Episode One: The Mysterious Soldier
Location: Somewhere, Someplace, Sometime, in a small deliberation room.
Trollerjak, the Troll incarnation of Enerjak is discussing his master plan to the other officers, Prime Minister Hamza Zahid, Army Coordinator Kaze, Tank Legion Lord Godzilla, Secret Police Chief Dillon, Chief Medic Gucci, and Propaganda Minister Joshua.
Trollerjak: Alright, so now that we're all clear on the plan...
Godzilla: Can you repeat that?
Everyone at once: UGGGHH!
Godzilla: What? I'm all the way up here, I can barely hear you.
Trollerjak: Hamza, you remember the plan, right?
Hamza: As army Commander, that is my duty.
Trollerjak: Good. Explain it to him.
Hamza: Alright. We take over NK, Then the unused parts of Russia, take China, and move all over Europe and Asia, from there we take over Africa, and move North to Canada. Do we HAAAVE to invade Canada?
Trollerjak: Well they're nice people, right?
Hamza: We have our share of rude people.
Dillon: Ok, when do we catch political opponents?
Kaze: And what about our fishing business? And will we leave Kats alone?
Gucci: Why me... Oh well...
Gucci smiles as she pulls out a whoopie cushion.
Godzilla: What about Japan?
Hamza: Let's leave Pakistan alone too! In fact, we'll leave the entire mid-
Trollerjak: EVERYONE BE QUIET! Hamza! Nobody cares about those countries. And we already agreed there would be freedom of religion.
Hamza: But...
Trollerjak: And Dillon! We will purge the commies, Nazis, and Cons, just as soon as we take them over!
Dillon: Alright... Fine...
Trollerjak: Kaze, you're not a Kat!
Kaze: HIIISSSSSS! Oh hey is that a rat?!
Kaze chases the Rat.
Trollerjak: Gucci, control your ass pranks!
Gucci: Ha! You said a-
Trollerjak: Shut the $&# up Gucci!
Godzilla: Well that was...
Trollerjak: Don't even get me started on you...
Godzilla: But Japan!
Trollerjak: We will take all the anime...
Everyone at once: No!
Trollerjak: And watch it...
Everyone gasps
Joshua walks in
Joshua: Sir, everyone outside is waiting for you, they're starting to riot!
Trollerjak: Not if I have anything to say about it... Where the hell is Von Shetler
Joshua: Sir, he's late.
Trollerjak: Uggh, I don't have time for his late Bavarian ass!
Joshua: Sir, he's Austrian
Trollerjak: Who cares! They're all German!
Joshua: Yes, but in two separate countries.
Trollerjak: Well when I'm done with them. There won't be a Germany or an Austria. Only a Trollia...
Hamza: Couldn't you come up with a better name?
Trollerjak: Working on it Ham Boy.
Meanwhile, outside the deliberation room.
Soldier 1: Where's the Emperor!
Soldier 2: I bet he's a chicken!
Trollerjak jumps out from backstage in a rage.
Trollerjak: WHO DARRESS CALL ME A CHICKEN?!
Total silence.
Then a soldier comes forward
Soldier 2: I did.
Trollerjak's face drops, clearly indicating he wasn't having any of it with the insubordinate soldier.
Trollerjak: Prepare for execution. KHAOS BEAM CANNON!
A beam of Khaotic energy fires at the soldier, causing all light surround it to invert in color.
KAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The smoke slowly clears, and everyone realizes in horror of what just happened.
The Soldier blocked the beam.
Hamza: What the hell! What is that?
Kaze: Everyone, get out your weapons!
Soldier 2: Muahahaha...
Trollerjak: Identify yourself!
Soldier 2: My name is Adolf... Hitler
It took Trollerjak a few seconds, 5.698 to be exact to finally take in what just happened.
Trollerjak: What!
Soldier 2: But you can call me... Rudolf... Von Shetler
Hamza: Naw... Hitler has the whole mini-stache.
Kaze: And shorter
Dillon: Not to mention more hideous. Even by Von Shetler's standards.
Godzilla: RAAAAWWWWRR!
Trollerjak: You said it GZ.
Von Shetler: Piss off you guys!
Von Shetler pulls out his arms he used to block the blast, revealing a platinum Gaunlet.
Trollerjak immediately realizes what Von Shetler had on his arm.
Trollerjak: The Gaunlet of the Arc? Where did you get that?
Von Shetler: That's classified.
Trollerjak: Not surprised, you totalitarian scum.
Von Shetler: You say I'm a totalitarian, but... So are you.
Trollerjak: Unlike you, I don't wish to conquer every aspect of people's lives. And I certainly don't want to wipe out the Jews. I mean, I NEED the theory of relativity to...
Von Shelter: Conquer the world using atom bombs? Hahaha...
Von Shetler looks down with a smile on his face.
...I was the Chancellor of Germany under you... but now I wish to go further.
Trollerjak: Let me guess... Fourth Reich
Von Shelter: How the hell do you keep finding this out!
Joshua: Quite obvious
Hamza: Indeed
Kaze: You're kinda obvious, or that's just my Kat sense.
Dillon: Sir, may I purge the Nazis? It'll be so much fun...
Trollerjak: What's you're plan then? You're surrounded by my greatest armed forces.
All of Trollerjak's forces pull out weapons against Von Shetler.
Von Shelter: Very simple really. You see... I'm not actually here..
Trollerjak: Oh really? Hi "not actually here".
The entire room bursts out laughing.
This angers the Fuhrer.
Von Shelter: Stay with me. You see, I'm merely a holographic projection.
Trollerjak: Then how...
Von Shelter: My gaunlet is real though. That's how I'm projecting this message to you. As soon as this message is over, it will come back to me. You see... I'm challenging you to a duel. We will fight over control of Earth on all fronts. Winner rules the world. And the loser... Well... You'll find out...
Trollerjak: Oh, really? You and what army?
Von Shelter: It's very simple, really. All of Germany and Austria are now under my control.
Trollerjak: No...
Von Shelter: Yes...
Trollerjak: No, I mean no, you won't win. I mean come on... Omnipotence?
Von Shelter: I'm aware of this. But you won't risk wiping out an entire two countries. Not to mention, my gaunlet evensSo... Come and find me.
Trollerjak: You're in Berlin, Germany.
Von Shelter: No! You're not supposed to know that!
Trollerjak: Seriously? It's either that, or Munich.
Von Shelter: Just play along and listen! I'm going to attack North Korea. Can't stand those stupid Commies... $&# Kim Jong Un.
Trollerjak: So you wanna fight over it?
Von Shelter: Of course, and before I forget, Italy and Japan are on my side. We call ourselves the Raxus powers.
Godzilla: NOT MY HOME TOWN!
Von Shetler: Indeed. Well, I must be going. Good luck. Even with your omnipotence, you'll need it...
Von Shetler disappears.
Trollerjak: Well then... You heard him! We march on North Korea! And we will stop them from taking the world! You hear me!...
All soldiers cheer.
...We leave now! Troll Empire Troops, Let's go!
All Troops take off. Except for one.
The last officer leaves the deliberation room.
Gucci: Uhh guys? Where are you guys?