Buffy Visits the Psychiatrist

by Bitca Bunny

Buffy's boss makes her see a Psychiatrist after she nearly kills a customer. Small crossover at end.

TITLE: Buffy Visits the Psychiatrist
AUTHOR: Bitca Bunny
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL: bitca_bunny@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Humor/Crossover
SPOILER ALERT: Buffy Seasons 1-6,
RATINGS/WARNINGS: PG-13 For Cursing and Sexual Innuendo. I know it's not that bad. I am covering my butt, OK?
SUMMARY: Buffy's boss makes her see a Psychiatrist after she nearly kills a customer. Small crossover at end.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. If I did I'd be writing this from a Florida Beach Resort. So Please Don't Sue. Dr. Tenlu Duarf is mine however, yes I know so what? Like this helps me.
NOTES: This is my first Fanfic so I wanted to do something quick and funny. Feedback welcome but no flames please.

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Buffy nervously walking around the room saw a plaque saying Dr. Tenlu Duarf Paranormal Psychiatrist Author of Succuba and Incubus: Sexual Dysfunction In the Work Place.

At least if she let anything slip of the supernatural kind the doctor wouldn't have her on a diet of strained peas in a sanatarium.

A month ago that sounded like a luxury vacation. A month ago having all her family and friends chopped into little pieces sounded good too.

She was feeling MUCH better now.

She leaned in for a closer look at the Doctor's diploma. Cracker J XOB University, Class of Nineteen-hundred and one. This Diploma valid in all dimension and realities.

A glass bowl sat on the table filled with multicolored candies, Buffy bent down to pick one up. White M&Ms printing on the round candies.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Miss Summers. Those are medication." DR. Duarf said walking in the door.

"Not M&Ms?"

"They are Munchy & Medicines chewable flavored sedatives. Purple is Prozac, Yellow is Valium, you get the idea. You are more then welcome to them. I find it helps my more agitated patients." the Dr. didn't mention the nice kick back the company gave her for promoting it's product.

"Thanks maybe later." Buffy said dropping the pill and sitting down.

"Shall we start?" Dr. Duarf sat in her chair with a pad and pen.

"My boss says I can't come back to work until I am cleared by a Psychiatrist."

"Why did your boss say this?" She said making notes.

"I realize I got carried away with the hugging, But It's not like I meant to crack two ribs. And how was I to know the customer had issues with human contact." Buffy continuing miserably "He was out in public, shouldn't he have been wearing I sign? I screech like a six year old then froth at the mouth like a rabid Terrier when touched."

"We aren't here about his problems, staggering as they are, We are here about yours."

"Do you think you need to see a Psychiatrist?" She asked using a standard tactic Doctors learn the first day in med school, stall for time, you get paid by the hour. It's taught simply pretend you are on Jeopardy and answer everything in the form of a question.

"No, I am Happy. I want to live!" Buffy smiling a big smile.

"That's good" Dr. Duarf jotting down a two stars in the patients folder. "It puts you ahead at least three sessions, four if you want to live and breath."

"Breathing's not a problem" Buffy nodding. "If you'll clear me, I'll even be able to afford food."

"I'm sorry I'm going to need a little more information first. Why did you hug the man till his ribs cracked?"

"I was happy he was the first customer since I went back to work. And well I've had a rough time. You die one time it's hard but after you do it a couple more times. It's still real hard."

"Your dead?"

"No, I came back. If they gave frequent flyer miles for death, I'd never have to pay for plane tickets again."

"Is this why you felt the need to hug someone till they popped?"

"It was an accident, and the doctor said he'll be fine in six weeks. My job is kinda stressful, and part of it is being really strong and I forget just how strong I am sometimes."

"The job were the boss won't let you go back? It gives you strength somehow?"

"No, that's just to pay the bills. I am a Super Hero." At the Blank look on the doctors face Buffy said in a menacing voice. "Do you know what a Vampire Slayer is?"

"She who sleeps with lots of Vampires?"

"I said SLAYER. And I've only slept with two!"

"Ah." Doubt evident in the doctors voice.

"I've battled demons, not just my own personal ones, huge horned, slimy trying to suck the world into eternal damnation. I AM THE SLAYER" Buffy screamed loudly swinging her fist down on the arm of her chair. It cracked with a loud pop."

"This is going to take more then one session." Dr. Duarf said thinking it wasn't the slayer part she was doubting.

"Two?"

Dr. Duarf started snickering

"Four?"

"Your joking right?"

"Eighteen?"

"How about I write you a letter saying you can go back to work. Granted you come back for weekly sessions. Here is a prescription for the Munchy & Medicines take two every ten minutes until the need to hurt people passes." Dr Duarf said handing Buffy the paper work she would be needing.

Buffy giving a defeated sigh left grabbed the papers and went out the door. While walking into the waiting room Buffy stopped there Angel was standing in the middle of the waiting room dripping a puddle of water on the floor. Seaweed hanging down off his head and over his shoulder. Brooding silently, torment written in every line on his face and unbearable pain in his eyes. Which was normal for him, water was new though.

"New look?" Buffy grinning.

"Don't ask." Angel replying shaking his head. A large clump of seaweed fell.

"Ah, My Six o'clock. Mr. Angel." Dr. Tenlu Duarf "Right this way."

The usually stealthy vampire made loud squishing sounds as he followed the doctor into her office. Buffy giggling as the door shut, one thing always make a person feel better, seeing a former ex miserable.

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Finis