As of 4/2/2013, this has been reposted.
The author's note will only be up here for the first chapter. The rest should be at the bottom. I am revising this story so here is the first redo portion. Not much has changed, but i added a scene and did some revising so it should flow better and everything should fit. Thanks to AnetteRuby for helping me with the last two chapters. but i will be needing the opinion of all for a good ending. I have two to swing between but I'll post whichever one you guys say you want.
The story title and each chapter so represent what is happening in Ciel's life/ the story, Spring being the begining of both. There will be four chapters in total, one for each season.
Ciel's father, I have recently decided to turn him into Ash because before he did not have a name, is an abusive jerk. I try not to make it detailed, but child abuse is present. I do not condone it, but it was necessary for this story to progress as it does.
That's all I can think of for now so without further ado...
I do not own Kuroshitsuji. If I did, there would be much more inappropriate-ness between Ciel and Sebastian.
Father has come home, drunk as standard for Fridays and just about any week day that ends in y, and now pain is all the mind of fragile Ciel can process. It spreads throughout his limbs, his veins. He wishes for it to end soon and for his father to leave him alone after he's done. Each moment brings a little more agony throughout his lower body as the pain spreads slowly along his spine like small flames on an already charred log, and he does not want to be a punching bag tonight. He can feel the wounds from the past few nights making themselves known.
This is not the first time the beast has used his body for his own pleasure or releasing pent up anger. His mother provides little satisfaction for her husband anymore- she is already too broken, a soulless doll that goes through the motions of keeping house. Her eyes seem dead whenever Ciel tries to look into them. He doesn't think she has a clue what happens to her son, and he plans to keep it that way. The horrors only occur when she isn't home, and her husband knows how to keep a secret- Ciel knows survival comes with his silence.
One day though, Ciel plans to escape this hell. He refuses to let himself drown in his own blood. He dreams for a new life, one without pain and one where his mother can live in peace. He can free her from this daily torture. He just has to find a way, any way.
Next week he begins school again. He will be in fifth grade.
Unlike most other children his age, the ashen haired boy would do anything to be within the confines of the school. It's safe there, and no one punches his already broken bones. Sometimes the teachers stare as if they know what's going on, but he never asks for help. His mother would be the one to pay for his voice. There are a few kids whom Ciel wishes to go away, but they do not bother him too much. Their feeble slaps hardly compare to the blows he suffers at home.
His mind wanders to a quiet place where beasts don't demean their children in every base way imaginable. In this land, Ciel can be a child. His mother pushes him high on the swing, sings lullabies as he goes to bed. He misses the sound of her singing. She used to sing all the time, but then Father changed. Ciel never learned the reason for the change, but something inside the man snapped, destroying the man and leaving a beast in his place.
Once the old man spends himself at the ten-year-old's expense, he gives one last kick and then storms out the front door. The small boy curls into a ball, hugging the toy rabbit to his chest. Sometimes, when he is at his lowest, Mr. Bitters comes to life and whispers encouraging words into Ciel's ears. They make plans together. Mr. Bitters is his closest ally in a world of living nightmares.
XxX
A dark haired substitute smiled at Ciel today. Everyone was walking to the buses after school when a girl that teases Ciel accidentally knocked into him. She didn't pause in her run to the flock of other girls a few feet away, but the man noticed. His small grin said 'sorry' in her stead, but he never actually spoke to Ciel. It is a memory Ciel will cherish the rest of his life however because for a moment, even if it was so brief, someone seemed to care.
XxX
When Ciel sleeps now, he dreams of the kind teacher- the man almost seems to replace Mr. Bitters. His favorite imagining is where they are on at a big house, and the man pushes him on the swings like his mother used to. The movement never ceases just as his joy never dissipates. Until he wakes up that is. Then his typical day drudges on.
Once he shoves aside his sleep, Ciel wakes up his mother so she will cook breakfast and begin the daily chores. Their master demands perfection after all. Ciel ignores the voice that says if the beast wants perfect things he would not still be there and spreading his poison.
After he motivates his mother, carefully making sure she cannot see any signs of the abuse on his body, he takes a shower if it's safe, gets dressed, and then it's time for breakfast. He plasters on a small smile for his mother so she will not suspect a thing and pays pretty comments to his father as the man shovels down his meal. If you don't look too deeply, it almost seems like a real family.
The Ciel brushes his teeth, gathers his stuff for school, and walks two blocks to the bus stop. He hides the pain he feels with each step. It's a reaction he does every day because if people can't see, they won't know. If they don't know, then for a while, it may not be real.
At school, Ciel tries to catch glimpses of the substitute, but he never finds him. Sometimes he thinks someone might be him, but then realizes it's not. It's another endless cycle of hope and disappointment. The blue eyed boy knows disappointment. He's told he is one almost every night.
The other children send him funny looks throughout the day. Then at lunch, he sits by himself in a forgotten corner of the cafeteria. No one asks to join him, and the lunch ladies are too… everywhere for him to escape to the library.
Ciel loves the library. It's quiet there, and the librarian lets him stay as long as he likes. Every once in a while, when the pain is too bad but he can't stay home because the demon is still there, Ciel will sit in the fluffy chair over by the fireplace that's just for looks and read book after book. Pretty soon he will run out of books he hasn't read. But then, he thinks, he will just reread Lemony Snicket or Edgar Allen Poe. Mr. Poe seems to see the things that go wrong in the world, and he writes his stories and poems in such a way that Ciel can't help but go back to them.
When Ciel goes home, his mother is not there- she works nights at a small store - and Ciel is left alone with the beast. It is this time that is utilized to torture Ciel's body when the demon feels angry. Ciel has learned to let it happen. Fighting only makes it worse and leaves him more drained.
Sometimes Ciel goes to bed without eating dinner. Those nights are the ones where he takes two pills to dull the pain. He thinks Lau, the dealer he normally uses, probably doesn't mind.
Then Ciel meets the oddest man after getting lost in East End the other day. He is supposed to call him "Undertaker." He thinks this is weird but doesn't mind. Ciel visits his store a lot now. It's better than going home.
Normally Ciel sits in the back room listening to all the people coming in and out to buy from the macabre selection. It's a fun there, and he likes watching the little TV screen to see the odd things that go on. The Undertaker pointed out the camera it was hooked up the fourth time he came here. One time there was a goofball named Grell who was looking for a present for a certain Will. The man was absolutely absurd in the way he fluttered about the parlor, his long red hair following like a cape. It made him think of The Incredibles and how the short lady would complain that capes only ever caused trouble. He'd gladly take care of 'Grell's' mane.
Another day, a man with black hair walks in, and he changes Ciel's life forever. He introduces himself as Vincent Phantomhive, the head of an upstarting toy company. Ciel is in awe of the imposing figure before him.
With a gentle smile, Vincent asks Ciel about his mother and his father. The pre-teen gladly speaks of his mother, saying what she's like and where she works, but he lies about his father, saying that he is dead. In Ciel's mind, he hasn't been a father since Ciel's eighth birthday.
Vincent ruffles Ciel's hair and says, "Ciel, I could use your help with something. I can pay you for your assistance."
Ciel's eyebrows crinkle because he is worried about what his father might do but then decides that he's always gone to the Undertaker's anyways so this shouldn't be any different. Besides, money is always a good thing. It could be necessary for securing his mother's safety one day soon.
"Okay, just tell me what you'd like me to do." His voice conveyed nothing but innocence, something that shouldn't have been there all things considering.
"I need you to speak with a certain man named Vanel. His presence there is bad, and if you can trade this necklace for some of his goods, I can make him disappear. But don't use whatever he gives you in exchange. Bring it directly here to the Undertaker and wait for me, alright?"
Vanel. He's a dealer Ciel has to use sometimes when he either can't find or is mad at Lau. Getting rid of him could cause Ciel problems in the future, but it could cause more problems if this Vincent figures out he already knows Vanel. He picks what seems the lesser of two evils.
"Alright, when do I go?"
XxX
"You really are quite despicable, aren't you?" the Undertaker cackles after the young boy leaves for the afternoon. "Using that poor boy to get Vanel. It's ingenious really, but absolutely terrible of you. The Underground is no place for a ten-year-old," he warns, wagging a long, accusatory finger in Vincent's direction.
Vincent smirks. "Oh I think he'll be fine. He has a fire in his eyes that I've only ever seen matched by a few. Regardless, he is a means to an end. Vanel isn't careful enough to not deal to certain people, so Ciel provides the perfect chance to catch him in the act. "
"He'll need a good disguise." The grey haired man points out, seemingly enjoying a private joke.
"Yes, I suppose it would not be good to let his actual identity become known," Vincent muses. "It will diminish his future usefulness if everyone knows he works for the Scotland Yard."
"Oh that may be true, but he makes deals with Vanel now. Not often, mind you. Just when he can't get ahold of Lau."
"Lau the opium dealer? He uses drugs?"
"Strictly heavy pain killers," the Undertaker slightly corrects him. He is aware Ciel loathes drugs of any form, but the lad takes them to keep his mother completely oblivious. Can't keep the allusion if he can't make it to school after all.
"I wonder why," Vincent pondered, not actually talking to the odd man before him.
"His father's abusive. Has been since Ciel's eighth birthday. His mother won't let herself see what's right beneath her nose. Though since Ciel's been here keeping me company he hasn't needed the drugs. He hasn't replenished his stock in a couple of weeks," the Undertaker informs him, not deviating one second from his uncanny ability to know everything. Vincent is intrigued, part of his brain noting that this new development makes Ciel even more perfect for the part. This game is quickly becoming more interesting. He hopes Ciel doesn't disappoint, now or in the future.
XxX
Ciel is nervous for tonight. He goes over the plan again, double checking that he remembers it all. Vincent is counting on him to do this right.
The wig sets heavily on his head, and a mic equipped eye patch covers his right eye. The shabby clothes feel foreign on his body. Ciel's family is wealthy, so his clothes are normally good ones unlike the outfit Vincent puts him in for today.
He grasps the necklace tighter in his hand, his feet carrying him to White Chapel in an aimless fashion. He must not look like he knows exactly where to go since he is playing a first time customer. He needs to appear a little confused at his location, wary of his surroundings, but well versed in drugs. A little voice in his head points out that that is exactly what he is.
He recites his lines in his head.
Hello, I'm looking for Mr. Vanel.I heard he just updated his stock," he tells the man, who's watching the gate, in a voice slightly higher than his regular one. He finds the building a bit sooner than he anticipates.
The man laughs at him and nearly tells him to go away. After all, the Ferro family does not deal to those who cannot pay, and this small peasant-like boy can hardly afford the fix he wants. Then he decides it will be much funnier to see him coming out dejected and completely sober so he sends him through.
The entrance hall is nice enough, but seems cold and distant, not at all like a home. He supposes this is appropriate considering the situation. There is a woman waiting for him there. Her smile is cruel as she beckons him to follow.
Vanel is a strange looking man with shaggy blonde hair and too many earrings, Ciel thinks. He automatically distrusts anything the man gives him.
"What can I do for you, young man? Are you interested in the cocaine, the heroin, the opium?" he practically sneers. "Or would you like something else? Because I don't think you can pay for my goods."
"I have this," he says, thrusting the bugged necklace in the air. "The lady I stole it from said it was a black diamond." He forces a (fake) proud grin to spread across his mouth, playing the part of youthful delinquent to the tee while thinking it's amazing Vanel doesn't recognize him. He sees the greedy look take over the man's face and knows that he has him now. "Will it be enough for a few hits of cocaine?"
"Sure thing kid. Kennedy! Bring me a selection of top notch stuff for our guest. We want to make sure he's satisfied." Typical greedy bastard. Doing anything to make him money.
"Yes, sir!"
Soon an array of various drugs is laid out before him, and Ciel need only pick what he wants. He takes the chance to swipe some pain killers without worrying Vincent will find out. The patch doesn't have a camera after all. He just hopes Vanel doesn't comment on his selection, and he remains silent to Ciel's relief. The pre-teen also takes the appropriate amount of cocaine so Vincent will have his evidence.
"I enjoy doing business with you, young man. Make sure to come see me again the next time you need a hook-up," Vanel sucks up, dreaming of the next treasure already. "I'll do my best to find some Lady Blanc for you. It's a new opium product I've heard wonders about."
"Then I'll be back in a few weeks to check your stock," Ciel grins and then is escorted out the front door. He thinks Vincent will be proud of what he's done.
XxX
"He played the part well," Vincent smirks. He is in his office, listening to the progress unfold. Randall scowls beside him.
"Even I cannot believe you have sunk as low as this, Phantomhive. Using a child to collect your evidence. Surely a detective or just anyone else would have worked just as well, yet you bring in an innocent child."
"Oh he is far from innocent, Randall. Take a good look into his eyes if you ever meet him. Purity has not lingered there in many years."
"That doesn't make it any more right," the policeman growls.
Vincent refuses to debate the topic any further than pointing out that providing drugs to a minor is an egregious offense to the public. He made Randall's job easier.
Ciel will become a useful tool in the future. He knows this already from his performance today.
He ignores the reminder that Lizzie, his sister's daughter, is roughly the same age, and that he would never put her in the same position he did Ciel. The boy was stronger however, he reasoned, both physically and mentally. His body and mind were trained through years of abuse to deal with the suffering he may encounter in the field.
No, Ciel can take care of himself. He'll be fine.
XxX
Ciel realizes it's been six years since the first time he met Vincent Phantomhive, and in that time, he has helped lock away numerous crooks and made several important Underground acquaintances, including Vincent's niece Elizabeth Middleford. All things considering, he can no longer imagine his life without the elder man there to guide him. He is now the man to whom Ciel seeks advice and looks to as a father despite the danger he is occasionally thrown in for the queen. He loves his life as it is however.
Even Ciel's 'father' is beating him fewer times each week, and his mother seems to be ever so slightly more alive each day. He hopes he can move out in a few years once he has graduated and can support his mother. He just doesn't know how to escape the demon's influence once and for all. He still needs to bring it up with Vincent.
He is helping to solve another case this weekend. This one requires a partner, so he is meeting the other man tomorrow afternoon. Sitting in his room, Ciel goes over the file again. It's a simple assignment really. He just has to provide cover by acting as a stripper at a nearby club while his partner hacks into the back office.
Vincent has gone over the nitty-gritty details with him a hundred times. He seems nervous about this case for a reason Ciel cannot quite understand. Maybe it's because this is Ciel's first assignment with this 'Sebastian.' Apparently he is a new acquaintance of Vincent's via the Undertaker and isn't completely trusted just yet. Ciel does not care so long as he doesn't blow their cover and get them killed or something equally stupid.
With a sigh, Ciel turns out his bedside lamp and pulls up the covers. Tomorrow is going to begin something great. He can feel it.
XxX
Sebastian is the last thing Ciel expects when he walks into the café. The elder man is tall, lean, and incredibly good looking. His intense red eyes pierce into Ciel's as if he is looking for something there, and Ciel can't remember the last time he saw someone better than the raven standing before him. When he speaks, his words are like the darkest chocolate, deep, smooth, and intoxicating.
"Hello, Ciel. It's nice to meet you in person," he speaks. "I look forward to working with you."
"The pleasure is mine," Ciel responds. "How about I buy you a drink while we are here? I find that business is more fun with something sweet in your stomach."
"In that case, I'll buy you a treat. What would you like? I hear their cookies are to die for."
He smiles, and in that grin Ciel feels tugging from the strings of remembrance pulling at his mind. It is odd how the younger man thinks he should know him.
XxX
Three weeks later, Vincent is pulling at his hair trying to determine the plausible reasons for why this latest prototype is not going over well with the children. Something about it is just not settling with them, and that in turn is greatly annoying him.
Ciel walks into the frustrated man's office and smirks at the sight before him.
"What seems to be the problem, boss?"
"The kids hate this, and it was supposed to be a huge success," Vincent grumbles in frustration, running his fingers over his face.
"You think every product is going to be huge. Let me have a look at it. I'm a lot closer to my childhood than you," he remarks cheekily.
"Are you calling me old, Ciel?"
"Not quite, though I did hear that Adam and Eve ignored your council when they ate the forbidden fruit," he smirks.
"Well you could at least give Satan his copy of 1000 Ways to Piss off God back."
"But where's the fun in that?" he grins ear-to-ear before tossing the toy around in his hands. It is a small plush rabbit with what is basically a walkie-talkie inside it. What Ciel immediately notices is that the communication device is too large and bulky and thinks an idiot can solve that dilemma.
"The radio part is too big inside. Make it more like the devices you're always sticking to me. Children will go for actual radios before this if they feel the same in their hands. If it's a stuffed toy, this needs to be soft, and no parent wants their kid bonking his head on this bad boy at night. You'll get sued for sure."
It truly is a simple solution, and Vincent feels like an idiot for not coming to it sooner. Not that he is ever going to admit it. But Ciel's quick thinking makes him begin to think again. He needs a successor sooner or later, and Ciel is more than capable based on what he has shown just now as well as past experience. The young man is earning a major in business, knows his toys, and can easily manipulate the Underworld with the snap of his fingers. He's practically a younger version of himself already.
He promises himself he'll think more thoroughly on the matter later. For now, he only wants to talk to the guys in charge of creating new toys.
"I think Sebastian can be trusted," Ciel says randomly, tinkering with a click action pen from the top of Vincent's desk.
"What's that?" He lifts his concentration from the folder he just opened to stare at the young man.
"Sebastian, the guy I worked with on the last case, he's safe. I did some extra research on him, and he knows his stuff. It's a good idea to add him to your list of contacts."
"I'll think about it," Vincent relents while wondering if it's a good idea to let Ciel get too close to the man. He doubts Ciel knows what the Undertaker told him before that mission for a series of murdered prostitutes last month was even planned.
Little did he know it was indeed only the beginning of something he could never hope to control.
Because once again, after years of forgetting, when Ciel dreams, it's of intense red eyes and velvet words.
Please let me know what you think. If you read it before it was revised, please tell me if you noticed/ like the changes. If this is your first time seeing it, please review with your opinion.
Hopefully the characters weren't too ooc for anyone. I tried to keep them in character, but the Undertaker's sentances are debatable I think, so tell me if he's ooc when he talks or something.
REVIEW PLZ!