Here it is! The sequel to Naruto's New Clothes! BTW, if you haven't read that yet, I suggest you do. If you have, I applaud you! This was a request from Lady Awesome, so...this is for you! Great idea! Oh, and don't forget to read the little commercial I cooked up at the last minute while I was writing the Author's Note!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
One morning Naruto was pondering over his style once more. It seemed that a lot of people liked the jump suit (aka Lee and Gai) but he didn't feel like it was his style. Plus, it also gave him a wedgie. So how was he going to get people to acknowledge him? Hard work? Strength? Potential? Naruto got it: A new hair style.
First, Naruto had to steal some hair gel from Kakashi. Of course, he could just steal some from Jiraiya or Sasuke or Shino, but he felt that Kakashi would probably be the easiest. So he did just that.
Naruto knocked on the door to Kakashi's house. Kakashi took a while to come to the door, but he did with book in hand.
"Yes?" Kakashi said absentmindedly.
"Hiya, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto waved.
"Naruto, I told you that we aren't having any training today," Kakashi said. "You can go home or whatever you do whenever I'm not training you."
"No, no," Naruto said. "I just came to say that I know where you can find the uh…actual people who play in the Icha Icha Paradise movie! Yeah!"
Kakashi paused. "…Really?"
"Yeah, yeah!"
"Well, where?"
"In uh…the…Land of Sand! Yeah!"
"Wow…" Kakashi said, getting starry-eyed. With that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Naruto sighed in relief and stole Kakashi's stolen hair gel maniacally. He laughed maniacally and ran off to his house. Maniacally. But because he was being so maniacal about everything, he was definitely not being inconspicuous about it.
"Naruto—" Sakura said as Naruto passed her faster than Lee without his weights. Okay, not really.
"What a moron," Sasuke said.
"What was that thing he was holding, Sasuke-kun?"
"How should I know? Probably something useless and stupid."
"Hm…" Sakura said. "Maybe we should follow him."
"Why?"
"I have a bad feeling about what he's going to do," Sakura said. Then she added quickly, "But if you don't want to, we don't have to, Sasuke-kun."
"That loser was being pretty maniacal about something," Sasuke said suspiciously. "And Kakashi-sensei's not going to be here for probably an hour. Okay, let's go." If that thing Naruto was holding is Kakashi-sensei's hair gel…I'm gonna kill him. No one can steal that except for me!
"All right." YES! I get to go on a stalk date with Sasuke!
The two followed the trail of dust that Naruto had left behind that was still floating leisurely in the air.
"Hi Sasuke-kun! How are you?" Ino popped out from a barrel and in front of Sasuke.
"None of your business, Ino-pig!"
No, Sasuke didn't say that, Sakura did. I wish he did though.
"What do you want, Ino. We're on a mission," Sasuke said.
"A mission? What're you doing?"
"If you have to know, we're on a mission to find Naruto," Sakura said.
"Naruto? He just ran off maniacally over there," Chouji said, chomping on his ever so delicious chips of delight. He pointed to the left.
"Yeah, it was kind of scary," Shikamaru said. "He was carrying a bottle of some kind."
"Let's go," Sasuke said.
"Hey, I want to come too!" Ino exclaimed.
"Ino, don't we have to train?" Chouji asked.
"This is a 'mission', right?" Ino said. "So this is training! Let's go!"
"Oh…if you say so…"
"Troublesome…" Shikamaru groaned.
The two boys followed the fan girls and Uchiha. The came to another fork in the road…er, village.
"Which way?" Sakura said to no one in particular. Probably Sasuke though.
"Hello Sakura-san! Your beauty gets even more radiant every day!"
Sakura cracked a smile. "…Hello, Lee-san."
"You guys looking for something?" Neji asked. "That maniac Naruto, perhaps?"
"He was being really freaky," Tenten added.
"Yeah," Shikamaru said. "Which way did he go?"
The team pointed left.
"What was that thing he was holding anyway, Neji?" Lee asked.
"Some kind of hair gel," Neji said.
"Hair gel?" everyone said in unison.
"Yeah," Neji answered.
"Now I'm curious," Lee said. "Come, Team Gai! We will now pursue Naruto!"
The two sane members shrugged and the group carried on with their quest.
They eventually ran into Kiba's team who were out on a morning stroll.
"Hey guys! What're you doing running around in a group?" Kiba asked.
"Wh-Where is N-Naruto?" Hinata asked.
"He's running somewhere with a bottle of hair gel!" Lee explained.
"…" Kiba's team said.
"Well that sounds great! Are you trailing him?"
"That's right," Shikamaru said. "Though I have no idea why."
"I-It d-does s-sound a b-bit interesting, don't you think, Kiba-kun?" Hinata asked.
"Yeah," Kiba nodded. "Okay, I'll bite. What's he doing with the hair gel?"
"We don't know," Sakura said.
"Then that settles it! We're coming too!"
"Isn't that Naruto over there?" Shino said, pointing towards Naruto's house that just happened to be there. The group saw the form of Naruto laughing his head off about something.
"Yosh! We found him!" Lee exclaimed with excitement.
"Come on," Sasuke said. "That idiot left his window open."
They sneaked up to the long window that we never noticed before that probably isn't there but it is in this fanfic and watched the Number One Hyperactive Knucklehead Ninja set the gel on the table.
Naruto was having giggling spasms. After his spasms he squirted a small amount of gel on his hand and started messing with his hair.
"I'll have the most perfect hair in the world!" Naruto exclaimed. "It'll go great with my new look!"
The group had horrifying flashbacks of Naruto in spandex (except for Lee whose eyes were shining) and then turned their attention back to Naruto who had his hair all nice and gelled up like a certain masked ninja everyone knows and loves.
"I'm Hatake Kakashi!" Naruto laughed. He ran off and came back with a towel over half of his face and his forehead protector over one eye. "I have weird gray hair that defies gravity even though I'm twenty-six!"
SOMEWHERE IN SUNA…
"Kakashi, I told you, get out," Gaara said dangerously. Then he looked a little confused. "What are you doing?"
Kakashi was twitching. "I feel…a disturbance…in my BATHROOM!"
With that, he ran off, leaving a slightly disturbed and baffled Gaara. He turned to his siblings. "Temari, Kankuro, go to Leaf to make sure everything's fine. Kakashi was acting odd."
"You think?" Kankuro said.
Gaara gave Kankuro the evil eye.
"R-Right. We're going."
BACK AT KONOHA …
Everyone sweat dropped as Naruto took some more hair gel and started spiking his hair in the back.
"He wouldn't…" Sasuke said darkly.
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke! I'm so obsessed with killing my brother Itachi who is so much better than I am! I don't know why I try! Naruto's way better than I am! By a mile! I should get a haircut…or at least brush my hair once in a while! I just get out of bed and my hair is like a bird's nest! Yeah, I should get my hair styled like Naruto's!"
"I'm gonna kill—"
"Quiet, he's doing someone else," Shikamaru said, obviously amused.
Naruto flattened his hair. Interestingly, his hair was pretty long if it wasn't so spiky. It was about to his shoulders. Like Sakura's.
"I'm the beautiful and hot Haruno Sakura! Oh Sasuke-kun! I just hate you so much! And I love Naruto-kun! He's so much more cooler than you! But maybe I should dye my hair red! Naruto would like that! Pink is such a girly color! That bubblegum accident always haunts me!"
Ino and Lee were holding Sakura back from pounding Naruto into the ground.
Sakura growled. NARUTO! I'LL KILL YOU ONCE I SEE YOU AGAIN! YOU JERK!
Naruto opened a drawer and took out a few hair ties. Why he had them, I don't know. Ask Naruto.
"What's he doing with hair ties?" Kiba asked.
"Why is he doing it with hair ties?" Tenten said.
"Hello! I am Yamanaka Ino, the number one Sasuke fan girl of the century! I am so annoying with my constant babbling about Sasuke! My hair is so deformed! I have one strand that sticks up in front of my face for no apparent reason!"
"Oh no he didn't!" Ino said, getting evil eyes.
"Calm down, Ino," Chouji said. "Your hair isn't that weird."
Ino shot daggers at Chouji.
"Sh! He's doing another person! Looks like…Shikamaru?" Kiba said.
Shikamaru's eyes got wide.
"Yo, I'm Nara Shikamaru," Naruto said in a lazy voice. "I'm a lazy guy who doesn't deserve to be a chuunin. Naruto should take my place. Everything in the world is so crappy and troublesome.He's such a better ninja and he doesn't have a jacked up spiked ponytail."
Shikamaru pouted. "What a troublesome guy."
"Hi, I'm Akimichi Chouji! I—oh wait, let me get some chips! Yeah!" Naruto left and reappeared momentarily. "I (crunch) am Akimichi Chouji (crunch)! Check me out (crunch) with my (crunch) deformed hair (crunch) that's held down (crunch) with my trusty (crunch) head underwear!"
"Those chips look good…Are those barbecue?" Chouji said.
"Chouji, he's mocking you!" Ino exclaimed quietly.
"Looks like he's mocking you now, Shino," Kiba snorted.
Shino just had this…LOOK on his face.
"I am Aburame Shino," Naruto said in an even voice. "I love bugs. So many bugs. Oh so many bugs. My hair is so distorted. It's like…a spiky afro. What's up with that?"
"I don't talk like that," Shino said. "And I like my hair…"
Kiba started snickering.
"Kiba-kun…he sort of looks like you now…" Hinata whispered.
"What?"
They all looked up in time to see Naruto painting red triangular lines on his face.
"Why that little—"
"Hi, I'm Inuzuka Kiba! I carry around a dog on my head! Hope nothing happens up there! No wonder my hairs so messed up all the time!"
Kiba and Akamaru growled.
Naruto wiped the lines off his face and took some more gel.
"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata squeaked.
"I-I'm Hyuuga Hinata," Naruto said in a quiet voice while poking his fingers. "I-I w-wonder what m-my hair color is? I-Is it blue? Or b-black? Or p-purple? How d-did I g-get this way? D-Did I g-get my hair d-dunked into a v-vat of blueberry juice?"
Hinata was crying on the inside.
"I think we should go before he does—"
"I'm Tenten! I have no last name and I hardly show up anywhere! How do I get my hair in buns? Nobody knows!"
Tenten sweat dropped. "So lame…"
"I am Hyuuga Neji. My ego is bigger than the universe! No one has a bigger ego than I do because I am so much better than everyone. It's true. If anyone needs tips about how to keep your hair nice, long, and silky, just ask me. My hair is boss."
"That idiot. I don't say things like that," Neji said, looking offended.
Now Lee was the only one left.
"Hey, you punks!"
Naruto jumped. He thought he heard a familiar voice. He looked out the window to see…!
"Hey! It's a butterfly!" Naruto gazed at the butterfly blankly for a while and then got back to his fun.
"Get off me!"
"Sh! Naruto will hear you!" Sakura hissed.
Kankuro and Temari were being held back by Shino, Lee, Ino, and Tenten. Why did those people grab the siblings? Simply because they were the closest ones there.
"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Sasuke asked.
"We came to warn you that Kakashi is back and he kind of went nuts in Suna," Temari explained. "Now get off me. And what's the hyperactive one doing anyway?"
"I am Rock Lee!" Naruto said, his hair held down by the massive amount of hair gel. "My hair is so geeky, I got it cut at Nerds and Shears! Everything in the world is so youthful and glorious! I think I'll run off randomly once the sun sets!"
"Here comes the waterworks," Tenten sighed.
Lee started to shed an ocean of tears. "Naruto-kun! That if not youthful!" Of course, he did this quietly so Naruto wouldn't hear.
"Let's see…who else do I know…?" Naruto said aloud. "Oh! I know!" He took some more hair ties and hair gel. "I am…"
"He isn't…" Temari said in shock.
"…Temari! I have four spiky pigtails and I'll never change my hair style! NEVER!"
"That little…"
Kankuro was cracking up. "Hey Temari, I've been wondering why you really haven't changed your hair since we were kids!"
Suddenly, the large group of Konoha ninja and two Sand siblings saw a flash of lightning and heard a crash of thunder. The clear, beautiful day turned dark and dangerous. People retreated into their homes and locked the doors. A rumbling that sounded like a stampede sounded. A dust cloud was visible on the horizon.
"Uh-oh," Sakura said. "I know that noise."
"Run!" Sasuke hissed. "Before—"
It was too late. Kakashi came into distance, his on evident eye glistening evilly. He crashed through Naruto's door, almost making the boy die of a heart attack.
"ARGH! Kakashi-sensei!"
"UZUMAKI NARUTO! YOU'RE TIME HAS COME!"
Naruto cowered in the corner as Kakashi walked forward creepily. "Where…is…it?"
"O-on the t-table," Naruto trembled.
Kakashi walked over to the table and picked up the bottle. "It's…EMPTY!" Kakashi flashed an evil-eye at Naruto who squeaked. Naruto turned around and covered his head.
Kakashi stomped over, creating holes in the ground. He made a hand seal. Tiger.
Naruto trembled.
"A THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!"
"AIEEEEEEEEEE!"
Naruto flew through the roof and died in the stratosphere but came back to life to live another day simply because he's the main character and he always has to live.
Naruto pulled himself together and slumped back to his house to find…the genin and Shikamaru!
"You think you can make fun of us behind our backs, do you?" Kiba said. "C'mon, Akamaru, let's give him a beating!"
Akamaru barked in agreement.
"Th-That wasn't v-very n-nice, Naruto-kun," Hinata mumbled.
"When ninja mock other ninja, it usually means they want to fight," Shino said.
"You're gonna pay, loser," Sasuke warned.
"No one messes with me," Neji said.
"You will feel the wrath of the handsome green beast of Konoha!" Lee declared.
"Do you want us to kill you?" Temari demanded.
"Gives us a good reason," Kankuro smirked.
"I'm gonna beat you so hard you'll feel it seven months from now!" Tenten shouted.
"Nobody makes fun of me and Shikamaru!" Chouji exclaimed.
"It's too troublesome," Shikamaru said. "But what Chouji said."
"Naruto…" Sakura and Ino said, cracking their knuckles. "You're finished."
"Uh…heheh…now, now, let's not be too hasty…"
WHAM!
THWACK!
CRASH!
"OW!"
This fic was brought to you by Kakashi's Hair Gel.
Kakashi: Wondering how I always get all the ladies? (is surrounded by acrowd of scanty women)
Kakashi: Is it my good looks? My skills? My coolness? My membershipin the hottest guys in Konoha Club? No! It's...hair flies in the wind my hair! I keep it nice and shiny, but the thing that attracts everybody is that it defies gravity!
Kakashi whips out a bottle of hair gel with him on it doing a thumbs up
Kakashi: Not only is it strong with hair, it's strong with ninjutsu!
Random evil guy with a mask: Kakashi! I challenge you to a fight!
Kakashi: (squirts hair gel bottle)
Random evil guy with a mask: (gets bombarded with lilac-scented gel) ARGH! CURSE YOU KAKASHI AND YOUR HAIR GEL!
Kakashi: thumbs up Hair gel, you never let me down!
Jiraiya: Buy it today! Kakashi's Hair Gel now comes in lavendar lilac and scarlet strawberry!
Hope you liked it! R&R please! Oh, and if anyone wants me to rant about anything else about Naruto, just put it in your review! Lates!
-TTF