AN:Okay, so this is just a short story. Only one chapter. I just wanted to show my love and appreciation for the amazing band My Chem. Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Ray...You are my heros!

CONTAINS DARK THEMES!

Tell me once again

That you'll love me to the death

And should I die, you swear that you will come for me

As I fade away, you reach out your hand -Mayday Parade-You be the anchor

I saw the look of sympathy and sorrow in their eyes.

And suddenly I felt so sick, so lost.

So alone.

She was gone, my little sister was gone.

Never to be seen again until lying in a wooden box, dressed in her best clothing, arms crossed over her motionless heart.

I watched as my mother's shoulders racked with heaving sobs of despair.

I ran out the hospital, attempting to escape the knowledge that she wasn't going to be with me anymore.

Almost as soon as I was outside I was spewing up vomit in the trees.

I felt betrayed by her; how could she leave me? I didn't want to forget her sweet smile, the humour that always seemed to shine in her bright blue eyes.

I threw up again, this time it was only bile but it was still had the same repulsive taste.

Only when I could taste the salty flavour did I become conscious on the fact that I was crying. This realization seemed to trigger the waterworks as I began bawling, tears stinging to my cheeks and staining the vile liquid below me.

I closed my eyes, only to be met with the image of my sweet sisters face, a sob escaped my lips and another and soon enough I had collapsed into the greenery, the loss of my innocent sister taking its hold on me.

She had done nothing to deserve this, nothing.

If there was a God out there, then he is a cruel, cruel being. To take a seven year old girl that was loved by everyone she graced her presence with should be illegal.

I tried to control my erratic breathing and shakily stood up from the ground.

I knew I had to calm down but it felt like Lily was everywhere, my brain filled with images of her laughing, playing, singing. The tears didn't stopped falling; I was beginning to think they were never going to stop.

Strangers stared at me as I slowly walked through the hospital car park.

I could tell that I was looking a mess, red puffy eyes, chapped lips and haystack hair, but still all could care about was Lily.

It felt as though I was having an out of body experience, like I was watching someone else shakily start their car and drive into a small driveway outside a run-down house.

I stumbled toward the front door, leaving the key in the ignition. The door was still unlocked as I faintly remembered the scene this morning…

My aunt rang me just as I was about to leave for the store.

"Grace, come quickly, it's Lily."

That was all she needed to say before I was speeding towards the hospital.

As I entered the room which contained my younger sister, I came before a scene no person would ever want to witness.

My sister was lying unnaturally still while my mum was grabbing tightly to her unmoving hand, speaking in a hushed tone.

It wasn't until I moved gingerly toward her did I realise she was praying, I gently rested my hand on her arm and she began rocking back and forth.

The movement unnerved me and I sat next to her, wrapping my arms around her slim frame and tried to make her stop, but the rocking only got stronger.

I looked up toward my Aunt Jane and found her staring at my sister, her lip trembling slightly.

I followed her gaze and took in her blue lips, pale skin and hairless scalp, a result of the chemotherapy.

I'd never been much of a religious person but I caught myself joining in my mother's prayers:

"Father in Heaven,

You made me Your child

and called me to walk in the Light of Christ.

Free me from darkness

and keep me in the Light of Your Truth."

My eyes never moved from Lily's chest, willing it to begin moving again.

I could feel the sobs and the warm putrid feel of vomit rise in my throat.

I found myself in the cold bathroom, my head hanging over the edge of the toilet seat.

I didn't bother cleaning my mouth out once I'd finished my spewing, I only crawled into the corner of the small room and, pulling my knees up to my chin did I begin howling,

"Please," I begged, "Please come back," my voice cracked on every word, "please."

Suddenly I began screaming, "WHY?" I stared up at the ceiling, at my invisible foe, "why would you do something like that?"

I felt the disgust on my face, "How could you?"

I buried my head in my knees and fell into the wall, letting free my sobs of misery and grief.

It was about ten minutes before the heaving held up.

I stood warily on my feet, as though it was a new feeling, and almost fell towards the bathroom cabinet.

I grabbed the pack of razorblades and ripped the plastic open, the thin sheets of metal scattered on the ground but I grabbed the only one that fell in the sink.

As if without thinking I pulled the blade across my bare skin,

"You're a worthless, fat load that doesn't deserve anything, you're such a waste of space," I sang the words to my reflection, watching as the metal danced across my arm.

I felt cold water at my feet and saw that I had turned the tap in the bathtub at some point and it was now overflowing onto the tiled floor.

A sadistic smile made its way to my face and I stepped into the freezing cold water, still fully dressed.

I noticed the tears had stopped falling, I must be all dried out now, I almost expected blood to be pouring down my face instead of clear liquid from the amount that was trailing down my arm.

I could tell the cuts were deep, if I had been in my right state of mind I might have cared, panicked even but I wasn't in my right mind; I wanted the cuts to be deep.

I felt the dizziness kick in from the loss of blood and knew it wouldn't be long till I passed out; I was still sat in the bathtub, the water now a deep red.

As I sank my head under the artic water I was vaguely aware of a blurry female figure entering the room, but the darkness overtook me before I could comprehend.

My eyes opened to a bright white light.

Heaven?

I couldn't have been good enough to get to heaven could I? Maybe God does forgive…

"Grace?"

Mum? What's she doing here?

I turned toward the unforgettable sound of her voice and found her looking at me with mourning and disappointment in her brown eyes.

"Mum?" I was shocked by the sound of my gravelly voice, what happened?

The tears in my mum's eyes seemed to flick a switch in my brain and it all came coming back, Lily, the sobs, the razorblade.

Oh Lily.

A single tear rolled down my cheek at the painful memory of her.

My mother took one last, disgusted look at my face before simply standing up and walking away, her blonde hair swaying behind her.

My mum hated me.

Was that really possible? For a mother to hate their own child?

What did I really have to live for now?

I closed my eyes and relished in the darkness it provided me, I couldn't stand to see that look on her face again.

I faintly heard the radio playing in the hospital room, I knew the song, the band was familiar to me; My Chemical Romance. I sang along to the lyrics I recognised…

"All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate

They only care if you can bleed

Does the television make you feel the pills you ate?

Or every person that you need to be

Cause you only live forever in the lights you make

When we were young we used to say

That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break

Now we are the kids from yesterday…"

I smiled a watery smile as the tears were flowing freely now.

The words almost made me forget that my mum was disgraced with me, that my life was at its weakest point.

All I knew was that life is short, but life is long enough to do what makes you happy.

So go for it, and don't give two shits what other people have to say, because it's you that matters.

The band MCR just saved my life.

Be yourself, don't take anybody's shit and never let them take you alive…

AN: I know the song at the start is Mayday parade but they are also amazing. Review? Did you like it? Do you like MCR too? Fave Song?...3

M xo