I haven't had time to write until now and a weird thing happened to me the other day... This is not my best work but it's...well, see for yourselves.
Roxanne was so tired that she could barely hear Megamind's usual introduction:
"Miss Ritchi, we meet again."
Her only response was a groan. The villain cleared his throat.
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Just five more minutes…"
She felt a metal finger tap her shoulder. "Miss Ritchi, wake up!"
"Can't we do this some other time?" she grumbled. "It's the middle of the night."
She could imagine Megamind rolling his eyes. "This kidnapping is not for your convenience, Miss Ritchi! Now be quiet while I call your boyfriend and then take over Metro City!"
That caused Roxanne's eyes to pop open. "Did you just say Metro City?"
It was then that she saw that everything in the Evil Lair was white. She became even more surprised when the villain turned his chair to face her. He was still blue, but instead of his usual ensemble, he wore a black business suit.
"Of course," he replied. "That's what the city is called, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Roxanne said. "But you usually…"
"Are you alright, Miss Ritchi?" she heard Minion ask.
Roxanne's eyes grew big as she twisted her neck in the fish's direction. In the place of his gorilla robot suit was a giant bunny suit, complete with a pair of long pink ears. What in the world is going on here?
"What?" Minion said when he noticed the way she was staring at him.
"Um, what was in that spray can?"
"The usual stuff, why?"
She shook her head. "I must be working too hard. Now I'm seeing things."
"Sir, maybe we should take her home."
Megamind groaned. "Fine, whatever! Take her home!"
Okay, that's it, she thought. Something is totally wrong.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she demanded. "Are you trying to mess with my mind?"
He was about to answer when a loud crash came through the ceiling. Roxanne looked up and saw a giant robot version of Metro Man, its eyes glowing red, its enormous hand reaching out towards her.
"Roxanne?"
She awoke with a scream. Megamind's face was there, a big smile across it.
"Wow," he gasped. "That was the most I've ever heard you scream!"
The reporter glanced around. The Evil Lair was as dull and dreary as ever and Megamind was wearing his cape and spikes, though Minion wasn't to be seen.
"What happened?" she inquired.
"You dozed off while I was explaining my evil plan to you," Megamind replied, surprisingly not the least bit angry. "You know you talk in your sleep? It was certainly…interesting to watch. But am I really that boring?"
Roxanne took a few more moments to adjust her eyes to the light. "No, it's not that. I haven't been getting much sleep lately."
My God, why did I just admit that? Megamind's smile grew wider and he scooted his chair closer.
"So I'm not boring?"
"Please, you're an alien super villain who is always coming up with crackpot ideas to destroy a man who's clearly invincible. Boring is the last thing you are. Predictable, maybe, but not boring."
"Predictable? Predictable? What do you mean?"
"Well, it's the same routine every time. You kidnap me, release some invention on the city, call Metro Man and then he saves me and then he takes you to prison. It gets kind of old."
Megamind appeared deflated, but then a sly look developed.
"You call this predictable?"
Then he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers.
Her eyes fluttered open and the back of Megamind's chair came into view.
"Sir, she's awake!"
The chair spun around and an exasperated villain sat in it.
"Well, it's about time! I think you sprayed her too much, Minion."
"No, I gave her the regular dose. I'm sure of it."
"Then why did it take so long for her to wake up?"
Roxanne had said nothing during their argument and was glad that everything around her seemed normal. However, her face was filled with shock and confusion. Minion noticed this.
"Are you alright, Miss Ritchi?"
She blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, Megamind, don't you think we do all of this way too often? Doesn't it get old?"
Megamind pondered on this. After a while, he slouched in his chair. Tears were coming out of his eyes.
"You're right," he sobbed. "What's the point of all this? I never win anyway. I never impress you. I might as well end it all now."
He took out his gun and changed the setting. He slowly held it up to his head.
"MEGAMIND, DON'T!"
She sat up in bed, her chest moving rapidly.
"Roxanne," Megamind said, sitting up beside her. "What's wrong?"
She calmed down and laid her head on his shoulder. "Nothing, just a bad dream."
"What about?"
"It was all so strange. You were kidnapping me, just like in the old days. I asked if you thought the routine was old and then you had a nervous breakdown and put a gun to your head…"
"Hey, it's okay!" he said, giving her an assuring hug. "It was only a dream."
Roxanne nodded and put a hand on her stomach. "Maybe I'm just worried about how this baby is going to turn out."
"Everything's okay. I'm the hero and we're going to be a family now. Your imagination is just running away with you."
"Maybe you're right."
They were about to kiss when Roxanne's sister, Rachel, opened the door, an air horn in her hand.
"Alright, rise and shine!"
The ear-piercing sound filled the air.
Megamind's eyes shot open and he let out a shriek. He found himself alone in bed. Minion came rushing in.
"Sir, are you okay?"
"Yeah, Minion," he grumbled, rubbing his giant blue head. "It was just a dream."
"What was it about?"
"Oh, it's nothing. Though Minion, I think that nosy reporter, Roxanne Ritchi, has gotten into my head! I think we kidnap her too often."
The fish shrugged. "Maybe she's made an impression on you."
"You think so, Minion?"
"Well, you two seem to…"
He stopped when he heard a roaring under the bed. Megamind leaned over the side. Suddenly, an enormous shark appeared and snapped its jaws at him. Minion covered his eyes, not wanting to see what would happen.
Minion screamed as he turned right-side-up in his fishbowl. His boss was on a ladder, pinning stuff to his idea wall. He scowled at the fish.
"Minion, did you fall asleep while I was explaining my brilliant plan to destroy Metro Man?"
"I'm sorry, sir. I just had a crazy nightmare. You were talking about kidnapping Roxanne Ritchi and then this shark appeared from under the bed…"
Megamind blinked. "Who's Roxanne Ritchi?"
"I have no idea. Some girl you were kidnapping."
"Hmm, that's not a bad idea! We could use a citizen as bait to lure Metro Man to his doom!"
"Sir, I've been wondering something."
"What's that, Minion?"
"That dream seemed so real. In fact, how much this is actually real? How do we know we're not just figments of someone else's imagination?"
"Minion, do me a favor. Stop thinking, it makes my head hurt."
The pair turned as a rumbling sound came from a distance. A tall, foamy wave emerged from around a corner and came hurdling towards them. The two screamed.
I opened my eyes and yanked off my mask. I did a double take on my surroundings. My ocean comforter was wrapped around me. My Barbie doll house was on the floor. My Little Mermaid decorations hung on the wall. Everything around me was an absolute mess. My clock told me that I had twenty minutes to catch the bus. However, that did not stop me from breathing a sigh of relief. I put a hand to my head.
"I've been writing too much Fan Fiction."
A (almost) true story. I added some stuff to make it more interesting.
Though seriously, my mind is getting all messed up. It's crazy!