Author's Note: Non-canon, alternate universe-y whatever. It's not strictly canon, that's for sure. This is my first fic ever, so be nice! :D I've always wanted to see a Harry/Luna fic that's hella sexy, so I'm hoping this will fill my needs. Basically complete smut, lol. Since there is no category on for plain ol' smut, I had to stick it under angst/romance, so if smut's not your thing, please don't bother! I don't want to offend anyone's sensitivities. I hope it is as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write!

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Harry Potter (though I wish I did). This is a fic I wrote for fun! :)

Harry Potter was having an erection. It was a bad time for one, too. He was in the middle of Herbology class with the Ravenclaws, trimming leaves off a Stiltwinged Stubnut, and trying to conceal his raging boner.

His partner, Luna Lovegood, was sporting an outrageous outfit as usual. She had brought out a huge yellow sweater with bees dangling on the sleeves, and it had been Charmed to buzz whenever someone walked by.

Unfortunately for Harry, it was a hot day in early September, and Luna had shed her sweater as soon as she entered the steamy greenhouse. Now she was only covered by a pair of jeans and a light colored camisole. Harry could see her breasts every time she leaned across the table to trim the Stubnut. He had never noticed before, but Luna actually had an amazing rack. Her tits were perfectly round, plump, and luscious…and Harry suddenly longed to touch them, to slip his hand down her camisole and cup her breasts in his firm hands. He blushed at the thought, and the hardness in his pants became even more excruciating as he thought about teasing her nipples with his tongue.

"What the hell am I doing?" Harry thought. "Luna's strange, she talks about Snorkacks and shit. I'm not supposed to be fantasizing about her."

He sighed and Luna looked up.

"What's wrong, Harry? Did a Freckle-Pratt crawl in your ear?" She began waving her arms at Harry's head, causing her boobs to jiggle around. Harry groaned.

"No, Luna, it's okay. Really. I was just thinking about my…detention with Snape tonight," he covered quickly. "Not looking forward to de-sliming slugs by hand, urgh."

Luna looked thoughtful. "Daddy says slugs are slimy because they used to be fish and they like to feel like they are still swimming around. He uses their slime as lotion sometimes before he goes for a swim."

This disgusting topic of conversation caused Harry to picture Luna's dad's legs covered in slimy hair, and his boner immediately died. He was grateful, although it made his stomach turn.

Luna looked sad for a moment. "I almost wish I would get detention sometime, so at least I'd have something to do in the evenings."

Harry felt sorry for Luna, having no real friends of her own. He cleared his throat. "Uhm, Luna. Are you busy tomorrow evening?"

"No, Harry, I never have any plans at all aside from classes and homework."

Harry was frankly amazed at Luna's lack of a social life, considering her sizable breasts. He thought for sure every guy in school would wank to the sight of them, once they realized Luna was a girl, of course.

"Then how would you like to go out drinking with Hermione, Ron and me?" he asked.

"That sounds lovely, of course I'll dress up and everything." Luna smiled softly with crazy eyes.

"Great," Harry gave a genuine smile. He really did enjoy Luna's company, although he thought she was sort of weird. He just hoped his sudden intense attraction to her wouldn't ruin the night he had planned with his friends.