Sometimes, I would just sit there wondering how I got myself into this mess. Yet sometimes, I would question myself, was this really such a bad thing? Were the things I was doing really that horrible? The parties, drugs, and hookups; nothing that I couldn't get myself out of when ever I wanted to. Who am I kidding, I know they are awful but the thing is, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep having fun. I wanted to keep getting that release. Freedom from all of this pain. From the pain he left me with.
If someone asked me, I would say this whole thing started when I was at Jessica's house. We had been working on a project, when a friend of hers called. He, who's name I later found out was Jon, asked Jessica if she would be interested in coming over to his house. She eagerly accepted and I got dragged along.
When we arrived at Jon's house, I couldn't help but notice how messy the place was. But I honestly didn't care. I hadn't cared about much since he had left, so why should I care about the way some stranger chose to live their life.
The three of us talked for a while. About things such as previous lovers, hookups and what not. I had never really spoken with such a level of comfort about these topics with my other friends, but it felt so natural.
Soon enough, a few of Jon's friends came over. Jessica persuaded me to make out with one of them as she was doing. She told me it wouldn't mean anything and it was a great way to forget my troubles. I later found a better way to do this, but that's later on. So I did. And she was right, it didn't mean anything and I felt great afterwards. When I look back on it, I can' even remember what he looked like, much less his name.
I did this every weekend. Every time a new guy, every time I went just a bit further with them, every time digging a bigger hole for myself to climb out of. Parties, drugs and drinking soon followed. The rest is history. And the best part was, I didn't care. Not if I lived or died, not for my family, not for my friends, nothing. Because what was the point?
Since my existence was never coming back, why should I even bother?
"Hurry the fuck up!"
Dylan Moravia. My current dealer. My current life line.
He really was a great guy, great in bed too. Just some people don't see him the way I do. Dylan has had a tough life leading him to make some wrong decisions, but it didn't make him a bad person. Besides, he brought me to the best parties and got me some pretty good deals.
"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I ran out of the stinky town house that I had stayed in last night with the clothing I wore yesterday. Pretty gross if you ask me.
"That's my girl." He gave me a pop kiss and we climbed into his crappy little Honda.
"So what's up for today?" I asked as Dylan backed up from the drive way. All I knew was that we were headed to Seattle from our current location, Port Angeles.
"We're chilling with Bryan and some others. Jessica might be there too." I perked up. I hadn't seen Jessica since… I couldn't even remember, but last I heard she was dating Tyler from our old high school in Forks. We graduated from two years ago. "Oh, I forgot to give this to you." Dylan said as he handed me a small baggie with six small white pills. I immediately recognized what they were and popped them into my mouth.
I laid my head against the seat and got ready for the best feeling I knew to overcome me.
AN: Well that's it for now. This is my first Twilight story and before I begin to write longer chapters, I would like to know what everyone thinks of this one. Please leave a review, or you can just be like heeyyy or what ever you want. It's all cool.