shawn looks. "I can't change what I did, no matter how much I wish it, but I can make it right now. For you."

Hunter held his hand out. In his palm was a car key.

"There's a car out there, loaded with everything you need. Just... go. Tonight. Don't look back. Just go."

Shawn didn't say anything. Didn't take the key either. Hunter put it down and stood up. "I should go." He paused before leaving. "Just.... stay safe."

**

The bedroom was dark.

He wasn't tired. Knew sleep wouldn't come to him. Might not ever come again because of what he'd done. He made his way across the room in the darkness and stopped at the window. He could see the car, see that the door downstairs was already open, the light spilled from it. And there was the shadow of a person there. Watched until the man was visible. As he made his way to the car.

As he left.

But as Hunter watched, Shawn progressed no further. Stuck between the house and the car... his freedom. Shawn didn't go anywhere.

The sound of someone running down the hall pulled him from the window. He turned in time to see Stephanie get to the door. "Dad needs your help." She panted.

Something in her eyes said she was serious, genuine. He followed her as she ran back down the hall, Hunter by her side.

**

Shawn looked at the car.

Was ready to take and he could leave all this behind him. Could go and search desperately for that bit of sanity he knew was back in Texas somewhere. Had been back there. By now, who knew.

Here was safe. Safe and was home. Hunter's old home. His kids home. But for Shawn it was void of life. Just a lot of people, even more noise. He felt more dead since they got here than he thought was possible. Hadn't felt this bad when he'd been out of his mind on pills and booze, but here... this was his hell.

But it was safe.

Didn't want to make Hunter leave it. Didn't want to leave alone. Maybe he wanted someone else to make the decision for him.

Maybe God would make that decision for him.

Hunter called his name.

God's decision?

He turned to see what it was.

**

Hunter raced through the house, desperate for something that could help him. Save them.

Had no idea where anyone else was. Except Vince... knew where he was .

They were so fast. They'd never been this fast before. This was different. He got through the room, locked the door behind him. It'd give him some time. Did it with every door he got through until there were none left. The next door went outside... was already open. Was where Shawn was. Before he even realised, he yelled his name.

Shawn looked back to him.

"My kids." Hunter called.

The sound of the creatures at the door behind him made him turn back to it and push against it, try to delay them getting through.

Shawn turned back to the car, opened the door.

Hunter felt his hope die within him. Without Shawn, he'd never get his kids out. Maybe it was his payback for not telling Shawn about his own kids.

"Catch." Shawn said, at the door as he threw a bat towards Hunter. One he'd loaded in the car for Shawn's journey.

Hunter's relief overwhelmed him and he felt his strength return as he did his best to keep the creatures at bay.

His best wasn't good enough though.

They soon started to break through.

**

Their bedrooms were empty.

Shawn felt himself almost freeze in fear at the idea of Hunter girls being somewhere else in the house, and him not having a clue where they could be. He didn't even know if they had a play room. Where would they go if they were scared? Steph's room?

He kept running down the hall. Ignored the bellowing screams those creatures made as they invaded the house. Knew it was just a matter of time until they got up the stairs.

He pounded down the hall towards the bedrooms when his eye was caught by a slight movement. He almost forget the room in his haste... Vince's office... his safe room.

He remembered when Aurora came to see him in there.... would she come here again in her search for a safe place?

"Aurora?" Shawn said, speaking softly.

There was no answer. "You're daddy sent me to get you and your sister, but we need to go really quickly."

"I'm scared."

"You don't need to be scared. I'm here to help you."

"You're scary."

"Would your daddy sent me if I was going to try and scare you?"

The door opened a little. He could see one eye. She looked so frightened. He smiled at her. "Shall we go really quickly?"

She nodded.

"'Kay, you hold my hand and I'm gonna carry your sister and you don't let go. You hold really, really tight."

Again she nodded. She opened the door and Shawn went in and lifted up Murphy. She looked confused, too young to understand what was happening. He held out his hand a Aurora took it.

"What about mummy?" She asked.

"Where is she?"

"She was sleepy. She told us to hide in here."

"Okay, well if she's sleepy maybe we should let her sleep." Shawn said, his mind conjuring up images of what could have happened to her. "Lets go." He said as he started to make his way down the hallway.

Half way down, one of the creatures stumbled round the corner.

"Aurora, close your eyes."

**

He reached towards the back seat.

Two sets of bewildered eyes stared back at him. "It'll be okay." He told them, pulling their seatbelts across them and fastening them in safely. He checked again that those doors were locked. They were safe.

He'd make sure they stayed safe. He had to.

Looked briefly to the empty passenger's seat.

He knew that at the very moment Hunter had called for his help, he'd passed through his own problems, because with those two children depending on him to protect them, what other choice did he have.

He wanted to protect them. Needed to.

Nothing mattered to him more now than their safety.

He looked at the house. He wasn't sad to leave the place behind.

It had been a safe place for them to heal, but now that safety had vanished. It was no home any more. Just another over run building. And trying to stay there would be more deadly than leaving.

His darkest days had been in that house, but it had helped. It had given him time, and now it gave him a purpose to carry on again.

It was time to go.

He fastened his own seatbelt.

"You ready?" He asked them.

Murphy looked to her sister and copied her nodding motion.

"Daddy..." Aurora mumbled quietly.

The passenger door closed as Hunter got in, looked back to his daughter. "What's the matter?" He asked her.

"Wanna go now." She said.

"You heard the girl, Shawn. Let's get out of here."

Shawn looked at Hunter.

There were too many things he felt he needed to say. All those times Hunter had spoke to him and he'd almost been unable to answer him, unable to get through his grief. Now he could, but the time just wasn't right. And there was something in Hunter's eyes too. Something that for now, would remain unsaid. Unspoken between the two of them.

So for now, the only thing Shawn could do was drive.

And as his hand rested on the gear stick as they left that house behind, Hunter rested on top of him.

Letting him know that although for now unsaid, they were still united.

Stronger than ever after the hell they'd been through.

The hell that was far from over.