A/N: Hey guys. Once again my brain thought it was fun to write some Emison fanfic instead of doing my thesis. So, here you go. A bit AU, but I hope you enjoy it. Please bear in mind that English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake you might find.
She looked at the little boy a few feet away from her, sitting on a swing and being pushed by a woman in her early twenties. The little boy seemed to be having the time of his life, giggling and swinging his legs every time the woman pushed a little bit more. "Higher! Higher!" she heard the little blond boy ask the woman. She couldn't help but smile, as his bright blue eyes shone as he went up higher, within the safety limits of course.
As she turned her attention back to the laptop in front of her, so she could continue to write her future novel, with the delightful giggles of the tiny almost-4-year-old, she couldn't help but think that, despite everything she had went through, she was immensely lucky.
Her story had not been an easy one, far from it, actually. But she always had that one person that had helped her through everything, and that had made it much easier to bear. But, maybe it would be better to start from the beginning. That fateful day when everything in her life had changed.
As soon as she saw her, she knew something was incredibly wrong. Her voice on the phone call she had received barely 10 minutes ago couldn't even begin to describe the so broken and sad tear stained face the girl in front of her presented. Emily's heart broke into thousands of pieces when she laid eyes on the girl that had become her first love. She felt tears coming to her eyes and felt physically sick watching the state the poor girl was in.
When she picked up the call earlier she would never fathom that she would be greeted with sobs and a small whisper of "I need you". Emily didn't even think. As soon as she hung up, she got into her car and drove as fast as she could. The distance between her house and Alison's never seemed as gigantic as it did now. She could only think about her best friend and a million scenarios were going through her head as a reason for the state Alison was in. But never in her life would she have thought that this could have happened to Alison.
"Ali?" Emily approached the girl seated on the floor with her knees put closely against her chest. The girl looked up and Emily's heart broke again. She kneeled down to Alison's level and went to touch the girl's hands to remove them from her knees, when the blonde girl flinched and pulled her knees impossibly closer to herself. "Hey, hey, it's me, princess. What's wrong, Ali? Tell me", she begged. Emily, once again, tried to reach for the girl's hands and was successful this time, the girl allowing Emily to touch her. As soon as their skin made contact with each other, the barely smaller girl instantly jumped into Emily's lap and Emily embraced her with all the power and love she could put into the hug and let the girl cry in her arms, stroking the side of her head that was not securely located against her chest.
"It's okay, baby. I've got you. Everything's going to be alright", Emily reassured. She began to gently rock them back and forth, so she could calm the 18-year-old in her lap. "Shhh, everything's going to be okay. I'm here. Shh".
After what seemed like an eternity of Emily whispering soothing words into Alison's ears and kissing her right temple repeatedly, the girl appeared to be calming down, her sobs subsiding, leaving only a few whimpers to be heard. She tried to gently push the girl from her chest as to look her in the eyes, but as soon as she moved, Alison held on to her like she was holding on for dear life. "Sweetheart, what happened? I won't let you go, but you have to try and tell me what's wrong, however difficult it may be. I need to understand so I can help you, Ali". Alison finally looked up at her and Emily thought she had never seen the girl look so small and so helpless. Alison's eyes started to get watery once again, "Sshh, shh, it's okay. Please don't cry", Emily could not stand to see her best friend cry, it made her heart tighten with pain.
Alison couldn't seem to figure out how to produce sounds let alone words. All she knew in that moment was that she was finally safe in her best friend's arms. There she knew nothing bad would happen to her and she truly wished they could stay in the terrace forever. She didn't understand what she'd done to deserve what had happened to her. She couldn't understand how someone she had trusted for so many years had done this to her. She felt sick to her stomach. She felt dirty. She felt unworthy of living. Her heart was physically aching. He had ripped everything from her. How could he? The boy she had shared part of her teenage years with had broken her. He had violated her in the most disgusting way.
"Alison?" Emily was looking at her, not forcing anything but wanting to understand what had happened. But how could she put into words what had taken place a few hours ago? She knew Emily would chase him down and kill him as soon as she knew. She knew she had always been too protective of her, and Alison loved that about Emily. She would not allow anyone to hurt her and get away with it and somehow Alison wished Emily would really make his life a living hell or even end it. "He…" Emily's head was running a hundred miles an hour. He? Who was he?
"Babe, who is he? James?" Alison shook her head. No, James would never do such thing; he was the most pure hearted person she knew besides Emily and he had been her first love. "Noel?" and Emily could only watch as Ali flinched and started crying again. What had that bastard, son of a bitch, done to her? "Sweetheart, did he hurt you?" Alison nodded, snuggling up to her and Emily saw red. .He. She knew from the first time she saw him that he didn't seem to be what he appeared. She had disliked him ever since, and apparently she was right, "Did he..." Emily couldn't get the words out. If she said them out loud, it would make all of it real and she was not sure she could handle it. But she had to make sure she knew what was happening, "did he force himself on you?" and her heart was trying to escape her chest, beating as fast as it possibly could.
Exactly there and then, Alison broke all over again. She sobbed into Emily's arms, and Emily herself had tears streaming down her face. How could he? She didn't deserve this. Sure she was no saint, but no one deserved something like this. Emily was going to fucking kill Noel.
"Ali, hey. You're going to get through this. We're getting through this. I'm here for you. You know I'll protect you to the ends of the Earth", Alison looked into Emily's eyes and nodded. She knew she was safe as long as she was with Emily "Do you want to go to the hospital? You'll have to take tests. I know this is overwhelming but I need to be practical about this. We need to get his fucking ass in jail", Alison shook her head. She had already gone through too much. She just wanted to forget and she knew Noel would never dare to come back or touch her again. "Alison…" Emily started, "He can't get away with it. You have to…"
"NO! I don't want to talk to a bunch of other people about this. I just want to forget. I don't want to see him ever again and I don't want to drag this in court and have everyone know what happened. I want to forget!" she yelled at Emily and instantly regretted it. Emily deserved anything but to be yelled at. She understood Alison's wishes, "I know, princess. We won't do anything you don't want. I won't insist". Alison smiled sadly.
"He found out that I slept with James. I don't know how he found out but he did. He showed up and pinned me against the wall so hard", by now her sobs had slowed and she knew she had to tell Emily what had happened, no matter how difficult it would be. But she knew she could trust Emily. Alison knew she wouldn't judge. She took a deep breath. "Take as long as you need, Ali", Emily offered. Alison smiled, this girl was an angel sent from heaven.
"He… he said that I was a slut. That I made him wait for a year, that he had waited patiently for me to be ready to give myself to him and that in just a few weeks of having broken up with I had already gone and fucked James", tears were still in her eyes. The same eyes filled with both rage and disgust. The same eyes that were once so electric and happy. The same eyes that now presented so much pain and numbness. Emily hugged Alison close to her chest once again. "How could he have done this, Em? He used to be so sweet and caring and gentle. How did he turn into this monster?" She truly wanted answers and unfortunately Emily had none. Nothing could justify such actions. All she could do was comfort Alison.
"I don't know, baby. I really don't", she shook her head, "We should leave. It's getting really cold. I suppose you don't want to go back to your house for now, right?" Alison nodded; she didn't want to be back to the place where it happened. She knew she'd have to go there eventually, but not now. Not when everything was so clear in her mind.
"You're coming with me, and you'll spend the whole weekend there. Give me your keys and I'll go inside to grab your stuff and some clothing. Do you want to take a bath?" she looked at Alison questioningly.
"I've taken three showers since… I felt so dirty", Alison informed her. Emily only nodded, she understood.
They both got up from the floor, Emily supporting Alison, who was clearly very weak, and headed to the latter's house's back entrance. Emily grabbed what Alison had asked for, and soon they were in Emily's house and she was setting up Alison's bed beside hers.
None of Emily's parents dared to question anything when they saw Alison and the state she was in. She's going to stay here for the weekend, is that okay? Emily had asked her parents, who just nodded. If you need anything let us know. Emily's caring and selfless character had to come from somewhere and that was why Alison loved Emily's parents.
When they went to get changed, Emily noticed Alison was a bit uncomfortable and so she left the room for a few moments, coming back after a while and knocking.
"You can come in", Emily heard Alison say and slowly walked back into her bedroom. Alison was dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants, not leaving much of her body exposed, and stood looking at the floor length mirror, with her arms crossed over her chest in a protective gesture.
Emily gave her some space and went to lie down on her own bed, getting lost in her own thoughts about how she should deal with the situation, wondering what she could do to make Alison feel better, until she felt a pressure on the end of her bed. Alison was seated there, looking at her pleadingly and somehow Emily understood, as she always seemed to. Alison dared to think that no one knew her like Emily did. Emily moved to one side of her bed and moved the covers a bit and Alison allocated herself on Emily's bed, like she had done a few other times when her life wasn't going very well. Emily was surprised when the girl snuggled up to her, and she carefully and slowly put her arm around Alison and pulled her against her chest after making sure Alison was okay with it. Neither could sleep that night.
-/-
"My own parents don't believe me, Em! How can they defend him so bad!", When Alison thought things couldn't get any worse, her own parents, her own blood, refused to believe that goody-two-shoes, saint Noel would ever be able to do that. Alison, the boy loves you, how could he have done that? We know that you like that other boy, but he'll get you nowhere in life, honey. Noel has a good family and he's a great boy. You just can't make stuff like that up so you can be with James. Alison couldn't even look her mother in the face after she heard her say that.
Yes, Alison had been in love with James. He was her first love, her first everything. When James broke up with her, he told her it was for the best, but he never fully told her the motive behind his decision, and she almost hated him afterwards for what he did. It was only a few months ago after meeting him one day at a common friend's party that he told her everything. How he didn't feel like he was worthy of her and her family. How their families had completely different backgrounds due to the fact that his parents were in the fishing business and hers had a college education and well paid and notable jobs. She had called him stupid time and time again. She loved him then and she would never care for his family's background. In fact, she loved his parents. And she couldn't care less if he lived under a fucking bridge. She was a wreck during few weeks after they broke up and, curiously, Emily had been by her side. But soon she realized they weren't meant to be, that it had been the magic of a first love and they had remained good friends until this day.
After a while, Noel showed up and seemed like he had Alison under a spell, as Emily often put it. They dated for a while until a certain night, when Alison started noticing Emily, as in really noticing. Seeing how beautiful and caring and loyal Emily was. That same night she began to question how real her feelings towards Noel were. She had talked to Spencer who, as usual, put things into perspective and helped Alison come to the conclusion that she didn't have any feelings for Noel. She eventually broke up with Noel and had explained that she didn't think he deserved anything else than someone who truly loved him with all their heart, and she wasn't that person. He had not taken it lightly, he asked her to rethink her decision. He's got nothing; he's only messing with your head. How come are you saying this after two years of being with me? He broke your heart three years ago. And now what? You just forgive and forget like that? If only he knew this wasn't because of James… She told him it was the best for the both of them. That if she continued with him, they would be forcing something that would not get anywhere.
He stormed off and she never saw him again. That was a month ago. She then came to the conclusion that she had feelings towards her best friend since kindergarten. She had been feeling safer with Emily. She had been feeling happier. She had been feeling something different but she didn't know how to deal with those feelings. That's what made her seek solace with James. She tried to reconnect with him so that those feelings would go away. She was Alison DiLaurentis for God's sake. And as much as Emily was her friend, she couldn't be in love with a girl. But she soon understood that nothing would make those feelings for Emily go away when making love to James had been completely meaningless to her. Somehow Noel found out she had been with James, Alison never found out how, and he ended up doing the terrible thing he had done to her.
-/-
She was sick and tired of being sick and tired every freaking day and it was really getting on her nerves. She had been nauseous and dizzy constantly. This had been happening for about a month. In the beginning she truly thought it was just a cold. Or maybe it was from the stress of the finals of that first semester of sophomore year. But she didn't know how much more of it she could take.
"You look like shit", Emily informed her with a playful smile lingering in her lips as she got to Alison's house that morning to check up on her and her studies.
"Oh, you don't say? I did not just look myself in the mirror to see my zombie-like face. Nor did I just throw up the breakfast I had just finished eating. But thank you for your sympathy. I love you too".
Emily went to her and kissed her. "You should go to the doctor. This has been going on for more than what? A month, now?".
Yes, after all the support Emily gave Alison in that month, Alison had accepted that her feelings towards Emily wouldn't go away, they were only growing stronger. She seemed to believe that those feelings had been there longer than she had acknowledged, but only now did she notice them. She also knew that Emily had some kind of more-than-friendship feelings for her, and so she decided to confess everything to Emily on an alcohol filled night. God dammit, I'm so in love with you and you don't even dream of it. She had supposedly thought that night, but it only registered that she had said that out loud when she heard Emily's voice of shock. Please tell me you aren't kidding when you say that. Alison didn't respond, she just closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Emily ever so softly. Since that day, they had been taking things slowly seeing that Alison was still very much uncomfortable and affected by everything that had happened. But she was getting there.
Alison nodded, "I actually thought it was because of PMS 'cause sometimes it used to happen, but I haven't had my period yet." Emily's face was drained of blood exactly then and there.
"Em, I'm the one who is supposed to be sick. Not you. Stop taking away my spotlight", she chuckled and was quite surprised Emily didn't join in.
"Alison, how long ago were you supposed to have your period?" she questioned her and Alison's laughter subsided. Emily looked at her and could tell she was trying to do some math to know how late she was.
"I'm almost 3 weeks late", Alison informed. "I was supposed to get it a little after IT happened". Emily was starting to get worried, if this meant what she thought it did, it would not be good news at all.
"We have to buy you a pregnancy test and we need to get you to the doctor as soon as possible", she told Alison, whose eyes went wide and mouth agape. She started shaking her head, "No. No. No no no no. This cannot be happening. Em, it just can't be happening". Emily grabbed Alison's hands and forced her to establish eye contact, "We can't be sure of anything. It could be the stress you went through these past weeks, but we have to make sure, princess, we need—",
"But if I really am?", Alison's eyes filled with tears. She was 18 years old, she had been raped by that scumbag asshole and now she could be pregnant and the only good thing was that it was impossible for the child to be Noel's seeing that he was unable to have children.
"If you are, we'll get through it. I'll be here every step of the way. You know that! And you will decide what you want to do. But first we have to make sure. I'll go down to the pharmacy and I'll get you one or two tests to make sure, okay? You'll be okay on your own or do you want to come with?" she asked Alison.
"Would you mind if I stayed here? I know I should go with you, but I don't know if I can…", Alison looked pleadingly to her girlfriend who just nodded, "I offered to pick them up for you, you don't have the obligation to go, princess. I'll be back in 10". Emily went to grab her wallet but Alison stopped her. "Don't you even dare thinking about it. My tests, I pay", Emily just smiled, grabbed her wallet in a ninja-like move, kissed Alison's forehead as she usually did and fled the apartment. Alison shook her head. That girl was impossible and Alison couldn't even comprehend how she got so lucky to have a friend like Emily. She knew Emily would do anything she could for her. Her girlfriend was something else. God, it was still so weird to call her that, but it felt so good.
Not even ten minutes had passed when Emily knocked on the door. Alison rushed to open it and let Emily in. She was nervous, very nervous. She didn't know what she would do if those tests came out positive. On the bright side she had Emily by her side and the girl would always put things into perspective and calmed her down. It was an art she had mastered: how to calm down Alison when she has breakdowns.
-/-
Alison came out of her daydream when she felt tiny hands pull her sweater. "Hi baby, did you have fun with mama?" she asked her son as she lifted him up and sat him on her lap. The little boy smiled and nodded, "Yeah! Mama pushed me so high! Did you see it, mommy?"
Alison smiled, "I did baby. You were almost touching the sky!" the blond cutie nodded eagerly and tried to get out of his mommy's lap to go play in his sand box. She kissed his cheek and finally let him go. "Be careful and please don't eat any sand, Phillip".
She felt two arms snake around her waist and she turned her head to the side, only to be greeted with the most adoring chocolate brown eyes, "You know he likes it better when you call him Pip". Alison nodded, "Yeah, I know. But he needed to realize I was being serious. He needs to stop eating sand!"
Emily shook her head and smiled at her girlfriend, "He's a kid, let him be". Alison was overly protective of their son, so sometimes Emily needed to lighten things up a bit, but she knew Alison was only like that because she didn't want anything to happen to Pip. She had lost too much already in her 23 years of life, the biggest blow being James' death in a car accident when she was only two months pregnant, and Emily understood that. She sat by her girlfriend and pulled Alison to her lap, hugging her tightly as she noticed Alison's attention drifting to somewhere else.
For that whole dark year of her life, Alison felt that her world had been ripped away from her. But it had gotten her here. And she truly knew how lucky she was. In her girlfriend's arms, with the most amazing son anyone could ask for and a second book almost ready to be published, she couldn't help but agree with the saying 'every cloud has a silver lining'. Her life had had too many clouds in so little time but, every time, the silver linings ended up being better that she could have expected.
A/N: I really hope you enjoyed it. Please, if you want, leave a review. Constructive criticism is always good! ;)