A/N: Hi guys, just wanted to know what you thought of this, it's all I've got written of this one at the moment, so I don't know when I'll be able to update, but d'ya think I oughta carry on anyway? Well, tell me what you think. And it will be a crossover, eventually.

Disclaimer: Don't own please don't sue.

Buffy walked out of the bronze in the middle of the final song, she couldn't take it anymore, couldn't be around them now. Not now they knew one of her secrets. They still didn't know the whole truth though, that she really couldn't handle. They didn't know about Him, and that was how she intended to keep it.As she walked into the alley, she began singing without even realising it. Quietly and slowly at first, and gaining volume and passion.

"I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone "

As she was singing she thought back to the time they'd had together, so short, but so sweet. She remembered him holding her in his arms and feeling safe, feeling peace. She could still feel a ghost of him, a whisper on the breeze. She shuddered and pulled her arms around herself, spinning to the music in her mind.

"these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me"

She felt bitterly his loss; she had thought they had eternity, until her friends ripped her from her happiness. She remembered her death and it's after effects very clearly. When she had met him she'd been horrifically confused, thought she was meant to end up in some untold hell dimension, yet she had awoken to find herself bathed in warmth, joy and peace, then he'd stepped into view. They hadn't left each others company since that moment, both drawing something from the other. He took comfort in her arms and found a deep lasting love; he eased his sorrow for those he left behind. And her? She found all the things in him she thought she'd never find. Protection, Unconditional Love, Friendship, and Forgiveness, Everything she'd ever wanted was personified in him. Now they'd been so cruelly ripped apart, by her own friends no less, and life without him was torture for her. After knowing a love so deep and pure, being where she was, it was all too much, she was loosing her grip.

"these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me"

She stumbled as her legs threatened to give way, emotions that she'd held in for so long, pushing at her boundaries, threatening to overspill. She struggled to regain some modicum of control, and put a hand out to steady herself. Her fingers grazed the brickwork yet she didn't notice, didn't feel it.

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"

She couldn't, wouldn't believe he wasn't here, kept expecting to turn around and find him standing there. Ready to fold her into his arms, reassure her he'd never leave. But he never was.

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me "

Buffy looked at the ground as she finished singing, she let a few tears fall from her eyes and reach the ground before taking a deep breath to compose herself and walking off, towards home. She didn't notice her friends watching her, having come out of the club a couple of minutes earlier, and hearing all she'd just sung.

"Oh my God"

"What was that all about?"

"She – She…"

Each of them was dumbstruck at what they'd just witnessed. Still reeling from the shock of finding out that Buffy was in heaven, now it seemed there was something else troubling her as well, something much deeper. They couldn't believe they'd just seen her almost lose control.

"So, what?" Dawn stepped forward, in the direction Buffy had just taken. "What do we do now?"

"I – I have no idea Dawnie" Giles said quietly, stepping up behind the young girl and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I have absolutely no idea." Dawn turned around and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"That song…" She looked at him then turned her gaze to the rest, "What's going on, what did that mean?" she asked them all. Receiving nothing but blank looks from them all she turned back to face the direction her sister had just disappeared in.

"We have to find out what's going on, what it meant, we have to help her." She said purposefully.

"We owe her" Willow said quietly. Xander, Anya, Tara, Giles and Dawn nodded silently and the group set off home, making a silent vow to do everything they could for their friend, and to find out what she was holding back now.