AN: Hey guys. This totally came to me when I was about to go to sleep and I just couldn't help myself. Will do my best to be fast with the updates...don't I always...*smiles*
Disclaimer : I do not own Rizzoli and Isles, or make any money from the story.
Jane thought she may have been in the middle of some strange dream. Sure feels real, she thought to herself. The detective foolishly pulled the door shut, backed a few steps away, then approached the door with great caution again. Slowly, she opened it and gave the room a once over, more careful this time around. Nope, still the same she said to herself.
It was October, and the pending Boston winter had no mercy on its citizens. Maura, it turned out, was 'hot-blooded'. The blonde doctor obviously had some elaborate explanation she could give in more precise medical terminology. Jane however, preferred to just go with 'hot-blooded'. Around 4am Jane usually found herself covered in goose bumps. Maura had a tendency of kicking the covers off during the course of the night, leaving Jane shivering with the winter cold on the nights she stayed over - which were many.
So this particular night the sharp detective had decided to make a contingency plan. She thought it wise to toss an extra blanket on her side of the floor, which she could in the middle of the night, pick up and wrap herself around when her sleeping companion had kicked aside the warm and heavy duvet. Little did she know that her late night innocent plan was going to lead her into uncovering the most peculiar of things.
Maura was in the master bedroom going through her lengthy nightly ritual as usual. It was a little after 11pm and Jane had just finished locking up when she thought of this extra blanket thing. So here she was, standing at the door of one of the four bedrooms occupying Maura's house. It was a spare bedroom that was never used, as far as Jane knew. Twice only had she ever entered that room. The first time was when she had visited Maura's home for the first time and the good doctor had given her a tour of the place. The second and last time, excluding this unfortunate incident, was when Angela moved into Maura's guest house. The elder Rizzoli's things had not been properly sorted into the guesthouse and they figured she'd be more comfortable in the main house for her first night. Jane had entered that room and retrieved an extra pillow from the impeccably spread bed upon Maura's instructions. That's when she'd noticed the neatly arranged blankets that she was in search of this particular night.
To Jane's amazement however, the room was set up completely different this time around. She couldn't even find the vocabulary to define what was before her eyes. Had it been anyone else's house, it wouldn't have been so daunting, but this was Maura.
There in the room lay a white-set twin sized bed, with a matching bed frame and dressing table and chest of drawers. The bed was spread with a pink super girly duvet and an about eight-pillow decoration set. On one side of the wall was the largest 'One Direction' poster she had ever seen, and to her horror, a board cut out figure of one young lad named Harry. The book shelf already held a few neatly arranged books and the dressing table was semi covered in 'One Direction' memorabilia. Or whatever you call it, she thought to herself. The room was no doubt set up for a girl between the ages of eight to about thirteen, who was most definitely not just passing by. Nope, this looks a little long-term, she said to herself once again.
''What the fuck!'', this was said aloud this time. She was finally coming out of her initial shock and wanting some damn answers. She strode determinedly to Maura's bedroom, extra blanket all but forgotten.
''Is there something you forgot to tell me'', she jumped right into it. Maura was contently walking out of her ensuite and clearly heading to her side of the bed.
''Excuse me?'', Maura didn't miss the accusation in Jane's tone.
''Is there something you would like to tell me?'', she asked again. Not caring to choose different words or elaborate.
''I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean Jane. Care to be more specific'', Maura was using her jocular tone, oblivious to what Jane had witnessed.
''Are you expecting a guest?''
There was a pause, in which Maura realized Jane had walked into the room.
Maura situated herself quietly on the bed, trying, and failing to find the appropriate explanation to offer Jane. The normally impatient detective was leaning against the door frame, waiting 'patiently' for her best friend to speak up. It was moments like these that Maura desperately wished Jane's impatience would win her over. Unfortunately for her, now wasn't one of those times.
''Jane….'', she said carefully. She was in deep fear of saying the wrong thing. Its not like she had really done anything that wrong. ''Keep telling yourself that'', she heard Jane's voice in her head. ''I was going to talk to you about that''
''When?''
''When I was ready Jane, I just didn't know how to tell you this'', Maura spoke softly. Jane knew that was her placating tone. She wasn't having it.
''Are you ready now'', she raised her eyebrows at the blonde, daring her to answer in the negative.
''Not exactly'', seems Maura was just as stubborn.
''You know what? Forget it. Don't tell me. Its not like I matter right? What is it my concern who choose to have come live with you. I'm only the best friend right'', Jane spoke this as if she was ok with everything, but there she was collecting her gun and badge, making a move to leave.
''Jane, where are you going?''
''I have my own place you know''. Now that came out bitterly. ''Sorry Maur. Didn't mean it like that. I'm just going to go over to my apartment. Don't worry about it''.
Jane was clever. This was her way of getting things out of the doctor when the woman didn't want to speak up. She would guilt trip her and threaten to leave. It was mean, she knew it. But it was done with love, no – for love. She wanted to be in every part of Maura's life, and she wanted to contribute, and help wherever and whenever. And every time she was left out of the loop by Maura, even for one afternoon, she felt irrationally hurt, just like she did now.
Maura was also clever. She knew Jane's antiques. And when the guilt trips began, she indulged her only because she wanted to. It could be argued that Jane knew this too. It was really a case of what came first, the egg or the chicken? Nevertheless, Maura indulged her as always. She couldn't keep it a secret forever anyway. At some point she was going to have to tell Jane. Maybe it was better to be ambushed now, that to mule over it all night long and still not find the right words to say.
''Please sit with me'', she motioned for Jane to take her usual side of the bed so they could converse. Jane did so.
''I wasn't entirely honest with you''
''No kidding'', Jane bit out. She didn't know why she was being so mad about this.
LIE….She knew. She just didn't want to say it, or think it.
''No, Jane. I mean to say that, I wasn't honest with you from the very beginning. As in, from the time we met''
Warning bells of all sorts were going off in Jane's head. She didn't even want to begin to guess.
''What didn't you tell me? That you have of kid or something'', Jane said sarcastically.
Woops…..soft spot. Maura didn't answer.
''Holy shit! Fuck Maur! DO YOU HAVE A KID?'', Jane practically jumped off the bed.
''Jane….will you please calm down'', Maura pleaded.
''CALM DOWN? YOU HAVE A FUCKING CHILD MAURA. AND YOU NEVER THOUGH TO MENTION IT ALL. THESES. YEARS…THAT WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS'', Jane yelled at the top of her voice. She was almost sure her mother had heard her from the guest house.
''Can you please stop swearing Jane, its really unnecessary''. This got her to calm down – just a little bit though. ''sit down Jane so I can explain properly''
''Boy do I wanna hear what you have to say''
''It's…''
''Oh God please don't tell me its with Ian'', Jane cut off. Looking utterly destroyed. Maura was taken aback a little bit. It hadn't ever occurred to her that having a child with Ian could devastate Jane to such a degree. It was common knowledge Jane despised the man, rightfully so. Maura just hadn't known it wasn't just dislike, but hurt as well. For a fraction of a second, regardless of the circumstances, she allowed herself to imagine that Jane may actually harbour the same feelings she had for the brunette.
''No Jane, its not with Ian''
''So-''
''Let me explain this from the beginning Jane, so you may fully understand''
''Ok'', Jane took in a deep breath, as if she were about to dive into a swimming pool.
''Her name is Joyleen Yolanda Bellamy and she's 12'', Maura had no idea why she started off there. It seemed it was the only fact to her whole story and the only thing she could safely say with complete honesty.
''Wow'', was all Jane could say. Talk about bomb shells.
''She is living in France with her mother''
''Fuck'', Jane was making a move to leave again. She wasn't sure what she expected to hear, but this certainly wasn't it. MOTHER?
''Jane, please let me tell you. I have been trying to say this for the past four years I've known you but it just could never make it out of my mouth''
''If she wasn't coming here were you ever going to tell me?'', Jane tapped her foot to the floor impatiently.
''No'', Maura couldn't lie, even if she wanted to.
Jane walked away briskly, and Maura had to run to catch up with her long strides.
''Jane wait. Why are you so mad with me?''
''Because Maura. These are the types of things you tell your best friend ok. I understand that you have never really had friends but come on. This should be general knowledge. How do you think it makes me feel, after four years of a rel-, friendship'', she caught herself pretty fast. Maura didn't miss it, but chose to let it go for now, it really wasn't the time for that. ''how do you think I feel learning after all this time that my best friend has a daughter? A fucking twelve year old daughter. What the hell Maura?''
They were downstairs at this point and Angela, with her eagle ears, couldn't let the yelling slide.
''Jane, why are you shouting like that?'', Angela barrelled through the kitchen door.
''Jesus Christ'', Jane muttered under her breath. Her brain was filled with the name Jane going round and round in circles. Maura had said it at least ten times now, and here her mother was again, piling on. She wished they would all just stop saying Jane at the beginning of every sentence. And it frustrated her more that in the midst of Maura's revelations, this tiny little irrelevant detail was nagging her. ''Now is so not the time Ma. I don't wanna say something I will regret, please just leave''. Maura nodded to Angela as well. She really didn't want the situation escalating any further that it already had.
''Fine. But could you please keep it down. The whole block can hear you'', with that Angela left. She truly sensed they were having a very serious discussion, and her nosey ass knew better than to stay.
''I'm sorry isn't going to be enough to appease you right now Jane. But I think it would be fair if you at least let me explain the situation''
''Sorry'', she mumbled.
''Its rather cold. Do you mind if we go back and finish this conversation in bed?''
''Stupid cold''
''Huh?'', Jane hadn't realized she spoke out loud until Maura had spoken back to her.
''Stupid cold is what got me in this mess'', she waved her hand an nothing in particular.
''I don't understand''
''I was looking for an extra blanket because you always kick the duvet off. And I went into your spare bedroom….'', she let it trail off, knowing Maura got the gist of it.
''I'm sorry''. The blonde wasn't sure if she was apologizing for kicking the covers, or for keeping a secret.
Anyway, they amicably walked back to the master bedroom. To have a conversation Jane wanted so much to hear, and not at all, at the same time. She knew where her rage stemmed from. There was not really a logical reason for a simple best friend to lose their mind to such an extent. And she was experiencing much more than just rage, and it angered her even more. She hated how Maura brought out the extremes of all her emotions. Positive or negative. It just left her vulnerable and helpless, and she loathed it. Worse still, there was nothing she could do about all those feelings. Its not even like making them know will make anything better, if anything, it will make all those emotions the more prominent.
They settled back into their positions on the bed, each sitting as stiff as a board.
''Will you let me continue now?''
''Yes'', Jane rasped.
''I am sure I won't find the most suitable sequence of events, and I may miss some things, or not explain properly. Forgive me. This is a conversation I rather wish I didn't have to ever have''
''It's ok. I am sorry for being an ass Maur. You know I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to handling certain things''
''I know''. This at least lighten the moods and brought about a bit of laughter.
Maura then cleared her throat, and began to explain to her best friend….
AN: Ooooohhh, Maura's keeping secrets.