Keep Calm and Carry On
Chapter One
Hermione Granger sits in one of the overstuffed armchairs in the Gryffindor common room; her Transfiguration text book lays open, but forgotten, in her lap. After fighting a war, her seventh year at Hogwarts is a breeze. As Head Girl, she still has the top grades in her class; however, her education has taken a backseat to her future aspirations. While her Transfiguration homework collects dust on her lap, she focuses all of her attention on a pamphlet in her hand that details Wizarding law.
"It is illegal for any witch or wizard to charm a goat," she reads aloud.
"Better not mention that to Aberforth."
Hermione turns in her chair to see Ron enter through one of the common room windows.
"How in Merlin's name did you…?"
"I'm a big, bad Auror now, love," Ron says as he strides over to her. He leans down and places a quick kiss on her lips. "Why enter a building the normal way when you can fly a broom to the roof and climb in through a window?"
Hermione rolls her eyes. "You're not an Auror yet."
"Better not mention that to Harry."
"Too late, I already heard." Hermione glances at the window again to see Harry climbing in. He lands easily on his feet and runs his hands through his hair, a grin on his face, obviously pleased with his feat. "Hello, Hermione," he says.
"Hello," Hermione replies. "Wait." She narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Are you two here for a snog?"
"That would be nice," Ron replies, "but Harry would just get in the way. Unless…you're into that sort of thing?"
Hermione rolls her eyes again and Harry nudges Ron with his shoulder. "I wouldn't be snogging you," he says. His eyes glance towards the girl's dormitory. "Ginny's asleep?"
"Yes. She went up about an hour ago."
"And she's going to stay there," Ron says pointedly. "Safe and sound in her bed. In her Harry-less bed," he adds.
"Ron, Harry has every right to want to snog his girlfriend." Hermione sets her textbook and law pamphlet down and stands from her chair. "Do you want me to go wake her?" she asks Harry.
Harry sends one last look at the girl's dormitory, then shakes his head. "No. Believe it or not, Hermione, Ron and I didn't actually come here to snog our girlfriends."
"Then you're here because…?"
Harry glances at Ron, who nods. Then he pulls a piece of parchment out of his back pocket and hands it to Hermione. The words 'Top Secret' catch Hermione's attention and she groans in spite of herself.
"Where did you two get this?"
"No need to bore you with the details."
"You stole it, didn't you?"
"We'll give it back!"
Hermione groans again. "You two are going to get kicked out of the academy."
"They won't kick us out; they love us."
Hermione's lips pull into a smile, and she begins to read the parchment. "Wait," she says after a minute. "This is the whereabouts of the last few Death Eaters!"
"Told you she'd be interested," Ron tells Harry. He turns back to Hermione, grinning. "Everyone but the Malfoys are hiding out in the same location. We have no intention of going after the Malfoys, of course, but the others…"
Hermione glances up from the parchment and looks at her two best friends. "You'll be outnumbered," she states.
"We thought we'd add one more to our group," Harry grins.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Ron counters.
"No, I want to," Hermione says. She hands the parchment back to Harry. "Just give me a minute to change clothes. There's no way I can fight Death Eaters in my pajamas." She turns and heads toward the girl's dormitories.
"And don't wake Ginny!" Ron calls after her.
However, Hermione finds Ginny already awake in their dormitory. The redheaded girl sits cross-legged on her bed, Potions textbook in her lap as she scribbles an essay furiously.
"You're up late," Hermione remarks. She heads over to her trunk and pops it open, searching for jeans and a T-shirt.
"Forgot this was due tomorrow," Ginny replies. "Why are you changing?"
"Harry and Ron will kill me if I tell you."
"Then you better tell me."
Hermione pulls her jeans on and then rummages through her trunk for a bra. "They found the whereabouts of the last Death Eaters. We're going to…unofficially arrest them, I guess, seeing as neither Harry nor Ron are official Aurors yet, and you and I are just students."
Hermione glances up from her trunk to see that Ginny is also changing out of her pajamas. The Weasley girl pulls her hair into a ponytail and grins at Hermione. "You know me so well," she says. "Come on."
The girls leave their dormitory and descend the stairs to the common room. The boys are waiting on brooms outside of the window. Ron groans when he sees Ginny.
"I said don't wake her," he whines.
"Too bad, big brother of mine," Ginny says as she gets on Harry's broom. Hermione follows suite and wraps her arms around Ron's chest.
"Ginny, you do realize that if you die, Mum will kill me, don't you?" Ron asks.
"Of course," Ginny replies. Harry is flying ahead of them, and Ginny has to turn her head to send Ron a large grin. "Don't worry, Ron. If I die, I'll let Fred know that we'll be expecting you any minute."
Fred Weasley is grinning over his cards. Across from him, Sirius Black returns the smirk.
"You have a horrible poker face, Weasley," Sirius comments.
Fred merely shrugs as the others around the table laugh. James and Remus had folded, and they now sip their beers as Sirius and Fred duke it out.
"I take it your grin means you have good cards," Sirius continues.
"Maybe."
"Well, be ready to lose that smile, Weasley." Sirius lays his cards down. "Straight flush. Seven through Jack. Diamonds."
Fred nods as if he's impressed. "Not bad, Sirius. But before you collect your winnings, you should take a look at my royal flush!" He laughs as Sirius' face falls.
"I can't lose," Sirius says. "I'm the master at poker!"
"Well, I'm sorry, Sirius, but it looks like I'm the master now."
"You are not! Everyone knows that I'm the best!"
"Not anymore."
"You little punk, I should…"
"Sirius, settle down. We all know that you both charm the cards anyway." James grins.
"Do not," Sirius protests.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, James," Fred agrees.
"You both have the ten of diamonds," Remus points out.
"And if I remember correctly," James adds. He picks up his discarded pile of cards. "Yep! I had one too. I'm guessing this is the real ten of diamonds."
James and Remus laugh as Sirius and Fred feign sheepishness. Finally Sirius grins and offers Fred another beer. Fred accepts it and twists the cap off, bringing the bottle to his lips.
He hadn't accepted his death initially. For the first few weeks of his afterlife, Fred spent his time lying in bed, contemplating the decades he'd have to spend without his family…without his twin. But now, he admits that it's not so bad. When he's with good company, and the windows are open, letting in the night air and the scent of the flowers in Lily's garden, he's almost completely content. Almost.
The electronic beeping of a cell phone fills the air, and James, Sirius and Remus immediately reach for their phones. The electronic gadgets were useless to them when they were alive, but it's a requirement to carry one in the afterlife.
"Not mine," James says.
"Nope," Sirius agrees.
Remus shakes his head, and Fred starts to reach into his pocket for his own phone. "Must be Colin calling to ask about pick up lines again," he says, but his face falls when he sees the caller ID.
"Hello?" he answers.
"Fred Weasley, you are being summoned. Report to the Reaper Headquarters immediately."
Fred lowers the phone and for the first time in his afterlife, he feels sick.
"What is it?" Remus asks.
"I'm being summoned," Fred repeats. "I need to report to the Reaper Headquarters immediately."
The other three men grow pale. "Who do you know who's old enough to die?" Sirius asks.
"No one."
Fred stands and walks away from the table. He's so nervous that he nearly trips over his own feet.
"Fred," James calls after him.
Fred turns and stares at James, who looks so much like Harry.
"Stay calm," James tells him. "Whoever it is, they'll be needing you to be strong."
Fred nods, then turns on the spot and Apparates to just outside of the Reaping Headquarters. Even at the late hour, the building is illuminated and busy. A steady stream of people, Wizard and Muggle alike, enter the building and a steady stream leave it in pairs.
"It's okay," a woman says to a teenage girl as they leave the building. "I promise it's not so bad here. You won't even miss living."
Fred swallows and enters the building. He hasn't been here since his own Reaping, and he feels dizzy under the glare of the florescent lights.
There's a long line of people waiting to approach the desk and receive their Reaping assignment, and Fred gets in line behind a portly older man.
The older man gives him a disinterested glance. "First Reaping assignment?" he asks. His accent is American and the lack of wand poking out of his pocket tells Fred that he's probably Muggle.
"How can you tell?"
"You look like you're about to be sick."
"Don't worry; I promise I won't be. I'm almost one hundred percent certain I won't be. Like ninety five percent certain. No, more like, ninety three point two percent. "
The man gives a slight smile. "The first one's always the hardest. It gets easier after that."
"How many Reapings have you done?"
"This is my fifth. My living friends are in their eighties. Dropping like flies these days."
The man steps forward to receive his assignment, and Fred takes a few moments to try to calm his stomach. It's a useless effort, however, seeing as it's still churning when he approaches the desk.
"Weasley, Frederick," the girl behind the desk says. She keys in his name on the screen in front of her and her brow wrinkles. "You've got a special assignment. You'll need to visit with the boss before going. Follow me, please." She stands and leads Fred down a long hallway.
"Special assignment?" Fred asks as he follows her. "Do you know who it is? One of my brothers? My little sister?"
The girl says nothing as she stops at a set of large doors. She opens one and indicates that Fred should enter.
"Go on then," she says. "It's best not to keep him waiting."
Fred enters the room and is shocked that it isn't lit with florescent lights. If anything, it looks like a room that could have been at Hogwarts. It has stone walls lined with bookshelves and a fireplace with a fire roaring the in the grate. On the opposite side of the room is a large mahogany desk. A man dressed in a black suit with a red tie sits behind the desk and beckons Fred forward. The man's slicked back hair is still black and he has no physical signs of old age, but Fred gets the feeling that he's ancient.
"And you are?" the man asks.
"Fred Weasley."
"Hello, Fred Weasley. I'm Death." The man says it calmly, his hands folded on top of his desk.
Fred wants to make a joke to lighten the mood, but he swallows it and nods instead. Considering what he's about to do, he figures he really shouldn't be annoying Death.
"This is your first Reaping," Death says. It isn't a question, but Fred finds himself nodding anyway. "The first one's always the hardest."
"So I hear."
A corner of Death's lips curl upward. "Yours is particularly difficult. I am sorry that this has to be your first assignment. Indeed, if I could give this assignment to a more seasoned Reaper, I would. But you know the rules…"
"The living must be Reaped by their closest deceased acquaintance," Fred states. It's this particular rule that has Fred sick to his stomach. The only ones he knows who are close enough to him to have him as a Reaper are his family members. Harry would pick Sirius, and Fred doesn't know anyone else who's either old enough or reckless enough to die.
"Quite right," Death replies. He pauses for a moment and scrutinizes Fred. "Some Reapings are quick," Death continues. "If a human gets shot in the head or hit with the Avada Kedavra curse, they die almost instantly and their soul falls into the awaiting arms of their Reaper. Illness is a bit tricky, but in most cases the Reaper doesn't have to show up until the very end."
"Then what's so special about my case?" Fred asks.
"Well, she's in a coma, for one."
She. "Ginny," Fred whispers. He realizes that it could just as easily be his mother; however, he feels in his gut that it's Ginny. It would be easier for him to Reap his mother, who has lived a full life, as opposed to his younger sister, who isn't even out of school yet.
"And her illness is a complicated one. There's a fifty percent chance that she'll die. Of course that means that there's a fifty percent chance that she'll live. She'll exist in a state of limbo until she decides what she wants to do."
"She gets to decide?"
"Oh yes. And that's where you come in. As a Reaper, it's your job to convince her to die."
Fred shakes his head vehemently. "I can't."
Death smiles. "Oh, I think you'll find that you have no other choice. You'll go to Earth to collect her soul and bring it back here. Her body will stay alive on Earth until she makes her decision. For the time being, you won't tell her that she has a say in this. Make her believe that she is truly dead. We like to give them a taste of the afterlife before we make them choose."
Fred feels his jaw tighten with anger. He considers himself to be many things – and not all of them admirable – however, he has always taken pride in being honest. At least for important things.
Death eyes him suspiciously from across the desk. "Do we have an understanding, Mr. Weasley?"
Fred wants to tell Death to take this Reaping assignment and stick it where the sun don't shine. He wants to make a rude hand gesture. He wants to fall to his knees and beg not to have him do this to his little sister. Instead, he nods.
"Yes. I understand."
"And you'll carry out your assignment as instructed?"
Fred nods.
"Good," Death says. "Off you go." Behind him the fire in the grate glows green. "You're a wizard, so I trust you're not going to go spastic when I ask you to step into the flames."
Fred walks over to the fire, stepping into it and turning around to face Death with a glare. Somewhere above him, an automated voice says, "Ten seconds to deployment." Like so many things in the afterlife, the fireplace is an odd mix of magic and technology.
"Oh, and by the way," Death adds, just as Fred is starting to feel the pull of the flames. "The girl you're Reaping is Hermione Granger."
Fred opens his mouth to exclaim his shock, but he only gets a mouthful of soot as he's pulled under.
Author's Note: This story has been sitting on my laptop for literally years. I've got a couple other chapters written, so if you guys like it, let me know, and I'll continue it. If not, I'll post what I have and then leave it be (at least until I feel like writing it again). It's been a long, long while since I've written anything for Harry Potter. But HP was my first fandom, so writing it feels like I"m returning to my roots.