A/N: Here's the latest in my string of Remus Smutshots! As you can probably tell, this is Remus and Andromeda, and the last was Amelia Bones, if you want to go check that out. This is just a way to blow off steam while I take homework breaks and plan for my other stories. Cheers!

-C

"James, is it okay if I invite my cousin to the party this year?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Your cousin?" James cried. "Sirius, have you gone mad?"

"Not one of those cousins," Sirius said with a snort. "No, Andromeda, the one who's dating the Muggleborn. You'd like her; she's my favorite living relative."

James frowned.

"I don't know, Pads, we don't need an adult cramping our style."

"Trust me, James," Sirius said with a bark of laughter, "Andy's a party animal."

Remus sighed, sinking deeper into his book. He tried not to get into the party preparations, and the study of hippogriff colonization was just getting into interesting concepts, beyond the basic theory of the history of cross-breed colonization in Europe, which was actually rather dry. Still, it was better than the anthology of goblin trade practices he'd read the month before.

But he could never stay lost in his world of books long with the other Marauders around. There were party preparations to be made, things to buy, stations to set up, and people to invite. Remus found it tiresome, but it was nice to serve the drinks, and maybe wander the fringes of the dancers for a while. Remus didn't dance, mostly because he would never dare ask anyone to.

Dancing was something girls wanted to do with a boy like Sirius or James, someone popular and charming and good-looking and… well, human.

Not that any of them knew Remus was a werewolf, but it wouldn't have been fair to possibly lead on any girl that would be interested in him when he knew it would end in fury that he had kept such a secret, and fear.

So when the party began, Remus serving drinks wasn't exactly a surprise to anyone present. Remus always served the drinks. He was the responsible one. He was the prudish one. He wasn't cool and fun like Sirius and James.

Remus knew it was what they were all thinking, and he honestly didn't mind too much. It meant nobody bothered him, even the really drunk girls.

That was part of the reason he was so surprised when a girl who was quite obviously Sirius's cousin Andromeda sat down across the makeshift bar from him, completely sober, a signature Black family smirk on her face.

"So this is what you lot do, is it? Put the cutest boy at the bar to get all the ladies drunk for my no-good cousin?"

Was she talking about him? Was that who she meant by 'cutest boy'? Surely not. She was talking about –

But James wasn't there. He must have left when Remus wasn't looking. Remus blinked stupidly at her.

"Erm," he managed to choke out, "can I get you something to drink?"

"Firewhiskey, please," she said, watching him openly as he went about getting a new bottle of firewhiskey (as Sirius had finished the last one), and getting a glass, and pouring the firewhiskey in the glass, and handing it to her. "So you're one of Sirius's friends," she said, tilting the glass and examining the fluid in it before taking a long drink. "You seem too good for him."

"I don't know what you mean," Remus muttered, well aware that he was blushing.

"You're clearly smart," she pointed out. "You're attractive. You've got manners… I bet Aunt Walburga would have liked you as a son."

"Somehow I doubt that," Remus sighed, thinking of his lycanthropy, his half-blood status, and his Gryffindor affiliation.

"Probably true," Andromeda mused. "I don't think she's capable of loving anyone… except for Bella. Sometimes I don't even think she loves Regulus or Cissy, but I think she's at least pleased that they've followed the family line. Sirius and me, she couldn't give a damn about anymore."

"What did you do?" he asked, pouring a drink for a blonde from Ravenclaw who was eyeing Sirius.

"I dated a Hufflepuff," she said with a snort, "and not just any Hufflepuff, but a Muggleborn."

Remus nodded, understanding. He knew enough about Sirius's family to know that such was a serious offense. He scanned her quickly for bruises. There were a few around her wrists that had nearly faded. He also spotted a small scar that was nearly hidden by her left eyebrow. Nothing to prove that her parents had physically harmed her, but Remus knew that it was probably a good bet that the Blacks had given her those marks as a punishment for her "rebellious behavior".

It also struck him how much she looked not only like Sirius, but like Sirius's crazier cousin, Bellatrix. The hair was lighter and her face was softer and her eyes were kinder, but the general look about her was nearly exactly the same. And yet, at the same time, Remus couldn't help but notice that she was absolutely beautiful. She had the high Black cheekbones and aristocratic air, but she had that gentle, friendly, playful side that Sirius had, the one that was somehow missing in his brother and other cousins, the one Sirius claimed came from their late uncle Alphard.

Well, it certainly hadn't come from Sirius's mother.

Apparently Andromeda, like Sirius, held her alcohol well. Yet, despite Sirius's claims that she was 'a party animal', she didn't leave the bar, and simply chatted with Remus about everything from books to Charms theory to stories about the Marauders, which she found incredibly entertaining. He was quite chuffed that someone was paying attention to him for once, despite the fact that he knew that she was much older, and had a boyfriend who by all counts was a wonderful person. It just felt good to pretend he was as cool and interesting as James or Sirius for just a short while, and Andromeda made him feel that way.

After several hours of talking, Andromeda said, "Do you ever get a break, or are they going to make you work all night long?"

Just as she finished her question, Sirius stumbled over.

"Relax, Andy. I'm taking over so the man can stretch his legs." Sirius winked. "Moony, there's a blonde over there…. She's…. Oh, man, she's amazing. Said she knows you…. Um, Tina something?"

"Rina Carter?" Remus said with a smirk. "She's a Ravenclaw Prefect and way out of your league, Padfoot."

"I resent that," Sirius sniffed. "I'll bed her by the end of the night."

"That doesn't mean she's not out of your league, cousin," Andromeda teased. "I'd trust his assessment of your worth over your own."

"Andy," Sirius whined, "you wound me! Why do you say such mean and hurtful things?"

Andromeda laughed, and Remus couldn't help but notice the musical quality of her laugh.

"Only for you, dear cousin," she said playfully. "Merlin knows you think you're a god of some kind. 'If you prick us, do we not bleed?'"

Remus's ears perked up. She'd quoted Shakespeare. Andromeda Black, Sirius Black's favorite cousin, had just quoted Shakespeare. So there were intellectually inclined people in that family somewhere. He couldn't even get Sirius to open a book that wasn't full of jokes.

"Whatever that means," Sirius laughed. "Go be wild, Andy. I don't want you at my bar; you'll scare away all my admirers. You look too much like Bella."

Remus pondered the fact that Sirius called Bellatrix by her nickname, but before he could really mentally dig into the issue, Andromeda had grabbed his hand and said, "Fine, Sirius, we'll go have fun without you."

And she led him to the dance floor.

"What about you, Moony?" Andromeda said teasingly in his ear as they danced. "What's your self-estimation like?"

Remus blushed and muttered back that it wasn't great. He knew he wasn't anywhere near as great as Sirius or James, and even Peter was actually fully human. Andromeda pouted playfully and ground up against him in an enticing way that the wolf inside him very much appreciated.

"Well, that's no good," she sighed into his ear. "I think you're much more attractive than the self-proclaimed Adonis over there. But maybe I just like my men humble."

He was sure he was even redder, but she licked the shell of his ear and said, "What about you? How do you like your women? I'm guessing bold."

Before Remus had a chance to respond, she'd backed him out of the dance area, down the hall, and to the nearest empty room, which happened to be Mr. Potter's study. Remus was feeling incredibly nervous about their location, when suddenly she undid the tie of her dress and let the whole outfit fall to the floor in a pool at her feet. Whatever she wanted to say about Sirius, it was obvious that ridiculously good looks ran in the family.

She stepped away from her dress, kicking it to the side and Remus stammered helplessly, backing into Mr. Potter's desk as she made her way toward him.

"Aren't you seeing somebody?" he finally managed to say as she shoved him into a chair and straddled him with her naked body.

"Yes," she sighed, kissing Remus's neck, "and I don't want to get married with him being the only man I've ever been with, so shut up and fuck me."

Remus couldn't be sure exactly what happened after that, but somehow, he had ended up sleeping with Sirius's cousin, on Mr. Potter's desk, in his chair, on a bookshelf, on the floor… and by the end of the night they were so exhausted that the pair fell asleep tangled up in each other on the floor.

She was gone by the time Sirius found Remus the following morning, grinning, winking, and saying, "I said she was wild, didn't I?"

Too tired to reply, Remus just groaned and rolled over on the floor, falling back asleep.