AN: Hello, everyone. So, I shouldn't be starting another story, but I got this idea and it wouldn't leave. Therefore, I'm going to do it. It's another Neverland (I'm re-watching season 3 right now) related one, and I'm certain there's something like it out there, but I haven't read all of them, so... In this story, they still use Pan's shadow to escape, but they don't capture Pan, and Pan doesn't follow them. Therefore, other events will change, but will stay sort of parallel. Anyway, give it a shot, I am really liking writing this one, so I hope you guys like it. Have a great day!
Day 1:
Regina's POV
Gritting my teeth through the pain in my abdomen and the growing pain in my heart, I arrived at a conclusion that I knew would be the hardest and final of my life.
The darkness of Neverland closed around us as we were backed down the sandy shore toward the waterline. The lumbering shadow of the Jolly Roger bobbed just off the coast, ready for our escape. Well, their escape. I wasn't going.
Peter Pan and his Lost Boys thrashed with weapons and magic against my shield, which was holding strong for the moment. The group of unlikely allies, plus my son, that had accompanied me to the dreadful island were scattered on the beach behind me. Eyes trained warily on the shimmering wall separating us from our attackers. I felt a deep and threatening shudder run through my body. I wouldn't last much longer. The arrow pierced through my stomach promised an impending doom, and when it took over, I would no longer be able to enforce the shield protecting my...family.
Summoning any and all strength still lurking within my waning soul, I pushed against the attack and turned my head toward my companions. "Go, now. I can't hold them off much longer."
They were loading up the small boat to ferry them to the ship, but were lingering a few yards into the water. Henry sat with Rumple, Neal, Tinkerbell, and Charming in the row boat, while Emma, Snow, and Hook still stood in the sand. With one glance, I understood that Emma was waiting for me, and Snow and Hook were waiting on Emma. "Regina, we can't leave until you get over here. So, come on." Emma's voice held an urgency and exasperation familiar to me. She wanted Henry out of Neverland as soon as possible.
I shook me head, grunting as Pan launched another vicious assault on my barrier. Had I stop to seriously consider it, I might have been surprised that I was able to deter him at all. Perhaps it was the mother instinct overcoming the odds. "If I follow you now, the shield will fall and they will stop us before we can get away. Go."
From the corner of my eye, I watched Snow's eyes widen in realization, but Emma either missed my intention or refused to acknowledge it. Her eerily calm and controlled voice cued me that she understood exactly what I was saying. "Regina. Get in the boat."
Swallowing hard, pushing away the growing numbness spreading from my bleeding wound, and the pain clawing my heart, I trained my eyes on hers, "No. Get our son out of here. Now. I'm not going to tell you again." My voice was gruff and cold, desperately channeling the dormant Evil Queen to coerce Emma into compliance. We not have always seen eye to eye, but Neverland united us in a way I couldn't quite understand, and I knew that getting her to leave me behind would be near impossible.
"Mom! No! We can't leave you!" I heard Henry yell from the boat as he attempted to scramble out into the choppy waves. I shot Charming a grateful glance as I watched him loop his sturdy arms around my son, holding him in the boat. My heart began to unravel, cracking with the sound of my son shouting for his mom that he just got back.
"You heard him, Regina. We're not leaving you." Emma voice wavered, but her expression was set in unwavering determination.
"Emma, I'm going to die anyway. This wound is fatal. Let me do this for you-for you all. I want Henry safe. Please go." I bit my cheek, struggling to hold in tears. Emma seemed to have a very hard time ignoring my vulnerabilities. She never walked away when I was in pain. I contemplated adding a plea to take care of him, but knew, without a doubt, that she would. When I saw her open her mouth to argue and take a few steps toward me, I cut her off, finally tearing my gaze away from the green-eyed blonde, "Snow. I need one more favor from you." Snow gasped as she easily deciphered my pleading gaze.
The words stuck in my throat just long enough for Snow not to need them. Her suddenly resolute Snow White voice broke through the charged night air, "Hook. Help me."
Realization dawned on Emma a fraction of a second before Snow and Hook each grabbed Emma from opposite sides, dragging her away from me toward the water. Her eyes widened with betrayal and disbelief, "No! Don't! We can't-"
The only words spoken after that moment were the mixed protests of Emma and Henry. A quick survey of the other faces revealed forlorn acceptance and grateful admiration. I committed those gazes to memory, letting them fuel me in my last moments. I had to protect their escape. They had Pan's shadow, and as long as I held Pan and his crew off long enough for them to fly away, they'd be safe. Pan would likely kill me after that, if my bleeding gut didn't first. But, that didn't worry me. If Henry was safe with Emma, away from Neverland, then that's all I needed. My slowly tearing eyes locked with Henry's heartbroken gaze, and I silently expressed my love for the boy that changed me. With Emma still resisting their hold, but on the boat, Neal and Tink began quickly pulling them toward the Jolly Roger.
Finally, turning back to the scruffy teens, I drained every last ounce of power I possessed. That was it. The last few minutes of combat before I would dissolve into nothing but a complex memory. A strange wind-chime-like sound caught my attention, causing me to turn just in time to see the Captain's ship disappear into the sky, departing Neverland for good.
I let my power begin to fade as the anguish in my body increased. The moment of my death had finally arrived. I never imagined it would be in an instance like that, but knew all at once that it made complete sense. Nobody had the strength to bring me down, nobody by the pre-teen boy that captured my heart. When Pan pulsed through my magic barrier, I could easily read the rage in his eyes. I fell to my knees, grasping at my abdomen, the sticky, hot liquid coating my fingers. As the menacing boy approached, I taunted hoarsely, "You might kill me, boy. But, we won."
Pan let out a chuckle so cold and evil, that I shrunk into myself, and that's rather impressive. "Oh, your majesty. I'm not going to kill you." My glassy eyes narrowed, my brain foggy but still curious about his words. "In fact, I'm going to do the opposite." With that, he waved a hand over me and I instantly felt better.
Glancing down, I discovered that my wound was healed and my power was returning. Comprehension wiggled into my shocked consciousness, dread seeping in through every pore. "No." The word was out in a whisper before I could reign it in, not wanting to give him any satisfaction. But my widened eyes full of fear would have given me away, anyway.
"Oh, yes. You now get to live for all eternity wallowing in loneliness. You get to live every single day knowing your son is out there living, growing without you. Knowing you'll never see him again. You get to live every day knowing I'm looking for a way back to him, a way to get what I want. And, you'll have no one. In fact, I will not even allow my boys or myself contact with you. You will never speak to anyone again. Enjoy your new life, your majesty." With one last smug sneer, he turned and motioned to his group. "Let's go, boys."
When they were all gone, I shakily rose to my feet. Trembling, I turned to the inky sky, searching for any last trace of the dirty ship containing my entire life. I was both pleased and devastated at finding none. With a broken whisper bidding farewell to any chance at happiness, I turned my back on the ocean and trudged slowly into the dark jungle.
Day 4:
Emma's POV
I walked idly by the pond. The chilled air stealing sensation from my fingers and nose was no competition for the numbness in my chest. We had been back in Storybrooke for three days, and I simply couldn't find it in me to celebrate or enjoy it. We had gotten back without further complication. The town threw us a welcome back party, but I bailed. My parents reached out to me, but I stayed silent. Hook flirted and tried really hard to be supportive, but I ignored his attempts. The only person I really spoke to at all was Henry. He was the only other person that could understand what I was feeling.
I had taken to engaging in small escapes at every chance I got. The apartment was too crowded. Mom and Dad attempted to apologize, to soothe me, but I couldn't hear it from them. I didn't specifically blame them, but I couldn't help but remember the feeling of Snow dragging me away and David restraining Henry, as we reached for Regina. I found that I frequently needed time to myself to dwell on everything and nothing at all. I always knew who Regina really was, but watching her do what she did filled me with an emotion so strong and mysterious that I could only deal with it in small doses while alone.
"Emma?"
I inwardly groaned at the sound of my mother's voice. My walk by the pond was for the purpose of being away from her. "What?"
"What are you doing out here?" She caught up with me and matched my unhurried stride.
"Being alone." I grumbled, but not with anger or frustration.
"Listen, Emma. I was thinking..." I sighed and turned fully to her, ready to deal with and dismiss whatever she had to say. She shot me a look and continued, "Maybe you should move out of the apartment."
Anger flared within me, "What? You're kicking me out? Now?" I couldn't believe the nerve of the woman standing before me.
"Emma, it's not like that. We love having you with us." She placed a tender hand on my arm, "But you're suffocating there. You blame us for Neverland, and it's too hard for you to live with us."
I felt my anger start to soften, "Mom, I don't...blame isn't the right word. It wasn't your fault...exactly...I just..." I drug my hand over my face, frustrated at the entire situation. "I mean, when I wanted to get us all out of Storybrooke and let Regina sacrifice herself for the trigger, you told me we couldn't because we had to the right, but hard thing. Then, the exact same situation came up in Neverland, and you wouldn't let me do the right, but hard thing. We just left her. I guess...I resent your part in me allowing us to leave her...if that makes sense." I frowned, confused and sad.
"I know, sweetie. And, I'm terribly sorry for what happened. But, I do honestly believe that we had no choice. We all would have died, and you would have lost Henry..." She trailed off as I shrugged and nodded, not really believing what she was saying. "I think you just need time to process and allow yourself to miss Regina. That's what I came to talk to you about. I think you and Henry should move into the mansion. She would want that."
I momentarily failed to reply. Her words shook me. She had managed to label the feeling I had been struggling with since we left Neverland.
I missed Regina.
Longing, sadness, affection...I missed her. I suppose that should have been obvious, but I hadn't bothered to attribute that word to what I felt when I thought about her. I knew about the guilt, and I knew about the regret and sadness...but, I never considered what else was mixed in with it.
"Emma? Did you hear me?" Snow's voice broke through my revelation.
"Hm? No...wait, what? You think I should move into the mansion?" Her other words finally caught up with me.
"Yeah. Henry could have his own room back, you could have your own space, and Regina would like the thought of her home continuing to take care of you and Henry." Her words were soft and full of conviction.
I mulled the idea over and over in my head. She made valid points. Henry would probably like that. I nodded slowly, my brows still furrowed in thought, "I'll think about it and talk to Henry."
Snow offered a small smile and pat me on the shoulder before turning and leaving the way she came.
Day 13:
Regina's POV
I groaned lightly as I stretched on my small bed. After leaving the beach, I had headed to Tink's old tree house, that being the only place I could think of. At least, I still had magic, so I was able to make the place slightly more comfortable. I added a bed where the scrappy cot once stood, a wood burning stove, a small desk, and toilet in a small structure outside.
It had been almost two weeks since the others had escaped. The first week had been full of despair and rage, but the second held rage and acceptance. I figured my emotions would oscillate on a continuous cycle of discomfort and unpleasantness. I thought about Henry all the time. I thought about his future, his warm eyes, his shaggy hair that I really hoped Emma made him trim, and what life looked like for him and Emma.
Emma snuck into my thoughts more and more often over my time there. I couldn't seem to shake the vision of her fighting so adamantly for me to come with them. I had only ever witnessed that desperation from her when it came to Henry. Three days ago, I had accidently summoned a red jacket for myself, instantly reminding me of Emma. In that moment, I recognized that I missed her. I never thought I would miss Emma Swan. But, I missed her inane manners, and idiotic statements of hope and sarcasm. No one could challenge me like she could.
There was no one in Neverland to do anything for me.
As I listlessly stared out the makeshift sky light, a sudden and strange tingle filtered through me. It was quick, but warm. It felt vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. Absentmindedly rubbing my chest over my heart, I frowned when the sensation flickered away almost as quickly as it had come. After several moments of searching for the feeling again, I determined that I must have imagined it, or all of the weird food I had been eating was finally taking its toll.
Day 13:
Emma's POV
I waved to my parents as they drove back down the driveway, leaving me and my son alone in the giant mansion on Mifflin street. Henry bounded up the steps, smiling. His smile was different since returning from Neverland. It was still warm and made me smile in return, but it didn't stretch across his face as it used to, and his eyes never fully reflected it.
He missed his mom.
I missed his mom.
But, we were trying to move on from that. After discussing the possibility of moving into the mansion, we had concluded that it would be good for us. So, over the past week, we had been slowly gathering and packing all of our belongings and moving us in. It shouldn't have taken us as long as it had, but I surmised that neither of us was in any hurry to reside in the home filled with memories of his other mother, my friend.
The last of our things had been brought over, and we were officially living in the opulent house. I felt relieved and anxious, but knew that it was the right call. "Come on, kid. Let's make some dinner." Henry hugged me around the middle as we stood in the open doorway of our new home.
He glanced over his shoulder, down the walkway. It took only a second for me to discern the searching in his gaze. He was looking for her. Waiting for her to follow us up the sidewalk and into our home. It was a habit that we had developed over the past weeks without Regina. We both saw the other suddenly look up as if expecting to see her, and then quickly look away in disappointment as we once again realized that it was impossible for her to be there. "Ok, let's eat." He finally said quietly.
"Hey," I cupped his chin as we slowly entered the house. "I know things are tough, but it's going to get better. We're home now." As the last words left my lips, and the door clicked shut behind us, a strange feeling fluttered through my chest. It felt tingly, but encouraged just a little bit of warmth from my chilled heart. Cocking my head, I glanced back at the door, and then around the foyer, trying to find the source of the feeling that reminded me of something, but I couldn't remember what.
The sensation immediately began to fade, then disappeared all together as Henry's voice called from the kitchen, "Ma? I want sloppy Joe's for dinner."
Day 31:
Emma's POV
"Goodnight, kid." I kissed his forehead and switched off his bedside lamp.
"'night, Ma." Henry mumbled sleepily, turning to snuggle into his blankets.
Most things had begun to return to normal. I sheriffed during the day, albeit not with the enthusiasm I used to, then came home in the evening to have dinner with Henry and sometimes my parents. I still didn't spend much time with them, not really able to control the lingering feelings of that night. But, we got along okay. Neither Henry nor myself smiled like we once did, but that didn't stop us from growing closer. He didn't call me mom anymore. He used to call me and Regina 'Mom', but stopped almost immediately after we left her. I think it was too painful to even say the word. However, I didn't mind in the slightest. I liked having my own mother title. Plus, the few times he slipped and called me mom, I instantly looked around for her.
I softly closed the door, and started down the hall. Like every night, I paused by the master bedroom door. When I moved in, I had taken one of the many guest rooms as my own. And, we never opened the door to her room. That night, however, I found myself wanting to open it. My hands flexed as one neared the handle. As my fingers grazed the metal, the familiar tingles blossomed in my chest.
Since that first time, more random moments of that odd sensation had happened. There didn't seem to be a pattern or any indicators as to what made me feel it or what it was. Once, I had lit a candle in the study, once I pulled out a well used baking dish, and once I had opened up one of Henry's favorite story books from when he was really young. I mentally cataloged touching the door handle to her room as an instance of that feeling, and then pushed the door open.
I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath until it wooshed out dramatically when I stepped in and looked around. I had never been in her bedroom, so I don't know what I had been expecting, but seeing Regina wasn't it. I mean, she wasn't actually there, but the room looked like her, felt like her. My feet brought me to the large bed, my trembling fingers caressed the soft blanket. I was vaguely aware that the tingles hadn't subsided as they usually did.
I breathed deeply and sunk down to sit precariously on the side of the bed. However, I sprung back to my feet as the heated, tingling increased tenfold and my senses were overcome by new additions to it. I could detect an enticing scent in the air, like peaches and vanilla, and my stomach fluttered wildly as my skin erupted in goose bumps.
All of it nearly vanished when I lost physical connection with the bed. As my body began to relax to a dull buzz, I frantically looked around. I had no idea what the hell had just happened. Gradually, a thought began to form in my head. My mind scrambled to make sense of the clues and feelings. All at once a jolt of understanding consumed me.
Regina.
Day 31:
Regina's POV
The last wisps of awareness were fading away as I drifted to sleep. Probably not a good sleep, but sleep at least. It had taken me almost a month to learn to sleep in Neverland, to learn to push away all the thoughts and worries long enough to slumber. I finally figured it out, but sleep never became pleasant.
Suddenly, I gasped and bolted upright, clutching my sheet in one hand and my rapidly thumping chest in the other. I had grown accustomed to the random occurrences of the strangely comforting sensation, but that time was not usual. I could feel the thrum of electricity through out my entire body and caught a whiff of something. Inhaling quickly to attempt to place the scent, I managed to identify honeysuckle and coconut.
All too soon, the feeling waned and I was left trying to gain my breath and replaying the moment, searching for information. Several minutes passed with me combing through memories of each time something like that happened, what I was doing, what I was thinking about, what it had felt like. Then, I added in the new pieces from minutes earlier. A picture began to form, each second that ticked by making it clearer. It couldn't be...
Emma.
AN: Is it making sense so far? Most of the chapters may not be this long, but I wanted to give you guys a good view of how the story is going to look. So, what do you think?