Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or anything mentioned here
Words in Italics are thoughts and descriptions
Words in regular type are spoken words
Dangerous Girls
Parody of the Dave Chappelle Show Sketch Black Bush
if you want to see the real thing go to kill some time dot com
the lead up to eviction
Keitaro Urashima continues to make his case for a tenant eviction of sorts
After carefully examining the current events, me and my friends feel that the place is definitely ripe for some change.
But if I can be real about it?
Be real, son.
Real?
Be real real, son.
Those girls tried to kill me
Don't play that shit with me.
What did they try to do?
THEY TRIED TO HAVE ME BUMPED OFF!
Everything we don't want to see happen to this poor innocent man.
Outside Intelligence
Keitaro Urashima and his long time supporter Haitani offer a spirted explanation for a possible eviction of some of the girls.
This girl Kaolla may very possible have weapons of mass destruction. I can't sleep on that. Not on my watch. That is not how I roll. That is just fucking serious. Now If you don't want to take my word for it. Why don't you ask Haitani. He has a whole another set of intelligence. What's up, Haitani?
We don't know much about these girls. But we can't trust random psychopaths or monsters as Keitaro so eloquently put it. I am with him one hundred percent of the way. We don't know what these girls are capable of.
Proof
If Keitaro Urashima tries to evict the girls, will he first have to provide evidence that the girls are a threat to him? So far, the girls say they are helpless and innocent, but Keitaro Urashima counters with this.
They tried to drug me. Do I need to tell you what the fuck they did to me when I was drugged up? DRUGGED UP!
That don't scare you fine. I didn't want to say this. . . . Those sick fucks have been torturing me okay. They threw me in a room and beat me.
Do you have proof of this?
Yes, I do bitch!
I got the scars and his testimony right here to prove it.
Are you sure? I can't believe these stupid mother fuckers! Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Me and my friend just came back from developing these here pictures
Went to the photo shop up the street.
These monsters doing this sick shit
in a hidden room.
Are you sure that you can prove it?
You dumb ass morons don't believe me. I got some pictures right here.
Look see you believe this shit
Don't show them that picture
I know what I am doing. I got it covered here in this wrapper
Don't show them that shit there. He almost drops it.
Pray to God that he don't show them that picture
Sick shit.
They aren't fucking right.
Cheap Thrills
A sensitive accusation for this man here is the theory held by many that the real reason Urashima is so interested in evicting Naru and the others is for getting them to agree that they can stay as long as he can get his share of cheap thrills.
What do you say about the people who say you are only interested in getting your share of cheap thrills? What? Huh? Cheap thrills? Who said anything about cheap thrills dip shit? You smoking something?
Cheap thrills?
You say something about cheap thrills? They all look at each other with a puzzled look on their faces.
Screw you all I am getting the hell out of here. He and his friends run out of the room while throwing stuff to fool the people listening to her speak.
The girls
Keitaro met with the girls and has made it clear that he will act even if the girls don't agree.
Hey, you have a problem with that? You know what you should do? You should get the manager! Get the manager and evict me! Oh! Wait a minute! I'm the manager! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up. That what I would do if I were you. I would shut the fuck up!
Shut!
The!
Fuck!
Up!
That's right Motoko I 'm not taking orders from a tenant.
You might know sixteen different sword techniques but you are going to need them when you are at the town square selling out your techniques for pocket change
I don't have to do that you see I'm rich.
I got a whole bunch of stuff to use on you. I got forty reasons why you should shut up, girl.
Like what?
Who the fuck said that? Huh? Huh? Like what?
I'm the manager
I am no longer taking shit from you
I am willing. . . . to go to extreme lengths to stop you.
I have super powers that can stop you in your tracks
I have embarrassing pictures that I can show your significant others.
This means that I am not doing this without good reason and I am not disrespecting the girls even though they are sick sadistic monsters.
Go get a man and get laid girl
I am trying to grab your ass oh uh chest. Oops, I really screwed up this time.
END
Author Notes: this is a variation of the original Perverted Keitaro. I am hard at work on Love Hina: Perverted Edition. I am leaning towards following the anime but changing some things to fit my plot. The idea is that I was creating characters who were the mirror opposites of the original. I was also thinking about putting some of the crew of the Hinata Sou in Love Hina Perverted Edition in as a cameo. If you haven't read the story yet, you might want too so you know what I am talking about.