A/N: Written for Pinky Green's Surprise challenge at HPFC. The prompts I used were broomstick, locked door, lies, sunset, heartbeat, and, of course, surprise. L/J oneshot; slightly edited as of 6/8/09.
"Hey, Lily?" James catches up to me as we leave Potions. "I was wondering . . . d'you want to meet me down to the lake in a while?"
I look at him, surprised; he hasn't asked me out since I finally sat him down and talked to him, two years ago. And this sounds suspiciously like a date to me. But compared to fifth year, things are so different. A small tremor runs through my body as I remember the day towards the end of that year—the day of exams, the day of the term's end. But mostly, the day I lost my best friend.
A memory rises to the front of my mind, not of the moment where I lost Severus, but the moment concerning the boy who's standing hopefully in front of me right now.
That day I'd run away from the lake, away from Sev, Sev who'd just called me a Mudblood. A couple minutes later, I was perched on a rock near the entrance to the castle, hidden behind a tree, crying my eyes out. Then, I heard someone come up behind me.
"Bug off," I'd choked out, not looking up, trying to scrub my face clean on my jumper. A moment later, someone's arms were around me, and I was sobbing into someone's chest. They were whispering things into my ear, things like "He doesn't deserve you" and "You're better off without him." Any other time, that would have made me mad, but I didn't care then. At some point, I looked up, confirmed what I'd suspected all along – that I was allowing James Potter to comfort me.
"You were right about him. I hope you're happy. He always said that me being a Muggle didn't matter. He lied to me, James." I took a deep, steadying breath and allowed James to rub my back.
"Lily. You're better off without him. He's a – " James broke off there, probably remembering all the times I'd yelled at him for talking about Sev. "He's not someone who could understand you."
"No. You're wrong. He did understand me. Better than anyone."
James shook his head, but didn't continue in that line. Instead, he'd said quietly, "I understand you, Lily. Better than he ever did."
In that moment, I became aware of how close we were – I could practically hear his heartbeat, thumping out of his chest, on the offbeat of mine. I opened my mouth, about to protest, but he cut me off. "Give me a chance here. I've watched you for five years, since we were eleven. I know you like your eggs sunny side up, but only if there's toast too. I know that the subject you're best at is Charms, even though the one everyone thinks you're a genius at is Potions, because of the Slug Club. I know you can't stand it when I beat you in Transfiguration, even though you're not half bad at it yourself. I know that once, in third year, you secretly decided you wanted to try out for the Quidditch team, because some bloke you fancied was going to be captain, and so you spent about three nights riding around the pitch on a broom someone had conveniently left there for you, before you fell off the broom, lost one of the Quaffles, and gave up. I know –"
I cut him off there. "Wait, how'd you know about when I wanted to be on the Quidditch team?"
He chuckled. "Well, someone had to leave their broomstick out for you to use. I must say, I rather enjoyed watching you attempting to fly around the pitch, chasing after the Quaffles with the Beater bats – which, I very prudently resisted informing you were supposed to be used on the Bludgers.
That broke the mood some; I gave him a watery smile and sniffled a couple times. "I didn't think anyone knew about that," I said, staring out across the grounds. "I never thought that someone had to leave their Cleansweep out so I could use it, or that someone must have unlocked the shed so I could get to the balls and bat."
"I've done a lot for you, Lily." James had reached out towards me then, tentatively, but he stopped as I tensed and turned away.
"Look, James. I don't want to talk about this right now."
He nodded and turned away for a minute, and his next question was so soft I barely heard it. "Lily, what can I do? What can I do to make you love me?" His voice cracked on the first part of 'love', and even in profile, I could see his grimace.
Just as quietly, I replied. "If you really loved me, you'd leave me alone." I chanced a glance over at his face then. It immediately transformed, from the look of slight hopefulness he always got when he was around me, to completely frozen, empty of any emotion, except in his eyes. I had never seen them look so . . . fathomless. Or so bleak.
He nodded, swallowing hard. "Well, see you around then, Evans. I hope things get better with you and Sniv – Severus."
I think I nodded then too, and just sat there, tears rolling down my face, long after he left and everyone else had gone up to the castle.
I'm brought back to the present by James's eyes, boring into mine. "Still there, Lily?" he asks.
I nod. Since we've become heads together, we're on good terms again. Friendly and nothing more – not all that close friends either – but still, it's nice not having to worry about what embarrassing method he's going to use to ask me out next.
"So . . . ?"
I'd totally forgotten about his earlier question. Do I want to meet him at the lake? I ask myself that, not sure yet of the answer. "Why? For head business, or . . . ?" As he did a moment ago, I leave my question open.
James shrugs. "Head business. Go over who we should nominate for prefects next year, what to do about Slytherins hexing Gryffindors in the hallways, stuff like that."
"Sure." I smile up at him. "See you in an hour or so?"
"Sounds good." He runs off down the hallway, yelling something to his friends; I watch, shaking my head and laughing a little before continuing down the hallway.
Fifty five minutes later, I make my way across the entrance hall and outside. For a moment I look around, trying to find James.
"Lily!" he shouts from partway around the lake, waving his arms above his head. "Over here!"
Wrapping my arms around myself – the sun is beginning to set, and it's getting cooler – I walk over to where he's waiting. In front of me is a patterned blanket, spread with an elaborate feast, and a small vase of flowers. Daises. "I figured you'd be tired of lilies by now," he says, grinning sheepishly as I stare at him in shock.
"James, you said we were going over Head business!"
He shrugs. "Surprise?"
The look on his face is so plantitive I can't help but laugh, and, looking a tad put upon, he laughs too. "So it's alright, then?"
I take a deep breath in, tightening my lips. "Sure. I guess. I mean, it's just a picnic, right? Not anything permanent."
James watches me as I babble on, an amused gleam dancing across his eye. "Shall we sit down then?" Grandly, he gestures at the blanket.
"Okay." Gingerly, I set myself down on the edge, legs stretched out on the grass. He plops down unashamedly in the middle.
"Sandwich?" he asks me, removing the foil from a large, squashy looking packet.
"Erm . . . what kind is it?" I stare at it apprehensively, imagining James and his friends trying their best to make something creative and delicious. The creative part they'd do fine with, but I'm pretty sure none of them are going to win prizes for their cooking.
"It's just chicken. Sorry, I couldn't give the house elves much notice, or I'd have gotten something fancier."
With relief, I accept the offered sandwich. "That's fine, then" I say, taking a slow bite, unsure of what we're doing. Is it a friends but almost more thing? Or are we on a pre relationship date? I honestly have no clue – James is a completely different category from other boys I've dated.
He whips a large bottle of juice from the basket and conjures up two goblets, directing the drink into them with his wand. "Sorry it isn't more romantic," James says, pulling an apologetic face. That, I guess, answers my wonderings.
"No, it's great. Really." Earnestly, I look into his eyes, wanting him to see how much I appreciate this. For a while, I've been thinking about giving us a sort of trial run, and this is as good a time as any. "Thanks," I murmur, before dropping my gaze, embarrassed by the intensity in his eyes.
Behind me, in the direction he's facing, the sun is setting. I rotate myself so I can see it, conveniently positioning myself further onto the blanket, closer to him. Our arms are brushing the slightest bit now, and my skin is tingling from how close he is.
"You know," James begins, looking down at me. "My mother always used to say that each sunset marked the beginning of a new era. And each sunrise is when things change, for better or worse."
"Isn't that a little backwards?"
"Well, my mum's always been a little daft." He grins at me. "But I think that has some truth to it. I mean –" For a moment he pauses. Then, taking a deep breath, he plows ahead. "I mean, you're here now. Sitting right beside me. The old Lily would have dumped the drink into my lap by now, or something like that, and I keep thinking to myself, why'd she change? Well, I can think of a few reasons."
My breath comes faster now, and my stomach's twisted into a thousand knots. I almost want him to call me out on the fact that I love him – might love him, anyway. But that would complicate things, and not necessarily for the better.
"Two years ago, you told me if I really loved you, I'd stop asking you out," he continues. His jaw is set, and he's gazing straight ahead; the only sign I can see of how nervous he is the way his right hand jiggles up and down. "Well, lately, I've been thinking that you might not feel the same way about me that you did then, and I thought I might find out – just so I know for sure, y'know?" Tone offhand, he glances over at me, hoping for some kind of response.
"Um." I swallow, mouth suddenly dry. "Um, I'll admit to having thought a lot about you over the past few weeks. And I'm starting to think that maybe – just maybe – giving you – us – a chance would be okay."
His face lights up as he turns to me. "You mean it? You're not just winding me up, or pranking me?"
Smiling, I shake my head. "Not this time, James. I mean it. I'd like to give us a go."
For a moment, time seems to stop as we look at each other, each wondering how we got here. I'm reminded of a conversation Sev and I had years ago, around our second year. I don't remember how it began, but I know it ended with me vehemently declaring that if I had to get within six feet of James, I'd puke. Well, I'm definitely within six feet of him now, and puking is the farthest thing from my mind.
Goosebumps rise on my arms; mostly, I think, from how close I'm sitting to James. When I shiver a little, he turns to me. "Cold?" he asks tenderly, touching my hand.
Even though I'm not, I nod yes, because I know what'll come now. For a moment he looks undecided, but then he wraps an arm around me. At first he leaves it loose on my shoulders, obviously expecting me to tell him it was a joke, and why would I ever want to be with him? But when I scoot a bit closer to him, he tightens his arm, drawing me close.
Like that day by the lake two years ago, I'm aware of his heartbeat, but this time, his and mine are perfectly in sync. He leans towards me and I tilt my face to his, closing my eyes, not needing to fumble around for his lips – I just know.
After a few seconds, we pull away, and the only thing I can focus on, the only thing I care about, is him.
A/N: I'm rather fond of the second half, but not sure about the first half, so any feedback/concrit is welcomed. Review, please!
Disclaimer: Lily, James, and Sev are, unfortunately, not mine. All credit goes to JKR and her wonderful world! The plot, however, is (as much as any fanfiction can be) =D