The scrawl of pen on paper seemed so loud in the empty apartment. Once, in another lifetime, it seemed, this small nook of an apartment had been teeming with life. Once, it had been a home. Now, it was just empty space that served to remind its occupant of the emptiness in his heart. Riley Poole looked down at the official-looking document, crumpling the edges slightly as he attempted to calm his shaking hands. Part of him couldn't believe what he was about to do; the other half thought it was exactly what he needed. It would be an escape from this living nightmare, the one he'd been having for the past two weeks; a nightmare from which he desperately wanted to wake up.
The only problem was…he wasn't asleep.
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
Three weeks ago, on a rainy day much like this one, Riley's world had been torn apart. His soul had been shattered into a million tiny pieces by a man he didn't even know; a man whom he'd never forget. Sitting up a little more rigidly in his chair, he took a deep breath, trying to will away the tears he knew would soon start to cloud his vision. Realizing that he was fighting a losing battle, he set the form on the desk in front of him and let the tears flow.
Three weeks ago, his almost-perfect life had been destroyed in front of his very eyes. Three weeks ago, almost to the hour, Benjamin Franklin Gates had been killed in a car accident.
What would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.
For how long Riley sat in that chair, he didn't know. His shoulders shook with every breath he took, teardrops staining the front of his striped polo. He wasn't the same person he had been three weeks back, certainly not. In his own personal opinion, he felt that person wasn't even the right term to use. Anyone who knew Riley well, be it Ben's father Patrick or their faithful sidekick Abigail, could tell that he had been reduced to a former shell of himself. The day Ben had died, part of Riley had died with him.
Wiping at his eyes furiously, Riley tried to gain control over his raging emotions. Despite desperately wanting to rid himself of every reminder of Ben Gates, the techie knew he wouldn't be able to do it. Picking up the apartment listing form, he balled it up and threw it vaguely in the direction of the trash can. He didn't bother to look to see if his shot had made it into the basket; pushing back his chair, Riley grabbed his jean jacket from the hook by the door and his keys from the table and set off into the rain.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go,
May angels lead you in.
The rain cascaded down from the heavens, soaking Riley within minutes. Looking around, he realized that he had already put about five blocks' distance between his apartment and him; he also realized that he didn't know where he was going. Two seconds later, he decided that he didn't care. The difference between walking to the grocery store and the nearest park wouldn't heal his broken heart, so it didn't particularly matter where he went. Everything (and everywhere) seemed the same to him lately.
So what would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
Now I'll never have a chance.
As he walked, Riley thought. He thought about things that were, things that are, and things that had yet come to pass. He thought about the Library of Congress and his tiny cubicle (where all of this had started), about the two fantastic and irreplaceable treasures he had helped find (which had helped change his life for the better), and finally, about the man that had made his life complete (which had been cruelly taken away from him far too soon). Riley had never dreamed of the perfect guy; after all, he wasn't perfect, so why should his partner be? However, from that first moment of meeting Ben Gates, he learned what falling in love felt like.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
Riley remembered the first day he had met Ben Gates, remembered what it was like to shake the awarded historian's hand. He remembered having lunch the next day; he honestly had no clue what they talked about, or what he ate, but it was a good memory nonetheless. He remembered days of being holed up in the library with the older man, not having a clue what Ben was rambling on about, but rather focusing his attention on what the man was wearing. Those had been the days. Looking up from those memories of Ben, a tear made its way silently down Riley's cheek. His feet had unknowingly lead him to Ben's headstone, inside the cemetery twenty minutes down the road from his apartment. Dropping to his knees, the tears began to come in earnest as the memory of that night flashed before his closed eyes.
Flashing lights of all colors lit up the night, whirling 'round in time with the sirens that cut through the silence of the otherwise deserted intersection. Riley stood on the corner of the two streets, looking at the wreckage in front of him with horror. Five minutes ago, he had been sitting happily in front of the television in his and Ben's bedroom, waiting for his other (and, in his opinion, better) half to come home. Ben had been staying late at the library for the past couple of nights; he had told the younger man earlier in the day that he thought he might be onto something, something bigger (if that was possible) than the other two treasures combined. Chuckling at the latest joke made by Jeff Dunham, the sound was abruptly cut off by the sound of the telephone ringing on the bedside table. Leaning across the king-size bed the two shared, Riley picked up the phone.
"Ben, if you were gonna stay this late, I would have given you a curfew yester-"
Riley's snap comment stopped mid word as he realized that it wasn't Ben on the other end of the line. The sounds coming from the television had been drowned out by the rapid beating of his heart; Riley's heart rate had doubled at the news being given to him by the calm-sounding man on the other end of the line.
"Th- that's not possible! I just spoke to him; you must be mistaken," Riley all but yelled at the phone.
Silence reigned as the young man listened to the voice on the other end, being replaced by the sounds of racking sobs as Riley threw down the phone. It wasn't possible; the man must be lying. Vaulting himself up off the bed, he grabbed his keys and ran out of the house, heading towards the intersection right at the end of the road.
The intersection of Gramblin and Thomas, which normally was empty, was blocked by the presence of fire trucks, ambulances, and police cars. Flashing lights of all colors lit up the night, whirling 'round in time with the sirens that cut through the silence of the otherwise deserted intersection. In the middle of the intersection were the remains of two cars, and by the looks of it, they had impacted while doing quite an impressive speed. Crossing the street silently, Riley walked over to (what was left of) Ben's blue Honda Civic. Putting his hand on the busted fender, Riley fell to his knees as the tears and sadness overwhelmed him.
Opening his eyes for the first time in minutes, Riley realized that it had stopped raining. Looking around, he noticed that he had been holding onto Ben's headstone as if it was the very life preserver that was keeping him alive. (Alive in the physical sense, rather; he felt that his emotional side had died in the crash with Ben.) Feeling a single tear make its way down his cheek, Riley sat back on his knees, looked at the tombstone, and softly began to sing.
"And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live."
As he finished the line, Riley's voice cracked, his sorrow and pain making itself evident. As he took a deep breath, a hand placed itself gently on the young man's right shoulder. Jumping at the sudden contact, Riley whirled around to find Abigail kneeling in the grass behind him. Relaxing slightly, he didn't bother to hide his red eyes or his ragged breathing; she knew without a doubt how much he was hurting. Leaning slightly forward, she wrapped her arms around Riley's shoulders, hoping to convey the message that he wasn't alone. The two sat together like that in the wet grass for a long while before the silence was broken.
"I miss him so much," Riley said softly, the words almost getting lost in the light breeze.
"We both do," Abigail replied, squeezing the younger man slightly. "He was taken from us before he should have been."
Looking somberly at the tombstone of the man she considered a brother, Abigail spoke in a wavering tone.
"May angels lead you in, Ben Gates."
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
Riley broke himself away from Abigail's embrace to lean in and kiss the top of the tombstone. As he did so, the sun broke through the clouds, shining down on their little patch of earth. As the light warmed his damp jacket, Riley raised his eyes skyward, coming to a realization as he did so. Ben Gates may have left this Earth, but he would always have a place in Riley's heart.