Sometimes the taste of your lips is on the tip of tongue. The sound of your voice rings in my ears. My first love.
"Ritsu."
Thats the name.
Of the person he loves.
My first love, is in love with someone else.
"Hey! Wake up, don't sleep in the library."
"Hmm...it's you..."
"Masamune, you got a class in less than an hour get up."
"Geez, alright I'm getting up."
Lazily he shuffled to his feet and gave a good stretch.
"You sleep well?"
"Not exactly..."
"Bad dream?"
"Not bad persay...why?"
I was silent for a moment, dreading the words that left my lips.
"You said his name, in your sleep."
"I see..."
There was an awkward silence between us.
"Well, thanks for waking me up, I'm going to be heading off to my class."
He paused at the exit holding the door open, he smiled;
"You coming with?"
"Yeah..."
It was moments like this that killed me. The person I loved, my best friend, was in love with another person. A person who had rejected him years ago.
Unrequited love.
A term I understood quite too well. Me for him and him for someone I had never met before. Truth be told, I didn't know that much about the circumstances. It's not like he spent much time talking about it.
That's probably what drove me crazy about it the most.
Who exactly is this person? Why do you still love them? Were they really that great that you couldn't find someone to replace them?
But even I knew that those were stupid questions. It's not like you fall in love with someone because they're great. In fact I think it's probably the opposite. I fell in love with the part of you thats vulnerable. The part of you that begs to be saved.
Everyday I see you there's always that unbearable loneliness surrounding you.
It's like you're all alone...even though I'm right beside you.
But you hide that pain with your smile, you brush it off, act like it's nothing, your tough exterior blocks everyone away from your true feelings. Honestly when I met you seemed bullet-proof, almost nothing seemed to bug you, you were hard-working, didn't take any shit, you were calm but unafraid to pick a fight. Most people found you intimidating, you didn't help with your cold demeanor and sarcastic humor. Maybe thats why I was attracted to you, I was also like you. Cold, scary, misunderstood. And just as vulnerable inside I guess.
Behind this proud exterior are just two lonely, heart broken bastards.
I'm in love with you but I'm not the one you want. And the one you want, is long gone.
So here we are, walking to class together, with all of these unresolved feelings.