Disclaimer: Guntz and related characters are not my property. I make no profit out of this piece of work, nor do I get too much enjoyment out of writing boring disclaimers. However, Breezegale Highschool is under construction, and therefore no fics related to the site can be written. Je suis desolee...

Author's Note: Sarcastic, dark-humour Guntz from 'Nightmare' returns again. This is my piece for Valentine's Day, although it's not a chocolate fic. It's a pairing I hardly write. And it's not slash (OMGWTFBBQ!) either. I recall mentioning the pairing many times, but I don't think I've written more than a couple of this pairing.

Enjoy!


It was a bright sunny day.

A young man of about sixteen years of age lay on the ground, under a tree, away from the sunlight. He was fast asleep, his jacket unbuttoned and partly exposing his chest; he shifted in his slumber, the brown goggles on his head slipping down slightly. His long hair was loose and splayed out on the ground. He slept peacefully, quietly and completely undisturbed by the world; even his breathing was not to be heard, the slight heaving of his chest giving the only impression that he was breathing.

A breeze lightly ruffled his hair, but he didn't notice.

In his slumber he didn't realize another figure coming up the hill, looking into his face and carefully edging around him so that he would not awake. The figure bent down, staring calmly into the youth's face, and stayed motionless for a long while.

The youth shifted positions, soon falling back into his soundless sleep.

The figure began to move again, staring down at the young, handsome face with curiosity. The youth's eyelashes were long, almost like a female's, his lips curved, his skin a beautiful golden shade without a hint of blemish. With a soft chuckle, the figure had closed its eyes and had bent down, head close to the youth, before a metallic object was suddenly pushed onto their lips. The youth had awoken, looking straight at the figure, his unusually bright blue eyes unwavering from their face. In one hand he held a red pistol which was being pushed to the figure's lips; his thumb hovered over the safety, finger curling delicately over the trigger.

"That wasn't necessary," he purred, a small sadistic glint coming into his face. "you just had to do that, didn't you, Leo?"

"I only wanted to say good afternoon," 'Leo' replied with faked annoyance as the gun was taken away. "but thanks to you and your bloody paranoia, Guntz, your afternoon kiss goes to the pistol."

"Oh, poor lovestruck Leorina," Guntz chuckled, slight mockery in his words, and withdrew his pistol into his belt. "try being me for one day, my dear, and you might understand why I pulled the gun on you. Shinigami Guntz has a lot of enemies, doll, and they're only too glad to send me down to Lunatean Hell given the chance. I have to be on my guard."

"Like anyone is really going to sneak up on you today."

"You did. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!"

Leorina huffed, but settled down next to the hunter, mindlessly stroking his chest fur and feeling the soft, silky warmth. The hunter chuckled and lay back comfortably on the grassy field, eyes sliding shut lazily. Leorina's fingers danced across his chest fur, onto his exposed chest, and he purred pleasantly, nudging up close to the girl and placing his head on her thigh. She giggled at this rare act of affection, but looked at him seriously again after a few seconds.

"Why the unbuttoned jacket? Feeling narcisstic?"

"It's warm here, why not," came the dozy reply. "and it's not like I'll get done for indecent exposure here, Leorina."

"That's true. Crimes against the Lunatean race, more like," Leorina replied sassily, provoking a deep laugh from the hunter.

"Ah, Shinigami Guntz loves to kill, he does..." he said softly, brushing a lock of his hair out of his eyes. "and my jobs do require me to shed some blood. It's not the best thing you want in a job, I'll say that much; but for an insane maniac like I am, I daresay the taste of blood does get enjoyable."

"Ugh," Leorina pulled a face. "turning into Zweegle, are you? He's rubbing off on you big time."

"Zweegle doesn't get paid to bite people. He doesn't kill them either," came the lazy reply. "there's - ah- a big difference there, doll."

"You make me sick, Shinigami Guntz," her fingers traced around his neck, slowing at the place where the jugular vein was. "I see no reason to leave you here in peace, Guntz. I can't see why I haven't killed you already. You've been screwing with Lunatea for too long. By killing you I'll be doing a big favour to the world - so why haven't I killed you yet, I wonder? Can you think of a reason?"

"Because you love me and I'm the most wonderful thing in the whole world," Guntz replied sarcastically, grinning up at her, showing his sharp teeth. "bless."

The finger pressed down harder on his skin. "Do I have to teach you a lesson?"

"Go ahead, my doll. Be my guest," the hunter replied. "what will you use on me, hmm? Knives? Elements? Dreamstone shards? Those would be very messy..." he let out a short laugh. "my, my... you're going to ruin your reputation if word gets out that you didn't get yourself a clean kill..."

"How about I ruin your face?" Leorina asked, sounding annoyed. She traced her fingers around his neck again, coming to a stop on his adam's apple and pressing down on it. Guntz didn't flinch at the feeling, although his eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I'm so scared," he put on a falsetto voice, mocking her words and barely managing to keep back a smile. "Leorina the Sky Pirate, wanting to rid me of all chances of ever getting myself in a relationship. Methinks it's because she's the only one worthy of me," he was stroking his pistols as he said that, his finger subconsciously tightening around the trigger. Leorina said nothing for a while, although her eyes had drifted over to the hunter's arm; her own hand froze for a moment.

It happened in an instant.

Leorina rolled away from Guntz just as the hunter swiftly took out the pistol from its holster and took aim. He fired at her, unfazed; she dodged skillfully, launching her own offensive in the form of a sharp knife. The blade narrowly missed his arm and stuck onto the ground. Smirking, Guntz took out yet another pistol from his belt, aiming a double shot and firing in the direction that he presumed Leorina to be. He was mostly right, for she only narrowly managed to escape the shots; but after she ran out of the bushes, she continued to sprint all the way around the field, and in a matter of seconds the hunter had lost all sign of her.

"Come out," he whispered gently, circling the area, his voice soft and almost angelic. "come out, young Leorina... come out and play with your dear brother, why don't you?"

"I intend to," came the equally soft reply, and before the hunter could move, Leorina jumped down from the tree above him and knocked him to the ground, making him lose grip of the pistol in his right hand. With a surprised growl he struggled; he managed to turn himself back onto his front, but that was all he could do. He was immobile, as he felt Leorina's weight pushing down on his body. Growling again, he took his last chance and aimed his pistol at her neck just as she aimed three knives at his throat.

For a long time they stayed like such, motionless. They stared into the other's eyes, blue meeting blue.

Finally, Leorina turned her eyes away from the hunter, down to the barrel of the gun.

"Methinks the hunter is out of ammunition," she managed to say, a small grin coming onto her face. "looks like I've won."

Guntz laughed and dropped his pistol, the safety hitting the ground with a useless click. "Well done. I yield," he fell back onto the ground, whereas the girl withdrew her knives and placed them back in her belt. She giggled, her expression clearing as she pinned the hunter down playfully.

"I don't actually intend to let you go anytime soon, Guntz."

"And what would you want to do with me?" Guntz asked, a soft grin on his face, looking at her as her fingers lightly caressed his cheek and hair.

"I'll think of something." She answered, smiling. "Perhaps I won't kill you. Not just yet. You're too much fun."

"I'm honoured that Your Ladyship thinks so." The hunter whispered, his gloved hand stroking her cheek and pulling her down for a kiss.


Hee hee. I'm actually pairing Guntz with someone other than Lolo or Klonoa. That was fun. It was straightforward, without endless chords of Requiem or cutting or screaming. Yayness.

I picture Guntz and Leorina as a very good pair, very witty and sarcastic with each other and often playfighting to the point of almost death. I can imagine it perfectly. Leorina has been a fighting princess-figure for me, ever since I first played Lunatea's Veil, and I can just imagine her choosing a fight as a date of sorts :D

Leorina: Now let's go for a walk around Breezegale, Guntz, or I might hurt you with my knife.

O.o