~First off; I want to thank everyone who took the time to answer my poll and review the first two stories. You guys definately hepled me out, I was totally undecided on who to pair AJ up with, but you guys sure weren't. I hope this story lives up to everyone's expectations. Secondly; OMG Raven is back!!!!!! I'm like so excited it's almost gross lol. I was folding laundry while watching Impact this Thursday & when I turned back around Raven was on my T.V. and I totally gasped like I was having heart failure haha. I even knocked over my pile of clothes. I'm so happy he's back it's borderline unhealthy. Not to mention he seems to be in league with Stevie Richards & Daffney, I so cannot wait to see where this angle leads. I hope it doesn't suck, but I'm just so happy that he's back I'll take whatever they give me lol. Okay I'm done gushing... :dances like an idiot while shouting 'Raven's back, Raven's back':... Now I'm done gushing ;) And Raven isn't the only return to TNA. Victoria is a knockout now... hellz yeah. I didn't love her character in the WWE, but she can totally wrestle, and she's like wicked strong. I can't wait to see her and Kong hook up. And Shane Douglas came back too, it's like a highschool reunion at TNA haha. Thirdly; the Guns made an appearance on that cool video game show after Impact and were utterly adorable. Poor Chris was confused as to what show he was actually on and Alex is training for the inevitable zombie attack that's going to end the world. They were so damn cute, you just gotta love those boys. I watched it just for them, but some of those games looked pretty cool. I kinda want the Batman game, idk the name, the Asylum one where you can be the joker too. I may have an idea for a MCMG story based on that appearnace. Anyway... As always reviews mean the world to me so please leave me some feedback. Thanks, Enjoy~
~Bulletproof Love~
Christian took a deep breath as he stared out into the storm. Rain was pelting his rental car so hard it sounded like he was trapped in the funnel of a hurricane. He'd lost track of how long he'd been sitting out there, all he knew is that when he arrived the clouds were only starting to grow dark. He'd watched as some of the other wrestlers sprinted across the asphalt hurrying into the Impact Zone. Some of them glanced at his car parked on the furthest side of the lot, but no one could make out that he was sitting there behind the sheets of water. He told himself he was waiting for the storm to let up; the thunder boomed as if it was yelling at him for being a coward. Christian groaned in agreement with nature. It had taken nearly a month for him to make the drive down to Orlando. After seeing him in the crowd at a show Christian couldn't find a moment of peace. Christian's heart had shattered when he backed away from his touch, and watching the younger boy run out made Christian feel like he was choking on the shards. The blonde shook his head as his throat tightened again. Just remembering the anxious look in those innocent cerulean blue eyes made his stomach clench and jump to his esophagus like he was free falling with a faulty parachute. It was obvious that the young brunette didn't want to see him, so what was he doing here? Why had he driven all night long back to this place? He banged his head on the edge of the steering wheel.
"Because this is where I belong." He thought. "This is home."
Christian nearly leapt out of his skin when he heard a pounding on the window. Terry jerked the door open with a growl; a hood was shielding him against the heavy downpour.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded.
Christian stared up into his old friend's enraged brown eyes. He tried to answer, but his voice had deserted him.
Terry ripped him out of the seat by the front of his white shirt and slammed him up against the wet car like he was trying to force the words out of him. Christian grimaced at the blow but didn't struggle. He let the war machine hold him in place. Even being shoved up against the solid metal of his car didn't stop the awful feeling of spiraling downward. When he opened his eyes again Terry caught his lifeless gaze and finally slackened his hold. The war machine shook his head and had to look away. His friend's blue eyes were so full of pain that it hurt just to look at him. His strong arm slid away from Christian releasing him completely.
"You have to fix this," Terry spoke in that familiar gruff tone.
Christian whimpered. "What if I can't?"
Terry's brown eyes narrowed leaving no room for argument. "You have to."
Christian's head fell under the weight of his friend's words. He heard Terry sigh, and then stiffened when he felt himself being engulfed in a tight embrace.
"It's good to see you man," Terry whispered.
Christian bit his bottom lip, he didn't return the hug. Taking a step back Terry nodded curtly and shouldered his bag.
"C'mon. You can't sit out here all night."
Christian shrank back toward the car again. He looked across the parking lot toward the door. He couldn't do this.
There was too much standing in between the entrance and him. 10 months of insomnia, 10 months of guilt gnawing at the very marrow in his bones, 10 months of not being able to meet his own reflection in a mirror, 10 months of constantly plummeting and never finding the sweet collision with concrete, 10 months without him. Christian gasped at the sudden burning on his chest. He reached up and closed his fist around the silver band hanging off the corded black necklace. The ring seemed to pulse in his hand at the prospect of seeing its rightful owner. Tears collected in his eyelashes but he refused to let them fall, they didn't deserve to.
Terry placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Can we at least get out of the rain?"
Christian met those familiar brown eyes again and tucked himself against Terry's side and allowed the larger man to hustle them through the storm. Once inside the Impact Zone Christian fell back onto the wall as memories assaulted him from every corner. They pummeled him all at once, only being chased away when Terry put his arm back around his shoulders. He maneuvered them into a vacant locker room and shut the door tight against Christian's ghosts.
"I'm not gonna lie to you C, he's worse than you are now. He's third on the card tonight; you have to wait until after the match to see him. He won't be able to work if he sees you first."
Christian lowered himself onto the bench unconsciously dropping his head into his hands. He couldn't do this.
Terry knelt down in front of him. "Listen to me, I was there when this thing started remember, I know both sides of the story. I know how this has affected both of you. It's destroyed you just as much as it has him. If you let this go any further it's gonna end up killing you both. I can't promise it can go back to the way it was, but one way or the other you need to fix it."
"What if I can't? What if he doesn't want me to?"
"Oh he wants you to, trust me. It's just a question of if he'll let you. You hurt him, it's gonna take a lot for him to let you back in," Terry explained bluntly.
"I can't do this," Christian rasped attempting to stand.
Terry shoved him back down. "You've gotta find a way to do this. You can't keep running form it; you were a coward 10 months ago when you didn't say no to Adam, you need to step up now. He deserves better than this, he deserves better from you." Terry reached inside Christian's shirt and pulled out the ring.
Blue eyes squeezed shut at the blinding reflection of the silver band. Christian felt it hit his chest like a wrecking ball. He had to do this. He nodded once and when he met Terry's gaze this time the war machine was shocked, but relieved, to find a spark of determination in the once vacant eyes.
"I'll be in the locker room after his match," he assured.
Terry offered him a tight lipped cautious smile. He patted Christian on the shoulder and then left to get ready for the show.
~xxx~
Christian received Terry's text message that the third match had just started and the blonde quickly went to the Frontline's locker room. The door creaked opened and he followed it inside. The conversations stopped all at once and a collective gasp sounded in the room. Terry fixed all the younger guys with a warning glare before giving Christian a warm smile.
"Are you serious?" Someone demanded.
Christian glanced over at Christopher Daniels who was now standing up from his seat beside the Motor City Machine Guns.
"What the hell are you doing here Cage?" The TNA original ordered.
"Chris," Alex Shelley put his hand on his shoulder.
"No," he shook the younger boy off and marched up to Christian. "Was Edge busy tonight?"
Christian lowered his head as Daniels continued, "You nearly killed him. Jesus, he is dead on the inside; he doesn't smile anymore, doesn't laugh, you broke him. Seeing you is only gonna make it worse. Haven't you hurt him enough? You shouldn't have come here."
"That's enough Daniels," Terry stepped up beside Christian. "Back off."
"Why should he?" Alex stood next to the bald wrestler who would be his opponent for the night. "You of all people should be against this. You've seen what he's done to him," Alex narrowed his eyes at Christian.
"This has nothing to do with you Shelley," the war machine snarled. "Christian knows he made a mistake, and he's paid for it just as much."
"Somehow I doubt that," Daniels retorted. "Why now? It's been almost a year; can't you let him forget you?"
Terry opened his mouth to support his friend, but Christian answered before he could. In the smallest of whispers, he admitted, "I love him."
Alex scoffed, "Until Edge calls you back to bed right?"
Christian sniffled unable to say anything in his own defense. Terry finally charged in between the three boys, shoving Alex back a few steps. "I said that's enough damnit!"
Chris Sabin's eyes narrowed and he was by his partner side faster than a heartbeat. "Don't go there Terry," he warned. "We're just concerned for him that's all."
With all the commotion erupting around the locker room, no one noticed the door creak again. But Christian's ears perked at a familiar gasp. His eyes shot up off of the floor, and found the ocean blue depths he'd missed so much. With just one look into those eyes Christian felt himself land suddenly. The dizzying feeling of plunging straight down suddenly stopped. He finally found home again: in a pair of immaculate sapphire eyes. Christian elbowed his way between the others; he had to be closer to him.
"Everybody out," Terry ordered.
The other occupants hurried to comply, but some didn't move fast enough.
"Now Daniels," the war machine barked as he held the door opened.
"C'mon 'Lex," Chris Sabin laced his fingers through the younger boy's and led him out of the locker room. All the boys cast a glance back at their friend and hoped Terry knew what he was doing.
Silence was screaming inside the locker room, there was so much one had to say, so much one needed to hear, but both voices seemed to be out of practice. Two matching shades of blue had been trained on each other since the younger boy had come in. Each was glistening with the threat of tears. Christian took the first step forward, then another, slowly closing the gap separating them. His breath started to come in short gasps the closer Christian got, like he couldn't get enough into his lungs. When Christian was close enough to touch, he noticed the younger brunette was pale, and his eyes were clamped shut. He was fumbling for the door handle behind him and finally managed to get a hold of it.
"I can't do this," he drawled shaking his head.
Christian shoved the door closed, before either could register what was happening, Christian was pressed up against him leaning on the door.
"Please Angel," his breath ghosted over his face.
He whimpered and Christian watched two perfect diamonds drip down his cheeks. The Canadian reacted before thinking again. He cupped that baby soft face and wiped the water away with his thumbs. The brunette sobbed and laid his head back on the door attempting to escape the touch. Christian moaned; the rejection was worse than falling. He released the boy stumbling backward. Christian's teary blue eyes fell down to the floor again. He turned away from the brunette as they started to leak out. He waited to hear the thud of the door close. He knew he didn't want him anymore. Daniels was right. He shouldn't have come.
Suddenly Christian felt a feather light touch on his shaking shoulder. He was slowly turned around and was once again able to look into beautiful cobalt eyes. Those eyes were tentative like a frightened rabbit, but they never wavered. His hands trembled as he caressed Christian's face. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth while he studied the blonde before him. He ran his hand down Christian chest stopping when he found the ring hiding under his shirt. He pulled it out, as he grazed his fingers over it more tears pooled in his eyes. Christian slipped his arms around the smaller waist just before he turned away. Instead of letting the younger boy walk away he pulled him closer against his chest. He stiffened a bit, but the blonde refused to loosen his hold. He put his forehead against the brunette's, and stared directly into those sapphire eyes.
"I've already apologized for what I did," Christian began softly; "I know that the words can't change it, but you have to know if I could take it back I would. You're the last person in the world that I wanted to hurt, and you're the one I hurt the most. I know that… I know that I don't deserve you; I know that I don't deserve to be here holding you like this. I've tried to live without you Angel, and I just…I can't. I'm not living at all. You were my everything, Jesus, you still are."
A quiet whine escaped the younger boy and he buried his face into the white shirt. He sniffled, inhaling the familiar sent of rosewood with a hint of spice. It wrapped itself around him calming him and making his pulse quicken all at the same time.
"I'm not asking you if we can go back to the way things were. I understand that we might never be the same; I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. I messed up so bad, and I hurt you, but I need you more than anything… I love you so much," Christian's emotions finally overtook him. He struggled to contain the sob fighting its way out. He waited for the younger boy to push him away, but the brunette pressed himself deeper into the embrace. Christian couldn't hold back his choked gasp; he pulled him closer, tangling his fingers into his soft chestnut brown hair.
"God Angel," he breathed, "I love you."
He whimpered and took a slight step back, just enough to look up at the handsome face of the Canadian.
"I… I can't say that back yet," he whispered and bit hard on his bottom lip. "You were my whole world Christian. You… You had my heart and my soul since the first moment I saw you. As much as I wanna say it back and make things okay again, I just can't yet."
Christian's eyes fell closed and he nodded numbly. "I get it," he dropped his arms from the smaller boy's waist.
"No you don't." He grabbed his arms, slipped them back around his waist, and snuggled into the embrace. "Why's it all or nothing? Can't we just start over from the beginning? Just because I can't say it now doesn't mean I won't be able to say it at all. You're not the only one who can't live without someone. I need you too… I can't keep doing this without you." The young brunette had grown frantic and big salty tears were falling shamelessly down his cheeks.
"Shh," Christian gathered him closer and rubbed the nape of his neck softly. It instantly calmed him, just like it always had. "We'll go as slow as you want okay?" He kissed his ear, "I promise I'll never hurt you again."
He fisted Christian's shirt pulling him closer still. "Please. I can't ever do this again."
"You won't Angel." Christian sniffed, "you won't."
Christian rested his forehead against his once more. Two pairs of cobalt eyes met, both tinged with red this time. Slowly Christian tilted his chin up, leaving the movements unhurried so he could pull away at any given moment. But he didn't, he leaned in meeting Christian's mouth in a timid heartfelt kiss. It was a soft brushing of lips, as if the caress itself was made for the delicate satin of rose petals. Christian let him end it when he was ready.
"Can I take you dinner tonight?" The blonde hoped.
He smiled and his striking sapphire blue eyes lit up. "I'd like that."
Christian beamed back; his smile had always been infectious. He knew what the younger boy had given him tonight. He knew it wasn't a second chance, but his only chance. Christian had made him a promise, and he knew that he'd die before he broke it. He was going to show him that he could say it back. Christian was going to show him that it was safe to love him again. One look into his eyes and he knew he could do this.