All My Battles Have Been Won, But The War Has Just Begun.
-City by Hollywood Undead
If you had asked her a few weeks ago if she was happy, her dark eyes would've rolled in an annoyed manner, the action so utterly natural it was as if she had performed it thousands of times before (in truth, she had, for the amount of stupidity that surrounded her was astounding). She'd wave you off, asking you to define what 'happiness' meant, and what an unnecessary question it was.
If you were to switch around the wording slightly, and ask her if she was content, the twitch in her lip would rise, indicating a soft smile, she'd nod, and say 'yeah', and the harshness of her dark eyes would lift.
You could complain she was entirely too complex to understand. She'd disagree (of course she would.); she'd argue that she was incredibly simple, yet no one these days liked simplicity, and didn't take anything for face value. She hated it- her life was complicated as it was.
But that was a few weeks ago.
When she could engage with the others civilly, almost to the point of enjoying herself (almost. Because if she got too to close, she knew she'd be swimming in a puddle of weakness. Daddy's little girl was never weak, no matter her affiliations with him). She could strike down a load of thugs, and still be home to her mother for a nice quiet cup of tea. Back when the butterflies were born in her stomach around a certain teammate, and she could not hide the blush that painted her cheeks when she saw them.
Those days were when she was content.
These one's, not so much.
She was a hypocrite, not a terrible one, but it could be used in her description. It wasn't that she was distrustful, but the fact that she hid her identity from the others was a prominent need , to ensure their 'safety' (please, in their field of work, that was more of a whisper in the wind than an actual word). Her original teacher was talented, tenfold so. One slip of her tongue, and they'd be all dead. Or Worse.
So she kept it from them. Maybe not only to feel accepted without being judged, but also because she just needed to keep a part of herself. She wanted to reign in that one, tiny detail of fabric of her life, keep it locked in, never have anyone steal it from her. It was her existence, and if she couldn't hold it close like a burning fire, she was no one.
In truth, she really was a no one, just a piece in the game for justice, but she never voiced these opinions.
Her family. Their legacy. Her would-have-been destiny.
Her killing sprees.
No one needed to know of that. (Except for the goddamn Batman because he knew fucking everything). It was her gift to herself; no one was allowed to take it from her. She kept her seeds of doubt to herself.
But she trusted them. All of them. With everything else, because they deserved it, after everything they had been through. All the rough waters she had been pulled from, just as she thought she would drown in it all. They had saved her. And she was so grateful (that would be stretching it. Maybe slightly pleased).
But this, distrust. This secrecy. This attitude that she was a fucking pawn in another's game. (She at least wanted to be a castle. At least they had a purpose.)
If there was one person in the world she felt she owed herself to, would play the measly pawn in any game, it was for her mother. She meant everything to her, Paula Crock did. For all of them. Her blood.
They were playing her; the mentors, her mentor, her father, her sister. It just seemed like everyone needed to move her piece at least a thousand times in this twisted game of chess- and for what? She knew she'd never take on the King, she only moved one space at a time, forward, only striking at close proximity. She sat in the wings, waiting, always waiting for her turn to have a chance at flying, to showcase just what she could do. She was so much more than 'Replace-an-Archer'. She was a machine, a graceful monster, dying to dip her fingers into adventure and freedom.
Those increasingly seeming lonely nights, patrolling Star City under the guise of the moon bearing down on her back. It felt rejuvenating, as she prowled the streets like a lion on a hunt. Green Arrow was not how he once was, his ever longing for family seeping into his professional mindset. It was sad, that she seemed like a ghost now to him, and she couldn't tell what was worse- the fact that she was a distraction and she noticed or the fact that she herself had started to look to him as a father figure too late.
She took to patrolling on her own, because she could not take the blank looks, and the face of someone stuck in the past. It wasn't her fault that Red and him had fallen out with one another due to circumstances that were beyond anyone's control. Over the years of her placement on the Team, her and Red Arrow had come to a mutual agreement of respect, and amenity.
He seemed to have also become very close friends with heroin, and disobeying the Justice League. She laughed, and thought it ironic, yet when he dropped off the radar a year ago, she was sad to see their relationship put on hold until further notice. He was the bishop, zig zagging across the board like a star in the sky. As the moon, she always witnessed it, but she also had no say in its direction. Just an observer. She longed to join the race, and be free herself, as she shot an arrow through the hood of a sweatshirt on a thug about to rob a young girl on the streets. She couldv'e done more.
But she had to restrain, keep her limbs in check, follow the one space at a time pace, incase they could interpret just what her movements meant. Seeing her in all her glory, the cat would be out of the bag. 'Who are you? Who the fuck are you Artemis Crock?'
They weren't allowed to know. Pawns be damned.
She was craving that indulgence. God, as much of an ass as he was, her father had been right.
"Just you and the elements. You vs. the no in society, shoving back what they constantly tell you, you can't do. That's it girl, that's why we do this. Because I will not conform to some sick society that tells me I have to put away my toys. Not anymore girl. Not for me, and not for you."
Girl. It was always girl.
It was creeping, that wild animal instinct to just do. It had been crushing her, her binding on it slipping.
But she held it in, thinking she was smart, thinking she was wise.
How wrong, how consequentially wrong she was.
It didn't matter that she hadn't been asked to come on patrol with Ollie in close to 3 months. It was fine that as of late, the little notes she found left in her room with little 'encouragements' from her father, and it was perfectly normal, that even though she saw behind the meaning of each message, she always kept the paper in a hidden alcove of her floorboards.
She didn't care that Wally had been distant, a project here, a test there, and that this new girl Linda Park was absolutely fan fucking tastic. Zatanna and Robin- no, sorry, Dick 'Troll' Grayson had been a couple for a little over 8 months and were still in the honey moon stage.
Kaldur used to pay attention, and ask her how things were over a steaming cup of tea; that is Roy fell off the face of the planet 6 months ago, and he had his own problems to deal with.
Raquel was still too new and adjusting to everything, her own fascination and wonder at the team dynamic eclipsing the realities around her.
Conner and M'gann were just fucking dandy.
She never made mention that Shadow assassins had been tailing her endlessly for the past few weeks. That her and her mother were struggling to make ends meet as of late, since Paula had lost her job when the building had burnt down. There had only been 3 break ins to their shabby apartment, and Jade haunted her dreams, screaming of death and pain.
She didn't feel lonely, used, or depressed. She didn't want to just scream out in frustration, throw her bow on the ground, stomping and whining for all the utter and absolute shit everything had become in the past year.
She refused for a few reasons; one, because she realized everyone had terrible days, months, or even years, and eventually it all came to and got better. She had had an unbelievable year before, and so she felt retribution for her good luck was deserving. She had a roof over her head, a healthy family, and she was optimistic that this was the worst of the worst, yet she could deal.
Secondly,Crock's didn't cry. They didn't throw in a temper tantrum whenever they wanted. When the going got touch, they broke necks and moved on with their day. It was a dog eat shit world, and she was currently in the litter box of life.
These were little problems, and everyone had many. She kept her mouth shut, eyes open, and chin high.
It was routine cleanup for a Tuesday night; scout the perimeter, enclose, entrap, arrest. Covert, silent, fast. It was like in class assignments that the 'professors' at Gotham A. gave her every day because she was too quick minded and bored during their assigned class time. Painless.
So when the Traffic lords of Chicago were gathered to exchange the new Kobra Venom between themselves, a well placed arrow to the hand of the fattest one there seemed appropriate (almost as appropriate as the looks of horror now etching onto each of their faces.)
The team dispatched swiftly, Robin tumbling, Superboy leaping. Kid Flash, a helpless victim to gravity once again as he plummeted into a garbage pile. It was endearing in a sort of way, but entirely careless, and unnecessary for the success of the mission. Zatanna, a full story above her and observing from a ledge, called upon her spun words to completely encase the ground in darkness, almost like a cloud had suddenly fallen from the brooding sky above.
Artemis waited, calculating the aim of her bow arm to which she'd have to shoot to knock out one of the men. This was her favourite type of shooting; easy picking, high advantage archery.
Robin made quick work of 3 men in designer suits, the cackle following sounding almost sinister as he'd 'accidentally' tore through the expensive material. Zatanna, now levitating past the archer and down towards the ground, tisked at the Boy Wonder's choice of action, but wasn't distracted enough to not summon the loose threads to wrap around the numerous dealer's unconscious bodies. However, the petty man advancing towards the magician's turned back did not seem to appreciate the humour.
Artemis, in glee of simple picking, knocked him clean out with a boxing glove arrow above the chaos, certainly did.
Kid Flash, taunting a few men raining bullets on him, felt bored as he finally turned serious as he sped towards them, with the frontal force of a dump truck. Ramming them into the brick wall, made the speedster cringe slightly with the dull thunkthat resonated in the area, but Artemis simply felt the shiver of anticipation flow through her.
She had to reign in her emotions before someone noticed, and mentally scolded herself for getting too into the action.
Spitting out what he thought was a witty one liner, the only response Kid Flash received was his own grunt of pain as Robin smacked him in the head in passing, and the arrow she let fly past his shoulder to disarm the thug behind him coming with a machete.
All in all, the mission was going successfully.
Until the dull twing of metallic bullets hitting solid wall around her was pressing in on her, and one caught her shooting shoulder. No sound of a gun had been heard to fire, so it not only took her by complete surprise, but it hurt. She tried to hold in the groan of pain, biting her tongue so hard that the blood seeping into her mouth was flowing and filling her mouth at the same rate as her shoulder was flowing down her right arm. She turned her head to see who the fuck had shot her, only to suddenly feel the spins of moving too quickly. She gripped onto her ledge for dear life, dizziness be damned if she fall 3 stories like a rookie. She'd never hear the end of it from her teammates (or her father if he ever found out).
Once she focused once more, the quite audible clang of ammo in a gun being shot went off, and the cry of a little bird rang through the space like a crack of thunder.
All motion stopped, all those present horror struck at the event that someone had shot Batman's protégé. To the petty criminals not defined as being insane (Joker, Two-Face), it was like an unspoken rule not to completely damage the Boy Wonder, because the Dark Knight was the vengeance of the night- as well as revenge. Someone either had a death wish, a mean streak with birds, or was the biggest fail in the history of criminals.
"ROB!" the roar of Kid Flash was in perfect timing as Robin fell.
No, no no no, this wasn't supposed to happen, Artemis chanted to herself. Just as she was calculating how to quickly get down from her high position, a dark movement below caught her eye. A streak of red flew out right beneath her, through a door to a warehouse, which the window behind her had access to.
The shrieks of Zatanna and Wally, loud and getting higher in pitches, reached her before she became fully pissed, letting her past feelings of revenge simmer for a moment.
"Oh my god, it's in his chest,-"
"Rob, ROB buddy please wake up, come on-"
They were like chickens that had just gotten their heads cut off. This was a reality of the job, and as shocking and terrible as this was, this was not the time to act like normal citizens.
"GET A GRIP GUYS! You shrieking is not doing anything!" Artemis roared in anger and frustration. Both of her conscious teammates snapped their heads up towards her, having completely forgot she was there. She could barely see it, but the blood rose colouring Robin's uniform was decorating his uniform. It was sick, and twisted, but it was also beautiful in a demented way. But she could clearly make out the shallow rise and fall of his chest, meaning there was hope.
God, this was typical of her childhood, it almost made her laugh.
"Zatanna, Kid, listen! Do NOT take the bullet out. Zatanna, check his ABC's, and then apply direct pressure onto the wound. Don't use too much magic quite yet, we're not sure where it went in. Also, see if there's any exit wounds!" The magician, trembling slightly, but with her chin held high, nodded, and got to work.
"Kid, call Rocket and Superboy from the bioship, explain what happened, and get him out of here ASAP. Be prepared to give him CPR or treat for Shock. Also, CATCH!"
She unclipped her bow from behind her, tossing it into Kid's awaiting arms. His uniform was stained crimson, only fueling the adrenaline starting to fill her body. The shadow had a head start, and she needed to end this fast. The pain of her shoulder from throwing her bow was like lightning through her body, but she merely held tightly onto her fist, in an effort to deviate the pain.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled, holding the bow like he had never seen one before. "Why are you giving me- WHY ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR SHOULDER LIKE THAT?"
Crap. She didn't mean for him to see. Well, no matter.
"Got shot in the shoulder, no time! I'm going after this asshole, I'll be fine, get Robin out of here Kid Impatience!" She used her left hand to reach around for her pack, flicking her wrist to extend the crossbow into a ready weapon.
Fuck she was getting excited; she was being backed into a corner, but the pressure was building and the thought of going full out on someone was so tempting right now…
"You get your ass down here! It's not important, you can't do this! DON'T DO THIS! ARTEMIS!" His voice had gone up ten fold in volume, and deep down, past her insecurities about their relationship, she knew his panic was for her , not as a teammate, but… there were other things to take care of.
Plus, no one told her what she couldn't do. It was like a death wish just willing to be fulfilled.
"Wally LISTEN to me!" She yelled back, trying to sound as put together as possible. "Rob is in critical right now! Zatanna might go into shock from this experience! You and I both know you're needed here, while I'm needed elsewhere! You're the one with a biological background, you know what you're doing. Once this is finished, I swear to god I will come back and kick your ass at whatever it is you want, just let me do this, and go take care of the more important matter!"
The stare between them was intense. His eyes, too dark to see directly, were trying to see through her, trying to tell her something that she just couldn't understand from this distance. But she wanted to convey everything right there, say things she knew she should have before, but it could wait till later; right now, someone was dying, and so was her patience.
"Alright." He finally relented, 'but I swear to god Artemis, if something happens to you, I will personally kill you."
She smiled gleefully, and bolted through the window, leaving behind her team, and bringing along an old friend;
Insanity.
If you had asked her as she all but flew through that drug house if she was happy, she wouldn't lie to you.
She'd answer yes.