And a great big thanks to my other friend Nate for beta'ing this! You're the brain I never had :3
The only time I wrote on this oneshot was when I myself was sick and really tired.
This oneshot is dedicated to the flu season
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"You look disgusting," came a voice from the end of the couch; Sasuke, no doubt.
"And you look....like a girl," came a growl from the body sprawled on the couch with arm draped over eyes and snot dripping from a fire red nose.
"Wow, you must be sick if that's the best come back you've got." Sasuke scoffed off handily as his weight shifted to his right hip, and his left hand came to a rest on his waist.
"Freakin' jerk! Of course I'm sick! You think I can or would fake a runny nose, sore throat, and stuff. You're too cruel to me, Sasuke." The blond rolled on his side just in time to yank a tissue off the nearby table, catching the volley of sneezes that overcame him the following second. When the surge was finally over, the blond flopped on his back and groaned with exhaustion.
Sasuke walked away from the sore sight on the couch known as his boyfriend while rolling his eyes and taking place behind the kitchen counter to begin preparing their dinner, "I don't see why you don't just take some medicine already."
"Because, for the millionth time, I don't believe in modern medicine. They're just using them to take over the world with mind control or polluting our bodies to the point where we are dependent on their junk to live or something."
Normally, the outspoken blond man would continue on a long winded rant about the government, and how people were too stupid to see what was "going on right in front of them", but he just sank deeper into the couch and sighed into the cushion. A moment of long silence passed between them, and the raven haired man just assumed the other had fallen into a brief nap, like he had been doing all day because of his inability to sleep through the night.
A yawn passed through Sasuke's lips as he thought about sleeping; he himself was quite tired, but he refused to admit it. In the moment it took him to yawn, he failed to hear his boyfriend stumble into the kitchen and lean against the doorframe.
A look of what could only be described as drunken determination overcame Naruto's features. The older of the two jumped when he realized Naruto was now only a few feet away from him rather than sprawled out half dead on the couch. His brows lowered suspiciously as he caught the look in his boyfriend's eyes.
"What do you want, Naruto?"
The blond shrugged his shoulders and tried to seem offhanded, "Nothing much, I just thought of what it is that could cure my cold." Sasuke's brow raised slightly as he crossed his arms across his chest.
"Oh really now?" he lowered his gaze to a glare, "and what would that be?" He kind of had an idea of what Naruto was thinking, but he wasn't one hundred percent. He had heard the blond rambling the other day about all the natural cures there were and one Naruto was particularly keen on.
The blond attempted to sexily saunter forward, but only managed to look like a half drunk man a drink or two before the point of passing out. Snot dripped from his burning nose, but was caught swiftly by a fast acting shirt sleeve. Sasuke flinched in disgust, but Naruto hardly noticed what he just did.
"They say the best medicine for a person is some good ol' man-milk." Naruto purred, until he dislodged some mucus and began a coughing fit.
Sasuke resisted the urge to point and shout 'AHA!" and instead smirked disapprovingly. "Dream on, dobe." Believing his answer to be firm enough, Sasuke turned back to what he was doing and ignored the pouting blond in the corner.
Never turn your back on a horny sick man who is desperate for a cure.
A moment later he felt the wheezing breaths upon his neck and clammy hands wrapping slowly around his waist. "Come on baby, you know you want my lips wrapped around your throbbing cock."
Sasuke felt bile raise up his throat at the thought of a sick-Naruto sucking on his member. "Yeah....Naruto...while that sounds all...completely disgusting. I've got stuff to do so, go sit back down on the couch, and drink your tea."
"Oh, but I'm thirsty for something much better than tea, baby." the sick one ran his hand down Sasuke's muscular stomach and feathered his way over the thick black pants till it came to rest over the limp member beneath. "Oh, not even the slightest bit of stiffening...I'm hurt." He placed his lips to Sasuke's neck, a little smirk played over his lips as he felt a shiver run through the other mans body while he pressed back against Naruto. This was one of Sasuke's sweet spots.
He dragged his teeth slowly across the burning flesh with a groan as he rocked his body against the others. He suppressed the urge to cough by tightening his grip of Sasuke's hips and holding his breath with his eyes shut. The urge past and as soon as it did, he whipped his man around and gently ground their hips together as he wrapped his arms around and went in for a kiss.
Though his eyes were a quarter hounded with lust and he had stopped trying to pull away, Sasuke refused the blond's kiss and quickly turned his head forcing the blond to kiss his neck. He relished in the taste that assaulted his taste-buds. Sasuke's taste was as sharp and complex as Sasuke himself was.
His tongue sampled and mapped the areas of Sasuke's neck he knew weren't too sensitive, forcing Sasuke to crave more.
Rocking their hips together again he smirked with delight as Sasuke's eyes fluttered shut and at last his hands shot up and gripped Naruto's shoulders for support. "Oh yeah, you like this, don't you. You aren't as shut off as you think, are yo-"
A sneeze overcame him. Their foreheads cracked together and snot rocketed all over Sasuke's face and chest.
If he didn't think his chances were over before, they certainly were now.
The offended man shoved the offender off him, with force and anger behind his wrath. The seeking hand he smacked Naruto across the face. His face was reddened with rage, eye twitching with speed, if words could form in his mouth at that moment the blond would go deaf. Instead of fighting with Naruto like he normally would he took off for the bathroom, clothes already being ripped from his body.
"Disgusting!" was the only thing that hissed from the seething man.
Naruto pouted from his perch on the counter, staring at the steam rolling out of the half open door of the bathroom. "Its not like I could help it!" He pulled a tissue from a nearby box and blew his nose. Sasuke had been in the shower for fifteen minutes already. Naruto huffed and crossed his arms over his own chest and let his dangling feet sway to and fro while he stared longingly at the foggy imagine of Sasuke in the mirror. "All I wanted was a little system boost!"
"You aren't getting near my cock for a year! AT LEAST!" The Uchiha roared from the bathroom.
After staring at the bathroom door for five minutes longer. Naruto got feed up with waiting. He rolled the cough drop, he had put in his mouth only a few minutes ago, under his tongue and blew his nose before making his way toward his stubborn boyfriend and his dick of magical cures.
"Naruto! Get the hell out of here; I'm not in the mood for your shit!" the Uchiha hissed from behind the steamed up shower glass. Naruto slipped out of his clothes quickly and smiled broadly as his ripped open the shower door while his boyfriend growled.
"And, Sasuke Uchiha, I am not in the mood for you to be out of the mood." Sasuke's brow faulted for a moment as he glared.
Undeterred, the blond began to enter the shower with the freshly cleansed other. Groggy-headed from his cold, Naruto failed to correctly remember the height of the step in and tumbled into the stall.
Their bodies clashed together with a loud thawack, and Sasuke lost his footing and smashed into the wall behind. Luckily enough for the Uchiha, Naruto's hand had already found hold of the wall behind not a moment before to keep himself from falling farther, and instead of his head crashing against the wall his head crashed against Naruto's hand, lessening the blow.
Naruto yelped and pulled his hand to his chest, holding it with his other as he danced in a small circle while he cried in pain. "Shit, shit, shit, shit that hurt."
"Well, maybe you wouldn't have hurt your god damned hand if you knew how to fucking listen!" Sasuke hissed from under the spray of water.
"I don't need to listen; I need to suck your dick. Damn it, stop trying to make this so damn difficult." The blond pressed his full weight against the slighter man and smirked. For all his talk, Naruto knew Sasuke wasn't that strong...he couldn't fight off an eight year old at full strength.
"If you touch me with those nasty snot covered lips I'll chop your dick off, impale it with a stick, and rape you with it." Black-colored eyes glared with venomous hate as Sasuke struggled against his oppressor
With only a few centimeters now held the distance between Naruto's said snot covered lips and Sasuke's perfectly germ-free lips, Naruto smirked. "Sounds like someone is getting frisky. I'll let you rape me all you want in a few days, but for now." His hand slid between their wet bodies and gripped Sasuke's limp member in a firm grasp.
The newly molested man gasped as his hips jerked away from the daring hand. "Naruto!" shock overwhelmed his voice as his eyes bulged and the rest of his body went rigid. The motion against his cock caused a stir in the positive sensations in his loins, unconsciously he bucked back into the soft grip and moaned softly.
"Let me go. Now." Intense anger swam behind Sasuke's eyes as he tried to wiggle his arms free to strike out at his boyfriend.
All that struggle caused more sensations from his fisted cock to flood through him; his eyes rolled to the back of his head for a moment. Naruto's name whispered from his lips more like a plea than the hateful hiss he had intended it to be.
Increasing the pressure of his grip Naruto stroked the slowly firming penis as he leaned forward, allowing his lips to attach themselves to the slender neck before him. His teeth dragged softly down earning a hearty moan. He nipped playfully along the alabaster skin and smirked as shivers raked through Sasuke's body and goosebumps decorated his flesh. "You want me now, don't you baby."
"Piss off, Naruto." the raven headed man groaned as he tried desperately to control his body.
"But that wouldn't be any fun, now would it?" he pressed closer while his teeth sunk in deeper; not too many people knew Sasuke had a little biting fetish. Sasuke threw his head back and moaned full-heartedly, member now fully erect and precum dripping from its head. Naruto laid kisses along the heated flush, his boyfriend's skin was now turning a beautiful pink with a full body blush.
The Uchiha was now becoming compliant enough for Naruto to release his arms, allowing him to move down to plant kisses, licks, and nips along Sasuke's chest and stomach. He trailed his fingers down Sasuke's slim, yet firmly muscled sides while his teeth slid over his man's hip bone.
His breath hitched as Naruto's lips came dangerously close to his pulsing cock, he gave a little encouragement with his hips while his mouth continued to try and make sounds of protest.
Sasuke's hips sagged for a second before snapping back up to force his cock into the wet, sloppy mouth now surrounding it. Letting out a hoarse groan, the raven tilted his head down to watch his boyfriend work his dick over.
Naruto's mouth felt hotter and slicker than he ever remembered, probably due to the virus wrecking havoc on the body, but at the moment Sasuke couldn't complain. He couldn't do much of anything except moan like a whore. "Oooh, fuck..." The older male let the vocalizations tumbled freely from his mouth while he watched that Rudolph nose bury in his pubes with a hard suck before pulling back up.
The blonde planted his calloused hands on Sasuke's thighs, steadying himself. He let out a husky victory chuckle around his mouthful, mentally smirking as he felt his boyfriend buck widely into his mouth. And Sasuke was trying to resist before, Sucker. As the head of his boyfriends cock traveled into his throat, he hummed part of the CSI theme song before pulling back, shamelessly enjoying the way the raven's thighs continually quaked.
"Whoa, baby, Breathe. I don't want your legs giving out before I finish." Naruto warned seriously before gulping the flesh back down. Looking up, He watched Sasuke nod slightly before trying to find something to hang on to. Sasuke had to admit, as he release a string of grunts, that Naruto was the best giver of head he'd ever come across and as an Uchiha, a lot of girls and guys had sucked his dick.
Feeling this familiar feeling of an approaching orgasm in his stomach, Sasuke wasn't able to stop his thighs from outright shaking before quickly darting a hand down to grip Naruto's golden hair at the scalp. "Don'tstopdon'tstopdon'tstoppleasepleaseplease." Sasuke chanted over and over again, as if Naruto would just stop and walk out before his world-rocking orgasm hit. In fact, it was quite the opposite.
Sinister hands snaked up to firmly grasp and pry apart pale ass cheeks while a single finger stroked around the pink, puckered flesh hidden between them. Sasuke threw his head back, banging it on the tile behind him, but not really caring. His knees buckled as his dick jerked and spurted in the blonde's mouth, giving Naruto exactly what he needed.
Naruto slurped down the fluid greedily, tongue popping out to collect the remaining bits from around the head. Soon Sasuke's cock went limp and Naruto leaned back and smiled up while keeping a firm grip of his still star-eyed lover. Long seconds passed as the Uchiha panted against the wall, knees bent and pressing against the blond's firm shoulders.
"You're an asshole." Sasuke finally managed to growl as his head lulled around with his face, trying to paint a look of annoyance.
A few days later.
Sasuke sat on the couch with three blankets wrapped around himself, one around his shoulders, one around his lower body, and a giant one to overlap the two others and cover whatever gaps there may have been. His eyes stared straight forward, glaring at the flickering TV screen as snot dripped from his nose. Naruto hummed cheerfully as he came from the kitchen, a mug of hot tea in one hand and a bottle of vitamins in the other.
"You'll never get better if you just sit around and sulk." The blond half sang as he plopped down next to the newly sick man.
"I wouldn't be sick you god damn asshole if you hadn't of forced your disgusting germ filled mouth on me!" stated Sasuke.
"You know, you could suck my dick...if you wanted to get better faster." Naruto smiled broadly as he wiggled his hips seductively.
"It was your nasty ass that got me sick in the first place!"
"Yes, well. Now my body as antibodies that could help you fight off the cold. It'd do you more good than your cum did for me." his fingers caressed the only open skin available as he spoke, Sasuke's cheeks burned at the contact.
The Uchiha paused, as if contemplating the new idea. Then his eyes narrowed and he threw the blankets off from around him, all save for one which he kept clutched around his shoulders, and stumbled across the room until he reached the phone.
Naruto spread his legs and relaxed back into the couch. "Who in the hell are you calling?" he asked offhandedly as he picked the remnants of Doritos out of his teeth.
"The doctor. If you're starting to make sense, then there is most certainly something wrong with me. I think the fever has gone to my head." Sasuke nodded, as if reassuring himself this must be the case as he put the now ringing phone to his ear.
"The only head you need is mine, in your mouth."
Sasuke glared over his shoulder while scheduling an appointment and flicking the blond off.
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I know it moved kinda fast from the "ewww gross!" to the "yeah give it to me!" but thats pwp for you
Hope ya enjoyed ;]