~Author's Note~
I know, I know, I haven't finished A Wolf's Determination yet, but his idea has been bugging me for a long time and I just thought that I would use my Sunday afternoon. The ships in this are strictly personal, so no arguments over it please ;) I almost cried when I wrote this. It might be helpful to have a tissue box nearby.
Of course, I don't own SnK or any of its character. If I do...that's not go there.
Read, review, and don't cry too hard!
Warning: Broken hearts are not to be blamed on this story.
~Towairaitookami
"We did it," Jean smiled at the sunset.
The swirls of colors decorated the sky, vivid like his feelings.
"We did it," He repeated to himself. "We won. Things can go back to normal now."
Memories from his childhood flooded his every being, the soft voice of his mother, the rumbling laugh of his dad, even the annoying cries of his baby sisters. His muscles screamed at him to run, run like a freed stallion, and back home, back into the comforts of beds and sheets, cookies and cakes, laughter and love.
His steps were unsteady at first, like a toddler first learning to walk. Then his primal instincts took over, pumping his legs as fast as he can back to the walls, back to where he belonged.
The wind rejoiced with him, pushing his back as if urging him to go faster. The grass embraced his feet and the trees waved their arms like cheerleaders. His gear and jacket flapped at his sides, bouncing up and down with the rhythm of his strides. His boots were killing his feet, but the adrenaline numbed the pain and like hell it was going to stop him anyways.
Every step closer, recollections of the past started to flash faster and faster before his eyes. The rush of cold water as he jumped in the river with his friends, the impact of knuckles against fast and the immediate taste of metallic blood afterwards, and-
Tripped by an unseen object, his face hurtled to the dirt. His braced arms caught his falling torso, rescuing him from the unfortunate fate of a smashed nose. Cursing at his own carelessness, he turned around to unhook his boot.
All thoughts of home vanished.
Tangled with his shoe was his friend, Connie. His small frame was crushed and covered with blood. Beneath him was Sasha. Her hair was out of its normal ponytail. Instead, the strands flew everywhere and hid her face. And a good thing that was. Her skull was smashed inwards, leaving no facial features untouched.
Jerking his foot away, Jean stared at them, horrified. He frantically crawled away on his hands and knees to stop the bile from climbing.
Barely a couple feet later, he felt another corpse.
"No," he whispered. "No! This is not possible!"
In front of him lay his leader. The once bright eyes are now closed. The hands that would clench the deadly blades are now relaxed. Too much so. His blood was drunk hungrily by the ground, staining it dark red. His arms were draped around his rival, Eren, no doubt trying to protect the boy. But his wish was not to be granted.
Jean looked away from Eren. He suffered a fate no one should have suffered. The hot-headed boy's limbs were torn from his body. The gruesome wounds smiled at Jean innocently.
Scrambling to his feet, the tall boy sprinted away from the scene as if the devil himself was after him. But it was already too late. The devil has already taken over Jean's world.
As he accelerated, he could see the bodies of his companions flash by. The mutilated form of Mikasa, the weird angle in Annie's neck, Bertolt and Reiner's last hug as they were crushed by a titan's foot, Ymir and Christa's silent scream...they imbedded themselves into Jean's mind.
He squeezed his eyes close and willed his legs to go faster, not wanting to prolong his torture.
The tip of his foot caught against an obstacle and sent him falling for the second time that day. His eyes opened at the impact and instinctively went to the culprit.
"No!" He sobbed as he caught sight of the bright blond hair and the sky blue eyes. The cold figure was spread out, like a bird who has lost his wings. "No!"
For the first time, he went towards the dead body, not hurrying to get away at all.
"No!" Strange warm water started to fall from his amber eyes. "This can not be happening! This is all a dream!"
His arms encircled the petite body and rested the head in his lap.
"It's all a dream," He mumbled. "It's okay. We'll wake up together and everyone will be there with us. It's all a dream!"
Bringing the corpse closer to his chest, he buried his nose into the silky strands. His senses picked up on the familiar peppermint smell that clung to the boy beneath him.
"We'll be waking up any minute now," Jean ignored the discomfort a pebble digging into his leg. "We'll be waking up in the hard beds of the dorms, but it's warm because you are always there like my personal heater. Eren and Mikasa will be glaring at me, as if I was going to kill you. Ymir, Sasha, and Connie, would be laughing their butt off at us and pointing at our bed heads. Those assholes. Heichou would come in and make everything quiet and awkward before telling us to get ready for a mission."
The boy took a shaky breath, "Everyone would get changed and I can't help it but stare at you. You are so perfect in everyway, from your adorable face to your small feet. Your smile would make my heart stop beating for a while, until I was sure that if you told me to go die, I would do just that and stop breathing on the spot."
Sitting back, he ran his fingers through the feather soft hair.
"I am such a coward. I never have enough courage. Do you know why I kept on irritating Eren?" His hand halting in its tracks. "Because I was envious of him. I wanted his bravery. I wanted it, if only for just a second. I needed it, just to say one thing. One thing." Salty tears covered his face. "And you know what that one thing is? What I've wanted to say ever since I saw you? What has been hurting me for the past five years? No, you don't. You are a genius, but you refuse to see yourself as someone to pin after. In that area, you're as much of an idiot as Connie. But I have to say this. I have to say this at least once: I love you."
He muffled his renewed sobs against the dead boy's neck, "Don't leave me! You promised that you were going to stay with me after Marco left! Don't you dare leave me too!"
Darkness ate up the sun. Even the stars hid behind the clouds.
Jean screamed his grief into the sky.
"Don't leave me, Armin!"